She was Her Desire

The rejection

Stacy and Jess were fine for the next few weeks. They would spend time together every time they were off work, and they both loved it. Scarlet had ignored Jess all this time. She wanted to get over it but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to come between Jess and Stacy, she didn’t want to ruin anyone’s life. As much as she avoided her, she knew that deep down it was hurting her but that was the only way to stay away from her. She was still attracted to her but she chose to keep distance. She would see her around the office but didn’t talk to her. She avoided every other task that involved both of them, however she made sure that no one else found out in the office. Jess would look through the window and she would always see Scarlet but their eyes never met.

Jess was glad that maybe Scarlet had decided to put it all behind them. But she still felt bad that they were no longer talking like they used to before. She had felt a special kind of connection with her but then there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She hoped that they would all forget about that and put it behind their lives. After all, it had only made things complicated. And she was so much in love with Stacy. Jess was staring at Scarlet through the window when her computer beeped. She looked to see a notification popping at the right bottom corner of her computer screen. It was a memo from the HR calling everyone for an evening party at the office. They always had these once the company reported big sales or celebrating some kind anniversary. At HO, they always had something to celebrate every other week. Jess reached out for her phone, she wanted to text her girlfriend that she might be late from work that day.

Jess continued working on the new website she had been onto all day. She waited until everyone was gathering in the conference room. The tables were set with the executives sitting at the far end corner. Slow music was playing in the background and the catering staff were serving drinks for everyone. She went to the table with the IT department, at least where everyone quiet and about their business. She hated socializing with people at work. She wouldn’t go to the marketing department where Scarlet was sitting. They kept exchanging glances, making the whole party awkward for Jess. Were it not for her boss, she would have left the party earlier. She wouldn’t have stayed. Hours passed and it was time for the top officials to talk to the employees. Music died in the air and everyone was looking at the Vice President. He thanked everyone for their participation and announced that the company had the best year reporting 90% profit and having signed 10, 0000 properties. The VP said that the remaining twenty work days of the year presented an opportunity to sign a thousand more properties. After a few addresses by other company officials, people resumed to drinking. Jess sitting at the front row sipping from the can of beer while holding out her phone scrolling though social media. She was all alone until Scarlet walked up to her.

“Going through i********: at a party, who are we stalking?” She asked jokingly.

“Um, no one. Just watching beautiful humans living life” Jess replied locking her phone screen. She put her phone away and turned around to face Scarlet.

“Oh well, you shouldn’t be doing that at this time. Learn to let go and have fun, it is important.” Scarlet said, holding out her hand for Jess.

“It’s so pathetic my anti-social tendencies being so obvious.” Jess said as she stood up and followed Scarlet to the center of the room where people were dancing.

“Um, I don’t really dance.” She said out loudly now that the music was loud and everyone was tipsy, noisy and unruly.

“I don’t either but we are sure going to rock on this floor.” Scarlet said, taking all the remaining liquid from her wine glass at once.

Scarlet dragged Jess to the floor and they started dancing. Scarlet wanted Jess to let go that night and just have fun. She always enjoyed her company anyways. The two ladies danced for a couple of minutes before Scarlet left to the washrooms. Jess didn’t know what to do but after a few minutes, she decided to check on Scarlet in the washrooms. She walked hurriedly to the washrooms and looked in the cubicles. Before she opened the third cubicle, she heard groans from the inside.

“Uhm, Scar, are you okay? She asked.

“Yeah, am alright. I just hate drinking.” She said, chuckling.

“I take it that you’re throwing up?” Jess said.

“Close enough, don’t come in, don’t look at me.” Scarlet said when Jess tried her way in.

“Come on, don’t you think we’re past that?” Jess said as she pushed the door to find Scarlet kneeling next to the toilet. She was really struggling to keep balance, and Jess had not seen that coming.

“I didn’t think you were this drunk. We need to get you home.” Jess said as she reached for some napkins and wiped the vomit off Scarlet who was not very drunk. She helped her out of the washroom and decide to pick a cab that would take her home and later drop Jess off at hers. On the way, Scarlet was all over Jess, exploring her body and playing with her hair. Jess had struggled to stop her all the way until they got to Scarlet’s apartment. The cab driver helped her get her into the house and they laid her on the couch.

“You must really love her to take care of her this much you know.” He said as he watched Jess cover Scarlet before they left the apartment.

“Umh, not really, she’s my workmate and she kind of got wasted too early today.” Jess said to the cab driver.

“Oh well, you’re a good friend nevertheless.” He said as he drove off down the street to Jess’ place. He dropped her off and drove away after she handed him a twenty dollar note.

Jess walked to her studio apartment which seemed dimly lit from the window. She knew that Stacy would be home, waiting up for her. She knocked on the door and she heard her girlfriend that she had not locked the door. She opened and there she was, Stacy seemed to have been waiting for her all evening. She was glad that she left the party early, after all, she hated being around too many people. And she was not a heavy drinker either.

“Baby, you’re home.” Stacy said, smiling coyly at Jess. Jess knew that there had to be something her girlfriend was up to any time she was this cheeky.

She pulled out her boots and walked to Stacy, who was standing there, covered in a white robe. She had been waiting for Jess all evening, she was always happy to see her but that night she was way too excited. She had been thinking about her all day, who she was with ad what she was doing. Stacy hated the feeling of insecurity but she couldn’t help but feel challenged after everything that had happened. She had been afraid to ask whether Jess really cheated on her with Scarlet but she didn’t have the strength to deal with it. Instead, she had preferred to think that Jess still loved her, that Jess was not falling out of love with her. She had wanted to believe that what they shared, even though flawed, was true and real, and that no one would come between them. She wanted to be everything for Jess, she didn’t care whether she was going crazy or obsessing over her girlfriend but she felt threatened. She loved her life with Jess, it is where she found peace and the love that satisfied her and for that, she was going to protect her territory in all ways she could.

“Why aren’t you drunk babe?” Stacy asked, every time there was an office party, Jess usually came home way too tipsy.

“I didn’t drink much today and I didn’t touch the wine.” Jess said, planting a kiss on Stacy’s war lips.

“Oh well, that’s okay. You hungry?” Stacy asked. This always made Jess fall in love with her more than before.

“There’s food? Hell yeah, I want some.” Jess said, tickling her girlfriend who ran over to the kitchen, and Jess followed.

Jess had always loved coming tome to Stacy, she loved what they shared. Eating with her, watching TV with her and basically everything. Stacy helped Jess serve a plate of rice and some chicken she had prepared herself.

“Mmh, looks like I am going to have one of the best nights ever. I love a great home cooked meal.” Jess said, grinning at Stacy.

“I know you do. And there’s nothing wrong with having a great night, is there?” Stacy said as they walked to the table and slow music, barely audible was playing. Stacy reached out to pick up a piece of chicken from Jess’ plate.

“You want some?” Jess asked.

“What, you don’t want to share?” Stacy asked, smiling at her girlfriend.

“I didn’t say that.” Jess said, chuckling.

“By now you should know that your food is our food. I must have a bite of your food no matter how full I am. I don’t know how not to.” Stacy replied.

Jess looked at her and she smiled back. She stared at her and she noticed how happy she made her. She wanted to let her know that she was glad to have her in her life. She couldn’t choose anyone else in the word to share life with.

“Babe, why are you staring at me?” Stacy asked after she had noticed Jess looking at her for a couple of minutes.

“Nothing, is it so wrong to stare at my girlfriend?” Jess said. She wanted to brush the topic off but she knew that Stacy wouldn’t let it go easy.

“I didn’t say it is wrong. I just want to know what was going through your mind while you stared at me.” Stay said.

“Oh, that’s a lot to ask. A lot of things do go through my mind whenever I am with you.” Jess replied.

“Like what kind of thoughts baby?” Stacy insisted.

“I think about how beautiful you are, how lucky I am to have you loving m every day and most of all, I don’t see myself without you.” Jess said, looking Stacy in the eyes. She really meant everything she said at that moment.

“Oh my God, now am all mushy and you know.” Stacy said.

“And what my love?” Jess asked. She really wanted Stacy to finish her statement. She was the strongest woman she ever knew.

“And I am so much in love with you but I can’t help but think that you like someone else too much.” Stacy finally managed to say.

Jess put her plate away and held Stacy in her arms. She didn’t know how to assure her that she only had eyes for her. She just hugged her tightly and felt her shirt soaking from Stacy’s tears. She had never known her to crying out her emotions. She knew that she was hurting, in one way or the other. She pulled her up and continued to hug her until she wasn’t sobbing anymore.

“Baby don’t cry please. It’s okay, you don’t have to feel that way because I am all yours” Jess said, reassuringly.

Stacy just nodded and hardened her cling on her. She loved the way her girlfriend was vulnerable with her. She looked into her eyes and kissed her on the lips. She kissed her back tenderly, which made Jess weak. She cupped her face in her palms and explored her mouth with her tongue. They kissed deeply, standing in the middle of the room before Stacy dragged Jess towards the bed.

“Damn!” Jess murmured.