Indebted To A Genie

I'm about to die. And I'm okay with it. "Larae Dorothy Bree! How long will you keep this atittude up?! You're dying!" Dr. Therese Hemsworth, a cardiologist slammed her hand on top of her desk as she looks at me with disbelief. I just smiled at her like what I always do before standing up and took my bag. Dr. Therese also stood up and tried to block my way. She's insisting that I should take a surgery. And I'm also not giving her answers ever since. "Dr. Therese I need to go. I have work" I calmly told her and I tried to walk the other way but she also went, refusing me to pass through. "Not until you agree with me to take the surgery" she's really determined to operate my failing heart. I look at my watch and my eyes widened after seeing the time. I'm late! "Don't ever think about leaving this office without me hearing that simple 'yes', Larae Dorothy" Dr. Therese warned. I'm not threatened but I really need to leave. "Okay okay! Yes! I'll take it next month" I exclaimed. Her eyes squinted. "Next week!" No!  "Fine" I lied. She finally lets me pass through so I hurriedly went to her office' door and ran outside. "Larae Dorothy!" her voice roared in the hallway from her office, probably because I ran. I shouldn't run but I have a job to chase. If I arrived there late, again, they'll reduce my pay. And that's the least thing I want to happen. I'm sorry, Dr. Therese. Dr. Therese is one of my few friends and I met her when were still on the streets. Me and my brother helped her look for her house when she just moved in this town. She got lost and asked us for directions. Apparently, she became close to us and even offered us food and shelter for a year before my brother and I could buy our own apartment. My name is Larae Dorothy Bree. 21 and still a freshman in college. A working student. I have, like, 3 part-time jobs to do every week. Well, I need money. Not for the surgery, but for my younger brother and also supposed to be for my education. Our parents died because of a plane crash leaving me to take care of my brother. I was eight at that time and my brother is three. We lived in the streets for years before I became accepted to do part time jobs. Our poor and unhealthy lifestyle is probably the reason why I became sick. Glad I take good care more of my brother than myself so I'm the only one who got sick. And basically I just started college but it seems like I have to quit already. If I'm gonna die early, might as well spend my remaining life saving money so that my brother won't have a hard time to get by when I'm gone. I didn't have a hard time accepting that sad truth like most of the people did. Because its like I'm already expecting it. Its not that because I have no more reasons to live. Its because I'm so tired of living already. I've been working hard, so hard, ever since I was eight until now. And all that I wish is an eternal rest. Is that being way too selfish? "Wow!" Rocky Wilston, my workmate in this coffeehouse I'm working, greeted me in surprise. "I'm..." I look at my watch then to him, "Two minutes early!" I explained. "Yeah, you must be proud" he replied with sarcasm. I just giggled and went to change my clothes. As soon as I changed into my working outfit, I begin to take orders since its my job in here. Taking and delivering orders. This coffeehouse I'm working is famous in this town so we have a lot of costumers almost everyday. And were always busy. Regular workers such as Rocky has a higher pay than mine because I'm not a regular worker. I only work here from 7 to 12 pm since I have to take classes. That's every 1 pm to 7 pm. Then from school, I go to work as a cashier, in a convenience store and I'll return home at 12 midnight. When do I sleep? Maybe 3-5 in the morning since I need to have time doing school works. If I get unlucky, I only sleep for an hour because I also need to wake up early to prepare for Lance's breakfast, lunch and dinner. "Miss Bree, are you sure about this?" the dean asked for the second time while looking at my drop out letter. I bite my lower lip before answering, "I'm sorry, sir. But I really need to" "It will be a shame if you drop out so suddenly before the second semester, Miss Bree. You have a great future ahead of you. I can see it. You're a hard-working student. I can't seem to determine why you're suddenly dropping out. Especially that you just entered college. Can you enlighten me?" "I'm really sorry sir" the dean looks quite disappointed at me but I can't help it. "Okay then" he finally puts down the letter on his desk and sighed, "It seems you already have made your decision. Is there really no more chance for me to change it, Miss Bree?" I sadly nodded. He sighed again. "I'm really sorry again, sir" I closed the door behind me as I leave the dean's office. I feel bad for dropping out so suddenly, of course. But I really thought about this decision carefully. I ain't just acting out. I'm dying and all I want to do is to save money for Lance, my younger brother. And school will only just get in the way. "Here goes the street girl" I heard one of the student loudly whispered to her friend as I walk through the hallway. I know they were referring to me. I've been labeled as the 'street girl' when one of my blockmates posted my pictures with my brother in the school's website for students, it was when were still living in the street. And since then I've been bullied for the way I live.  I did not dare to fight them because I think it's pointless and more tiring. I'm very tired already. And my life is already ruined since the day my parents died so what do they still want with me? "I heard she's dropping out" another students said. "Really? Oh, what a shame" another, replied sarcastically then I heard them laugh. I did not bother to look at them for I am busy taking out my belongings from my locker. I just realized I don't have that much of school stuffs or things that I put in my locker. Only some books that I borrowed in the library and forgot to return, some crumpled papers, not working pens and some litters of candies are in here. And oh, an old picture of my parents. I almost forgot I still have this. I kept all the pictures we had with our parents in a jar and buried it in the ground for Lance can't help but cry hard everytime he sees them. I remember I kept this last one for myself so that I wouldn't forget what they looked like. The jar was buried at the backyard of our old house. I wonder if its still there. I should tell Lance to visit the house sometimes when he gets older. And also, I should probably tell him to try look for the jar of pictures when he's ready. But first, I should go and attend my duty in the convenience store after I finished returning the locker key and the books I borrowed in the library. Since I already dropped out, maybe I could get an additional pay for adding my work time in the convenience store. I wish I could just be a regular in the coffeeshop but their slots were actually full so I don't have a choice. I don't mind working at the convenience store more. "THAT TOOK YOU THREE MONTHS AND A HALF TO RETURN THOSE BOOKS, MISS LARAE DOROTHY BREE!" I almost covered my ears because of the librarian's loud voice. As soon as I handed the books to the student assistant, the librarian saw me and dragged me not so far from the library to scold me. And here we are. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Vals! I was so busy I forgot" I tried to say sorry but... "THEN YOU SHOULD WROTE IN THE BORROWERS LIST THAT YOU WILL RETURN THOSE BOOKS AFTER YOU'RE DONE BEING BUSY, HUH?" "I'm so--" "ENOUGH WITH THE SORRY. YOU CAN'T BORROW FROM THE LIBRARY AGAIN. LAST TIME YOU WROTE A WEEK BUT YOU RETURNED IT AFTER A MONTH. I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH AN IRRESPONSIBLE CHILD"  And with that, she marched back to the library without even accepting my apologies. That's the strict and loud librarian for you. I'm so used to her rugged atittude. Most of the students in here were already scolded by her. And I get to see it almost everyday. One time she was featured to a confession in the school's f*******: page, the secret files, entitled 'How can a lady with a strident voice became a librarian?' I never read the confession yet because I don't really browse the internet much. But I heard it trended because it was a funny confession. Well, being scolded by the librarian isn't too bad for my last memory in this institution, is it? "Oh, Larae?" Klare, the owner of the convenience store I'm working in as a cashier, asked when I arrived earlier than the expected time. "Hi" I waved at her. She stood and examined me from head to toe. "Did you cut class?" she asked again, wondering. Well, I have my school backpack on so I can't blame her. "Did you?" she asked again. I shooked my head. "I already dropped out of school" "What?!" her eyes widened, "What the hell, Larae Dorothy?!" she thought I was joking but I'm not. "Why?" now she seemed concerned. I didn't answer immediately because a costumer suddenly came to pay. She warned me to stay where I am with her eyes before she attend to the costumer. I just laughed and waited for her to finish. Klare Skewels is 28 year old and still single. She had twenty-two ex-boyfriends but she broke up with all of them every two months because of a, kind of stupid rule she set for herself. She said she'll only marry the guy who will be her 69th boyfriend. She's crazy, yes. But she always makes me laugh with her craziness. "Now spill" I blinked twice just to be sure that Klare really closed the shop, just to hear me explain. "Klare its only 3 in the afternoon!" I told her. "So what? I'm the owner" she is so okay with it. "You don't really need to do this. Seriously" "Chill your a*s! Just tell me what happened already" she crossed her arms while looking at me impatiently. I bit my lower lip. I never told her that I have a heart failure let alone telling her I'm dying! "I'm waiting, Larae" "Okay okay! Damn, why are you all so impatient today?" I put my bag down and sat across her to the two-chaired costumer table. She handed me a bottle of cold water. I sighed. Well, she's also like a family to me so I think she also deserves to know. "I... My heart is already failing" I began. I saw her brows furrowed and then suddenly, she laughed. "Ahh, you've got your heart broken? Ahahahaha" I facepalmed, "No! My heart is literally failing! I never had a boyfriend why would my heart be broken?" She stopped laughing when she just realized what I said. So I continued, "My heart is failing and if I don't get a surgery, I might die" "b***h shut up!" she stood from the chair and grabbed my arms, "Let's go and get you a surgery immediately" "What? No!" I took my arm from her. She looked at me, wide eyed. "Is that the reason why you've been feeling tired easily? Which I thought your pregnant? But I thought you can't be pregnant for a long time!" "Y-You noticed?" I asked too thats almost a whisper. "Of course! Why wouldn't I? But..." she sat back down again, "Are you sure? You're not joking right? I mean you can't joke about dying. Larae, I'm telling you..." there's a hint of warning in her voice. "Its true" I said in a low voice. I opened my bag and took the all doctor's prescriptions of medicines I've been collecting ever since. Klare took it from me before I could even give it to her. "This is a lot of medicines. You're buying all of this ever since, without even asking me to increase your pay?!" she now sounds angry. I bit my lower lip, "I... couldn't buy all of it of course haha" I tried to turned it into a joke but Klare just glared at me. "And now you're dying! Larae I thought were friends?!" my eyes widened when suddenly Klare burst into tears.  "You are my friend!" I went to her to give her a hug. She cries like a kid even when she's already twenty-eight. Few more years and she's out of the calendar. I can't believe I'm friends with someone like this. "Klare, I should be the one crying here" I jokingly told her when she's still not stopping. "You should go and take the surgery!.... W-Why are you still here?" Her question made me stop. Can I tell her? Is it okay to tell her I don't plan to take a surgery? That I don't want to be healed anymore? That I'm so tired of living and I want them to be happy with my decision? Can I tell Dr. Therese that? Can I tell Klare that? Can I tell... Lance that? Will they understand? "Klare--" she slapped my hand away from her. "Go home. For now. I want you to rest" she sniffed while wiping her tears to dry. "But--" "I'll fill your duty for tonight. That's my decision. I want you to rest and think all about this carefully, Larae" she sniffed again and look at me with puffy eyes. "Klare, I'm alright! You don't need to--" she hold both my hands and looks at me directly. "Listen, Larae, I know you" she began, "Your a damn fighter. You've been alone, taking care of your brother ever since your parents died. You lived in the streets but still managed to survive. You even went to a good school and your brother, because of your hardwork. You've been doing all that by yourself without complaints! You've been my friend, and you always listen to all my rants about my damn exes yet I never heard you talking about your problems with me. I still need to force you for me to know!" she breathed. "And now you're dying? Don't tell me you're giving up. Fighters don't give up!" she bursted into tears again. I let out a heavy sigh and comforted Klare until she's okay. Then I went home. My mind is contemplating whether to tell Lance about it or not. Lance is already seventeen and responsible. He can fix broken sinks, he can clean and he can cook. Sometimes he would just tell me to sit and rest and he'll do the house chores on his own. He's bigger than me now. But I still see him as the tiny brother he used to be, who always cries whenever I'm not by his side. I feel like Lance will understand though. He'll be hurt but he'll understand. "You're early" Speaking of Lance, he's in front of our apartment's door, sweats dripping on his face and neck, hair is messy and his polo is unbuttoned showing his white sleeveless shirt inside. His bag is still clinging on his right shoulder. It seems like he just got home. I looked at the time and realized it is already five in the evening. He's usual class dismissal is 4:30. His highschool is just near so I'm also quite wondering why he just got home. "Do you usually arrive around this time?" instead of answering him first, I asked. "Yeah. I'm with Matt" Matt is his friend. So I guessed they've playing ball or something before he goes home. "How about you? You're early" he restated while opening the door with his own duplicate key. I went it first before answering him. "Well, something came up..." Our apartment is small but enough for the two us. Once you came in you can already see the living room and the kitchen. Theres only one room which we used to sleep together, but ever since Lance went in highschool, he insisted to sleep on the sofa. He said he's already a big boy. That quite saddened me but I can't really do anything about it. He's also growing that if he sleeps on the bedroom's bed, his feet is already beyond it. And he said its uncomfortable but I know he's just scared of the monster under the bed I used to tell him when he's four. I put down my bag on the only sofa we have and tiredly sat beside it. "What came up?" he's eager to know why I came home early. I can't blame him for that, because I'm always home late. So this is news to him. "I've visited Dr. Therese" I began. He sat on the floor, still with his uniform on and faced me. Ready to listen to what I'm about to say. He's like this. "You know I've always been a weak person, really. And I never went for checkups before even though Dr. Therese insists. But today I went because I've been feeling nauseous and very dizzy lately. Its also harder for me to breathe while I work. So I went to ask for medicines..." I stopped when I felt like crying when Lance haven't said anything yet and just listening. I hemmed so that my voice won't c***k. I don't want to cry yet so I tried my best to hold my tears. "And... Dr. Therese said, I have a--" "Heart failure" my eyes widened when Lance cutted me off. "Congestive heart failure, yes. H-How did you know?"  He stood up like as if he already knew about before I could. But instead of answering my question he asked, "And an open heart surgery can help you live longer right?" "Lance" I stood up too. Shocked. How did he know? He sighed, "You know your sick but you keep working. Me as your brother would be concerned, of course. I've been searching the net all the symptoms you showed and it all resulted that you might have a heart failure" He went to the kitchen and opened our second-hand refrigerator to get a drink. I went with him. "How long have you been keeping it to yourself?" I asked. "Quite a while now" he put the empty bottle to the sink and stayed there. "You'll take the surgery right?" he then asked. "I..." I gulped, "Lance I c-can't" "Why? I can help you save money. I can stop school if I needed to" his expression quickly changed from being okay to being scared. I think he already knows too. He knows I don't want to get better. He knows I'm giving up.  "Lance I'm sorry. I'm sorry but I-I don't want to live anymore..." there. I said it and I can't hold my tears anymore. Lance can't help but to tear up too. And it pains me to think he knew about it all along but he kept it to himself just to let me live and decide for myself. "I don't want to let you go, still. But I also don't want to be selfish anymore" I hugged him while crying. We stayed like that for I don't know how long until theres no more tears left to cry.  "Don't stop school. Make sure you graduate" I whispered in a very thick voice because of crying. Then it happened. I felt a severe discomfort in the center of my chest. It feels like someone is crushing it into pieces--I can't breathe. Before I lose my consciousness, the last thing I see was, my neighbors and Lance trying to lift me up. And then a complete black.