She was Her Desire

Scarlet Falls in Love

Jess was glad that Stacy chose to overlook whatever happened at Scarlet’s. She was at peace but then again, she wanted to check on Scarlet. She knew it would be easier and better to keep off but she wanted to know exactly what she had meant earlier. They walked back to the apartment, a little tipsy but happy. They laughed all the way home and Jess hoped that they would be that happy. She hoped that her encounter with Scarlet would remain buried. Stacy was glad to have her girlfriend back. She had been thinking about Jess and Scarlet and hoped that there was nothing between them. She wanted to believe that Jess was not attracted to her, but for some reason, she could not keep the thought off her mind. She watched Jess as she slept calmly. She is beautiful, she said to herself. She loved how Jess held her even in her sleep, she owned a part of her. She later fell asleep next to Jess after placing a kiss on her forehead.

Jess had switched off her phone the other night before she met up with Stacy for dinner. She had avoided any kind of distractions. She woke up on that Saturday morning feeling relieved. She switched on her phone and wore her new headphone. She was going for a run and as usual, she wanted to listen to her playlist. She put the phone in her pocket and set off for her morning run. She could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket but decided to check it when she was taking a break. One of her favourite songs was playing and it reminded her the night at Scarlet’s.

I left my girl back home,

I don’t love her no more…

She loved The Weeknd and Wicked Games was one of her favourite songs. She remembered that it had played in the background when she was making love to Scarlet, although she had barely listened to the song. That night’s events started to recur in her head. She could almost hear Scarlet’s moaning, she ran faster. She was getting dirty thoughts of her, she didn’t want things to flow into that direction. If anything, she wanted to forget everything about that night. She stopped at the spark to take a sip of water from her bottle. She decided to check her phone and that’s when her heart almost stopped. Scarlet had been calling and left her text messages;

The first message read: ‘Hi, sorry about what I said earlier. I can’t stop thinking of you.’

Jess read the messages while frowning her face. A part of her was excited that Scarlet had been pleased but another part of her feared that Stacy would find out. She never had passwords to access her phone after all she had always been faithful and transparent.

The second message read:

‘Am sorry about all this, I know you didn’t tell her about us’

This made Jess freeze, she knew that everything was going to be jeopardized, including her job. She wanted to make it up to Scarlet, she wanted to let her know that as much they shared some kind of connection, she was still in love with Stacy. She didn’t want to hurt her feelings however. She decided to go to her place on the way back to the apartment. She put her headphones back on and started running back. She was scared that Scarlet was not going to understand her and this was all her fault. She regretted having slept with her, or even running off to her house. If she had been patient enough to listen to Stacy, she couldn’t have been in that position. She knocked on Scarlet’s apartment and waited for her to open up. Jess heard the steps coming towards the door and she wiped the seat from her face using the sleeve of her shirt. She didn’t know what to say but she knew they would come up with a solution. She hoped that Scarlet would listen to her.

“Hey babe,” Scarlet said while she opened the door to see Jess standing there. She was happy that she had chosen to come see her in person. “Come on in.” She said, smiling at Jess.

“I think we need to talk.” Jess said as she stepped into the house.

“Come sit, let’s talk. I am sure we can come up with some kind of agreement.” Scarlet said as she brought out a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen.

“Uh, wait, what do you mean an arrangement?” Jess asked. If anything, she wasn’t ready for any kind of arrangement with anyone.

“So you think it was a mistake, I mean you and I?” Scarlet said.

“It’s not like that but we shouldn’t have.” Jess was saying when she handed her a glass of whiskey. “I don’t think I want to be drinking at this time.” Jess interjected.

“It’s just a glass.” Scarlet insisted, making sure that she was convincing enough to make Jess take the glass in her hands.

“We’re going to have a lot of fun together.” Scarlet said after chugging all the whiskey down her throat. Jess was still holding hers but Scarlet gave her a reassuring look and she also galloped the drink and put the glass on the coffee table.

“I am sorry about everything…” She was saying when Scarlet approached her and sat on her lap. Jess was astonished by her actions. She pushed her aside and rose up.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jess said.

“So what, you thought you were going to sleep with me and then go running back to you little life with her?” Scarlet shouted. Jess knew that this was going to mess up her entire life. She hated herself for involving herself with Scarlet.

“What do you want Scar?” She asked softly.

“What I want? I don’t need your love Jess, it is clear all your love is for Stacy.” Scarlet said bitterly. “All I wanted is your affection Jess, just that.” She continued.

Jess didn’t know whether she was just drunk or a little crazy. That was just a one-time thing and she had not expected Scarlet to be the way she was now. She had always been a composed person who seemed to know exactly what she wanted. This version of her scared Jess, she wanted to understand what she meant.

“I am lost Scarlet.” She said, “I don’t understand what you mean.” Jess added.

Scarlet, who was now sitting next to Jess, her chin leaning on Jess’ shoulder. She had expected the reaction from her. She had fallen in love with her since the first day she saw her in the office. She loved her confidence, and the fact that she had liked her back. She had felt the same and had hoped that it would grow into something more. The first time she noticed that Jess had a girlfriend, she had been genuinely happy but then she was unable to get her off her mind. She had wanted her for herself but she had known that it would be wrong to break them up. However, she had made peace with the fact that she was already with someone else, but that was brushed off by the interest Jess had given her. She had said that she liked her, but she never planned to leave her girlfriend. Scarlet had seen both of them in town and when she was visiting her. They were a happy couple. She had not meant to do this but how could Jess do that to her? All she did was be a good host. One thing led to another and they slept together. She had expected her to stay and make breakfast. After all her girlfriend was allegedly cheating on her and she had thought that Jess deserved better. She had never been into anyone, to some point she thought that she was obsessed with her. She didn’t want it to be toxic but it was too late.

“You don’t have to be lost at all babe.” She said.

“Why are you calling me that? Are you okay Scar?” Jess asked.

“I love you, that’s what is wrong with me.” Scarlet said, almost shouting at Jess.

Jess stood up and walked to the opposite chair. She hadn’t expected things to escalate that first. If at all she was in love with her, what would she do about it? The fact was that she didn’t want to see her hurting like she was at that moment but she couldn’t walk up to her and comfort her. She didn’t know how to. She just sat there and looked at her as she sobbed loudly.

“Come on, you don’t have to cry. Can we talk?” Jess said, trying her best to calm her down.

“Talk about what babe? You’re already in love with your girlfriend and I don’t know if she knows how lucky she is to have you.” She explained.

If anything, Jess was not innocent. She felt bad for deceiving Stacy. She would never be okay with lying to Stacy. She had never been able to lie to anyone all her life and she knew she was going to tell her the truth sooner or later. She just didn’t want her to leave and she wasn’t sure if they would survive that. She didn’t think that they would walk past that, past her infidelity.

“I don’t know what to say but I didn’t think that you’d be in love with me” Jess finally managed to say.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Scarlet asked.

“I am just saying I didn’t know that it was that deep.” Jess said.

“I know Jess I know. I shouldn’t have liked you this much. I wasn’t supposed to even like a girl but there is something about you.” Scarlet was saying, tears falling down her cheeks.

“Come on, don’t beat yourself up for liking someone. I am sorry for leading you on.” Jess said. She had always been guilty of that. She shouldn’t have moved that fast and she shouldn’t have gotten involved in all this.

“I have to go, Stacy must be wondering where I am. I am so sorry Scar.” Jess said as she walked out of the apartment. She didn’t know what to do now that she had Scarlet obsessing over her. She wanted her life back, her life with Stacy. She missed the dinners and breakfast they shared every Wednesday, they had a cam life and she had loved it.

She ran back to the house and Stacy had left the house. She had texted Jess that she was going to work that Saturday. Jess wondered what to do for the day, she decided to watch the football match she had missed but Stacy had recorded it in the DVR. One of the reasons why Jess loved living with her girlfriend, she always remembered the things that mattered to her. She settled on the couch and started watching while going through her social media. For a moment she felt like she had her old life back.

That evening, she decided to make dinner for her and her girlfriend. She wanted to surprise her, after all she had been treating her bad. It was the least she could do. Jess was not an excellent cook but she sure knew how to prepare basic meals. She went to the kitchen and got out some chicken drumsticks from the fridge and prepared Stacy’s favourite nuggets. Within two hours, dinner was ready and Stacy would be home soon. Jess went back to the couch and continued watching her game. Stacy came back home at around 8PM and Jess had already set the table. She had also ordered her favourite bottle of wine and a bouquet of white tulips. The table was beautiful in the candle lit room. Stacy was amazed as they shared dinner, laughing and back to the normal happy couple they were.