The weight of the crown

Chapter 8

I sat in the dining room, where on the long wooden table were plates with croissants and other sweet foods. I poured more milk into the white cup and looked at the different people. 

There was silence in the room, except for my father who spoke a little with his advisers, or my mother who spoke to the woman sitting next to her. 

I felt the looks of some of the people in the room stuck in me, and without wanting to do so I lowered my head down, looking at the croissant resting on my plate, unable to eat.

Yesterday, after I returned to the palace, at a relatively late hour, I had a long conversation with my parents.

They didn't stop saying how irresponsible I was, that it would give the King of Ireland the wrong impression, that I almost destroyed the alliance between the states, my engagement.

 At some point I was no longer listening to them in the conversation, I felt that no matter how much I tried to explain myself, the result would be the same.

I would still have to get married. I would still live in the palace. I could never escape my destiny.

After a lot of harsh words, they sent me to my room, and they did not let me out until morning.

I noticed that the number of guards outside my room was growing, and from time to time I could hear through the door their steps outside my room, expecting me to do some trick, but not tonight.

  I looked across the table, where I recognized William reading a thick brown-bound book, and beside him sat a girl who looked about his age. Her brown hair was pulled up in a braid when a few strands hid her face slightly.

The girl was sketching something. From time to time she turned to William and he talked with her calmly. 

I wondered if this was his sister or a good friend. The girl seemed to notice my look because she lifted her head from the page and turned to look at me.

A soft smile appeared on her face and then she stood up with the page and came slowly toward me. She sat down on the chair next to me and looked at me expectantly.

"Um ... Hey" I muttered, not sure what to tell her.

"I'm Laura, and I suppose you're Alexandra," she said with an enthusiasm that seemed suspicious to me.

"Yes," I said, shaking the hand she was now holding out to me. 

"I'm William's sister," she said, and for some reason, I was glad she wasn't his friend. "I cannot believe he's finally getting married," she said, putting her hands together, a dreamy look on her face.

I chuckled in reaction to her behavior and she blushed for a moment looking at the page she was sketching. 

I looked at William for a moment, seeing that he was still concentrating on his book, how could he be so cold and serious and his sister behaving just the opposite.

As if reading my thoughts, she laughed too.

"He's acting like that to everyone at first. I'm sure that the more you get to know each other, the more he'll act differently," she said and seemed to be thinking about something.

"I'm sorry I ask that question, but why did you run away when you saw him?" She asked and I knew that the question was not meant to hurt me, she was curious.

"It's complicated," I muttered quietly, and she must have realized she had to leave the subject. She looked at the page and handed it to me.

 On the page was a beautiful blue dress. Light blue sleeves reached the fingertips of the figure. The dress was simple but still beautiful.

"I draw dresses, I know it's not necessary because there are people who are responsible for clothing in the palace, but because I am a princess, no one can tell me no," she said with a smile and I smiled at her as well.

"And what do you do with all the drawings?" I ask curiously.

She played with the quill in her hand and drew a few random stripes on the page.

"I bring them to the person who is responsible for my wear and she makes sure to make me the dresses as in the drawing," she said with a satisfied smile. 

"I thought maybe you'd like me to make a dress for you for the ball, I know there's not much time, but you might want something different to wear," she said hesitantly.

I looked at her in surprise, I didn't even know her and she was already caring for me, even though all I thought of was the ball.

Another party with people I wouldn't want to contact, but I have no choice.

"I'm sorry if you didn't like the idea then-" she said, but I interrupted her when a new thought came to mind.

"It's a lovely idea, but I wanted to ask if you could help me with anything else," I said when I wondered if I could count on her with what I was going to do.

"Sure, anything," she said, ready to help.

I looked around the room again, when I saw that the book William had read was lying on the table, and now he looked at us, curiosity in his brown eyes, and I wondered if that was the only thing I'd ever see in them.

"I need simple clothes, so much so that they think I'm living in a village, that I'm just a commoner," I said quietly.

"Why would you-" She began but stopped when I saw a spark in her eyes.

"Are you going to run away from the palace?" She said quietly and I knew she hoped I would contradict her.

"Just for one night, I need to know what's happening in my country," I said and looked at her.

" If there's any danger on the horizon I'm not aware of, the only way to do it is to reach the people, my people," I said, and she nodded quietly.

"It's dangerous. England is also made up of people who do not support your dad's reign, or even you specifically, "she said, and her words made me think again about what William had said.

Maybe I really didn't care.

maybe I never noticed things, it was my time to open my eyes.

"I know," I said, "but I have to do it"

***

She studied me and walked around to check every detail of the dress.

"You look great, you don't even look like a princess," she said, impressed. I smiled at her softly and picked up my hair with a simple braid.

"Are you sure you want to do it? As soon as you leave the palace no one can help you," she said quietly, and she looked worried.

"I'll be fine, and remember that no one can know I'd left the palace, it would just cause an unnecessary mess," I said seriously, and she nodded, though she didn't seem very pleased.

"Aren't you going to tell William about it?" She suddenly asked, making me look at her in surprise.

"No, there's no point in doing it," I said quietly, not wanting to think about him.

All I have to do is get away from him and then if I don't see him in real life, I will not think about him either. At least that's what I hoped would happen.

"You'd better go now, and remember that if someone asks where I am, you saw me studying Portuguese, For my parents it is so important that I learn in my spare time, that they don't even think of disturbing me, "I said, and she nodded briefly," Thank you for helping me, Laura "

I left the servants' quarters where I was and walked quietly out, knowing that I would not be suspected of being here, especially with my clothes.

I knew that the road to the village would not be long, but if I wanted to go back before anyone noticed I was gone, I would have to find a way to get there quickly.

I turned to one of the trees in the forest, to which I had tied one of the horses in the stable. It was a white color that shone almost at night and among the shadows of the trees.

 I got on it quickly and rode toward one of the villages where I knew there was a border with Scotland.

It was late, around ten o'clock. I tied the horse back and felt a little breathless from the quick ride. I drank some water and then approached the people's houses. 

I was surprised to find that there was hardly any lived here.

I walked toward one of the houses, knocked on the door slightly, expecting to hear footsteps light in any of the windows, it was quiet, no one was outside.

The area was completely desolate as if no one had ever approached, but instead, it was quiet.

 I opened the door cautiously, seeing that the house was empty. I moved closer to the interior, bringing my lantern closer to see furniture, but mostly a big mess.

A lot of things were scattered on the floor, the curtains were torn, a table was upside down on the floor.

I moved closer to another room, realizing from the big bed that it was a bedroom.

I opened one of the closets, saw that there was nothing inside, the closet was empty of clothes or personal effects. I left the house confused, why there was nobody here.

I heard a sudden sound of drops, only drops of water, but it made me sit up and stay alert. I walked slowly, hearing footsteps now.

I screamed when I saw a knife aimed directly at me, a few inches from my neck. A tall man held the knife, he looked about forty, he was very thin, and his clothes were as simple as the ones I was wearing.

 He looked angry but equally afraid. His hand trembled a little but his posture was steady.

"Who are you? Why are you here?" He asked and I stepped back a little, his voice threatening, but in spite of the fear I had to find out why no one lived here, we were still within the borders of England.

"Why are you only here, where is everyone?" I asked, trying to sound confident.

He looked at me for a few seconds, he seemed surprised at my words, as if he expected me to say anything else.

"Are you pretending or you really don't know about the attack that happened here?" He asked in a low voice.

"What attack?" I muttered, I had already heard about a few assaults, but our soldiers always came back to defend this area.

"A few days ago, Scottish soldiers came here, they attacked the village, they killed people, robbed them, it was shocking, everyone who survived escaped from here, now there is nobody here," he said, looking at him in amazement.

I never thought the situation with Scotland was that bad.

"But what about the king's soldiers, did not they come to help?" I asked, he looked at me for a few seconds and then laughed, but it was a laugh that came from frustration.

I don't know who you are, but you are probably not aware of the king's actions, he decides that it is better to defend the border than to attack, but it is impossible to continue acting like that, all the soldiers who came here fought properly, but not many of them survived.

 Because the king does not have enough soldiers, "he said, but I no longer listened to him.

All I could think about was how we could have been in such a situation that people were leaving because they weren't safe because soldiers were coming and attacking them.

"And now, are there soldiers here?" I asked quietly.

"Not the kind you can count on," he said.

"Does that mean there could be a war with Scotland?" I said quietly, hoping that all the data I was exposed to at the moment were creating the wrong picture, that I was just thinking ahead.

"That means war cannot be avoided. Whether it's a civil war or a war against Scotland, "he said, and he now seemed to be no longer angry but sad, as someone who knew what was going to happen and had no effect on the matter.

"I suggest you go back to where you came from, this area is no longer considered English by the enemy," he said, and in those words he turned and left, leaving me stunned.

***

I rode the horse when the thoughts ran through my head. Although this was the first time I actually left the palace and felt free, I couldn't rejoice or enjoy it.

 I went back to my room quietly, not even bothering to see if anyone had seen me.

I was surprised to find Thomas in my room, he was fiddling with one of my books, and when he heard me he turned to look at me.

"Ally, was it you who made sure that the guards next to your room slept well tonight?" He asked curiously, with a small smile on his face, but he went down when he noticed the clothes I was wearing.

 "I was in one of the villages on the northern border with Scotland, you do not understand what's happening there, all the people-" I began to say, but he stopped me.

"Why did you go out on your own, it's dangerous," he said angrily.

"You don't listen to me Thomas, the situation is difficult, people have run away from their homes because they felt they were unprotected, that we could not protect them"

"I know, but nothing can be done about it as long as your father is the king-" he said, and I interrupt him.

"Did you know about this? Why did not you tell me anything? I told you I suspected something was happening,

"I said to him quietly, feeling hurt because he had not told me anything.

"That's why I'm engaged," I said, not even looking at him, "we're so weak militarily that we need both Ireland and France"

"Since when do you care about what's happening in England?" He said, completely ignoring what I said, "I was always the one who made decisions and made connections with people, and you were the one who chose to stay in the room and read fairy tales, imagining how you would escape from the palace one day"

"I'm no longer a little girl," I said more to myself than to him.

"England is in danger, and that's why mother and father were severe about what you did, we need the alliance with Ireland, that's why you have to give William a chance," he said And despite the maturity, I had so far demonstrated, I had to stop him.

"I don't mean to pretend that I like someone that is impossible to love"

"You don't even try, do you think I wanted to marry Charlotte?"

"Charlotte looks like a sweet and generous person, and I see how you have been radiant since you met her, but I have to talk to a cold person whom I can't find anything in common with"

"You're stubborn, and that's why you do not give him a chance even"

"This is not true"

"I'm not even going to argue with you about this, and I don't mean to ask why you left the palace in the first place without informing anyone and risking yourself that way ... I know you don't like the palace but that's no reason to run away"

"I didn't run away, I'm just-" I tried to explain to him, but he seemed no longer willing to listen to me.

"Good night Ally," he said quietly without looking at me and left the room.