The weight of the crown

Chapter 10

This morning Marianne didn't have to wake me up. As soon as she reached the room, I was wearing an oval dress that wasn't too tight on my waist, so I could move a little and not choke in the dress.

I watched the servants come into my room and take my things downstairs, my eyes following them and as they disappeared from the room, I looked back at Marianne who had arranged my bed.

Even though I was only leaving for a few days, I was afraid.

I don't know whether it's from the transition to a country I've seen in the past as an enemy state or from having to talk to William, alone. From how I saw the situation, none of us wanted to talk to the other.

"Are you ready dear?" My mother came into my room. She looked at me with a slight smile on her face, she sat down on the edge of the bed while Marianne bowed slightly and left the room.

"Are you ready dear?" My mother came into my room. She looked at me with a slight smile on her face, she sat down on the edge of the bed while Marian bowed slightly and left the room.

"Yes," I answered, although the answer that continued to echo in my head was no.

"I hope you'll take advantage of your time in Ireland, meet your future husband, and of course his family, you have to show them that the security of England and the Alliance is your first priority, especially for the king," she said seriously, and I knew exactly how my parents would react if I failed, I knew how much was at stake.

"I'll do it," I said when I saw my mother looking in the closet where all my books were.

"I took all the books in Portuguese, I'll keep practicing there too," I said, hoping she would be a little less stressed out from my trip when she knows I was still doing my job properly.

"That's what I expected you to do," she said, getting up as she adjusted the crown on my head and then examined my dress and my loose hair.

It seemed like she wanted to say something, But one of the maids came in and whispered something in my mother's ear. 

My mother nodded briefly and then the maid hurried out of the room.

"I have to go, I'll see you, darling, remember everything I told you," she said, stepping out of the room.

I won't lie, I expected a little more heartwarming goodbye, but on the other side, I learned that despite the expectations of others from me, I'd better not expect too much from others.

"Are you going without saying goodbye to your big brother?" Thomas said as he walked down the steps leading to the main entrance of the palace.

I turned slowly as I looked at him, he walked lightly, when he finally stood in front of me.

"I'm just leaving for a few days," I said nonchalantly as if I didn't care about it.

"You can fool everyone Ali, Mom, Marianne, all the people here, but not me, I know you do not want to go," he said quietly.

"I don't have a choice," I said dryly, meaning to go, but he stopped me.

"Why do you behave like that? I know you're angry with me, but you have to understand that I'm on your side" he said.

"Correction, You were on my side. But now you're just like everyone else Thomas" I said quietly.

" You think I lied and thought only about myself. That's what really hurts me, "I said, and he wasn't smiling anymore.

I didn't want to talk to him anymore because it would only make me even angrier than I was.

I walked down the steps and walked into the carriage where the servants had already loaded my things. I looked at Thomas, who was still in the same spot.

It is strange to think about how life in the palace can change overnight, but it is sadder to think that now I am truly alone.

From the moment I got into the carriage, I looked at the landscape, at the trees, at the peasants who occasionally went by the side of the road.

All I could think of was how much I wanted to go outside, meet new people, walk in a simple dress, and dance in the rain. It was the little fantasy that always reappeared in my head, but it was a secret that was mine, only mine.

At one point, the landscape changed from houses to trees, only trees, when they were all joined together and in identical shades. I laid my head on the window and slowly fell asleep. 

I woke up when I felt the immediate stop of the carriage. I dismounted cautiously as one of the servants, who was standing near the path, began unpacking.

I stepped forward a little, looking at the vast palace directly opposite.

It was similar in structure to the palace in England, but there were differences. The windows were larger, and I saw many balconies.

At least here I have a chance to escape through the balcony if I don't like the place.

"Alexandra" I heard a little excited and childish voice. I turned when I felt two arms hugging me tightly.

Laura looked at me with a big smile on her face. She was wearing a yellow dress that made her look more glamorous than ever as if she were herself a source of light toward her surroundings.

Her hair was gathered in a simple braid, and on her head was a delicate crown encrusted with small diamonds.

"I can't believe you're really here, I have to show you the palace," she said as she took my hand and started walking toward the palace.

She walked through the front door as the guard bowed slightly. As soon as we entered, she began to walk quickly, and I was afraid for a moment that I would lose her speed.

She stopped when we stood in front of a large brown door.

"Why did we stop?" I asked in confusion.

"This is your room," she said and opened the door. She leaned against the door frame as I slowly walked in, scanning the room curiously.

The room was much bigger than my room in the palace, the bed was relatively large and there were pink cushions on it. In front of the bed was a huge window that covered a white-colored curtain.

Beside the bed was a brown table in front of a chair of the same color. There was another door in the room that I imagined led to the bathroom. I was surprised by the fact that the room smelled so pleasant, the smell of vanilla.

I moved to the window and pulled the curtain aside, facing a wide area of land where a few trees were visible.

"It's beautiful here in the spring, I love these seasons of the year, the area looks a bit depressing, but in the winter we can go outside and walk in the snow," she said but stopped talking when she saw that my mind was slightly distracted.

" If you don't like the room, we can find you another room, maybe one you can see through the forest, or the southern part of the palace, "she said, but I shook my head.

"The room is lovely, it's just hard for me to get used to things, everything happens so fast," I said quietly, shifting the curtain back as it was, separating me from the world outside.

"I'm sorry William isn't the one who came to accompany you, he's in an important meeting with our father," she said.

I didn't think anything else would happen. I knew he'd find a way he wouldn't have to talk to me too much.

"It's all right," I murmured, as I left the room and closed the door behind me, "and please don't call me Alexandra, I prefer the name Ally"

Laura showed me the different rooms palace, and now she stopped again in front of another door that was the last door on the floor where the royal family lived.

"I think we can go on," I said calmly and started walking from the door, knowing I did not want to see what was behind her, to know more about him.

"But this is William's room, I thought you could get to know him better," she said.

"I don't think he would want to know I was in his room, it'll just give him another reason to hate me," I said, and walked on as Laura walked by.

"He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't trust people so easily, that's all," she said, and I knew she was trying to cheer me up.

"It's not just that Laura, this alliance may be a good idea, but not the match between us," I said sadly.

"Don't say that. You'll see things change, just give him a chance," she said gently, and I just nodded.

After Laura left, I continued to wander the palace until I reached a long hallway that led to two large doors.

Before I could get close enough to them, they opened tightly, and a group of people came out of them, when at last two people left. One was old, around forty, maybe even fifty.

His hair was black and a golden crown on his head. His clothes were decorated with stones and made him look even more impressive, I stopped immediately, it was the king.

There was a young boy with black hair talking to him quietly, it was William. I felt my heart beating fast and tried to think of what to do so that they would not notice me, but it was too late.

William looked up and his eyes met mine. He said something to his father, who also raised his head to me. Now I could see that his eyes were the same as William's.

They came over to me and I wished I'd meet the King of Ireland without getting ready and not knowing what would really make the right impression, or at least my mother would be pleased with him.

"Your Highness" I bowed slightly when the King stood before me, "Nice to meet you, I am Alexandra, Princess of England"

"So you're William's future wife," he said with a smile and looked for a moment at his son who looked at me for a moment and then looked at his father. "I hope you like the palace and that you love your room"

"Yes, it's wonderful," I said, hoping I looked sociable enough but still sounded serious.

"I want you to come to one of my discussions with my advisors tomorrow morning, and he will be busy in England and you and William will be present, too," he continued, and I nodded quickly.

"I'd love it, Your Highness," I said.

"I should go, it was nice to meet you, Alexandra," he said, looking at his son for a moment and walking on.

I was surprised to see William so quiet during the conversation, but I guessed that he, like me, didn't think I would meet his father for the first time.

"Your father is nice," I said, in order to attract his attention because he kept looking at the people walking down the corridor and occasionally looking at us curiously.

"My father is a lot of things, nice is not one of them," William said seriously, which made me look at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I asked when now he looked at me and then shook his head.

"It doesn't matter, I hope for you that you will not understand either," he said, "I'm sorry I couldn't make you a tour of the palace, I had a lot of discussions this morning"

I was wondering if he really meant it or was it just something that his parents asked him to say.

"It's all right, Laura accompanied me, you really do have a lovely sister," I said and meant every word, but he didn't seem to concentrate on what I was saying, but as if he was thinking of something else.

"It's late, you better go back to your room," he said quietly, and I got the hint right away, it seemed that he was not really interested in talking to me at the moment.

"Good night," I nodded and hurried away in the opposite direction.

I got up very tired in the morning, I could not sleep at night. I was thinking of England, thinking about what Tomas was doing now, probably preparing for the coronation, and my parents must be in discussion with important people.

I could not help but think about what William had said, why was he talking like that about his father?

I got out of bed and put on a long dress, which I was not sure would really warm me up in the cool weather.

I walked toward the big room across from him where I had met William and his father. I went into the room when I saw that almost all the seats were occupied, some of which were advisers to the king.

I scanned the seats for William, but I could not find him. Not that I wanted to find him, but I did not want to be alone in the room without knowing anyone, it was too stressful.

"Looking for someone?" I heard a voice behind me and turned to see William in front of me, his brown eyes studying me.

"No," I said as I folded my arms and held them to my chest. He looked at me for a few moments and sat down in the chair near the head of the table just as his father came into the room and sat down too.

Everyone rushed to sit and so did I, and fortunately for the chair that was available was not too close to the king and William.

"Good morning, gentlemen," he said, rising from his chair, he quickly scanned the room until his eyes stopped on me for a moment and then he looked back at the others.

"The subject of the debate today will deal with the alliance that is expected to take place between Ireland and England," he said, and I could feel William's gaze, so I resisted not looking back at him.

The King then moved back for a moment and then spread a wide map on the table so that all the people could look at it.

I recognized immediately certain areas of the map, it was England, a central area marked with black ink was the palace, and at the edges of the map were marked the borders of England with Scotland and Ireland.

"As you can see, gentlemen, there are two major areas where there is a risk that Scotland will attack both countries and pose a threat to us," he said, and some people looked up from the map and looked at it.

"There are rumors that Scotland is planning to attack one of the countries, On the subject and I do not really know who she plans to attack, England or Ireland " he continued to say.

"Your Highness, are you planning to send troops to one of the borders, in case there is an attack?" Asked one of the counselors, sitting close to the king, his hair gray, and his eyes dark brown.

"We have military forces, but I want to decide where to send them, so I want to hear your opinion," he said, and I saw that he was taking things seriously.

I knew how hard our tension with Scotland was, that it might even go to war with them, but the King wasn't allowed to know the situation.

I didn't know him or William enough to know if I could trust them enough. It was military information that Ireland could use against us.

"I think England is too weak to deal with another attack, we have enough troops to send to the southern border with England, so we can protect it better, Ireland is strong enough to deal with Scotland now," said another adviser of the king whose hair was white. He looked around the age of sixty, judging him by the lines on his face and the color of his hair.

"I think Ireland needs more defense, no alliance has been made, so there's no reason we should defend England right now," said another man.

Without noticing it, people began to talk after each other, and people began to interrupt each other. Some were in favor of protecting England and some were in favor of defending their country.

I didn't know what to do. Should I speak, say that England needed protection and thereby expose our weakness, or should I say that England was strong enough to risk not being at the border a strong force that could protect us, a force that was most necessary for England?

Then I remembered my father's words, the first discussion I attended, or rather I just listened. We had a weak point, and I couldn't let her be exposed.

My father believes in defense, not an attack, and I knew that in this case, it would be better if I took a step back and didn't reveal what I discovered, that wasn't the right time.

I didn't want to risk the alliance, and think only of my country, while Ireland could be the one to be attacked.

"I think the soldiers need to defend the border with Ireland, we have soldiers who can defend the area when there is a threat, and I believe that England is strong enough to defend itself," I said and looked at the people.

"I thank all those who believe in the alliance between the countries and want But it's not what's right, at least not now, "I said, and was surprised to see some people nod when they heard me.

I tried to look sure and looked slowly toward the king, who seemed to be thinking about what I had said.

"I agree" I suddenly heard William now standing up as well. Unlike I, who seemed unsure of my words and a little afraid of many people, it seems as though talking to people is a natural thing for him.

"I think right now the border with Ireland must be protected. They will see our soldiers on the border, they will understand that there is an alliance with England, and we do not want them to know it before we decide, "he said and then immediately sat down, causing a new wave of talk to be heard in the room.

I looked at William, who was busy talking to the man sitting next to him.

I wondered why he had agreed with me, it was clear to me that he wanted to defend his country, but it was odd for me to think he didn't contradict me, that he thought I was right.

"Okay, gentlemen, the decision was made. We will send the soldiers tomorrow as soon as the sun goes down," the king said, and after that, he got up from the chair and left the room.

Most of the people in the room came out and only William and I stayed in our place. I also meant to leave but he stopped me.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"Well done princess," he said quietly.

I looked at him for a moment to see if he was going to laugh or show any sign that he was working on me, but he kept the same serious expression.

"Excuse me, but what did you just say?" I asked to make sure I heard correctly.

"You've just heard what I said," he said, "you showed me that you cared about the Alliance and that you didn't think only of your country and more than that you showed my father that you wanted Ireland's good." He continued to say, and I still looked at him in confusion.

"You really mean that?" I said quietly, and I noticed a small smile on his face or at least a hint of a smile.

"Don't get used to it," he said seriously, and every hint of that smile vanished.

I wondered if he was saying it so I would trust him and reveal details about England to him.

And maybe he really thought I was doing right.

Maybe he didn't see me only as of the pampered princess who lived in the palace.