Fated Mates: The Beta

Jocelyn: Chapter Seven

Jocelyn

My head throbbed and I felt insanely sick to my stomach. I took a few deep breaths and groaned, sitting up. I remembered everything, sort of, and felt my face flush with embarrassment.

I stared at the nightstand where I had my phone on the charger, still playing my haunting song. I shut it off and stared at the tiny note I left underneath it, feeling my eyes begin to sting. I grabbed it and opened it, reading my small handwriting on it with all of the guilt of the world on me.

Take care of him.

-J

I crumpled up the tiny note and threw it in the trash where I had a few cans from last night piled over the top. I belched, feeling bile rise up with it and flew off of my bed quickly, running to my bathroom.

I threw up hard, feeling hot in my face and pressure in my back as I heaved roughly in the toilet. There wasn't much to throw up when you hardly eat, so most of it was just liquid and acid.

When I was done throwing up, I walked to the medicine cabinet, looking for my pain killers and then remembered the night before. I looked down at the trashcan by the toilet, spotting the damn empty bottle and sighing.

My head throbbed and I thought about climbing back in bed. Just as I walked into my bedroom, there was a soft knock on the front door and I winced and groaned.

I walked into the living room slowly, holding my head in between my hands to try to stop the pounding and opened the door slowly.

Long arms enveloped me immediately and if I wasn't so f*cked up, I might have yelped, but i didn't have the energy for that. Instead I looked up at the person who invaded my personal space and found myself smiling despite the pain.

"Hey." I croaked, glad that I had brushed my teeth before coming out here.

"Ew. You stink. Like bad." Wes pulled away from me with his nose crinkled. I raised my eyebrows at him and pulled my arm up, sniffing it.

He grinned and shook his head. " Like alcohol."

"He's right. You smell like a damn distillery." Josh griped as he walked in behind him, carting a sweet little cherubic baby in his arms. I peer at him and raise my eyebrows at the large, dark bags under his eyes.

He avoids looking at me, and I wonder if any of it has to do with what happened last night. I press my lips and look at my son and smile.

I reach out for him, but before I can take him, Josh shakes his head.

"Go shower first and then we'll go fro breakfast."

I frown at him. "Okay, let me just give my kid a kiss. Jeez." I press my lips to Wyatt's forehead and he grins and gurgles as me.

I smile at Wes as I head back to my bedroom and turn on my shower.

I don't take too long. Seeing Wyatt back home gave me a little boost and finally seeing Wes has me feeling something other than miserable for once. I don't know what it is, but I'll take it.

I get dressed in a simple long sleeve shirt, jeans and a sweater, then run into Wyatt's room and grab him some warm clothes.

As I walk into the living room, I stop in my tracks. Wes is already wrangling Wyatt into a new diaper and has a set of clothes already next to him. Josh is sitting on my couch, his eyes closed and his head resting on the back of the couch.

"What's up with him?" I ask Wes as I drop the clothes I got Wyatt on the arm of the couch.

Wes shrugs and looks up at me for a few seconds before continuing changing Wyatt.

"What's up with you? I texted you all day yesterday."

I feel guilty as I look away from him and take a deep breath. "I just needed time to myself."

"You were drinking? You never drink."

"I did. Not as much as last night, but I would drink a little every now and then." I shrug, trying to act nonchalant but Wes narrows his eyes.

"Atleast tell me you're not drinking with Wyatt around."

I feel a little offended by that, but let it pass. I would be asking the same questions if it were reversed.

"I'm not. This was the first and only time. I don't...I don't intend to do that again."

Wes nods slowly as he puts Wyatt's shoes on him and then glances up at Josh.

"Hey, are we going to breakfast or are you taking a nap?'

"Dude, chill. I'm going." Josh muttered angrily. He opens his eyes slowly and glares down at the carpet. It's a full one eighty from last night and now I'm beginning to think that this whole breakfast thing is a bad idea

"If you don't want to go, you don't have to. I can take Wyatt and Wes out for something and you can take a nap."

He scowls up at me. "F*ck that. I don't even know if you're sober yet. I'm going."

I raised my eyebrows at him and press my lips together. A surge of anger rips through me and I shake my head.

"If you're going to be an ass you can go." I point at the door and watch Josh raise his eyebrows at me then sighs.

"I'm sorry. I'm...I'm tired. I being a cranky asshole and you don't deserve that. Can we please get some breakfast? And coffee?"

He walks over to me, finally looking directly at me and I chew on the inside of my cheek. Wes is staring at us from the ground, a pleading look on his face.

I nod once and Josh gives me a small smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you." He plants a small kiss on my forehead and I nod.

"I love you too."

"Alright, let's go! I'm starving!" Wes grabss Wyatt up, making him giggle and I smiled at him. Seeing them together again fills my heart in a way it hasn't been filled in a while.

We end up at a small diner that has a resemblance to the one I worked at in Salem. I know that Josh doesn't know about it, but Wes looks at me with his stormy eyes as I stare at the windows of the place, remembering all the times Danny and I had frequented the diner, laughing at eating to our heart's content.

"What?" Josh asks as I continue to stare at it.

"She worked at a diner in Salem."

Josh rubs his hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Joss. Do you want to find a different place?"

I continue to stare and then close my eyes. This isn't my diner. I'm okay. It's not the same place.

I shake my head and open the passenger door.

"I'm good. Let's eat."

Inside, the smells are almost identical as Kurt's that it makes my chest hurt and my eyes sting. I stand in the doorway, feeling people's eyes on me as silently freak out.

Wes takes my arm gently and pulls me to a table near the door. He slides into the booth and makes room for me, setting Wyatt in between us.

I take Wyatt and hold him close. I feel Josh's eyes on me as a waitress comes by and places menus in front of us, talking. It's like I can't even hear her voice. I look up at her and a sense of deja vu hits me as I stare at her blonde hair.

She looks completely different than Melinda, but my brain is...f*cked. I blank out when she asks for my drink order until Josh kicks my leg under the table. I muster up a quick apology and ask for a coffee, just to see if it will clear my head.

"We can go. Just say the word." Josh tells me after she leaves.

I take a deep breath and shake my head, picking up the menu.

"I'm fine." I glanced up at him and for a split second, I see Danny's smiling face with the crinkles in the corners of his eyes. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I can feel my breathing come out in short little bursts and I shake my head. "I'm okay."

"Jocelyn, seriously, it's no big deal. We can go."

"Just let her calm down." Wes says quietly. I stare down at the menu after that and concentrate hard on the words on the menu.

The coffee gets served and I quickly take it, grateful for a distraction. It smells incredible and once I add in my creamer and sugar, the taste helps center me a little bit.

Wyatt plays with a small toy Wes must have brought him and I take another breath. Josh must see that I start coming back to reality and gives me a small smile over his menu.

"So, what did you do after you left the apartment?" I asked him to keep my mind off of being here.

Josh frowned and ignored the question, instead looking through the menu.

"I'm guessing a girl?"

His cheeks turned pink and his jaw ticked. "I went home."

"And f*cked Priscilla."

I smirked at Wes and he shrugged when Josh glared at him.

"What I do in my free time is my own sh*t."

"You mean who you do in your free time." Wes commented. Josh punched his arm and Wes winced. I grinned and shook my head.

"Priscilla, really?"

Josh shrugged and scowled. "I'm done with her anyways." He shrugs. Wes' eyebrows shoot up on his forehead and I watch them.

"Didn't sound like it last night."

"I am." he ground out at him.

"What was she yelling at you when she left?"

Josh's pink cheeks turned a brighter shade of red and he shook his head.

"Drop it, Wes."

"Half hard and didn't finish her off?"

I spit my coffee out and Josh closed his eyes and wiped his face with his hand. "Dude, if you don't shut the f*ck up..."

Wes smirked and I shook my head at him with a small smile.

"I was off my game. But I had a long night, so..." He shrugs and peers at me over his menu for half a second before glancing back down.

My face burns and I look back down at my own menu.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing." I look up at him and shake my head. "He was just upset with me because I got drunk."

"Well...she kind of has good reason." Wes points out. It seemed to me that he was enjoying picking on Josh.

"Yeah, that's not it, pup, but if she wants to tell you, she can. I'm not saying another word."

I roll my eyes and catch Wes looking at me expectantly. I shake my head and sigh. "It was just a tough day. And..." I swallowed hard. "I may have thought of different ways to drown everything out."

Wes' face blanched and he looked down at his menu slowly. "But...you promised."

"I know. Which is why we're all sitting here in this awkward as f*ck conversation."

"See?" He glared at Josh, his cheeks turning a bright pink. "I told you that I needed to be here. I told you that she can't be by herself." He hissed across the table at him.

Josh put his menu down on the table and nodded slowly. "I know. I'm sorry. Can we talk about this later?"

After that, our conversations were stilted and none of us knew exactly what to talk about. But we ate and we pretended to enjoy it. Afterwards, Josh took me home and he and Wes came in with me.

"So, I feel like you're right, Wes."

"I usually am, but about what?"

Josh rolled his eyes at him and sighed. "Maybe...you can come stay every other week here. If Jocelyn likes the idea.

I grinned at Josh and turned to look at Wes who was grinning broadly, holding Wyatt to his cheek.

"F*ck yeah! Starting when?"

"Give her a week to get ready for you and I'll bring you back." He bit his bottom lip excitedly and turned Wyatt to face him.

"Are you going to be my roomie again?"

I laughed lightly at him, watching him hug Wyatt close and when I turned to Josh, he was watching me with a small smile.

"What?"

"You look happy."

"I am." And for once in the last month, I actually was.

When Josh and Wes left, I began picking up all of the cans from my bedroom after putting Wyatt down for a nap and jumped when there was a knock on my front door.

I trashed all of the cans and went to the front door, opening. "Did you forget som-"

I gasped and felt my heart speed up as I stared at the person standing at my front door.

"Hey." He said quietly. I felt my eyes tear up and I closed my eyes.

"F*ck, my mind is so f*cked right now." I whispered to myself.

"How?"

I laughed humorlessly and stared at the red haired man standing in front of me. "Because you're not really here."

"But...I am. Surprise!" Calvin smiled down at me and raised his bushy red eyebrows. He smiled lightly and held his arms open like 'tada'.

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "You're here?"

"Yeah, it's freezing balls out. Can I come in?"