Loving the Dragon King

Chapter 4: Regret

Cianan’s POV

It’s been a very long day. Between meetings and running around trying to sort out conflicts, I was near exhaustion by the time 7 p.m. rolled around, but I had made it clear to her that she was to be present at dinner.

I went to my room to change into something a little more comfortable; dark blue jeans and a heather gray t-shirt. I made my way to the dining hall. I could smell the food being prepared from a mile away. It smelled like venison stew, my favorite.

Dagon, one of my guards, opened the dining hall door for me, slightly bowing his head in respect as I stepped in the room. To my surprise, Alanna was already sitting at the table next to my seat.

She was wearing a light blue dress that had only one thick strap, exposing a little bit of her chest and neckline, which gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. It hugged her body softly, hiding her beautiful figure. She had a Dutch braid on the left side of her hair that was cut off by a messy, low bun in the back. Breath taking.

I could sense she was a little on edge as I entered the room, so I gingerly walked on the opposite side of the table where she wasn’t sitting to keep her at ease.

I don’t regret what I did early today, but I was a little disappointed in myself. It seemed like a good idea at first, yet maybe I should have approached it in a different way.

I took a seat at the head of the table, where one of the maids poured me a generous amount of red wine.

“Thank you, Raina.”

She bowed her head and walked back into the kitchen. Alanna hung her head low, but spoke up. “Good evening, my king. How was your day?”

I must have really scared her. She has never asked me how my day was. Granted I had barely seen her in the two weeks we have been together.

“Good evening, Alanna.” I stopped and stared at her. I couldn’t put words together. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked. I wanted to apologize for earlier today. I was trying to take Derek’s advice and show her kindness and well, I’m working on the patience part.

“How was your day, my king?” She repeated.

“You don’t have to call me “my king” after everything. Cianan will do just fine. You are my Queen after all. You have more rights to call me by my name than anyone in the kingdom.”

She looked up at me with a fainted smile. Was this progress or was she faking it?

“Ummm my day was… good.” I said with a smile. “ Very busy unfortunately, but glad I get to relax for a bit. How did your lessons go today?”

She took a sip of wine and nodded her head. “They went alright, I guess. It’s very different from what I am used to. It will take time to adjust, but I should do just fine.”

I don’t know if I should be worried by how much she just said or not. It’s the most I’ve heard her speak, speak respectfully, since I met her.

“It will definitely take time, but I trust you’ll do your best.” I reached for her hand, but was rejected the physical touch.

I was a little frustrated at this, but I kept thinking about what Derek had told me last night. Soon, a few maids came out of the kitchen with bowls of venison stew, warm bread, and roasted vegetables. It all looked and smelled delicious as usual. The dining hall doors opened up and Derek walked in with his wife, Saoirse.

“Good evening, your Grace. I hope we didn’t keep you waiting.” Saoirse beamed with a smile. “Oh my apologies, I didn’t realize you were sitting there, my Queen. Please forgive me for not acknowledging you.”

“I haven’t exactly been present these past couple of weeks. I apologize for that, and please, Alanna is just fine. I’m not used to the whole title thing yet. It doesn’t feel right at the moment.” She said shyly, but it seemed like Alanna had taken a liking to Saoirse quickly.

“May I sit next to you, Alanna?” Saoirse asked.

“Oh… ummm… yes, yes please sit. I would like that very much.”

Who was this new person? It’s been 12 hours since her flying lesson, and she’s a completely different person. F***. Did I scare her to that badly?

Derek leaned into my ear. “It seems like whatever your idea was worked quickly.”

I frowned at him. “It was a horrible idea. I may have given her a… lesson.” I took my cup of wine and downed the whole thing.

“What kind of lesson? Did you two talk?” He took a large spoonful of stew to his mouth while impatiently waiting for me to respond.

“Umm… well there was some scream, but I think it did the trick.”

“What trick? Come one Cianan. Tell me.”

I sighed to myself. “ I gave her a flying… lesson” I signaled for Raina to bring me more wine then took the cup to my face and kept it there for a while. Derek just looked at me in utter disbelief.

Derek and I were childhood best friends. His father was the commanding officer and right hand man of my father, so naturally him and I spent a lot of time together and grew close.

I could feel Derek state into my soul. “You did what?” He whispered. Luckily, Saoirse was talking Alanna’s ear off while they enjoyed their meals, so she wasn’t paying attention to Derek or I.

“Cianan, have you lost your mind?! Do you want her to hate you even more?” He whispered angrily.

“Mind how you speak to me, Derek. I know what I did was wrong, but she needed to be taught a lesson.”

“And that lesson was what? Obey or die?”

“Enough.” I Said through my teeth. “I know I messed up, but she’s better now isn’t she? I don’t know what I was thinking. I was thinking about a lot of things.”

I sat back in my chair and sighed. This caught Alanna’s attention. “Is everything alright?”

“Do you have to be so nosy? If the matter concerned you, I would have addressed it towards you.” F***. My anger was getting to me. I was angry with myself, but I’ve always lashed out at others.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intervene. You just looked upset.” I could see tears forming in her eyes. I guess I wasn’t the nicest to her or anyone for that matter. My father had always told me to build myself up so that no one could tear my down. I needed to put on an act so people respected me and looked up to me. He died when I was 10 years old, so I had to learn how to be a king through books and trial and error.

“I am done with my meal and would like to retire for the night, if that is ok. I have a pretty busy day tomorrow and want to be well rested.” Her head was low and she didn’t make eye contact. I could feel Derek and Saoirse staring at me; both upset that I had used my anger on her.

I cleared my throat and sat up in my seat, gazing at her sorrow. “I would want you well rested, too. You may go and rest.”

She nodded her head, avoiding eye contact and exited the hall. I felt ashamed, but she needs to know her place. God, I just want to hold her. I’m having an internal battle with myself once she leaves, trying to make sense of right and wrong.

“If I were you, your Grace, I would go and speak to her. Thank you for dinner. We must be on our way.” I avoided eye contact with Derek and hand signaled him that he could leave. Derek walked around to Saoirse and gave her his hand. She helped her up from his seat and kissed her snowy white hand, then led her out of the hall.

I watched them leave, almost feeling jealous about their relationship. “F***” I grumbled, placing my hands over my face then folding them on the table. I sat there contemplating my choices, then aggressively moved my chair away from the table and walked out of the dining hall.