BECOMING MY EX's SURROGATE

DELVING MORE INTO THE PLEA

I am still fathoming Liam’s plea, a roller coaster of questions battering my head. I shouldn't be considering this given our past to begin with. I mean, he freaking is my ex! The man I loved with all my heart and everything else in me The same man—I still don’t know what he has aroused in me in the last few hours we've seen each other again. The fact that he is married should be a red flag to me considering doing this. I should have howled a loud ‘no’ the moment this proposition left his mouth.

But I know Liam pretty well. This guy has a gold-coated ego that no one dares touch. Not even him. He doesn’t ask for help unless it's between life and death. For him to beg like this, there must be something big. Something big must be at stake.

But what?

And his wife?

“It is okay if you need time to think, Lynn. I infer that this is an earnest matter. Don’t feel pressured at all.” Liam speaks, breaking the silence that has engulfed even our souls, presumably.

It has been a pure lull between us for what feels like an eternity now—him giving me humble time to digest what he is proposing and me taking forever to digest it.

I heaved out a heavy sigh, scraping my face before speaking.

“Why not have it with your wife? I mean, you two are...”

“Our marriage is a sham, Lynn. Unfortunately, they have banked so much on us that our company will crumble if we break the alignment. I am suffocated by all this, but I have to bear it all. And if I want to secure the future of my family's legacy, I need this baby.” His voice is rich in defeat and pain as he rationalizes his predicaments.

Honestly, I feel for him. He seems terribly weighed down. He sounds so defeated, like he can’t think of any other way out except what he is proposing.

But this is total madness, right? It's absurd! its insanity! I would give the world to be able to help him in any way, but this? What he is asking is too much! What sort of justifiable reason will he even tell the people about this supposed surrogacy? I can’t stand to be accused of being a homewrecker. And it seems there is some darkness clouding his marriage. There seems to be sedate issues between him and his wife if I am not overthinking.

And then again, I know miracles don’t happen so often, but what if they already did? I mean, we just had s*x. Without protection. Raw s*x. What if... wait, hang on right there.

“Liam? Was that the reason why you had s*x with me just now?” I ask with an insufferable rancor in my voice. A huge chunk lands on my throat, and tears start forming as I squeeze my gaze on his lips as he stretches for my hands. He hugs my hands with his warm ones and speaks.

“You know me more than anyone else, Lynn. I know it is selfish of me to ask you to bear me a child. I am embarrassed to ask you this, believe me. But search your heart, Lynn, and tell me the truth. Do you think I am capable of taking advantage of you in that way, especially given your situation?” He queries, searching my eyes, and I let him see through them. Maybe he will see the truth in them about his question.

Damn! I feel terrible about my query. He isn’t such a jerk. He has never been one.

“Then why did you do it?” I curiously implore as our eyes continue browsing each other, my hands still caged in his.

“Don't you like it?”

I presume that was meant to be an inner question, but it slipped out, and now he is banking all his attention on what I have to say. I averted his gaze. The soothing warmth from his arms increases, calling me back. Again, I obey his alluring gesture. He always knew how to perfectly work his way into me. He is still so perfect at it. Too perfect for someone who is supposed to have forgotten me. Sigh!

“That is out of the question, Liam. Let’s not discuss it. I want to know why you did it.” I respond, fixing my blazing eyes on him more intently.

“I found you shivering outside in the cold last night. Drenched in tears, weeping in your sleep, I felt so much pain finding you in such a situation. At least I was able to get you to sleep over the night, but when you woke up, the pain was still so raw in your eyes. I just wanted to make you forget that pain, even for a minute. I am sorry, but that was the only way I could think of.” He responds calmly and with all sincerity.

It’s there in his voice, in his words, and in his eyes, too. What insolence to think of him that way!

But still, he forgot the fact that he was married that fast just to make me happy?

“I am sorry. It’s just that... well, I am not thinking straight. I am actually not thinking.” I whimper apologetically because, hello?

If he wanted to take advantage of me, he could have done it last night when I was half-conscious, right? He didn’t have to wait until the morning when I was awake, duh! What is happening to my thinking capacity?

“It’s okay. I am not offended at all.” He affirms, a small smile flashing across his lips to substantiate his honesty. Then he adds it after a minute. “So, can you help this desperate soul?”

Desperate, huh! It’s funny how you realize you are not the only one with an overflowing basket of problems when you open up to people. Here I am, feeling like a lost, empty soul because I have nothing and no one, yet he, with all the luxuries that surround him, is wallowing in a mystery that his wealth can’t solve. He has it all but is still suffering. This life, though!

“I honestly don’t know what to say, Liam. This is such a serious issue. I am already swimming in my own problems; I don’t want anymore.” I say.

“I promise this will be super smooth. We won’t have any problems, I promise you, Lynn.” He ascertains, but I can’t seem to believe him. I feel like this entails more than he thinks, which opens a whirlwind of sentiments.

“So, does your wife consent to this?” I implore, and that strikes him off guard. He looked down for a minute.

I knew it. Something is so dead somewhere. Wait, aren't you allowed to have kids in this absurd arranged marriage nonsense? Or what exactly is this all about?

“We have a mutual agreement. I promise she will never be a bother.” He says this as he raises his head, drawing me more into confusion.

Mutual agreement? About this, or about a lot of things in general? What kind of marriage do they have, because even the way he is frowning at the mere mention of his wife is baffling?

“Are you okay, Liam? I mean, are you happy in your marriage?” I couldn’t curb my curiosity any longer, but before he could quell my curiosity, an alarming knock on the door jerked me from the comfort of my chair. I spring to my feet. The heck!

A second bang summons Liam to his feet too, strolling to my side with a heavy expression.

Damn! Who the heck is that?

“I will check who it is.” I say, starting my way to the door, but Liam grabs me, pulling me back.

“Stay back. I will see who it..."

The deafening bang of the wooden door breaking down cuts Liam off, and he nudges me to his back in defense as a giant greets our vision at the doorway.