Changed - The Soul-Bound Cataclysms

ONE Kendall I opened my eyes, well one eye anyway,  Just to start!  Then both. I woke to new and unfamiliar surroundings.  The diamanté nightshade swayed in the breeze from the window I left slightly ajar,  I needed to breathe! There’s half-empty boxes littering the corner of the tiny room. My room back home is twice the size of this rabbit hutch! The new room is Beige… Fucking beige…  the blandest colour ever! I was used to waking in the comfort and warmth of my rose gold and cream room I left behind.  It was girly and sophisticated, “Just like me!” I announced, to no one. I swung my legs out of the bed.  I was depressed, looking at the dreary room. My new bedroom! Ugh! I showered and dressed. Blue is today’s colour of choice.  That’s exactly how I’m feeling. Blue! Blue is the colour of cold, sadness. I’d tried to shake the feelings away.  Suck it up and deal with the changes. I’m a mature seventeen year old you know! But man I could throw a paddy if I wanted to,  I am Seventeen after all.  I’m obstinate too,  it’s a blessing and a curse.  Abi had some epic meltdowns back home In Holden. Thinking of Abi brought the blue feeling back in my heart. I swallow down the ball-sized lump of pain that gathers in my throat,  My only friend lately! I look in the mirror, I presume the previous tenants had left when they moved on from this dreary and bland beige house. I hope they found colour at least! I opt for skinny dark blue jeans, a cami the colour of a cloudless sky and a navy blazer. White converse finish my look. I gather my long dark chestnut, cherry brown hair in a ponytail. Apply a thin layer of mascara and some gloss to my lips. A Spritz of my fave perfume - Daisy by Marc Jacobs.  It reminds me of the twins.  Abi - fresh, Toni - floral. Ah, there you are again Mr Lumpy!  I swallow him. Staring at my reflection,  I had to make sure I was at least presentable.  I may feel and dress Blue today but by God, I’m gonna make sure I rocked the look. Perfect!  I leave my new sanctuary, to join my family for breakfast.  A ritual we had done since forever,  probably the only time of the day we are all together in a room.  I take another glance at the neutral bedroom.  Deciding there and then it’s getting decorated.  ASAP! “ Hey Pumpkin. Sleep okay?”  My dad inquired as I walked into the kitchen. He’s looking directly at me, waiting for an answer. Keep waiting pal! I sit at the table. he rolls his eyes and turns back to his cooking. Geoff I know my daughter isn’t happy with me. With the move. She had made her feelings on the subject abundantly clear the day I told the kids the news.  And every day since. Six weeks to be exact. She had wailed, screamed and sobbed. That was the hardest to see,  the tears streaming from her beautiful emerald eyes,  that darkened, Hunter green,  with her sadness.  I hate hurting her!  Any of them! But I knew no matter what how much she rebuked the move  they were leaving Holden City  and returning home.  My home. I couldn’t turn down the Doctors Position at Rossiter General.  The benefits far outweigh the negative.  But the memory of her sweet, innocent face when I told them we were leaving  will be etched on my heart forever. The pain that was in her green eyes, Unforgettable! Unbearable! All three were sat, staring at me, jaws on the floor. I could feel the devastation exude from Kendall. I’m sorry baby. I hate I’m the cause of that look on your face right now! I flayed myself, internally. I needed a fresh start. They needed a fresh start.  We had to try and reconnect and be a family again.  I have to make it up to them,  what I put them through! This is the only way I can see how we achieve that.  Veronica was the first to move.  Wrapping her arms around me squeezing me. “ This is so exciting, daddy!  I’m going to start packing my room right now”  She squealed as she unwrapped her arms from my neck  and skipped to the door. Aww, Roni, you melt my heart. My youngest, she’s thirteen.  Loves me dearly.  I feel it from her every single day.  She makes coming home from a fifteen-hour shift bearable,  especially these last few months. Always there with a smile on her round, youthful face.  Eager to ask me about my day, and work,  handing me a bottle of my preferred bottle of Bud out the fridge.  I know I don’t have to worry about her.  Looking at Kendall,  with that look on her face,  Devastation! A different story altogether.  I shake the memory. I can handle Kennys silent treatment,  Even though it's a punch in the gut every time. Seeing the sadness in her vivid and deep green eyes of hers. Knowing I put it there. Fucking heartbreaking! She’s wearing some gorgeous shades of blue. I know exactly what that means. Leave her alone,  her colour screamed at me. I loved how creative she is,  her expression. She speaks her feelings through colour and clothes. “Eggs? Bacon?” I ask my sullen child. No answer. Shocker! Sighing, I sit across the table from her. I grasp her hand in mine. She recoils from me OUCH! “Ken, hun…. I know this is hard for you. But we had to. You have to understand. The job.  The Security, you three!  I couldn’t turn it down” I plead  I need her to see that I’m not doing any of this to hurt them. The opposite in fact! I had this conversation with her on a daily basis. And I’ll continue trying. Until she gets it... She looks at me, her lips pursed, Ready to speak. . . . That’s it, sweet child! Talk to me. Talk! I’m anticipating her words. Eager to end this stand-off between us.  “Ignore her daddy!  She likes to make everything about her!” Roni bounded in and joined us for breakfast. To start a brand new day. “Just eggs for me please, Dad. I have butterflies.” Roni giggles at me. I’m so happy she’s so easy to please. “Blue! Good choice K! Really proving your point there sis!”  Roni mocked her sister. I eye her. Not.Today! “Get. Lost. Freak!” Kendall hisses her words, Muttering “brat” under her breath. Thirteen, and full of sass and attitude, That's my Roni. She didn’t seem to have a care in the world. This fills my heart.  Roni digs into her food I’d handed her. Surprised that Kendall has picked up her fork. She's eating my food! Progress! She’s thawing. Slightly. KENDALL I finished the dishes from breakfast. A natural impulse for me.  I’d been doing it as far back as I can remember. Probably since the day The b***h decided to walk out. Never returned. The b***h! I couldn’t help my mind wandering, Thinking of what I’m putting my dad through. Making him feel as bad as I know he is. But I couldn’t stop myself sometimes. I can’t help feeling this way. I am a teenager!  I have a life, a home, friends. Back in Holden.  My whole life is there!  That is where MY home is! Not here! I know daddy hated it there. He’d only stuck it all these years he had, for us. Too many memories of Her!  The b***h! Even in her abandonment, The b***h,  still found a way into my life.  It’s the only name I deem her worthy of. The b***h! I’d taken up the chore of housekeeping. My older brother Joel, he ran it basically. Getting us girls to school, lunches, homework… He was the one I went to when my period started.  I thought I was dying! I s**t you not! Ha! Joel was nine almost ten, I was seven and Roni, two, When The b***h, left. Roni was the most adorable baby I had ever laid eyes on. All soft and squishy. How anyone can walk away from that face is beyond me! We obviously weren’t enough for her. The b***h! My dad had tried his best for us. He worked in the busiest hospital this side of The Thames. Holden Hospital. He loved us. Did my dad. that I can stake my life on. He never went a day without telling us, Whether to our faces or through text. I have a thread of I Love You’s from him, on my iPhone. Stored in its memory. My memory. It couldn’t have been easy for him. Your wife walking out on, Not just you, But you’re three young children too!  She just f****d off one day! Said she had to go to a*****e, Needed ingredients to play with. “Creating her magic” she would call her experiments.  she just f****d off.  Never to be seen again! The b***h! I knew my dad was right. Of course he is! The job offer was too good for him to turn down. It was in a smaller hospital, Rossiter General. And hopefully it meant more time to spend at home With us. His family. More importantly, it is better for his health. I never want to see him the way he was 7 months ago. Fried! Mental exhaustion they diagnosed him with. I call it  Losing the fuckin plot! I loved my dad with all my being. He was my constant. Always there, no matter what.  For us all. even when we pushed him away. he pulled us further in. we weren't allowed to spiral and float for too long. he always comes to our rescue. my Superman! He is a good looking man too. I’ve watched him age over the years,  Stress taking a toll on him. but he wears it well.  he's like cheese, a decent one. with the mould. better with age. Geoff Waterstone, my dad, my hero. He’s 5 11”, dark dark hair and deep brown eyes. He’s rugged and manly. Although a little weathered. He’s funny too, So god damn blunt! I know that he’s where I get my sarcasm and quick wit from. We bounce off each other.  I am my father's daughter. It’s been so hard not talking to him. it's taken everything in me to stick my ground. I wasn't happy! It’s also where I got my love of music from too. We would spend hours together, Lost in lyrics, stories and feelings. It was a shared passion. Finding new songs to share with each other. I remember the first song he ever told me to  “Lie back.  Close your eyes.  let the music take you away” Guns and Roses- November Rain. Just thinking of the song gives me chills! That guitar! My dad is a music genius! My Music Man! watching him completely check out. from life, work, his family. had damn near killed me he stopped looking after himself, drinking way too much, and not the bottles of Bud he enjoys after a long shift. This was the top-shelf spirit. normally rum. Morgans Spice, to be pedantic. He had spent ten days in the Facility. refusing to see any of us. ashamed his brain had deceived him. my dad is recovering, quickly, At least I like to believe he is. for his mental health and wellbeing, This is the only choice for her family. I know that…. I just don't have to like it. I hated that I had to leave my life in Holden.  I have amazing friends there. it's beautiful and rural. green and airy. it fills your lungs with its freshness. and it's where Abi and Toni are, my sisters from another mister! Twins! but joined with me, we amassed the moniker of “The Trinity” Thinking of them made my heart hurt. ah .. there you are.  my new companion. I can't help the sad twitch that plays on my lips. The lump is back! my lump! I swallow him back down.  Why does it have to hurt this much?  Why do I have to feel so alone now?  "Thanks sweetheart" my dad smiled and nodded at the now clean dishes. He knew I cleaned when feeling emotional,  not that He complained.  One less job for him to do.   He's already dressed for his day at the hospital.  He looks at both us girls, his girls.  "Are you ready?"  Roni smiles from ear to ear, giddy with excitement,  clapping her hands together,  "hell yes!"  She squealed tumbling to the door to get to dad's car.   " Kendall, everything will work out.  You will settle and who knows you may even enjoy yourself here. " my dad kisses me on the cheek as I stand,  defeated,  and headed towards her very own personal Hell. The new girl. At  Crenshaw College. ZANE I couldn't sleep.  This restless feeling had been with me now for a couple of weeks. What is it? What are you trying to make me see? I pleaded with my over alert mind,  Sirens in there.  Like they are trying to warn me of something. What though? I need to find out so I can succumb to slumber. My body ached, against the exhaustion. Knowing it needed to rest. My senses had been on top form too.  Fully aware and heightened. That roadkill on the motorway f*****g reeks! I'd finished everything I planned to do. Done the bars wages,  next week's rota.  Boring menial tasks to knock me out hopefully! I Ordered stock.  Even got me a discount on a new non-alcoholic beer. Perfect for the student clientele I have at Dolly’s. I did not discriminate against age. Cant help when you're born,  As long as you were over 16 you could enter my prized position,  Dollys Bar and Cafe! I didn't break the law though,  all under eighteen were stamped and refused alcohol without ID. It is my livelihood after all! It worked for everyone.  Dolly’s was the place to meet up. I'm trying to keep busy, distracting myself, From what though?  That is the million-dollar question! If you know the answer, email me, ha! I was organised, I liked things done a certain way. No... the proper way. Tidy home tidy mind or whatever it is that the proverb says. I had my set ways, always had.  I needed to.  To protect myself,  my home,  my brother. It had been this way for many many years. I was the cautious and level headed of the two us,  Avery was the hot head! He just didn't give a s**t about anyone else but himself!  Had been that way since the day I found him.  I dread to think where that crazy bastard would be if he hadn't shown up at my rented studio apartment,  just before I found The Estate. I'm glad he did right enough, the place was in dire need of his talents.  He had worked wonders with the place.  He had it finished in just over three months.  Avery had a talent in creating the beautiful from nothing. I'd enjoyed helping in the renovations with him.  A team project.  I saw Avery fall in love with The Estate as much as I did during our time building it together.  So it was the right and natural decision to share my new home with my brother. Well kinda brother. I had spent years avoiding Ave and Eleonor.  I was Still broken from Allisons death. They didn't understand how much I loved that girl.  Expected me to just carry on like she never existed. Impossible! They'd know if they knew what true love felt like,  had felt it in their cold cold hearts themselves.  My whole world was turned upside down,  the day I crossed paths with Allison Corey. The day it rained down fire. I can't stop myself from going back to that day. It was hot and humid.  The air feels close and warm to breathe. It was July, early evening.  Just after seven pm. The sky was a beautiful shade of violet and peach,  sunset in Arizona is breathtaking. It made the sand streets glow a dusty orange. I'm on my way to meet Avery, at the local saloon The world-famous sultana bar.  Honestly, that's its name. Everywhere around here has funny names. Id just left our home,  Eleonor is entertaining some hoity-toity suits, she's after more land! Always striving for more, ambitious is our E! There's a huge explosion above my head. What the…. I scanned the area, eyes darting left and right. Black! And then…  across the dusty street, Bathed in the arid glow of the sunset. She stood.  Mouth wide.  Fear colouring her face. Allison Corey…. She is looking at the sky, wild-eyed. It erupts, as more explosions follow. Balls of flames spanned the violet hazy sky,  as far as my eyes could see. And trust me, that is far! Allison cries,  ripping my focus away from the rains of fire lashing upon us.  I run and grasp her,  taking her deep into a side road and an old abandoned hut. I can feel her trembling in my arms,  as I place her down. “Steady, Miss Allison.  You are not hurt.  Just scared”  I'm using the most soothing tone that I have in my repertoire.  I take off my blazer and wrap it around her slender shoulders. Sparks fly in the small hut,  as well as the fire falling from the skies. We watched the meteors hit the ground around us,  in silence.  she still clung to me,  but not in fear now. No … in awe. I watched her,  watching her world being invaded by space rocks.  And all i could think of was the fire burning through me.  I knew Allison Corey was meant for me.  I just knew it.