The weight of the crown

Chapter 20

Laura and I continued to hide until we saw that the ambassador had gone too.

"So the French ambassador is collaborating with the Scots?" Laura asked in confusion and looked at me.

"Unfortunately. I don't know how long or why, but he's sure not on our side," I replied.

"What are we doing now?"

"We're going back to the palace, I'll tell what happened to William, my parents, and Thomas, they have to know that," I said firmly as I and Laura started walking back toward the palace.

"But your parents don't know that until now you were hiding in the palace, what exactly would you tell them?"

"I will tell them the truth, even if it means that as punishment I will be confined to the palace forever"

"Don't you think you're being a bit reckless?" She began to say to Laura. I knew she was not going to offend me, but honestly she wanted to understand my way of thinking, what the logic behind my actions was.

I remembered my promise to William, I promised I wouldn't do anything reckless, nothing that could endanger me, but I couldn't keep these promises.

I wondered if that was how kings or leaders worked, making promises and behaving kindly, knowing in advance that they couldn't keep their promises.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing myself, all I know is that I have to do something if I do not go crazy"

"You can never tell if your choice is right, all I can advise you is to rely on yourself and your intuition," she said while I nodded slightly and continued walking with her through the tangled forest.

"We've arrived," I said happily when I saw the gates of the palace. Laura walked beside me as she gasped a few feet behind me.

I was struck by the thought that if I wanted to get away from the palace, I would still be so happy to return to it.

We climbed the stones again, only this time they were farther apart and much smoother.

"Come on, Alexandra, you can do that," Laura told me from below as she looked at my face, too frightened by the height I was.

"Before, it seemed much less frightening," I muttered to myself quietly as I continued to slow down.

"Maybe it's because all you thought about was to follow  the French ambassador." Giggled Laura, and I couldn't help but smile, it was quite true.

After I managed to get off the wall, we walked toward the palace, making sure to hide my face so that they wouldn't notice me.

We went through one of the chimney doors and onto the main floor. Laura left me when we reached her room and I moved toward my room when I felt a hand pulling me in a different direction.

I looked up when I noticed that it was William who was holding me. He looked nervous, quiet. His brown eyes looked directly at the corridor and he did not look at me once.

"William," I said, but he continued to ignore me.

"Hey, hold on a minute," I said, trying to break free, but it was too strong. He opened a large brown door and closed it behind him. He released my hand and looked at me as he folded his arms together and held them to his chest.

"What's going on with you, William?" I asked angrily as I approached him, but he still did not respond.

"Say something," I said, trying to push him, but he did not move.

"Why did you run away from the palace? Why didn't you tell me anything?" He asked quietly and I shut my mouth, how did he know I was not here?

"I saw you and Laura coming up to the wall and entering the palace, and, surprisingly, you came back a few minutes after the French ambassador entered the palace, is there anything you want to tell me Alexandra?"

"I planned to tell you what happened, but I don't think it really matters what I say, you'll still be angry with me," I said, sitting on the bed in the middle of the room.

"You promised me something Alexandra," he said now more quietly, "and I want to understand why you didn't keep this promise "

"I saw an envelope that the Scots sent to the ambassador in his room, I decided to follow him and Laura joined me," I explained slowly, "we followed him until we reached a point in the forest, and then we saw him talking to the prince. "I said and saw that William was listening to me, but he still looked angry.

"I don't understand why you did it," he replied quietly. "Why did you have to act recklessly without telling anyone and then dragging my sister into it, knowing how dangerous it could be?" He asked angrily.

"I tried to get her to go but she didn't agree," I tried to explain to him, but he shook his head.

"I was sure you had changed," he began to say, and I saw in his brown eyes anger but I also saw sadness, he looked hurt.

"I was sure I could count on you now, that you stopped thinking only about yourself and that you understood how much responsibility you had, but I must have been mistaken for that. Your'e a princess who decided to run away because things got hard for you," he continued, and every word hurt me.

"I've really changed," I said quietly, "maybe I was wrong to go alone and I didn't tell you, maybe I was wrong about not trying to get Laura to go, And you and I are in danger, "I went on, but the sadness I felt inside me turned to anger.

"We have to act before it is too late," I continued, as I looked deep into his eyes.

"I'll help you," he said, and I felt relieved, "but that doesn't mean I forgive you or think that what you did is okay"

"Sometimes you can break the rules and William, you can't always follow the rules and act rationally, because sometimes logic doesn't exist, only intuition," I told him quietly, but I knew he wouldn't listen to me.

He's too hurt not to have told him anything, the one I broke promise, the fact that I risked his sister.

"I know I made a mistake and William, but I have to leave this whole thing back and share with me, I doubt my parents will believe me when I tell them," I said.

"Are you going to tell your parents?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes, they have to know about it, and as soon as possible," I replied, without really looking into his eyes, I was angry at him and he was at me.

"Wait a minute," he said, and now I was the one who folded her arms.

"What exactly are you going to tell them?" He asked.

"The truth" I replied briefly and walked toward the door. He didn't even try to stop me.

I was alone, and my heart pounded with every step toward the throne room.

The doors opened as I approached the room and breathed deeply in front of me. My parents sat on their chairs and looked at me in surprise as I entered the room.

I imagined what they thought to themselves. My hair was wild, my dress was a simple dress of a maid, and my legs trembled a little with each step of mine.

"What are you doing here Alexandra?" My father turned to me and I knew that he was in shock now to see me in the palace after he had sent me to Ireland.

"Alexandra, why are you dressed like that?" My mother and she and my father exchanged glances quickly.

"I can explain everything, but please promise you will listen to me until the end," I said, and they both nodded in agreement. I knew that my time was set until they decided they were fed up and they would start to get mad at me .

I quickly explained to them my stay in the palace, the surveillance of the ambassador, and what I had discovered.

"I can't believe you stayed in the palace after we told you to go to Ireland," my mother said angrily.

"Wasn't I clear enough with you Alexandra, how could you do that?" My father asked, but he sounded much more threatening than my mother.

"Father, try to understand , we're in danger, we have to stop the ambassador"

"We know there's going to be a war Alexandra, it's not something we're not prepared for," my father said, leaning on his chair.

"We can't be so sure of ourselves, we mustn't be complacent"

"I will take care of myself to be followed every step of the ambassador, we will see to his next step," added my father.

"You broke our trust Alexandra, and now it's time you moved to Ireland, and this time for good," my father said as he looked at my mother, who nodded slightly at him.

"forever?" I muttered quietly.

"Now that Thomas's coronation is near, there's no reason for you to stay here, you have to move to Ireland with your future husband, we'll make sure the wedding takes place soon to keep the alliance going," my father said calmly, and I looked at him and my mother with wide eyes.

"You'll be safer in Ireland, dear, I'm afraid you won't be safe here when the Scots come here," my mother said.

"We are already in danger, and no place will be safe enough for me, and I will not leave yet, you promised me that the wedding will take place only a few months from now, I've got more time, "I said angrily when I realized I was crying, tears falling one after the other down my cheeks.

"Things change Alexandra, and now go pack your things, and this time I'll make sure you're really coming to Ireland," my father said coldly.

I felt that I would break if I stood another moment in front of them, that I would not be able to stand it any longer. I turned my back to them and left the room when I heard the noise of the doors closing behind me.

I took off my shoes and ran quickly to my room when I heard a familiar voice behind me, but I ignored him, running as fast as I could, with my feet ache and pain not letting go of me.

I went into my room and slammed the door behind me. I went to my closet and threw my dresses one after the other on the bed, opened my drawers, and threw various pieces of clothing on the soft blanket. Then I turned to my library and threw the books one by one on the bed.

I felt my anger bubbling, I had never had a choice and you would never be me, I had no way of changing what I had already planned for me.

I'm tired of running away from my fate.

I walked slowly toward my pillow while I was panting and my heart was hot.

I held a book that contained so many stories about mythology, about fighting, about love stories. I looked at the book and stroked the cover gently, perhaps there was never room for such stories in my life, I was sure I would be able to escape one day, that I would be free.

I thought I could read stories every night and imagine that I was in another kingdom, but now it seemed superfluous, it would only make me hope things would change someday.

I looked at the book a few more seconds and then threw it firmly against the wall; it was my time to leave this place once and for all.