Fated Mates: The Beta

Josh: Chapter Nine

Josh

My whole body was itching. I growled and hunkered lower, glaring at Matt as his eyes bore into my skull, a smirk playing in his lips. We collided and I grabbed him, lifting him before slamming him onto the mat. He grunted but was back on his feet quickly, the smile wiped off of his face completely.

We circled each other, never taking our eyes off of each other, watching every infinitesimal move we each made.

My heart was pumping hard against my ribs and when he finally charged I was ready and met him head on, kicking his leg out from under him and pinning him down on the mat.

He chuffed out a laugh and I sat up on my knees, holding my hand out for him to get up.

"Dude, what are you on? You've taken me down the entire day."

I huffed out a small, humorless laugh and shook my head. "I just have a lot on my mind."

He placed his arms on his knees and looked at me, studying me.

"You want to share?" Thoughts of my redheaded mate filled my head and I winced and shrugged.

"It's Jocelyn." It was an easier topic to speak about. Not saying that it was an easy one, but it was way easier than confiding in him that I found my mate and she wasn't what I expected.

"What about her?"

I swallowed hard and sat back, resting my hands on the mat. My mom didn't know what happened that night and I really didn't know how to tell him about it.

"She tried to kill herself." I looked at his face and watched as his eyes softened and his jaw hardened.

"Sh*t. And you found her or...?"

"No. She couldn't go through with it. But she's struggling and I don't know how to fix it."

Matt took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. He grimaced and shrugged.

"I don't know. I mean, I...there's guilt. I feel guilty as hell for how it affected her. I couldn't imagine witnessing that happen to Elena, but...I had to do it."

I nodded and stared down at the black mat. "I know. Trust me, I do. It just...I wish she was closer to keep a better eye on her."

Matt nodded and sighed. "I know but she can't be too close to the pack. She's human now and people around here still hold resentment for her."

"They're id*ots. She did what anyone else would do in her situation."

"He got a lot of wolves killed. Not just from our pack."

"Look, I know all of this. I'm not trying to argue with you, Matt. I know he did wrong and now he's dead. My sister is suffering and I am trying to be a better big brother, but the distance sucks. And the pup wants to be with her, so I told him he can stay with her for two weeks a month, just to keep an eye on her."

"You think that's a good idea?"

"Well, I would suggest you let Elena talk to her, but we all know how that conversation would end."

Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It wouldn't do any good. She can't see her and talking to her will just make her want to go out and visit her. I can't allow that."

"Why not? I can go with her and watch over her. She'll be safe."

Matt pressed his lips together and shook his head. "You didn't talk to Jocelyn before I took her wolf. She hates me and I have no doubt that she would do anything to hurt me like I hurt her."

I scowled at him. "You think she'd try to hurt Elena?" I could hear the incredulity in my own voice and he grit his teeth.

"I think that she would want revenge. If she thought that it would hurt me to hurt Elena or my girls, then yeah. I think she would do it."

"She's a f*cking human." I growled. "She wouldn't stand a chance against Elena. She couldn't even open a damn pickle jar." I stood up, feeling my anger begin to grow again.

"The answer is still no. Elena and the girls will go nowhere near Jocelyn."

"Whatever, man. You're the Alpha, you call all of the shots. If you want to keep your mate in a bubble, so be it."

Matt growled at me and I began walking away from him before we really started fighting. I showered quickly in the dressing rooms and stalked out. Jocelyn wasn't even half of my issues right now, but I couldn't even tell him the other half. There was no way in hell, especially after this conversation, that he would let me bring my mate here.

I stalk to the Beta quarters and shut myself in my room. I had a sh*t ton of paperwork to get done but all I felt like doing was sulk in my room.

I flopped onto my bed and pulled my phone out and looked at my new obsession.

I had a list of clinics and hospitals all around the bar I went to that night listed from closest to furthest within a ten mile radius of the bar. I hadn't done anything else but stare at the list and calculate the time it would take to visit all of these places to look for my mate.

It would have to wait until I went back to Atlanta on Friday to drop Wes off. I needed to get. bed sent over for him so that he wouldn't have to sleep on her couch. And I had to set some ground rules for him. And give her some extra money so she can feed him and care for him when he's there.

I sigh and run a hand over my face. I sit up and walk over to my computer and begin looking up furniture stores in her area so I can order a bed. Get something done on my long ass list of s**t to be done.

I call the number I find and am put on hold for about twenty minutes before they get to me. I order a twin sized bed for Wes and a small bedside table to be sent by Thursday afternoon. After I get that done, I surf the Internet and order a comforter set for pickup that Jocelyn can go get for him and order her a few groceries myself, since her fridge was pretty bare the last time I was there.

After I get that done, I start going through books and stuff for Wes to work on while he's over there and login to Jocelyn's bank and deposit money into it, so she can get whatever else she needs. She has the money my dad gives her monthly, but with Wes staying over there, I'm sure it's not enough.

I then call her and let her know. At first she's a little angry, but after I explain to her that it's for Wes and it's definitely not charity, she agrees. I also inform her of the groceries she has to pick up along with the bedding for Wes' bed that will arrive on Thursday.

She gets a little excited after that and it makes me feel a little better knowing that she has something to look forward to.

When I'm done with all of Jocelyn's stuff, I begin my paper work and easily get distracted by a map of Atlanta. I mark points on the map and then try to get back to work.

But then I start thinking about how it feels like I'm not doing enough, so I walk out of my bedroom and go and find Wes. Surprisingly, he's not in his room, but instead at the pack house library, poring over a book.

"What are you up to, pup?"

"Stop calling me that. I'm almost fifteen."

"Sorry, my bad. What are you doing?"

He looks up, looking better than he has since Danny's execution. His hair is cut and his eyes no longer have dark bags underneath them.

"I texted Connor for an assignment. He told me to write an essay on the Salem witch trials, since I went to Salem."

"That sounds interesting."

"It is. What's up?"

"I have your bed and stuff ordered for Jocelyn's this weekend. Did you need anything else over there?"

He raises his eyebrows and shrugs. "I just thought I would sleep on the couch."

"Nope. But I have some ground rules that I need you to hear."

He sits up with interest in his eyes and puts his book down. He places his elbows on his knees and raises his eyebrows at me. He looks so much older than the first time I saw him and I feel partially responsible for the pup having to grow up so quickly. I know it wasn't all me, but forcing him to run away again, I feel that some of the trust he had in me has diminished.

"Okay, what are they?"

I take a deep breath, not really having thought them out. "Well, for one, you keep an eye on Jocelyn. She's still struggling a lot and it's the only reason why I'm letting you go over there." And I need you out of my hair so that I can look for my mate. I don't say that part out loud, obviously, but it's there and I feel a little guilty about it.

"Okay, done. I can do that."

"Okay, secondly, I need you to keep your wolf under control. I have no doubt that you know how to do that, but it still needs to be said. No human can ever find out what you are, do you understand?"

He smirked and nodded. "You do know I have lived around humans more than with wolves, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "I still have to warn you. Anything you do out there comes back on this pack and I really don't want to hear any sh*t from Matt."

His smile curdled at the sound of Matt's name and he nodded.

"Got it. Anything else?"

"Call me if you or Jocelyn need anything. She won't do it, so you will have to. Don't let her be stubborn about accepting help."

He nods. "Okay, is that it?"

I nod and put my hands in my sweats. "Yeah. I got you some books and crap for over there for studying and stuff so you can keep up with that too."

"Thanks." He grins and taps his pencil on his book. "I really appreciate that you're letting me go over there."

More guilt floods me because it's more because I'm being selfish and not because I really wanted to. I nod and back out of the library.

"Don't mention it."

I walk back to the Beta office and sit down in my chair. I lean back and glare at all of the paperwork I have to get to and sigh.

Looking for Penelope was going to be the hardest thing I could do. And after I find her, then what? It's not like I could bring her home. It's not like I could even mark her. Or could I?

I got up and decided to go visit the library again. Maybe I could find some material to help me understand my situation. I should have done this so long ago, but I didn't even think about it. I only thought about finding her again.

But I needed to be prepared for when I did find her. I needed to know if our relationship would be possible to maintain. And what would happen in a human/wolf mating.

I walked back into the library and found Wes hunched over a paper. He glanced up at me with his eyebrows raised.

"You forget something?"

"Nope." I went to the shelves of books and began reading the spines of the books. I didn't even know where to begin, but I'd find something. I had to.