The Model Project

Chapter 7

L.J was standing in front of her full body mirror frowning as she bit her lip, her eyes looking at the outfit she wore the day before. The same outfit that made her feel as powerful as all the Greek goddesses combined made her feel like a potato in a dress right at that moment. She woke up early that morning, smiling, thinking that this was going to be the start of something greater for her, and now she feels like she wants to hide in a hole and never crawl back out. She even tried doing a bit of makeup but ended wiping it off since it made her look like she was following a Halloween make up tutorial instead of a smoky eye video. A lot of thoughts were running through her mind at this stage and she regretted even thinking about doing this. She obviously couldn't pull this off, and she shouldn't have thought that she ever could. She met her own eyes in the mirror and cringed, scowling at her reflection.

"Look at you! You don't look good, L.J" She sighs unzipping the skirt, and let it fall to her ankles, stepping out of the hoop of material and pulled on some shorts, and a baggy shirt with sneakers again. This time when she looked in the mirror, she felt like crying at what she saw. Why couldn't she pull off cute or sexy outfits like the other girls? Why did she have to be so different? Why didn't she ever hang out with girls to learn these things? As that thought crossed her mind she scoffed and gave a dark chuckle at herself. She didn't hang out with girls because she wasn't into the things they were and would rather play tag and football with the boys, then try to brush out a barbie's fake plastic hair, dressing her up into cute little outfits so she could find love and live happily ever after. She wanted to slap herself when she asked herself that question knowing that she never will and never did regret hanging out with just guys, because she lives Shane, and Aaron and Cam so much she would literally take a bullet for those guys. She walked out of her room, down the stairs to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, unscrewing the cap taking a sip.

"Hello Lara-Jean" She nearly jumped out of her skin at that voice behind her, spitting out some of her water. She turned around facing her mother, using the back of her hand to wipe the water trailing down her chin.

"Hello mother" She greeted, and her mother nodded, gesturing that she wanted to get to the fridge so L.J moved aside, and her mother opened the fridge standing there for a few seconds before she took the milk out and started preparing her coffee. L.J could see that her mom was tired from the dark circles under her eyes, and the way she was slouching, moving as slow as a three toed sloth.

"Late night at the hospital?" She asked, and her mom nodded pouring the hot, steaming water into the big mug, picking it up after adding milk and taking a small sip, flinching as she burnt her upper lip. L.J looked to the floor, gave a single nod and then turned to the door leaving for school. L.J and her mother hardly ever talk since her mother was a doctor who worked late most nights, and her dad was a lawyer who also hardly ever came home.

"Bye mother" Is all L.J says and then shuts the door behind her, getting in her car, and driving off to school. When she got there the guys were already waiting for her close to the door, where they always did. As she got out, they noticed she was there, but Aaron did not seem happy with her for wearing different clothes then what they planned on. They all walked towards her, well Cam and Shane were walking, but it looked like Aaron was a Zombie running towards her screaming at her. She knew he would be disappointed, but she just didn't feel comfortable in the clothes yet, and she hopes he would understand that. He made it to her, and stopped in front of her, very close to her face. He was fuming, his nostrils flaring, as he glared at her.

"What are you wearing?" He asked, and she sighed.

"Clothes, Aaron" She shot back slightly irritated.

"Yes, I see that, but it's not the clothes you are supposed to be wearing right now" His voice was a bit harsh and she wanted to punch him for that. Why did he want her to wear the clothes so badly?

"I don't care"

"Why not?" He kept pushing her, and finally she snapped, yelling at him as loud as she could.

"Because I didn't feel comfortable enough with myself alright!" He steps back, shocked, and she used that opening to speed walk into the building, and into the bathrooms. She leaned on the granite counter top, and slowly raised her gaze to the mirror again. She scowled again, and suddenly a tear rolled down her cheek. She felt basic, boring, and plain, and she felt like she didn't deserve to be pretty because she felt uncomfortable with herself. Her mother was never there for her to teach her how to use makeup and nail polish, or how to do her hair. Her mother didn't care how her daughter dressed because she didn't care about showing her daughter how to be a girl. That's why she hung out with boys all these years because she didn't know how to fit in with other girls. She didn't know how to braid hair, or gossip about guys, and she definitely didn't know how to flirt with boys. She wiped the tears from her face, and opened the faucet, letting the water run freely, and splashed some onto her face. She exhaled, and inhaled, calming herself down and walked out of the bathroom to her first class of the day.

The entire time she couldn't get Aaron out of her mind. Was he being rude? Was she being to hard on him? She did ask for their help after all and she wanted them to help her, but it felt weird changing things about herself. She wanted to be able to talk to Roy with ease and she wanted to feel good about herself. Well she always did until the boys pointed out what was wrong with her, and then she realized that maybe she shouldn't feel good. When the bell rang to signal the end of the day, she slowly walked to her car, her head in the clouds, not paying attention to everything around her. She kept thinking about this, and if she wanted to do this. When she made her decision, she just so happened to run into the boys in the parking lot.

"What do you guys want?" She asked not in the mood for fighting. Aaron walked up to her holding a piece of white cloth, representing a white flag.

"I want to make peace" He says, and she couldn't help but laugh slightly at his gesture.

"Fine, but if you want me to forgive you, you have to buy me pizza first" She says, and he nods.

"Done" And so they ended up going to buy pizza, the whole fight about the outfit forgotten.