She was Her Desire

New Office, New Life

Sitting at her desk in the new office, Jess could feel a sense of relief. She had been struggling to get a stable job since her contract ended a month ago. She had hated her previous job but had to do it since she didn’t have a choice. She remembered the events that led to her accepting a job offer at St. John’s College in New York City. It wasn’t the kind of job she yearned for but she had to survive it all. Having been brought up in the hood, watching her mother go through rough time just to provide basics for her was hard enough. She wanted to be the best, she wanted to give her everything her mom wished for but unfortunately she had passed on right after she completed her diploma, which she had struggled with while working part-time.

“Hello,” Scarlet said, startling Jess and bringing her back from her thoughts.

“Umh, hi...” Jess said, “Sorry, I was a little lost in my own thoughts, did you say something?”

“Actually, I did.” Scarlet said. “Are you okay?

“Yeah, pretty much. I was just thinking about something. How are you?” Jess responded.

“Mmmh...I am okay.” Scarlet said as she settled on her desk, right behind Jess’.

“Yeah, you are more than okay.” Jess thought, almost saying it out loud.

Jess opened her computer and started working, so did Scarlet. She wouldn’t stop thinking about Scarlet however. She was so beautiful,she could see her from the reflection of the computer screen. She knew she had to concentrate on securing her new job, she was prepared to do anything to keep it.

Her last job sucked, she would work for about 12 straight hours and still take home peanuts. She barely made enough to pay her bills, which had led her to look for a roommate, Jeff. She was hoping that she would do great at the new company. Jeff was a tall, blond guy, and had been friends with Jess for years. There was one difference between the two however, Jess hated partying and socializing with people but Jeff wouldn’t shut up even for a minute but for some reason she loved him. However, she knew she would have to move closer to her workplace if it all worked out.

Jess was a warm individual, easy to relate with but a little hard to understand. Sometimes she couldn't figure herself out either. She was always reserved unless she was with someone who she felt free to talk to, which in most cases she had no one. She had learned how to do it all by herself since she was a kid. When her father had abandoned her and her mother, all alone in a small town village, she made it all the way.

Jess' mother had despised the way her daughter dressed, acted and believed in. She was a staunch Christian and strict. She had forced Jess to church every Sunday even though Jess hated it. Jess had grew up a tomboy and still was. This made her mom mad and she disapproved of her behaviors. She had made it difficult for her to come out although many guessed and despised her sexuality. She had never been with a man all her life, she was so into ladies.

“What is wrong with you, can't you dress like a lady?” She recalled her mother yelling at her when she was thirteen.

“Mom, stop with that. I am just being myself and you are always complaining about it.” Jess had said to her angry mother.

“This is not you, I don't know who you've been hanging out with but it has to stop.” Her mother had said.

Jess had not changed her mode of dressing despite her mother buying her dresses and forcing her to church. She was only discovering herself and did what she had to do. At the age of seventeen, she moved out of her mother’s house following unending complaints about her actions and not attending church service every Sunday. It was then that she knew she had to do it on her own. An underage paying her own bills and still manage to go to college was the hardest thing she had to do. Luckily for Jess, she secured a job as an English tutor, which helped her save for college before she moved to the city.

“Why are you dressed like a boy?” was the question everyone asked her everywhere she went.

“Are you gay?” people just would not stop bugging her.

At this point, she clenched her fists and jaws, she was angry. Why was it so hard for people to mind their own business? Being gay or not, was that the only way to define a person? She clenched her fists so hard that it hurt. Scarlet had been watching her for a few minutes and wondered why she was frowning.

“What are you that angry at?” Scarlet asked, putting on a worried face.

“Umh, nothing, I am alright.”Jess said as she turned back to her computer.

Scarlet could see the anger and sadness written all over Jess’ face. She was concerned and at the same time a little disappointed that Jess could not let her in. Maybe it was just too early, she said to herself as she walked out of the office to get coffee.

Jess felt the need to let Scarlet in but she did not have the strength to. She didn’t want her to see her flaws, at least not so soon. Instead, she composed herself through out the day but she couldn’t stop thinking about her haunted past. She needed to leave that behind, she needed to start afresh and this time, probably the last time she would need to start all over again. She had no idea what she had been living for, until she met her girlfriend, Stacy, a few months back. It had not been love at first sight but she had fallen for her in a short period of time. They were now together and she supported her decisions, stood by her even when she had nothing.

Jess and Stacy had met through an online dating site and Stacy had liked Jess and so had she. Both of them later decided to meet up. Jess was working the night they met. She had decided to carry work home, and she was almost done with the last bunch of emails when her phone buzzed. Her date was there, standing right after the cafe’s entrance, she stood there in her white dress. She was even more beautiful in person. Jess had waved to her and she came, wearing a wide smile, with her lipstick making her smile even more beautiful. Jess stood up in awe as Stacy walked towards her. Jess looked at her admiring the figure in front of her.

“Hey,” Stacy had said to Jess. Who was still staring at her in awe.

“Hello, please sit” Jess said, pulling a chair for her date. For once in her life she was interested in someone. She had always been a loner, at least for the most of her life and yet here she was trying to meet new people. She had been single for almost three years now.

“Do you want to order something?” Jess asked, trying to avoid Stacy’s eye contact.

“Yeah, sure.” Stacy said and Jess waved fr their waiter.

“Can I have some fries and burger? You may also bring me a glass of sparkling water.|” Stacy ordered.

“ I think I will go with fries and soda.” Jess added to the order.

“So Stacy, you look amazing, the most beautiful girl in this room cafe...And I looked.” Jess said, putting a wide smile on her face.

“Mmmh...Jess, you're funny, attractive and you took me to an evening date at a nice cafe, should I profess love?” Stacy asked and smiled coyly to Jess.

“Oh come on, when you want to impress a fine lady, you’ve got to be outstanding don’t you think?” Jess said, staring at Stacy in the eye now.

For a moment there was silence, awkward silence but the waiter arrived with their order. All through their dinner date, the two girls seemed to like each other.

“Do you want to go back to my place?” Jess asked after they were finished with their dinner.

“Umh..really? Isn’t it too early for that?” Stacy asked, not sure if she wanted to go with her or not.

“No, not really. I just really like your company, you know.” Jess said, reaching out for Stacy's hand. “Okay, you are convincing.” Stacy said and the two girls left the cafe, holding each other's hands.

****************************************************************

At Jess’ house, Stacy settled on the leather couch as Jess went to the bathroom. Her studio apartment was spacious and well lighted. It sort of represented who Jess was, from the lighting, the green wallpaper and the kitchen was modern. Stacy loved the apartment.

“How long have you lived in this apartment?” Stacy asked.

“It should be three years now, why?” Jess answered from the bathroom.

“Nothing really, it just feels like you from the choice of the colours and everything. It is a nice place.” Stacy said as she went to the kitchenette to get some water.

Jess really liked Stacy but there was something missing. She thought it was just the beginning. Maye whatever she was looking for would develop with time. She was used to the fast moving hook ups but it was not what she was looking for at that moment. She was more into a long-lasting relationship, more mature kind of a relationship.

“So what do you like to watch?” Jess asked, holding the remote to her screen. “If I remember correctly, you are into pop music,right?” Jess added.

“Correct.” Stacy said as she sat on the couch next to Jess.

Time passed by as the two ladies talked about movies, past experiences and life in general. Stacy was humble, kind and quite impressive with her achievements. Jess still felt like she hadn’t done enough with her life. She was obsessed with the desire to achieve more.

“But given what you’ve been through, I think you’re doing quite alright.” Stacy said, rubbing her arm. “No I am sleepy and I have work tomorrow.”Jess said to Stacy, who also seemed tired.

“You can take my bed, I will take the couch myself.” Jess said, pointing at her bed.

“Don’t be sill]y, your bed is big enough for the two of us. Don’t worry, I am not a s****l predator” Stacy said, letting out a soft laugh.

“Oh, come on, even if you were, I’d definitely let you prey on me.” Jess said.

For a moment there as awkward silence again. This time the two ladies stared at each other, there was tension between them. Neither of them was able to withdraw from the stare. Jess could read the want in Stacy’s eyes. She wanted her as well. She wanted to kiss her, hold her and make love to her. She had wanted this since they started talking but she wasn't sure if it was right to do it before she got to know her much better. All her past relationships had started off as hook ups and she was changing. She didn’t want to continue with the pattern, she wanted different, a connection before getting all entangled in a situation. She was fighting the need to pull her towards her and kiss her soft lips.

“Why are you fighting it Jess, I want you too.” Stacy said as she realized that she was fighting it. “Or maybe I am mistaken, maybe you don't want me as much as I do.” she added as she turned and walked into the bathroom.

Jess did not want her to think that she wasn't into her, all she wanted is a great thing going on for her. She wanted this to be a little special in so many ways, she was looking for someone to share life with, to fill the void in her heart. She wanted to fall in love.

“Are you okay?” Stacy asked. She had come back from the bathroom and noticed Jess was lost in her own thoughts. She tapped her on the shoulder and she turned back. Again their eyes met and this time Jess was unable to control herself. She wanted her and there was no way she was going to stop herself. She put her palm on Stacy's right cheek and lent forward and pressed her lips against hers. Stacy had been waiting for this moment, she felt Jess’ lips on hers and her whole body trembled. The two kissed passionately, for a moment they were both lost in ecstasy, the beauty of finding another soul with mutual understanding. This was not what Jess had planned for the night, she wanted company but it led to this. She couldn’t think straight with the soft lips against hers. Stacy put her arms around Jess and she held her by the waist and led her to bed. Jess traced her hands to the dress zipper and unzipped it. They were still kissing, Stacy’s tongue exploring Jess’. She felt her dress fall onto her shoulders. She had started something she wouldn’t stop, she had to do this, her body yearned for this. Jess broke away from the kiss and pulled Stacy’s dress down. She had an amazing body, a body that lit a fire in her soul, she wanted her for herself now, she was sure of it. Dressed in a red lace bra and a matching pair of panties only, Stacy pulled Jess’ shirt up, helping her out of it. She was in a black sports bra and khaki shorts now. Her firm body turned Stacy on more, she could feel herself get aroused even more, she was sure she had made a wet spot on her panties.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jess asked Stacy. In no way did she want to offend her.

Instead of answering her, Stacy pulled Jess to her, both ladies landed on the bed. Stacy could feel the silk bed sheets against her body as Jess settled on her. They resumed the kiss but this time it was faster, a little aggressive and their breaths became heavier. Jess took Stacy's left n****e in her mouth and bit it gently. Stacy let out a moan, which seemed to turn Jess on. Her left hand working on her right breast. Jess trailed kisses on Stacy’s torso until she reached her crotch. For a minute, Jess stared at Stacy, who had her eyes closed by now. She bit her womanhood gently through the panties, Stacy let out a moan, this time louder. Jess could feel the scent of her p***y, she pulled down Stacy's panties and run her tongue through her slit as she watched her arch her back in excitement, with her eyes closed.