Why Not Me?

Chapter 5

May's POV

"So what do you want to do first buddy?" I asked Calum as I drove into town. After what happened in the kitchen with Harry and Kelly, I just couldn't take it. I tried my best not to show any expression but I know for sure that I failed. Seeing them together is something I'm still trying to get used to but for some reason I can't.

I cooked the fastest I ever have in my life and was out the door with Calum immediately he was done eating. I needed space to breathe. I drove back home to pick Mariana up after she said she wanted to tag along as well and the three of us were silent except for Calum who kept asking questions that we gladly answered.

He looked at me as though in deep thoughts. He scratched the back of his neck, "The kids park?" He asked. He can be so cute and it's just so adorable. I wish I had a little brother or even a sister, just someone.

"Your wish is our command sir" I joked looking at him through the rearview mirror and saluted. He giggled and Mariana rolled her eyes. She seemed to be in a grumpy mood today which is unlike her.

Within no time we were at the park. Calum spotted some friends of his and just like that he was gone. Mariana chuckled as she watched him. Calum is dear to all of us. Mr Matron died before Alexis could find out she was pregnant and when she did, she believed that it was Mr Matron coming back to her.

He is a special child.

Mariana and I made our way towards a bench not too far from where Calum was playing and sat down.

"Are you okay babe?" I asked with a frown. Something was definitely wrong. She heaved a sigh and looked at me. "What can I say?" She shrugged. She can be so hard to talk to when it involves her sometimes. I remained quiet as I thought about what to say. She didn't want to talk about it just yet and I respected her decision. I just needed to think of something to lighten the mood.

"It's Liam" She said after a long pause. I turned to look at her but didn't speak. I was already thinking of ways I could destroy his genitals if I had to.

"Apparently his heart has already been taken" She whispered more to herself but I heard her loud as day. I didn't know Liam had a girlfriend.

I opened my mouth to talk but shut it. I've never seen Mariana like this ever. It was even the first time she was admitting to having feelings for Liam even though she didn't out and say it. I knew what she was feeling, I wish I could take away her pain somehow.

"How long have they been dating?" I asked and she looked at me in confusion. Her forehead creased, "he isn't dating anyone but thats the thing, he doesn't want to because he wouldn't be able to fully give himself to anyone apart from her" She whispered the last part to herself. The pained expression in her eyes was a sad sight. Mariana, strong, crazy and funny Mariana just looked weak and broken.

My stomach turned as I watched her, I wanted nothing more than to swap places with her. After all, I was used to such pain.

"Now I truly know how you've felt over the years May" She chuckled bitterly. "Loving someone that can never love you back- it sucks and hurts as hell" She continued her ranting not once looking directly at me. Tears rolled down her left cheek but she wiped them away quickly.

"I think I've cried enough... Mariana Duapez never cries" She confessed. My mouth hung open. She had been going through this for maybe more than a day and I wasn't there for her.

"Why didn't you call me?" I asked pulling her closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. She remained silent like I didn't just ask her a question.

"Hey" I pushed her off of me slowly to look her in the eye. She smiled lazily but I didn't. "Take it from someone who knows exactly how you are feeling. If you truly do love him, you won't feel better anytime soon. It'll hurt like s**t and you'd feel empty not to mention that you wou-" I got interrupted by Mariana who burst out laughing.

Just what I wanted. I figured if I made the conversation very intense she would try to escape it by laughing. I joined her in laughing as well. We recovered from our fits of laughter and a peaceful silence befell us.

She didn't look shattered anymore, she looked calm and relaxed. I squeezed her thigh and mouthed a 'you will be fine' in which she nodded. I was going to be there for her every step of the way.

Calum came running to us with his best friend Caren next to him. They engaged Mariana and I in a conversation which consisted of Caren telling us how annoying and ugly Calum is, he defended himself and called her a boy. Cute.

Mariana was having fun talking back and forth with Calum and Caren and I was happy they came the time they did. We asked Caren's mum for permission to take her out for ice cream and the lovely lady agreed without hesitation.

We were currently at our favorite ice cream parlor. Caren and Calum ordered the biggest containers. It was my best hangout yet, they had us spilling our guts out in laughter. They were hilarious and innocent at the same time, Caren's glares she sent towards Calum were the cutest. I got a text from Kelly telling me to bring Calum home because they had to start leaving for their trip. Trip?

It was about 7:21pm, we dropped Caren home and headed for Kelly's house. Within no time we were parked outside and made our way into the house. Alexis was already back and there were a few hand luggages in the corner of the sitting room. It downed on me, they are going to Atlanta to visit and spend some time with their family members.

I was surely going to miss the hell out of Kelly and Calum, a week seemed to be an eternity.

Harry descended down the stairs behind Kelly, he was still here? I cleared my thoughts. They were late so they left in a hurry, leaving Mariana, Harry and myself standing in the drive way.

I sighed hugging Mariana and she pushed me away playfully. Harry just stood there watching us but I ignored his presence. We started walking towards our cars and Mariana gave Harry a tap on his behind. He looked taken aback for a few seconds until he noticed it was her.

She burst out laughing at his facial expression and he smirked. They played a game of cat and mouse as he chased her to get his revenge. I just stood by my car watching.

I wish it was Me.

Finally they stopped and Harry smiled at me. It was a boyish smile and I couldn't help but smile back. Mariana walked back from the distance she had run and stood beside us.

"I'm starving, what do you guys say if we go grab a bite?" She asked out of breath. I nodded my head because I could really do with a chunk load of food.

I searched for my keys in my pockets but couldn't find them. My eyes widened at the realization, I left them on the counter in Alexis kitchen.

"f**k f**k f**k" I cursed. Harry and Mariana's questioning eyes were on me.

"I left my keys in there" I said to Mariana pointing my finger towards the Matron's house.

Mariana chuckled.

"I can give you guys a ride, after all we are heading the same direction" Harry's voice echoed...

Harry's POV

I felt a tap on my backside and froze for a second. I can never get used to Mariana's butt fetish.

She burst out laughing, making remarks about my facial expression and then I smirked. Her face dropped as she knew what was to come if I caught her, a tickling spree.

She begun to run and I chased her leaving May standing awkwardly. I gave up and walked back towards May. She looked beautiful in her floral blouse and short jeans and her hair left down.

I smiled as I got closer to her and she smiled back? She has a cute smile. After our interrupted conversation in the kitchen today, I'd been thinking about her. Not anything wrong but just wondered if she was going to warm up to me. She looked calm when I tried to speak to her earlier.

Honestly I didn't know why it mattered to me if she spoke to me or not, it never did before but for some reason now it does. I'd like to think it's because of Kelly but I know it's not.

"I'm starving, what do you guys say if we go grab a bite?" Mariana asked breathlessly. May nodded her head and I shrugged. Whatever was fine with me, it's not like I had anything planned. With Kelly gone, my week was just going to be spent with the boys.

"f**k f**k f**k" May cursed frustradely. Our eyes were glued on her waiting for an answer. I knew I wasn't going to get one but Mariana definitely was.

"I left my keys in there" She said pointing toward Kelly's house. Mariana chuckled.

"I can give you guys a ride, after all we are heading the same direction" I said. May's head snapped to my direction and I held her gaze. She looked like I had asked her to strip down for me.

Mariana begun to walk towards my car but May remained frozen and I on the other hand stood before May with a raised brow. She nodded lazily and walked pass me towards my car and I followed behind her noticing how her hips swayed left and right. f**k she is se- wait what?

Get your head out of your ass Harry! She is kind of dating your best friend and you are dating her best friend.

We were all seated with May in the back and Mariana next to me. I kept stealing glances at May when she wasn't looking. I don't know why exactly but my eyes just kept controlling my mind. We decided on bistro, their food is devine.

I parked and Mariana was the first to exit the car and before I could stop myself, I locked all the doors. May frowned as she tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge. Mariana was typing on her phone totally oblivious to what was going on.

May had no idea it was intentionally locked by me.

"May" I said to get her attention. Her head snapped in my direction.

"We need to talk" I informed her but she just looked at me like she would rather be some place else.

"We have nothing to talk about Harry" She looked like she was trying to control her temper. Is she bipolar or something? Well I would have to push it tonight.

"We actually do M-" I got interrupted

"No Harry we don't have anything to f*****g talk about" She shot back harshly. She was starting to get me riled up. She is definitely bipolar.

"Why the f**k are you so angry? I told you I was f*****g sorry even though I don't see what the major problem is" I barked angrily at her. She was frustrating me with her anger issues.

Her beautiful hazel greenish eyes were glaring at me at that point and if looks could kill I would have died. Mariana was looking at us weirdly but she didn't intrude.

"Then why the f**k do you care?" She screamed as she mentioned the word 'f**k' in my face. I was speechless, why did I care? Kelly wasn't compelling me to talk to May or any of her friends so why did I feel the need to settle things with May?

I remained mute as I watched her look at me obviously expecting an answer. I unlocked the doors and stepped out of the car. She is unbelievable. There I was trying to talk to her and she was throwing tantrums my way? I never get borthered or frustrated easily but this girl just showed me how frustrated I can get- really frustrated.

I marched pass Mariana who tried to talk to me but I just ignored her. I had no idea why May not wanting to talk to me was having this much effect on me. It was then that it hit me that she was once in my position years ago and it was frustrating. There was just something about the way she looked at me but I knew it couldn't be, She doesn't see me like that but I have to admit that that look was f*****g hot.

I walked towards our usual booth and took a seat. May and Mariana came in shortly and took their seats as well. May was so angry back in the car but she wasn't anymore... Yup, bipolar. She smiled slightly as she stared down on her phone, she was probably texting Zayn.

Angela? Annabelle? I don't know what her name was but the waitress appeared to take our orders.

May ordered barbecue pizza, Mariana settled for pasta and I chose chicken pizza. No one was talking at the table. I just sat there awkwardly waiting for my food.

Our foods arrived and immediately everyone started munching. May was eating like a starved dog. It wasn't unlady like but let's just say she could eat for us three. She didn't care that there were guys at the other table looking at her. She was hungry and she ate...

It was amusing watching her eat like that, most girls would eat like they don't have stomachs but May wasn't one of them.

She looked up at me and I masked my smile instantly. We continued to eat for minutes until everyone was done. There was still this awkward silence. The waitress came back and Mariana asked for the bill to be separated. I frowned but didn't say anything until the waitress nodded and left.

"Separate bills? I'm paying" I asked and answered at the same time. She shrugged and continued to type on her phone. Mariana was kind of different today and I could tell, she wasn't herself. May frowned and was about to speak when her phone rang.

"Hey" She answered smiling. She rose to her feet, pulled out money from her pants, handing it to Mariana who gladly took it and excused herself as she spoke into the phone to Zayn.

The bill arrived and it wasn't hard convincing Mariana that I would pay. If May were here it would have been hard as hell. We exited shortly after and we saw May leaning against my car as she waited.

The car ride was painfully awkward and I was glad it ended when I pulled out into my driveway.

Mariana and May exited and I followed.

"Thanks for the ride" May said looking directly at me. I smiled and shrugged- at least she spoke to me for the first time after our car incident.

Mariana pulled me in for a hug and squeeze my butt slightly before pulling away. I chuckled. I wanted to reach out and hug May as well but that would have been awkward.

They both made their way towards Mariana's house and I sighed entering mine.

I flopped down on my bed after a quick shower. I checked my texts to see if I had gotten a reply from Kelly but nothing. I was about to toss my phone away when I saw her come online. I creased my forehead, was she avoiding me?

Me: baby are you there?

I sent her a quick text. I knew something was up today because she was acting weird. She wouldn't let me touch her for long, kiss her for long, she kept pulling back.

I groaned when minutes had passed and still nothing from Kelly.

She was online the entire time.

I couldn't help but feel that I messed up somehow and in a way I knew the distance wasn't going to solve it.

The night was still young so I kept scrolling through my i********: to kill time. I was on Kelly's account lusting over her as always and then May's i********: handle caught my attention....

Other times I just scrolled by but tonight was different. I clicked on it and waited for the page to load. Her page screamed May. I smiled as I continued to scroll down further.

Her captions were hilarious and some had me chuckling and laughing. I was about to press the back button back to Kelly's page when a picture caught my attention. I clicked on it and my eyes widened. Honestly speaking it wasn't the nicest picture on her account but I liked it. It captivated me.

I couldn't remember the last time I ever saw her with her hair held up. It was just a sight to see. I looked at the picture more than I had anticipated and the next thing I know, I screenshoted it.

What has gotten into me?