Unplanned, Undestined

The Kiss

I never personally doubted his choice and he again proved my trust when I stepped into the restaurant. It was beautiful, elegant, exuded gentry, but one thing which was creeping me out was his intense gaze at me. I was looking everywhere except at him. It was lethal for my well being if I let myself entranced my his not so sober gaze. It was awakening every fiber of my being. I noticed the dim lights, the peaceful ambience which was soothing yet it was terrifying. People were talking unanimously, laughing, some in the corner was even biting each other which of course wasn't helping at all.

His steady gaze made me wet, I stick my legs together. Now that I was sitting on the creamy designer soft chair right opposite to him, I repined accepting his offer in the first place. That was too childish of me to say yes in an instant without thinking or calculating anything at all. We both were silent, as if we had nothing to talk about, in the mean time I noticed the lavish chandeliers right above my head, the shimmering curtains, adding to its beauty and the immaculate carpet, which was soft against my heels clad foot.

"I am divorced." His words caught me off guard, breaking my trance, that I was forced to look at his impeccable face. His eyes were scrutinizing my every move, his head bowed slightly, apologetically.

"What?" I asked, baffled! When I asked him before he said he and his wife are doing fine! Why he lied to me!

"Why?" I interrupted again, before he could say anything.

"Does it matter?" His question made me cuss from inside.

Yes, it does matter! It matters so f*****g much that I cannot even tell you the ache I am feeling right now, right below my belly knowing that I can never have you the way I want.

"Yeah, you are right, it doesn't matter." I said covering all my emotions, looking rather emotionless.

Silence surrounded us again, It was tough to be with him physically, but mentally we both were lost in our own chain of thoughts. The waiter finally arrived with the menu of wines and without asking me, he ordered the most expensive wine and more than that ordered a full bottle of it.

"So, I take it you are filthy rich." I said the moment the poor waiter shell shocked departed.

A melodious laugh filled my ears and I bet my ass, I could do anything to hear that voice again. The way his hair fell back and his pupils dilated, wanted me to just grab his coat and kiss him right there, but somehow I restrained my hormones from turning too horny.

"Well, I never was poor" He countered back.

"How are you?" He asked just when I was about to reply him.

"I am good Felix, why are you asking me this?" I said, keeping my both hands on the table, waited patiently for him to answer.

"I want to know whether you are happy or not," He said flatly, like his words didn't matter at all! It hurt every inch of me when he said those words.

"Does it matter?" I fired back in his own way which made him smirk.

The way his eyes bored into mine, it seemed like he was seeing right through me. Like I was all naked in front of him, all my demons that I have buried deep inside my heart were now fresh again with new wounds.

"What was that guy's name whom you introduced me this morning?" He asked me pensively like he was thinking too hard to remember his name.

"Jack"

"Yeah, do you like him?" His question made my heart race, I jumped slightly from my seat when his words registered in my mind.

"Ahem, I certainly don't hate him. But yeah, he is a nice guy and he cares for me" I said and suddenly Jack's cute face flashed in front of me but sadly I don't feel a thing about him. From my side, it was indeed pure s*x, nothing else!

"I have seen the way that man looks at you. It shouldn't surprise you if I say he may be in Love with you"

"What rubbish are you talking about?" No way in hell, I am discussing Jack's feelings with him!

"I..."

This time the waiter interrupted him and served us our food, the intrusion was welcomed from my side at least! I don't understand for what the hell reason he is so concerned about my life while until yesterday he didn't even know whether I was alive or not!

"How long were you two together?" I ask the question which was annoying me from the moment I came to know that he is divorced.

"For two years, things were pretty good, I mean we both were trying to make that marriage work but it falls apart. We both weren't enough for each other. Differ at every point." He said, wiping his mouth with the white handkerchief.

"Oh, so are you seeing someone?"

"No, not until I am sure this time." He eyed me as if judging my reaction, but for some reason I thought to not respond, to not show any emotions which will be better for both of us. It’s not like we are going to meet again!

"That's good," I said as I sipped the crystal white wine, which tasted sweet and the alcohol was just the right amount.

We were almost finished when the check arrived and I was about to give my debit card when he stopped me, handing the waiter his card which infuriated me.

"Don't think that you are paying for this dinner!" I said a little too rudely.

"I know, you hate it when someone else gives your share. You can give me yours later!" He said with a huge boyish grin, which made me wonder, why haven't I notice before how young he looked even being in his mid thirties, he looked so beautiful in gray three piece suit.

"Yeah, You better do that." I said, standing from my chair and draping my black shawl across my shoulders.

"Let's go for a walk" Felix whispered in my ears, coming close to me, my hands fell to my sides as he effortlessly, draped the soft cloth over me, his hands brushed my arms which made me shiver violently.

My body reacted to his touch almost instantly making him smirk. I couldn't say yes or no, before I knew it, we were out of the hotel and a cold wind made my insides quiver, yet I felt so ensconce when he pulled me towards himself, his hand on my waist, holding me close. My body fit in his frame just right, like it was meant to be like this. At that moment, everything was happening so smoothly that I barely had a time to rethink of my actions.

"Back in high school when I first saw you, you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen" He said which made me look into his eyes. He was staring back at me. In the last three hours we have shared so many eye locks that now it seemed natural to look into his deep eyes, to get lost in them, it all made sense.

"Yeah, sure," I snorted, pulling myself a little away, but I was brought back again where I was, as he didn't let me move an inch.

"This is true, It used to boil my blood when I saw you talking to other boys." He said with a rough edge to his tone.

"This is so not true! You were always busy in giving attention to all the girls except me!" I accused and he stopped abruptly, which made me collide with his chest, which was hard as rock yet somewhere beneath it was soft.

"Yeah, because I thought you weren't interested in me! And why would you be interested in a guy like me anyway." He said removing the fallen strands from my face which were blocking his view.

"Any girl would be interested in you! So was I, too much I guess. " I muttered the last line incoherently, frowning at the mere thought that he assumed things, that weren't even true.

"I think we should head back," I said firmly, this all was too much.

It was sucking the air out of my lungs, it was as if I was trudging in the path full of nails, piercing My skin, slowly yet efficaciously!

He didn't say anything, in fact, turned us around and we started heading towards the hotel, which momentarily relaxed me but his taut hold on my waist told me something else. His whole body was tensed, was he trying to indicate all this while that he liked me? That he wanted something to happen between us? That can't be true! And why after f*****g 14 years, he is telling me all this? Maybe that's the alcohol, which is talking!

"Okay, bye " I said, shifting my weight from his side. I felt secure the moment we entered the hotel gates, when we were outside I was scared to death of all the possibilities making their way in my head. Now that dreadful time of saying goodbye has arrived, which my brain was ready for but my heart was on the verge of shattering into billions of pieces again.

"No, let me walk you to your door." He said and without waiting for my answer, pressed the button of the elevator.

Exactly after one minute of silence the door opened with a ding and the terrifying part is about to come. It was all empty! We both will be in too much close proximity for the next few seconds.

As I stepped inside and he pressed number three as we both were staying on the same floor, the doors closed. I bit my lips hard, so hard that I tasted my own blood. My body was completely turned on and it was exuding tension! I peeked to see him, but he caught me staring at him. I shifted a bit that now I was standing as far away from him as possible. The elevator opened at first floor, nobody entered to my dismay, it started descending onto the next floor.

"You know what Amy, f**k it. " He cursed and what happened next made my eyes too big that I was sure my pretty eyes will pop out of its socket.

In that instant his lips were on mine, kissing me, it took me a second to realize what was actually happening! His rough lips were kissing my moist lips like his life depended on them. His hands made its way to my back, our bodies were pressed together, too much that I was afraid whether the air will pass through or not but it didn't matter. What mattered was the sensation of his lips ravishing my lips so earnestly, like he was savoring every inch of them.

"Oh sweet Lord, you are so f*****g beautiful! From the moment I have seen you, I was dying to do this, when i saw you in this dress, it took everything to control myself!" He whispered against my lips making me close my eyes.

Nobody in the last fourteen years has kissed me like this. It jolted every nerve of my system. My hands found his hair, I pulled his hair earning a groan, that was the sexiest voice I have ever heard! He bit my lip which made me yelp, which was his chance to slide his tongue inside.

At that moment, nothing matter, his tongue inside my mouth was creating havoc, the ache in my belly increased. His erection was pressed against my stomach, I could feel he was so turned on.

I don't know for how much time we were kissing each other, but we both stopped when we heard the loud ding of the elevator. I was blushing profusely and he was smiling so damn cutely that I wanted to kiss him again, in the same manner.

When the realization hit me of what happened a few seconds ago, knocked the breath out of me! Had we just kissed each other? Did we just make out?

I hurriedly made my way towards the direction of my room. I didn't know how to react, what to say, it was all just too much.

"Wait, Amy "

I heard him say, but that only made me increase my pace and within in a few seconds I was standing in front of my room, I immediately scanned my card and opened my room. Felix was just behind me catching his breath.

"Amy, I am sorry, it was so impulsive of me. I lost control," he expound as he entered my room without asking my permission.

I was too tired to argue and too exhausted to say anything to him.

"Will you please at least look at me?"

I didn't respond, I removed my heels, nonchalantly and went in the bathroom to wash my face. When I entered again, he was pacing.

"I think you should go Felix" I said, hiding my every feeling.

"What, no! I am not going anywhere unless I clarify to you that whatever happened in the elevator was not just casual, it was something else." He said coming to my side, holding my arms, making me look at him.

"Why are you doing this? Why in never fourteen years you tried to mend things between us? Why now Felix? " I said, feeling helpless keeping my tears at bay which were threatening to fall any minute.

"It was the huge mistake of my life, Amy I... I always liked you, a lot. I married to get over you, I know that was the stupidest thing possible ever, but that didn't help, and today when I saw you, it all came back over again. It's difficult for me to control my feelings." He said coming close to me that we were nose to nose.

I was tongue tied at that moment. All these years I was waiting for him to say all this, and now that he has said this, my heart was racing at an incredible rate. I was scared to death about all this. Yet it felt good, too good to just let it go.

His lips brushed against mine and I shuddered. He kissed me lightly on my lips, gently, once, twice, when the third time he was about to deepen the kiss, I took a step back.

"No, it's not right Felix. All these years I... You deserve so much more Felix, I am not the right person for you to be with. It's better if we end it right here. " I said and a lone tear escaped my eyes.