Torn Apart

It was one of those things that I didn't expect to happen. Maybe to other people, but never to me. I lived my life like any other teenage girl. I went to school, did some extracurricular activities, and then came home to my family. My family life might have been the least normal to other people, but after a while, you learn that it's easier to put up and shut up than speak up. It was easy until someone decided to ruin the natural flow of things. The room had fallen silent, the only thing that could be heard was the roar of the 40-year-old heating unit and the hum that came from the artificial lighting above me. The pale white light made everything that was shown under it look dead and lifeless. I glanced around the room as I placed the last piece of clothing on the top of the pile. One last good look to make sure I had packed everything that seemed important. I took the lid of the suitcase and tried to close it, not able to squish it down far enough. "Why do you have to move to Jersey?" Lilith asked. She laid on my now bare bed. The conversation we were having prior came to a complete stop. I sighed and looked up from the suitcase that I was trying to smush. My hands ran through my hair and I let out a small, exasperated groan. "My aunt wants me to come live with her. Which won't happen if I can't get this damned thing closed." Vexed, I motioned towards the suitcase I was on top of. I watched as Lilith rolled her eyes, and sat up on the bed. She swung her legs over the edge, her eyes glued to me as I sat on top of the suitcase. "Need some help?" Lilith jumped off the bed and kneeled next to me, grabbing the zipper and bringing it around the suitcase. "Thanks, there was no way I was going to do that myself." I painted a gentle smile on my face to push away the sunken feeling in my chest. My heart dropped down to my stomach at the realization that this was going to be the last time I saw the love of my life. "I don't want to go." I grabbed onto the desk next to me and used it to help pull me up from the awkward position I was in. I nearly yelped when I felt arms wrap around the back of me. "Then don't go." She whispered. I closed my eyes tightly to help the tears that threatened to spill stay back. I couldn't cry, not right now. I turned around and grabbed Lilith's face to pull her into a kiss. One of our last kisses until the end of High School. If she hadn't forgotten about me by then. "I have to." My lips hovered over hers as I pulled away, neither of us wanted to let go even though we knew we had to. "Why do you have to? You're doing perfectly fine here. We're doing fine here." She stated, her long, tan, and nimble finger came up to brush a stray blonde curl out of my face. Lilith had been my life, my world, my whole universe since we were twelve. "You want to tell that to everyone else? You know how my family is, Lilith." I tried to keep my voice low and calm. I hated the idea of leaving everyone I loved behind, but it was one of those things I had no control over. "They suck," Lilith said, annoyed. She looked away from me to stop herself from getting too upset. "We've been together for over five years, and now you're getting taken away from me? I don't know what I'm going to do with myself." Lilith continued, her arms crossed over her body like a child who hadn't gotten their way. I took a deep breath, and slowly let go of the girl I was holding before someone walked in on us. "We're going to be okay, you don't need to worry about that. We're still going to move to Seattle for college, and we're going to get out of here." I grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a hug, my arms wrapped around her. She rested her head on my shoulder, She held me tightly to her body. "I don't want you to leave, Morti." My heart shattered, the whisper made me feel terrible that I did this to her. The reality of the entire situation hadn't been processed yet, and I didn't want to think about it. It would have been better for everyone if I didn't come to terms with everything just yet. "I don't want to leave. Trust me, I don't. I've been thinking of ways to try to convince my family of letting me stay, but it's said and done. I get transferred to a different IB school as soon as I get there, and I don't even know which one it is." I rubbed my eyes in frustration; just as everything was getting somewhat better for me. I had to leave it all behind and start somewhere else again. "Where does your aunt even live?" "Some place called Hasbrook Heights. Only like three hundred people are living in it. You blink once while driving through, and you miss it." My hand flailing around in the air, getting even more irritated that I would be stuck in a town of cookie cutters. "All I know is that I'm going to hate living with my aunt, and I have a long-ass drive in the snow. I could die before I even get up there." Lilith glared at me, she never found any of my death jokes funny. I liked my dark humor, even if it made everyone else feel uncomfortable. "Oh, shut up. You're the one who decided to drive from Georgia to New Jersey." Lilith groaned, she rolled her eyes and grabbed the suitcase for me. "Let's get you ready to go, little miss emo." I probably didn't make her feel any better, but I was not in the right state of mind to make anyone laugh or ease up the situation. Even if it was for Lilith. Lilith and I walked down the stairs to the first level of the house. I looked around one last time, the layout of everything burning into my memory. "I can't believe I'm leaving this place..." I muttered under my breath. I walked through the living room. I stopped along each one of the picture frames that hung on the wall. "Why don't you and your aunt not get along?" I turned my head towards her, looking away from the pictures. I never really talked about my aunt. She had always been one of the family members that existed in the background. "Honestly, there are a lot of reasons why she and I don't get along. The last time I visited her, she had all of these rules. No phones after a certain time, can't eat with forks, you can't sleep past 8 am." I didn't mention the real reason why I dreaded being over there as a child, but I figured that the prison rules were enough to have her understand. "Is she a warden or a stay-at-home, mom?" Lilith laughed. I smiled and walked back over to her. "Your guess is as good as mine." We stood like that for a while. Engulfed in our childhood memories. Lilith had lived down the street from me my whole life, and now that I had to leave, everything felt more like a dream than real life. "I have to start heading out if I want to be there in time to start school on Monday." I had noticed her eyes looked glossy, ready to start crying at any minute. This was it. This was goodbye. Lilith had opened the front door with a shaky hand. She pulled the door open, and we walked out. The walk to my car was silent. Neither of us wanted to speak in fear that it would have started the waterworks. I shoved the suitcase into my trunk and slammed it shut. My keys jingled while I held them tightly in my hand. I turned my attention back to the tall blonde. "I-uh. I'm going to miss you..." "I'm going to miss you too, so much" I could feel the cold January wind around us, it had made our hug all the more comforting. We pulled away, and I looked down. "I'm going to miss you more" I didn't know what to say next. I sniffled and nodded my head; not able to think response for her. Instead, I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her closer. Everything I had wanted to say and the things I couldn't all came out in the form of a passionate kiss. Unfortunately, we couldn't stay there forever and I needed to start my journey if I wanted to make it on time. "I have to go now," I muttered. "I know." Her voice was almost unrecognizable. Shy, and timid. I knew she had to be scared about what was going to happen next, because so was I. I silently walked to my car and opened the door. "Goodbye, Lilith," "Bye, Morti." She waved sadly with her eyes focused on the asphalt under us. I smiled one last time at the girl, and the home I had grown with and sat in my car. I waved at her one last time before I closed the door. I shoved my key into the ignition and started my car. I let her warm up for a moment before I shifted into drive. I looked in my rearview mirror. Lilith's tears streamed down her face while she waved at me. I bit down on my lip to distract myself from the pain in my chest. I couldn't cry and drive safely. It was too risky. I forced my eyes away from the mirror and began to drive. I watched as the familiar town I had grown to love disappeared behind me. I could feel the pain in my chest, it traveled up to my head, and I couldn't take it. After less than an hour of driving, I pulled over to a rest stop. Everything had come out at once. Tears spilled onto my cheeks as all the memories from my life played in my head. My family and friends were left behind for some dumb and unknown reasons. I screamed in my car, the sound made some people at rest-stop look at my car in confusion. I slammed my hands down on the stirring wheel, my palm had accidentally hit the horn in the process. "f**k," I rested my head on the stirring wheel. I took a moment to collect myself once more. This was going to be the worst school year yet. I didn't want this move to ruin my life, but it had already felt like it had.