Fire & Shadow - Forbidden Love

Why did it have to be him? Of all the men, and Zhira had to agree that, admittedly, there weren’t many of them employed at the Temple of Dancing Light, why did it have to be Rhyode? The one man who made her feel uneasy in her own skin? Zhira tugged at her horse's saddle for the hundredth time, making sure that it was sitting correctly. She rolled up the sleeves of her simple gray dress and made sure that her cloak, the same bland colour, was fastened in the center of her chest. Her hands shook and she didn’t dare look at the man who was adjusting the straps of their bags, attaching them to his own saddle. He was efficient, barely ever spoke to her, yet whenever he’d walked past in the last two years since arriving at the Temple, her heart had skipped her beat and her stomach had performed an unwelcome flutter. But then it had been a bad day. A really bad day. A day that she wished had never happened. Had she made a mistake? Zhira had woken in the morning, in her plain and simple bedroom and decided to tell the High Priestess about a dream she kept having, one that wouldn’t stop. The meeting hadn’t gone as she’d expected, and now she was being sent away. To the north of the country to the Spire to pass a message to the King. It was a dangerous journey and in her twenty years she’d barely stepped outside the high stone walls around the temple. But still, she would rather ride alone than with Rhyode. No matter what the dangers were. It couldn’t be worse than spending weeks with the man she’d fallen hopelessly in love with, a man who barely looked in her direction. Love wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It wasn’t like this in any of the books she’d read under the covers in the middle of the night. Illicit books, snuck in by the cooks and shared with the young ladies who had no family beyond the temple. ‘Are you ready?’ His voice was low. No, she thought and met his gaze. Behind him the sky was a pale and icy blue, the courtyard outside the stables touched with the first frost of winter. Shimmering as though some magic had danced across the gray stone. Everything in the Temple was gray. Except Rhyode. He wore black, always and without exception, and for some reason, the High Priestess allowed it. It had barely been an hour since breakfast and here she was, her entire life packed into a bag and attached to a small brown horse with large white splodges. Or was it a white horse with brown marks? Zhira wasn’t sure, but although she knew the basics of riding and saddling up, she wasn’t looking forward to weeks in the saddle. Which was strange, because her whole life she’d been eager to ride beyond the Temple and see the world. This was her chance, and she felt sick, anxious and as though she was about to ride into the mouth of a wolf. ‘Zhira?’ Rhyode pressed and she looked across at him. Even his horse was black. She let out a sigh, her breath turning to mist as it lingered in the air. ‘Yes,’ her voice was softer and she grimaced. Ashamed to show her fear. The High Priestess appeared in the courtyard behind them, dressed in a thick robe of blue velvet and lined with soft white fur. She looked warm. Zhira held her tongue and tried to keep her thoughts in check. It was rumored that the Priestess could hear stray thoughts. There was no point being jealous of a warmer cloak. She might as well be jealous of the moon. The Priestess, Frealyn, moved to speak to Rhyode. Quiet, but her clear and firm voice still carried through the morning air. ‘Don’t engage with Champions,’ Frealyn ordered, and Zhira watched as Rhyode straightened. How old was he anyway? A few decades younger than Fraelyn, in his twenties? Zhira always found it hard to judge, but then she’d only met a handful of men within the Temple and none of them were like Rhyode. ‘I know my business,’ Rhyode replied. He was taller than the priestess, with inky black eyes and hair. ‘I can see what you mean,’ a voice made Zhira jump before she threw her arms around her friend, Eda. ‘I didn’t think I’d get to see you!’ Zhira hugged her friend tightly and Eda squeezed back. ‘I’m just disappointed I’ve taken my vows,’ Eda sighed and drew back. She wore the white dress and cloak of a woman who had joined the Temple of Light. Something Zhira had never aspired to. ‘I would have come with you.’ ‘I wish that you were,’ Zhira admitted, her gaze shifted to the man and woman a dozen paces away as they talked, heads bent together in rapid conversation. As though nothing else in the world mattered. ‘You still think they’re involved?’ Eda teased, hardly daring to whisper the suspicions Zhira had shared with her years ago. ‘She lets him wear black,’ Zhira protested, ‘she doesn’t let anyone wear anything other than their colours.’ Eda shrugged, ‘but he’s never really been one of us,’ she protested. ‘He’s a guard,’ Zhira scowled and Eda laughed. ‘No, he’s much better and far more experienced. That’s why he’s going with you. To bring you home when your quest is complete.’ Zhira grit her teeth as Rhyode straightened and met her gaze. ‘You’ll be back before spring,’ Eda promised, and Zhira nodded quickly. For someone who’d been desperate to leave the temple her entire life, it felt strange to feel so frightened to leave. Fraelyn approached and Eda backed away. The High Priestess stood before her giving a slow nod. ‘It is time for you to go,’ she said. Her voice was quieter than it had been with Rhyode. ‘Good bye, Zhira.’ ‘Priestess,’ Zhira bowed her head with respect, her bottom lip wobbling as she promised herself she wouldn’t cry. ‘I will ask the Light to guide me,’ she promised and was shocked when Fraelyn smiled. ‘Spirits Guide you, Zhira,’ Fraelyn nodded and lent forward, pressing a kiss to her temple before she withdrew. Turning back to the temple with hurried steps, a busy woman with rarely any time to spare. Eda watched Zhira for a heartbeat before running to catch up the Priestess. She and Rhyode were alone again, except for the horses and the man who was beside her. She could feel his presence and close proximity. Zhira glanced at him, heart catching as she tried hard not to study him too closely. Never had she been able to understand the effect he had on her, especially the frantic reaction of her body. A reaction she would have to hide and control even better than she usually did. Living around him, seeing him in the corridors at strange moments during the day, was constant torture. Though she had given up caring how she might look. She always wore the same gray dress. Her hair was always the same dun brown and her eyes the same pale gray. She was hopelessly unremarkable and he’d never paid her even the slightest bit of notice. A professional, a guard who was employed to protect the women who lived in the temple. Nothing more, nothing less. Except that he wore black when the other’s wore gray and he made her heart bound and her palms feel clammy. ‘Do you need help?’ His voice tickled the top of her ear and she shook her head. She set her hands on the saddle and pulled herself up. But he was beside her. Beneath her gray dress she wore breeches and she thanked the Spirits for that. Because his hand was against her ankle as she struggled to find the stirrup. His touch was firm, guiding her toes to the metal bar and ducked around to set her second boot in place. Heat spread in tingles through her calf and she closed her eyes for a breath. How had he got back to his horse so fast? He was mounted up and looked back at her. They’d lingered long enough and it was a long journey and an urgent message. They rode out of the temple gates at an easy trot and she turned, watching the heavy wooden doors closing behind them once again. Her heart squeezed as her horse followed Rhyode’s. How long until she was home again? Spirits, she prayed quietly, please don’t let me make a fool of myself. Please don’t let him realize that I love him.Because she did. For no reason that she could explain or understand, the moment she had met Rhyode was the moment she had fallen in love with him.