Heart of Steel

A Shocking Discovery

"Deal." he said, stumbling down the hallway, hand in mine, dragging me with him. When we got to his room, he quickly ambled to his dresser in the corner and flipped a picture frame from standing to lying face down. Because he was standing in my direct line of sight before flipping it, I didn't get to see what was in it. What in the world was that? I thought.

He walked over to his closet and kicked off his shoes, then stood beside his bed and gestured me over to him.

"Everything alright?" I asked him, walking to stand in front of him.

"I wanted to thank you." he said, staring at me with a look I had never seen before. It seemed like longing.

"For what?" I asked.

"For bringing me home. I know James would never send you to do that. So you must have gone through a lot of trouble to be here for me tonight."

He took my right hand in his left as he spoke. My hand tingled wildly at his touch, and the tone of his voice was making my breaths seem shorter and shorter.

"You're welcome." I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

He looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, seemingly arguing with himself inside his head.

"You know, the event that was supposed to happen involved a girl who was very special to me." he said, still staring deeply into my eyes as if trying to see my thoughts. To my knowledge, no one had ever looked at me like that before. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. This was all about.. a girl?

"And the worst part is," he said, his face distorting into an emotional grimace,

"that she doesn't even remember who I am." his voice cracked on the last word as every single muscle in my body froze. My eyes were wide with shock and realization.

"Wh-what did you just say?" I stammered, staring into his face, trying to see if he was serious.

"You heard me, Kase." he said.

He had never called me this before in my memory, yet there was something extremely familiar about it. I felt like I had just sustained a heavy blow to the head as I swayed where I stood. He's talking about me. The girl is me. I thought numbly. I barely had time to suck in a ragged breath before his right arm slung wildly into the back of my neck and pulled my face directly into his, our lips slamming together in a rough and hungry kiss. Immediately my entire body relaxed and seemed to melt into his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my lips mirroring his, as he grabbed hold of my thighs and heaved me up into his arms. I twisted my legs firmly around his waste and tightened my grip on his neck as he leaned onto the bed and slowly crawled up to the pillows, where he gently laid me down, not breaking the kiss the entire time. I gasped and pushed him up a couple of inches, my eyes wide with shock, stopping abruptly.

"What is it? Are you okay?" he said frantically.

"I... just remembered something." I said slowly.

"We've done this before. Exactly like this."

Shane's eyes widened and his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Um, yeah, several times actually. What did you see? What was it like?" he asked, rolling over so that he was no longer on top of me and laying on his side right next to me.

"It was like any other memory, except that I've never seen it before. You had on a red cotton shirt and jeans and I was wearing--

"A blue dress." he finished, staring at me in disbelief.

"Yes!" I said.

My head was reeling. How the hell had so much happened in 5 minutes time?

"Holy s**t!" he said.

"You remembered something about me!"

He leaned in swiftly and kissed me, seemingly in celebration. Then he pulled back abruptly.

"Sorry..." he said, looking extremely guilty.

"For what?" I asked.

"For kissing you. I shouldn't have. You need to go. Now."

"What?" I bellowed.

"Shane!! You can't just drop that kind of bomb on me, give me a kiss like that and then kick me out!" I screeched.

"Yes I can, Kase. It's extremely dangerous for you to be here! If I could tell you what happened without putting your life at risk, believe me, I would. When I told you in the limo that I would choose not to tell you, I was lying. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to do, being so close to you almost every day and not being able to hold you, to touch you, to kiss you..." he caressed my bottom lip with his thumb, then leaned his forehead into mine and sighed.

I wanted to burst into tears and climb on top of him at the same time.

"But please trust me when I say that this is all for your safety."

"What if I don't give a damn about my safety?" I asked him indignantly.

He rolled his eyes at me.

"You never have. But I do. As long as you're safe, I'll be satisfied."

"Well I want to be with you, Shane. I barely know you and I love you with every single fiber of my being. I've known it since the second we made eye contact in the hospital. But all this time I had no idea how or why I felt that way. Do you understand how confusing and frustrating that is?" I said.

He leaned in and kissed me, softly yet deeply, causing my stomach to erupt in tingling butterflies.

"I love you too Kasey. I always will. But I can't explain anymore tonight. Please go home."

From the moment he had said he loved me, my heart started dancing gleefully in my chest, seemingly close to bursting out at any moment. He gave me one more soft and lingering kiss before I resigned.

"Okay." I said.

I kissed him on the forehead and rolled to the edge of his bed, sitting up to swing my feet onto the ground. I turned back to him to tell him goodnight, but he was already asleep. I stared at his beautiful face, relaxed and peaceful, and wanted more than anything on Earth to remember all the time I had gotten to spend with him before my accident. Were we always that passionate? How did we first get together? How long had we dated? And what was this "very important event" that was supposed to happen on August 16th? An Anniversary? A wedding?? Just then, the memory of the ring Nikki had put on my hand in the hospital slammed into the forefront of my mind, hitting me like a ton of bricks. I recalled Shane spewing his coffee all over the room when I had flexed my hands up and down. Where was the ring now? Did I really lose it, or did he have it? Was that my engagement ring? As I looked around the room, lost in thought, my gaze fell on the picture frame on Shane's dresser whose contents he clearly hadn't wanted me to see. I walked over to the dresser and picked it up, my mouth falling open dramatically the second that my eyes had come into focus. The picture was of me and Shane, both looking like the happiest people on Earth. I was wearing a beautiful sleek black ballgown and Shane was wearing a very handsome matching tuxedo. We were both beaming as I held my left hand in front of my chest, the sides of our heads pressed gently together. Sure enough, there was the ring, shining brilliantly in the spotlight that beamed down on us in the picture, on my ring finger.

"Holy crap!!" I yelled, having momentarily forgotten that Shane was asleep, or even there.

I jerked my head around behind me, checking to see if I had disturbed him. He was still sound asleep, still looking absolutely perfect. Shane. My Shane. How could I ever forget him? His enticing smile, his gorgeous, muscular body, his silky smooth touch, his luscious lips, and the eyes... those enchanting hazel eyes. He was glorious. And he was all mine. How in the world did I get so lucky? I asked myself. But then, I remembered the complicated and infuriating fact that we couldn't actually be together. UGH! This sucked! I grabbed my cell phone out of my back jeans pocket after having stuck it there earlier when I got out of the car to help Shane into the house. I opened my Camera App with a touch and snapped a picture of the picture in the frame. I wanted to take the whole thing, but it was obviously important to him seeing as it was literally the only picture I had seen in his entire house. But I couldn't leave without a way to see that picture again. This was our life before my accident. We were in love, engaged, and incredibly happy. It was written plainly across our beaming faces. I loved and hated that picture at the same time, for the same reason. This is what I used to have. I thought. Unfortunately, the "used to" part was why I hated it. Why did this have to happen to me? To us? What or who was so dangerous that Shane didn't even want me at his house?!

Well, I think I've discovered enough for tonight. I thought, turning and walking to the door to exit his room. I stole one last glance at him, then decided to pull the left side of his comforter over on top of him so that he wouldn't get cold. When I straightened up, I noticed a piece of scrap paper on his night stand. I opened its drawer in search of a pen to write him a little note. I found one, and after scribbling wildly on the paper for a few strokes, I managed to get the ink to start showing up. I flipped the paper over and wrote 3 simple words.

I love you.

My head was swimming with emotion, trying to fully process everything that had just happened. Less than an hour ago, all I wanted was to find out what had happened to me and why. Now, all I wanted was Shane. And unfortunately it seemed like I was just going to have to deal with being around him and not being able to be with him, like he had been doing with me for the last few months. I let out a gigantic sigh when I pulled into the parking lot behind my house. Stupid jackholes! I thought, remembering what Shane had said earlier. Whoever these people were, they had tried to ruin my life. They had tried to end it. And obviously they still had some way of watching us. Shane was right, this was too dangerous. What if they went after him this time? I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to him, especially because of me. So, there it was. I had no choice but to pretend like I didn't know anything from before my accident. I felt a deep, searing pain in my chest. It felt as though my heart were being crushed by an unstoppable force, caving in, dissolving into nothing. I wiped the tears from my face, unnecessarily as more were coming right after it, and got out of the car. I walked over to the wooden rose trellis and looked around, checking that the coast was clear before I began to climb. I didn't see anything, so I made the trek up to the top and leaned over to push the window open when I got up to its level. I carefully transferred myself from the trellis to the window and then closed and locked it. I turned around to walk to the bathroom and jumped, letting out a sharp gasp.

"Busted."

James was sittingin the arm chair in the corner. s**t! I thought.

"James! You scared the crap out of me!" I said, breath short and heart racing from fear and surprise.

"I could say the same about you. It's a good thing we have ways of knowing where you are, otherwise this night could have been a lot worse." He said, the shadow of a grin on his face.

He didn't seem angry at me. He seemed more amused.

"What are you saying? Do you guys have like a tracker on me or something?" I said, placing my right hand on my hip in indignation.

"Something like that." he said, standing up and walking closer to me.

"So, did you have a nice time with Steel?" he asked musingly.

"Not really." I lied.

"He was really drunk. I thought I could get him to tell me what happened to me, but as soon as I helped him to his room he passed out."

James looked at me suspiciously.

"Is that all?" he asked.

"Yep." I said, returning his gaze.

"That was a really bold move Kasey." he said.

"I want to know what happened to me. And why. You've known that since I woke up." I said, glaring at him fiercely.

"You sure that's all you want?" he asked.

"What are you getting at, James?" I retorted. His facial features slackened as he looked at me with an almost pitying expression.

"It's like I've told you before, sweetheart. There is a lot that you don't know and it's best for everyone if it stays that way."

He wasn't condescending me. He was warning me.

"It's my job to ensure your safety, but I have worked with you and your father for several years now. So, as you know, I have a personal interest in his well-being, and yours."

"Sorry for sneaking out. Thanks for caring." I said with a small smile.

"Of course. It must be extremely frustrating, what you're going through." he said, opening the bathroom door for me.

"That's an understatement." I said, shoulders falling.

"If I could help and still ensure your safety, I would." he said.

I believed him.

"Thanks, James. G'night." I said as I walked into my bathroom, closing the door behind me.

So, they had ways of finding out where I was, huh? Well, what had I expected, really? At least they didn't have a microphone planted on me, although knowing my father and his paranoia, I wouldn't put it past him. After brushing my teeth, washing my face, changing into pajamas and settling into bed, I let my thoughts return to Shane's room and the events that had happened there that night. If only we could just run away together... How simply wonderful that would be.