Married to the CEO, Desired by the Billionaire

BELLA POV I wished I’d never fallen in love with Rhys Miller. Especially when my son looked me dead in the eye this morning, asked where his father was, and when I didn’t answer, poured his juice all over his clean shirt. On purpose. It was Sunday morning. I had three hours before I needed to leave. Three hours before I had to get back in my car and drive two hours to the city and pretend this part of my life didn’t exist. Liam stood in the middle of the kitchen dripping orange juice. His face was red. His hands were shaking. Seven years old and he already knew how to hurt me. “Liam.” My voice came out tired. I was so tired. I wished he would come around. “Why would you do that?” “Because.” He said it like that was enough of an answer. I grabbed the dish towel off the counter. Moved toward him. He took a step back. “Let me help you change.” “No.” “You’re covered in juice.” “I don’t care.” Lily was at the table. She wasn’t eating, just staring at her bowl of cereal like she was trying to disappear into it. Her hair hung in her face. She hadn’t said a word all morning. I knew what this was about. It was the same thing it was always about. I knelt down so I was eye level with Liam. Tried to sound calm even though my throat felt tight. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?” “You know what’s wrong.” His voice broke and I saw tears starting. “You won’t tell us about our dad.” There it was. The question he’d been asking since he was old enough to notice other kids had fathers and he didn’t. For years I’d been making excuses. Your dad is far away. Your dad can’t be here right now. Your dad loves you but things are complicated. All lies. And he was starting to figure that out. “Baby, I told you. It’s not that simple.” “Yes it is.” He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Getting juice everywhere. “Just tell us where he is.” “I can’t.” “Why not?” Because your father walked out on me in front of hundreds of people and I never saw him again. Because he destroyed me and I can’t let him do the same thing to you. Because if people finds out you exist my whole might falls apart. I couldn’t say any of that. So I said nothing. Liam’s face crumpled. “You never tell us anything. You just leave all the time and we don’t know why and now you won’t even tell us about our dad and I hate it. I hate it.” Each word felt like a punch. I reached for him but he jerked away from me. “Don’t.” “Liam, please.” “Just go.” He was crying harder now. “You’re going to leave anyway. You always do.” I looked at Lily. She was still staring at her cereal but her hands were gripping the edge of the table. Her knuckles were white. “Lily.” I said her name softly. “Look at me.” She didn’t move. “Lily, honey. Please.” Finally she lifted her head. Her eyes were wet but she wasn’t crying yet. She was holding it in. Always holding everything in. “Do you even love us?” The question came out so quiet I almost didn’t hear it. But I did. And it knocked the air out of my lungs. I stood up fast. Went to her. Pulled her chair back and dropped to my knees in front of her. “What? Of course I love you. How can you ask me that?” She looked down. Wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Then why do you always leave?” My chest hurt. Actually hurt like something was squeezing it. “I have to work. You know I have to work.” “Other moms don’t leave.” Her voice was still, so small. “Sarah’s mom is home every day. And Jacob’s mom picks him up from school. But you’re never here.” “I know. I know and I’m so sorry but I can’t…” I stopped because what was I supposed to say? I couldn’t explain it to them. They were seven. They wouldn’t understand. I wasn’t sure I understood anymore either. Liam was still standing there dripping juice and crying and now Lily was crying too and I was the reason. I was always the reason. “I love you both so much.” My voice cracked. “More than anything. You have to believe that.” Lily finally looked at me. “Then stay.” Two words. So simple. So impossible. I wanted to. God I wanted to stay so badly it made me ache. I wanted to wake up with them every morning and make them breakfast and take them to school and be there when they came home. I wanted to be a real mother instead of whatever this was. But I couldn’t. Because if I stayed someone would see us. Someone would ask questions. Someone would figure out who their father was and everything I’d worked for would be gone. My job. My life. My safety. All of it. “I can’t, baby.” The words tasted like poison. “I have to go back today.” “Today?” Liam’s head snapped up. “But you just got here.” “I know. I’m sorry. I have work tomorrow and I need to prepare and…” “You’re lying.” He said it so matter of fact. Like he’d figured something out. “You don’t want to be here.” “That’s not true.” “Yes it is. You like your other life better. The one without us.” “Liam, that is not…” “I hate you.” He screamed it. Loud enough that I flinched. “I hate you and I wish you weren’t our mom.” The words hit me like glass. Sharp and cutting and impossible to take back. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say to that? Mrs. Chen appeared in the doorway. She must have heard everything but her face didn’t show it. She just stood there calm and patient like she always was. “Let me help Liam get cleaned up,” she said. Gentle but firm. “You should probably get ready to leave if you want to miss the traffic.” Right. Traffic. My excuse for everything. I stood up. My legs felt shaky. I looked at Lily but she turned her face away. Looked at Liam but he was staring at the floor. I grabbed my purse from the couch. My keys. My phone. All the pieces of my other life. “I’ll call you tonight,” I said to no one in particular. “Like I always do.” No one answered. Mrs. Chen walked me to the door. Stepped outside with me onto the porch. “They’re just upset,” she said quietly. “They’ll calm down after you leave.” I nodded but I didn’t believe her. They were upset because I kept leaving. Because I kept choosing my secret over them. I got in my car. Started the engine. Through the kitchen window I could see Lily still at the table. Liam was gone. Probably upstairs with Mrs. Chen trying to get him into clean clothes. Neither of them came to say goodbye. I backed out of the driveway. The street was empty like it always was. This town was so small nobody paid attention to anything. That’s why I picked it. The highway stretched out in front of me. Two hours back to the city. Back to my apartment where I lived alone. Back to the life I’d built on lies. I glanced in the rearview mirror one last time before turning onto the main road. Lily was pressed against the kitchen window. Her small hands flat against the glass. She wasn’t crying. Wasn’t waving. Just staring at me with those hazel eyes that looked too much like mine. Watching me leave again. My foot hesitated on the gas pedal. For a second I thought about turning around. Going back and staying. But I didn’t. I kept driving and her face got smaller in the mirror until I couldn’t see her anymore. I wondered how many more times they’d watch me leave before they stopped waiting for me to come back.