Loving the Dragon King

Chapter 5: Mixed emotions

Alanna’s POV

I wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could. He is so confusing. First he tells me I run my mouth and show him nothing but disrespect, then he yells at me and shows me disrespect when all I was doing was making sure he was ok.

I was trying. After what he pulled this morning, it humbled me. I knew I needed to start realizing I wasn’t getting out of the godforsaken arrangement and try to be better. But how could I when he only ever treated me like that, like I was something to play around with until he lost interest; like someone he could beat with his words to make himself feel better.

Once I knew he couldn’t see me, I hurried to my room. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. Why was I so upset? I should have expected that this was how it was going to be. I be the obedient wife and he be the a**hole king who got everything he wanted and did whatever pleases him. Where does he think he can treat someone like that? Was his father ever cruel to him? Did his mother not show him love?

My mind is racing with all of these thoughts. Why me is all I could conclude by the time I got to my room. Why did I have to try to change while he still acted like a jerk? I could punch his beautiful, stupid face for treating me like dirt.

My father raised me better than this. Why was I letting him treat me this way? Oh wait, it’s because mister 6’6 red wings over here can let me plummet to my death if I dare speak out of turn. God he is so frustrating! It’s like I’m dealing with myself. I’ll admit, I am stubborn. My father was stubborn, so naturally I learned it from him, but he always taught me to never let anyone get to me; stand up for myself, which was quit uncommon for a lady to do, especially her husband. F*** the tradition of woman obey husband.

I slammed my door and paced back and forth in the center of my room. “I’m going to tell him off. I don’t care the consequence. I will not be treated like this.” I told myself, even as the tears tried to escape my eyes, I held them back. They were frustrated tears, not sad tears. I want to make this work because what other choice do I have, but we need to see eye to eye.

“I’m going to March right back down there and tell him. Come on Alanna, be that brave, strong girl you were raised to be.” I stopped and brought myself back down from my frustrated high. As I approached the door, I started to shake a little. I knew what could happen if I got mouthy again, but I needed to take my chances.

I turned the knob and flew the door open in a frenzy to go speak with him. But as I tried to exit my room, Cianan was already standing there.

“Can I come in?”