Colliding Rulers

Storm (3)

Gevia's P.O.V

Alex's movement shifted, and I don't mean in a physical way. Alex looked rather sad and bothered. Were they thinking of something grave? The solemn expression on Alex's face, placed a hole inside of me. Like a dark abyss, or even a black hole. It was eating me from the inside.

Alex's expression dragged my emotions with it. The ambiance inside the room changed. How gloomy was the weather? I can't tell the difference between inside my room and outside the house. The silence that Alex embraced, did it hold meaning? Alex's eyes seemed far away, and their mind seemed unreachable.

I know for sure that Alex can't hear me no matter how many times I call out to them. I wanted to comfort Alex. I want to know what they're thinking. I wanted to know what Alex has been through. I know the mind mostly plays tricks, and that if it starts, no one can really exit the train of overthinking unscathed. There are penalties.

I want to somehow ease Alex's worries. Was it Alejandro? Even Joshua was surprised about their strange relationship. They don't seem like a family. Not even in my eyes.

I wanted to let Alex know that I was here even though they didn't come to me for help. I grabbed Alex's hands and pulled them onto me. I scooted a bit above, letting Alex face my breasts instead. Alex didn't say anything, but Alex did wrap their arms around my waist. They buried their head in my chest even further and tightened their grip on my waist.

The soft and steady breathing of Alex sounded like they were asleep. But Alex's heartbeat was saying something entirely different. It was fast and loud. As if Alex was running a marathon. I combed their silky smooth hair. It was so smooth that my fingers didn't get tangled up while combing it.

"How are you feeling?" I lowered my voice a bit, husky in a sense. I didn't want to startle Alex.

It's as if Alex came to me as a child, broken and injured by the environment. I wanted to soothe Alex, and startling them wouldn't be of any help. The soft sound of the rain hitting my glass window added to the comfort. Our bodies provide each other with the right amount of warmth to survive the cold. I never knew it felt this nice to lie beside someone.

I felt at ease.

"Better." a smile appeared on my lips. I felt happy that they were feeling a bit better.

"I can't have you frowning on me now." Alex giggled and I felt their entire body shake as they did so.

"Why not?"

"My room is full of happiness. I don't want you tainting it with your sadness."

Alex paused.

"Can I be the little spoon?" I choked out a laugh. What the hell is Alex talking about? Big spoon? Small spoon? I couldn't quite get it. Was there something different if you were in a different position?

"Uh, sure?"

We had to awkwardly shift into the position that Alex wanted. I was hugging Alex's muscular build from behind while Alex kept on giggling in front of me, like a little kid. Were they that happy to be the little spoon? I could never understand such a thing. I shook my head in disbelief.

"Thanks,"

"What a weird thing to ask for, but okay."

Silence engulfed us again.

"How are you?" Alex asked.

Well, aside from me not understanding what these feelings meant, I also don't understand who I was in your life and who you are to mine. I am very confused at the moment and this started when you kissed me that faithful day. So, to answer your question, yes, yes I am fine. Thank you for asking.

Of course, I didn't tell Alex that. I'd be stupid to actually say those words. Not even Joshua knew these things. Unless I was sure that Alex wasn't toying with me, then my confusions are for me to understand. I wouldn't dare open up to either of them. God, that would be embarrassing. What if these feelings were just something so ordinary and that I just caused a ruckus by confiding in someone?

The shame it would feel would be unbearable.

"I thought we were past that?"

"Mhm, that's true. But I want to ask. How your day has been. How was the entire month of not hearing from me? Did you realize something when I wasn't with you?"

How has my day been? Aren't those questions for couples? The word couple set my heart pounding aggressively inside my rib cage. I cleared my throat.

Please, don't let Alex feel this rhythmic beat inside my chest. Please. Please. I prayed silently.

"What are you on about?"

"You keep dodging my questions."

"Nice, you noticed." I should really shut up now. I need to communicate seriously with Alex, otherwise I would call myself stupid.

"Damn, what's with you?"

Alex made a swift movement and now they were facing me. The closeness of our faces wasn't new to me, but it still makes me breathless. Inches away from each other's lips. Alex's orbs were making it hard for me to lie, much less hide away from them. I tightened my jaw, trying to shut myself up.

"I don't know?" I answered through gritted teeth.

"How'd you know I needed a hug?"

"You looked lost, and without life." Alex smiled, but it was a different kind of smile.

"Don't smile like that."

"Hmm? Like what?"

I pinched both of Alex's cheeks, pulling on them. Their cheeks were really squishy and warm, like a hot compress. The only difference was that they weren't damp.

"Like you just lost a fight or something."

"But what if I did? Even before I started it?"

I can't say that I wasn't curious as to what it was, but I can't really bare my fangs into Alex's private life. There was a reason why Alex was keeping it a secret. If I ask right now, something might change. Alex might withdraw from me. I don't want the same thing to happen again when I was with Joshua. I overstepped. That was something that I will regret for the rest of my life.

"Then find another way."

"Another way?" their eyebrows knitted together, indicating that they were confused.

"People always seem to get that 'lost' feeling when they see a deadend. But," I trailed off.

"But?" they asked.

"But there's always another way of handling things. There might be a small light from there, where you can slowly trudge your way."

I don't know where these words of wisdom were coming from. I've never really applied those emotionally nor have I ever said those to anyone, but I feel like Alex needed to hear those. I don't know if it will ever help Alex in any way.

"Thank you, Gevia," my name when Alex said it, felt so different. It was the first time that Alex called me by my name. It felt so different from Joshua saying it, daddy and my teachers. It made butterflies erupt inside my stomach.

"Psh, something so simple. b***h, shut up. I thought you were smart." Alex laughed. That sexy laugh of theirs, I could listen to them all day.

"I am. Aren't I still about to snatch that crown from you?" I shoved Alex's face away from me, but Alex grabbed it and kissed it with so much affection. I couldn't blink.

It was always one thing after another with Alex. I can't seem to let my guard down when I'm with them. They keep surprising me with affectionate gestures like these. Geez. This person will be the death of me.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Psh, as if."

"What's with you and 'psh'?"

"What's with you and your questions, huh? Can't I just be me? I'm into background music, okay?"

"I'm not complaining. I'm merely asking. Those are two completely different things. Damn," Alex faked being disappointed in me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Do you want me to kick you out?"

"I have already found a way to sneak in. What made you think that I wouldn't do the same?"

"Can you shut up for one moment?"

Alex smirked.

"Make me?" my eyebrow raised on its own. They were obviously provoking me with something so obvious, yet I couldn't find the will to stop myself from lunging forward.

"Is that a threat?" I slowly lifted my body using my arm as my support.

"No," their eyes followed me as I moved around.

"A request?" now I am sitting completely.

"No,"

My hair fell to my shoulder with a bang. Alex lightly pushed my hair behind my shoulder and sat beside me with their eyes half-open.

"A challenge..?" Alex leaned in. I thought they were going to kiss me, but they weren't. They leaned in to my ear and blew on it gently, creating a stimulus.

"What do you think, baby?"