Unplanned, Undestined

The Promise

"No, I don't deserve anything except you, " he said adamantly.

"You don’t understand Felix, I am not what I was fourteen years ago! I have changed a lot! I have demons which I can never overpower, I have fears which I can never let go"

"Then let me be a part of your demons, I will save you from every fear, you will overcome everything but don't say that we two don't have a chance together!" Felix implored.

"Why are you not understating this? All this... is not right Felix! You can never love me the way I love you!" I yelled, turning around, holding my stomach. It was getting messy and I was beginning to repine coming here!

When the realization hit me what I said, I turned around slowly to see him, he just stood there shell shocked with the brevity of my words. My heart was beating so fast I was afraid it might explode and I will die that very minute.

"You love me?" He whispered, the weird part was he wasn't surprised or scared by this fact, he was taken aback. His eyes held an emotion which I cannot decipher.

"Yes, I loved you and may be a part of me still do. Felix, if you didn't back off now then, I will fall for you again, this time maybe even more hopelessly. With so much difficulty I mended every piece of my broken self again when I heard the news of your marriage. It was so arduous for me. Please spare me this time." I begged him to go and leave me alone.

At this point I could make my heart believe that it was just one of my dreams where I met him and he thought there was something between us which is capable of igniting much more.

In a nano second something happened which knocked the air out of me. Felix was right in front of me, his boring into mine and slowly, he eliminated the distance between us. Keeping his hands on my cheeks, he gently pressed his lips to mine as if he was telling me whatever I felt, he felt that too. I let myself get lost in this sweet sensation of his lips wrapped around mine like a cloak.

"I love you," he said after ravishing my lips and my heart for a split second stopped beating. Did he just say those three words which my ears were dying to hear? Did he just kiss me again, ever so sweetly and tenderly like I was a rose petal, any amount of rashness will take away the nectar leaving me ruined forever.

I was stunned by his revelation. But this time never wasting another minute, raising my hand in the air, I stroked his cheeks, he immediately closed his eyes, relishing my touch which relaxed me. I let my hands wander on his forehead, then his pointed small snout, leaving a trail of my touch behind, my hands rested on his pink rough yet soft lips. He shuddered and I let my fingertips linger there for a moment. I couldn't believe those lips just a minute ago were marking their territory on my lips. I smiled and licked my lips, taking my own time, teasing him a bit, I brushed my lips to his, it was just a peck but it created so many other sensations in my body that I cannot even put my finger which lasted more than the other.

"Enough of your teasing!" Felix voice echoed in my ears tickling me and with one swift he pulled me towards him, our chests collided, my hands went straight in his short hair, his hands encircled my waist, caging me in his espousal! I was expecting him to kiss me, or something like that, but what he did was so damn cute and romantic that it made me melt in his arms.

He hugged me tightly, pressing every inch of his body to mine. Like this was all what he needed. I hugged him back with all the strength I had. I never ever want to let him go, even that thought frightens me. He makes me so vulnerable and weak that I felt putty in his hands. On one hand, I was feeling ensconce in his arms, inhaling his intoxicating cologne which was driving me crazy and on the other hand I was terrified of what will happen in the morning. I did what I thought was plausible and switched off that insecure side of me. I let myself be in the moment. It was for the first time in my life I was feeling loved, I wasn't using anyone's body for pleasure, in fact right now all I want was to bury my head in his chest and listen to his heart beating with my name on it.

I don't know how long we stood there in each other's arms, but it felt like hours, it was Felix who loosened his hold and then keeping all my fallen strands behind my ears, he kissed my earlobes, and with that whispered I love you in both the ears, which felt like he was promising me to be with me for the rest of our lives.

I didn't dare to move an inch and let him do what he was doing. He removed the thin strap of my right shoulder and kissed my shoulder blades, did exactly the same on the other side.

Soon he found the zipper of my dress and my dress pooled at my feet. I was standing in front him almost fully naked, yet I was excited about what was coming next. He kissed my nape, bit my neck, leaving a hickey there which made me smile.

His hands were creating its own magic on my body, and I wanted to savor his touch forever, like it was the last time we were this close. Brushing that thought aside, I worked on his shirt buttons. But it was futile, they were so damn loose that the moment I slightly stretched the buttons ripped apart.

"Eager are we?" Felix said and I started blushing profusely!

"You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on" he said as he lowered his head and started working his lips on my collarbone.

I shivered when my n*****s hardened as his hands pinch one of them. I swallowed hard, my knees were giving up and I was breathing hard with his assault. He lowered his head even more, kissed my navel, flicked his tongue over that and I moaned, my hands found his taut shoulders, I held onto them. As every second passed it was getting difficult for me bear the pain which was settling in my belly making it hard for me to resist this man. But he was busy testing my patience by exploring me, licking every inch of me.

"Felix, please" i said with my eyes closed as he lowered my lace panties and his finger found my core. His assault on my body never stopped, for about one minute I was in complete ecstacy, not knowing exactly what is happening. That was when Felix stood up and kissed me, I tasted my arousal on his lips, and gulped hard, knowing how turned on I was.

Scooping me in his arms, he lowered me on the soft mattress and positioned himself above me.

"I have waited for this moment for so long! Sometimes I pleasured myself, thinking it's you who is doing dirty things to me! And f**k, now I have you, right beneath me, panting hard." He whispered as his hands did wonders between my thighs and I trembled. No one has done this to me ever. No one has made me so hot. Jesus, what am I doing, it's so wrong, yet it feels so right!

"Felix, stop." I said and he complied with questioning eyes.

"I want you to know that... I have had relations with other men. You are not my first" saying this I looked away from his gaze. I don't know why I said this, but before this, I had to tell him this, it felt like I was betraying him for some reason.

"You don't have to be ashamed of this Amy, yes, we are not each other's first, but we are going to be each others last." He said kissing my forehead and tears started to flow out of my eyes freely.

I was being over sensitive but He was doing this to me. All these years, I wanted this moment to come, I dreamed of all this happening so many times that now I have lost the count, and now that it is there in front of me, nothing matters except this.

He took all my insecurities away by claiming every inch of me, nobody has explored my body like he did, I clutched the bed sheet tightly, let it crumple with my assault on it, what matters were his lips, his cologne, his body weight, nothing else.

Soon I heard the zipper of his pants and again panic creep inside me, we are seriously doing this! Thousands of questions rummaged through my mind, hundreds of insecurities nudged me, but one look at his calm face and I was relaxed again. Not taking his eyes off me, he filled me with his length, making me jump a little. The pain was excruciating for a second, but then it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt. It was all a blur after what happened, but I know he took it all slowly, giving me enough time to get used to his size and it took few minutes to adjust him inside me, with my eyes close, it all looked blissful and it indeed it was...

It was almost six in the morning when I was fully awake, but Felix cuddled me from behind, his legs wrapped around my legs, his arms rested on belly and his face buried in my shoulders. It felt surreal to wake up beside a man whom you not only love, but he also loves you back.

"You know all this long, we both were on the same page. We could have avoided our suffering if anyone would of us had the courage to talk about our feelings" Felix said with his eyes closed, making my turn towards him.

He looked so handsome and childlike sleeping like he had no tension in the world. My fingers made its way to his soft hair and I started stroking them, he smiled which made me relax.

"I am sorry Amy, for being such a coward. If I had this clue that our feeling is mutual, things would have been different." He said taking my hands in his.

"Everything happens only when the right time comes. I am equally at fault here." I said reassuring him by kissing his forehead, then his eyes, followed by his nose, cheeks and in the last I was about to kiss his lips, but stopped myself before I could do that, it was too late though, he stole a kiss and hugged my waist.

"Felix, I am scared about all this, it is happening too fast." I frowned thinking about our respective priorities.

"I am scared too, but with you by my side, I can solve any jigsaw puzzle." He said squeezing my hand.

"And, Amy, when I said I love you, I mean it. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I will never leave you. This is my promise." Looking into my eyes, which only depicted the love he has for me, he said.

"What if something terrible happened?"

"Then we will fight with it together, but will not fall apart. Trust me and our love, things will work out. Give us a shot." He pleaded and I nodded my head in positive.

"Felix, I have never been in a relationship before...'

"You made me the luckiest guy in the world today." He said with his eyes dancing with so much happiness that my lips stretched into a huge grin and then he sealed our lips together with the promise of never giving up on me.

Life is amazing yet full of adventures, just when I thought about giving up hope of ever seeing him again, he showed up in front of me, said sweet things to me and not only that ignited a want of having a future with him which until yesterday didn't exist. I hope things go well, hope that this one lasts forever...