Heart of Steel

A Midnight Visitor

Shane returned to work the very next day looking like he was nursing a hangover from hell. I was sure I didn't look much better as I hadn't gotten a single minute of sleep. After tossing and turning for what seemed like 5 hours, I had decided to go out on my porch and lay on the swing. I had wrapped myself in my fluffy comforter to combat the cold Fall air and stared up at the sky for another few hours until I saw the sun begin to rise. I couldn't get the image of Shane sleeping peacefully on his bed out of my mind. I also kept replaying what had happened right before that continuously on the movie screen of my mind, beginning with him taking my hand to thank me and ending with me staring at him lovingly from his door frame before I left. I kept wishing I could cut the scene and refilm it, changing the plot so that I would have never left. I wanted to be in his arms so badly that I could almost feel them around me, strong, warm and safe, protecting me from the outside world and reality as a whole. Had that been an actual movie, we really could have run away together. But it wasn't.

I pushed the comforter off my shoulders when I felt the warmth of the sun as it had risen about halfway up into the clear sky. I closed my eyes and thought back to the night that Shane and I had sat on that same swing, Shane probably having a near heart attack when I obliviously laid my head on his shoulder and me having absolutely no clue why it would have made him feel that way. What I couldn't seem to understand was why I hadn't remembered him on my own. It made absolutely no sense to me that I recalled entire situations where we had been together, yet I never once saw his face, thought his name, or anything else that would give me a hint of who he was. It was like he had been erased him from my memory completely. When the sun had risen fully, I jumped at the sound of the front door slamming below me, then heard Sam talking on the phone.

"Rise and shine, cupcake! James wants you to cover his shift today, since we've been covering yours all week."

I froze where I was, knowing he couldn't see me from the front porch but not wanting him to hear the creaking of the swing if I moved too much, listening intently. There was a long pause, then I heard Sam laugh.

"You asked for it, Steel. What the hell were you thinking? You could have blown everything last night."

Another pause.

"Well, you're right about that. I don't think anyone predicted that she would do something like that. Can you blame her, though? She just wants to know what -"

He stopped abruptly.

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her yet. Do you not remember what happened when she took you home? All I know is that she told James you passed out right after she helped you inside. Alright, see you in a bit. And hurry your ass up. I've got a breakfast date with Rosie."

He chuckled again and then I heard the sound of the front door opening and closing once more. I figured I should go back inside in case Sam decided to come wake me up. Either he or James had stayed at the house every night that week, since Kendrick had been gone. I didn't really mind it seeing as there was still some sort of threat looming over me, and each one of my dad's body guards packed heat. I had only ever seen Sam's, but he told me James and Shane always carried too. I'm sure that was one of the reasons Dad had wanted me to have one of them with me at all times when I was driving. Thinking of that, I was going to need to ask James if he planned to tell Dad about my little escapade, since I had broken the rules. I was really hoping he wouldn't take my car away. On one hand I was not a child who he could punish into subservience, but on the other I didn't pay for my car, and I disobeyed his wishes. I could see the old Kendrick taking it away in spite, but I wasn't quite sure what the new one would do.

Sure enough, as soon as I had gotten settled into my bed, Sam knocked gently on the door.

"Come in." I croaked, not even needing to pretend I was sleepy, because I genuinely was.

"Woah, you look terrible." he said as he caught a glimpse of my face.

I was sure my eyes had enormous bags underneath them, and judging by the burning sensation I was feeling, they were probably red and puffy too.

"Ouch!" I said, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Sorry, I just mean you look like you didn't get enough sleep." he said as he sat down at the edge of my bed.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes and replied,

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep with the migraine I was fighting all night."

Sam narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"You don't usually get migraines..." he said slowly, carefully observing my face.

He knew I was a terrible liar. I flopped back onto the bed and covered my face with my pillow.

"I know! If you figure out why I have one, please let me know." I said dramatically.

"I'll go get you some aspirin. By the way, Steel's taking over for me in a few minutes." he said, obviously walking out of the room as his voice kept sounding farther and farther away.

"What?!" I shouted in mock surprise, sitting up once more.

"I thought he took a week off!"

"He's back." said Sam from the hallway.

I couldn't see his face, which meant he couldn't see mine, which meant that hopefully I hadn't given myself away. I really sucked at lying and Sam knew me pretty well. Part of me wondered if he suspected that more had happened last night, but I wasn't sure if he would call us out on it or just pretend not to know. Judging by the conversation he had with Shane a few minutes prior to that, though, it seemed as though I was the only one who actually remembered what happened. Then again, maybe Shane was faking it for the sake of pretending nothing went on. Jeez, now I was starting to get an actual headache. Why did everything have to be so damn complicated?

I decided to take a quick shower and attempt to cover up the deep circles under my eyes with some concealer before Shane got there. When I returned to my room afterward, Sam had left me a glass of ice water and 2 little white oval pills. I took them and picked out a cute athletic outfit to wear. Although I didn't think I had the energy to work out today, I liked the way I looked in it, and I now had a reason to try and look good when Shane was around. Just because we couldn't be together didn't mean I wanted him to see me looking like crap.

I walked out of the elevator immersed in my English Literature notebook and ran right into Shane, jumping in surprise and practically tumbling backward. He caught me before I hit the ground, although my notebook had gone flying out of my hands, landing on the floor near our feet about a second later. He was squinting as if the lights in the house were all too bright and the noise of the notebook falling was all too loud. He let go of me as soon as I was upright again and took a small step back. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I willed myself to remain calm.

"Rough night?" I said with an awkward smile.

He let out a short bark of laughter, then winced in pain, closing his eyes and massaging his temples.

"You could say that." he said, looking around to make sure we were alone.

"I'm guessing by the way you're blushing that last night wasn't a dream." he said, looking into my eyes questioningly.

Now it was my turn to look around.

"Aren't there cameras in here?" I asked apprehensively.

"Yeah but they don't record sound." he said as he knelt on one knee to pick up my notebook.

He stood up, adjusted his black collared shirt, and handed the notebook back to me, waiting for me to respond to his question.

"No, it wasn't a dream." I said simply, willing myself unsuccessfully not to blush again.

"I'm really sorry, Kasey." he said somberly, looking down at the marble tiled floor.

"I'm not." I said confidently.

I wasn't. Even though I had lost several hours of sleep and felt the intense pain of loving him and not being able to be with him, I was glad I had found out. At least now I knew who my mystery man was. I knew why my heart began beating wildly and my palms got sweaty every single time he was near me. I knew why it had seemed like the most natural thing in the world to lay my head on his chest on my porch swing the other night. And now, he wasn't alone. He wasn't the only one who had to suffer through being around the person he loved and having to pretend that he no longer did. If we were both alone and heartbroken, at least we were together in that sense. This seemed to take him by surprise, because he jerked his gaze upward until he was looking into my eyes again, brow furrowed and eyes narrowed.

"You're... not?"

"No." I said, hugging my notebook and studying his remarkable hazel eyes.

"But we can't -"

"I know." I said.

"And no one can -"

"I know." I repeated.

"But you're not -"

"No." I said, interrupting him yet again.

He gaped at me.

"Listen, I understand that this situation sucks. But at least I'm not completely clueless about this part of it anymore. So many questions were answered last night... And I get it now. I know what's at stake and why you can't tell me any more. It really is to protect me. And I want to thank you for that."

He gaped even wider, eyes round and bulging, then snapped his mouth shut and shook his head back and forth.

"You know, you never cease to amaze me." he said with a tiny side grin.

I laughed and stepped around him, headed for the kitchen to find some breakfast.

"Would you like some medicine for your head?" I asked over my shoulder.

It looked like he was headed for the Security Room.

"Sam gave me some on his way out. He said he'd be back around 6 tonight to work the evening shift."

"How about some coffee?" I asked, stopping before stepping into the Dining Room so that I could see him when he answered.

"Now that would be great." he said with a wide grin.

I made 2 cups of single serve coffee and poured milk into Shane's cup without realizing that I had even done it. I poured milk into mine and sprinkled some sugar in, then left it on the counter while I delivered Shane's to him. He took a sip of it when I handed it to him, this time not bothering to block my view of the Security Room. One wall was covered in cameras from top to bottom and left to right. There was a counter with a keyboard, a mouse, and a complicated looking panel with all kinds of buttons and knobs on it. I could feel the heat radiating out of the room, not sure if all of it was coming from the cameras and machines or if some of it was also coming from Shane. He gave me a slightly incredulous look after tasting the coffee.

"How'd you know I like it with milk and no sugar?" he said, raising one eyebrow.

I blinked.

"I... don't know." I said, wondering the same thing myself.

He smiled at me and gave me a quick wink, taking me by surprise.

"Thanks." he said before turning his back to me to sit his coffee cup down on the counter behind him.

I barely saw Shane for the rest of the day, only running into him when I was making lunch as he grabbed a brown paper sack out of the refrigerator, and then again when he was leaving. Sam and Rosie were already there and Rosie was helping me cook spaghetti for dinner while Sam sat on the island counter watching us and playing Angry Birds on his phone.

"See you Tuesday Sammy, Miss Wilson. Bye Rosalie." said Shane, his head poking through the swinging hinged door of the kitchen.

"Bye." We all 3 said in unison.

After dinner and dessert, homemade cinnamon rolls that Rosie had memorized the recipe for, we watched a movie before she went home for the night. Sam asked if I'd like to watch another one, but I decided to call it a night, hoping my exhaustion would allow me to turn my brain off and sleep that night. He slept downstairs in one of the spare bedrooms where Shane had been sleeping the week before. It was next to the one James slept in when he was there.

After a few hours of fading in and out of consciousness without really feeling like I had gotten any sleep, I was extremely surprised and slightly terrified to hear a loud bang coming from the bedroom beside mine. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my walking stick to brandish as a weapon, then crept as silently as I could toward the bathroom door. I heard the door on the opposite side of the bathroom open and footsteps drawing nearer as I held my breath, shaking with fear and adrenaline. I raised the cane high above my head, ready to swing it as hard as I could, then let out a squeal of mingled shock and excitement as Shane pushed the bathroom door open.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I whispered frantically.

He smiled mischievously and gently plucked the walking stick out of my raised hands.

"I had to see you. Alone." he said quietly.

There was a darkness in his eyes I had never seen before. Rather than scare me, it caused an electric tingle to shoot throughout my entire body. He was way too enticing for his own good.

"Shane! We'll get caught! I'm sure you just showed up on about 6 different cameras!" I said, trying to even out my breaths and pretend I wasn't ecstatic that he had practically broken in to see me.

"Not if the cameras were accidentally set to deactivate at 10 p.m. tonight." he said with a sly smile.

"You could get fired for that!" I said incredulously.

"Nah, it's actually a very simple mistake. There's a Sleep Mode button on the panel that will cause the cameras to deactivate at a predetermined time, which happens to be 10:00. and all you have to do to put the cameras in that mode is flip that button. It happens to be very near the button we use to save the recordings at the end of our shifts, so I could easily pass it off as a mistake."

He smiled smugly, seemingly very proud of himself.

"But what about... whatever James used to figure out where I was last night? How do you know my room isn't like bugged or something?"

Shane laughed and crossed the room to lean my cane against the wall on the other side of my night stand. I followed him, not sure where he was planning to go next. When I had walked in between him and my bed, he stepped toward me and placed his hands softly on my hips.

"Your room isn't bugged. Your car has a GPS tracker on it." he said, still grinning at me.

He was both the sexiest and the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

"So, you're sure it's safe for you to be here right now?" I asked hesitantly.

He cupped my cheek with his right hand and bent down to press his lips against mine. I immediately felt that floating feeling I had felt when he kissed me the night before. I honestly wasn't sure if it was real or a dream, and frankly I didn't care. It was wonderful either way.

"I'm sure, Kase."

"But what about -"

He leaned in and kissed me again, harder this time, stopping both my question and my breath simultaneously. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer into him as the kiss continued to increase in intensity. He took a couple of steps toward the bed, hands on my hips again, guiding me backward until my legs were against it. Then he leaned over me until we both fell lightly onto the bed, not breaking the kiss. I wished with everything in me that it could continue forever as we wiggled our way up to my pillow, Shane pushing his shoes off with his feet, then rolling me over on top of him. He opened his mouth and slid his tongue into mine as I began breathing even heavier. After a few minutes, he broke the kiss and took my face in both of his hands.

"I couldn't stay away, my love. I just couldn't."

I beamed down at him as he reached his lips up to my forehead and kissed it softly. My God, he was so amazing!

"I can't believe you're here!" I said as I slid off of him and nuzzled my head into his chest.

He kissed my forehead again and gave me a gentle squeeze with the arm that was around my left shoulder, then grabbed my left hand with his right one, linking our fingers together.

"Tell me how we got together." I said, staring into his eyes.

He smiled reminiscently and chuckled slightly.

"Okay. It's an interesting story."