Revenge

•  News Flash : A body was found in a hotel located in a secluded area of Koteshwor chowk. Police investigation suggests that the murder have been done by the same  killer that killed two people within 2 years both being male. The same pattern of killing. The same pattern of leaving red roses in the mouth of the victim’s body. The same pattern of heart sign in the wall near the body.   • The police has no suspect and no lead on the killer. The victim lived alone in the room. Neighbor didn’t saw anyone coming or leaving the room. No any other fingerprint’s were found.  •  I am sipping coffee from my coffee mug watching early morning news. After the news, I closes the TV with a little hint of  smile in my face. I am Kiara, 35 years old and I live all alone in my beautiful not too big not too small home in Kathmandu city, capital of Nepal. I have my own non-profit organization as I didn’t liked to be bossed around by others at least not at my work place.  • As I was heading to my work, I saw the area where the incident had happened last night. I saw that on television and now there are so many people gathered around in the motel. It astonished me why people wants to see a body and wants to go near the crime scene. I don’t think it would be easy to watch a murder scene which happened near you. Who is to say that you might be next? Just stick your nose on your own business, idiots. •Why people want each other? Because they don’t want to be all alone and feel lonely and sad and depressed. They want a company who can makes them happy, who can makes them feel less miserable. Oh believe me, those people still are miserable. Do you know why? Yup that’s right  “Expectation”. They expect someone to love them. They expect to be loved with same passion as   they do. And if that didn’t happen they became miserable again.I used to live with my mom but she always insist and put pressure on me to get married, which I didn’t want to do. The whole idea of marriage scared me to my core.  The pressure of obeying the rules. The responsibilities and expectations of people towards her scared me.  And there are more and more reasons not to give yourself to others, not to expect, not to be expected, not to relay on others for own happiness.  And if you didn’t do as you were supposed to do, they hurt you, they leave you all alone. So I feel like if they are already leaving, then why waste time and love for them.  And I know that my love doesn’t know any boundaries. And even they leave me, I am going to love them no matter what. I left my parents house when I was around 20.  My parents always wanted me to be that perfect daughter who always follows their parents footstep. I had to do whatever they want me to do, whether I liked it or not.  But I wanted to be alone, left alone. I knew if I stayed there too long, they would have married me with someone they choose not someone I loved. I didn’t want that.  So I left. But I occasionally came home for the festivals mainly Dashain and Tihar. FLASHBACK •  My little sister was born when I was 3 years. I wanted a little brother. But I got a sister. I was so happy to see my little tiny sister with the little hands and legs. My mother was unconscious as it was a surgery. I didn’t know that everything was going to change after my little sister. I had no idea that all the attention I had will be given to my sister now. •  I went home leaving my sister in the hospital because they had to put the baby and the mother in observation for at least 3days. I came back home with her grandmother. •  After I left, the nurse discharged them within 24-30 hours. •  They bring the new baby home and I was so excited to play with her tiny sister. When my mother, father and my little sister came home, I ran as fast as she could to see them. But my grandmother didn’t let me touch them immediately. •  I didn’t understand why my grandmother was not letting me touch my own sister. After all she was my sister. But I didn’t ask any questions. My grandmother then sprinkles some water on them and they came in. •  My mother was feeding the baby her milk and the little one, she looked so peaceful and her eyes were closed. I wanted to play with her but mom said, “You can play with her after she awakes because it’s her nap time now.” I got sad again.  But after some hours, my little sister started crying and mom came rushing to the room and fed her again. I wondered why she gets hungry too much.  And after sometimes, I get to play with her and I started poking the little sister nose. I held her little hand and leg and started playing and hugging her.  I loved how soft and tiny she was. It feels so good and peaceful.  END OF THE FLASHBACK • I wanted to know more about the serial killer cases. So I contact an old friend of mine, Gina, who works with the police. Luckily, she is investigating the case as a lead police. So I asked her to meet so we can chat a little bit.   • I was into the serial killer stuffs when I was about 23 years old. I don’t remember how it started but I used to watch a lot of killings and serial killings. • I was fascinated how the serial killers have no remorse and guilt of their deeds. Its like they enjoyed watching the people die in front of them begging for help. It sound creepy and disturbing I know but its fascinating as well.   • I used to think that f I ever had a chance to become a killer, will I ever do that- hurt people, kill them? Will I ever be like them? • Maybe, I always knew some day I will be one of them. Those who is not scared or afraid to kill others. Those who enjoys killing people and have a kick in their  suppliant  and pleading of letting them go.  • Maybe that’s the reason I liked killing those men. And I didn’t even feel bad or even guilty, not even a little bit. I liked, no I loved the fear of death they had in their eyes.  •Their lives were in my hand. I was the controller of their life. It feels good. Because a long time ago, they were the men who controlled my life, my happiness.  • Those were the men who hurt me beyond imagination. And do you know the sad part of the story?  •They were the ones who made me think that I was the one who hurt them. That I was the one with the problem. That I was not good enough for them.