Colliding Rulers

Storm (2)

Gevia's P.O.V

"So, what do you want to do?"

Alex turned to me with a sultry expression, shifted uncomfortably beside me. They looked at me with such a pained expression. I don't know why, but my heart suddenly ached with Alex. There was something that Alex was hiding.

"Tell me, since I'm making amends. What do you usually do when you're in the house, and-" I laughed. Why was Alex so fidgety and agitated?

It wasn't like this was our first time in the same room, and only us two in the room. We've already done more than one could call something casual. It was funny how Alex, who was usually the more composed one when we're together, is now acting so differently. Alex averted their eyes, obviously avoiding mine. It was quite amusing and entertaining.

Should I tease Alex?

"A movie, thanks. I want to chill, like the weather."

It naturally came out of my mouth. Things that I wanted to do by myself or with a friend. Was Alex a friend? No, you don't taste your friends. What was Alex in my life? Who is Alex to me? I refuse to believe that we're friends, and we're basically far from the word 'enemies'.

"Alright,"

I am once again reminded that my life is a mess because of Alex, but even though it was a mess, I was happy. Was I? Well, I'm certainly experiencing new things and I can say for sure that it made me smile. Every day, I find myself searching for it if it wasn't met; like Alex's kisses.

Alex stood up and went to my flat screen TV. They looked around, searching for something. While Alex was searching for something, I took this time to re-assess how this all happened and when it started?

I hugged my knees, burying my head. Thoughts filled my mind, full of Alex. Was it like this before? Did I? Did I find Alex's presence soothing before? It was calming. Alex's entire presence, somehow I like it when they're close to me.

"Uh," Alex murmured, still helplessly looking around for something.

"What are you looking for?" the cold weather was getting to me.

I just want to call Alex and tell them to come here and hug me until I feel warm. Until I feel okay, and not alone. But I can't. I shouldn't. I don't want to be a sentimental b***h. Are we f**k buddies? I mean, we're basically like that, right? We don't talk, and we only search for each other when it comes to s*x and if we're aroused.

We've never had one proper conversation, except for that one night when Alejandro and Alex were talking that somehow turned into a misunderstanding. We only ever seek out each other when it's s*x. That fact alone is enough to say that we really do seem like f**k buddies.

"Remote?" Alex answered, unsure if that was really what they were talking about.

"We can just use my laptop. I don't usually watch movies on TV." Alex stopped wiggling around and looked at me with their mouth agape.

"Oh," was all they said before looking around again.

Once Alex spotted my laptop easily, they grabbed it and went to my side.

"Password?" Alex asked.

"I don't do.."

But before I could finish my sentence and remember what I had for my wallpaper, it was already too late. Alex had already opened my laptop. They froze on the spot when they saw my wallpaper. I bit my lip and snatched my laptop away, clicking on the Netflix app as hastily and as hard as I could.

I gritted my teeth, embarrassed. Alex didn't say anything, which I was thankful for. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks.

I can't believe I forgot what my wallpaper was! Stupid! I scolded myself, wanting to cry and bury myself under the ground and perhaps not wake up. Out of all the people, Alex had to be the one to see that. And to think that I only changed it until recently.

Oh my gosh! I want to f*****g cry.

"I saw nothing," Alex said. Were they trying to calm me down?

It was working.

"Yes, please. Thank you,"

"Mhm,"

What a chivalrous thing to say.

"What do you want to watch?" Alex asked, trying to make me forget. I pursed my lips before answering.

"You can say what you want."

Alex grabbed my hand and blew hot air on it. My heart started racing. Did they feel that my hand was freezing? I looked at Alex as Alex continued on warming up my hand. Their hot pink lips opened and closed. I was tempted to kiss Alex right then and there. I can't seem to remember if I initiated a kiss.

Did I?

"Say what I want?" Alex didn't look up at me when they asked that. They kept blowing on my hand still, even though it wasn't freezing anymore.

I felt fuzzy inside. There it was again. My heart suddenly raced, and my face suddenly felt hot. My mind goes blank, while my body floats. I started to see colors. Vibrant colors in my tainted, bloody world. I felt at home.

"Mhm, you clearly saw what that was."

Alex grabbed my other hand and blew on it as well. Did Alex plan on keeping me warm? They could just cuddle with me to do that a bit faster.

Stupid, Alex.

I slapped myself internally. Did I just really acknowledge that I wanted a hug from Alex? I bit my lips. I couldn't bear it any longer. I looked away. A plan to stop all these weird things from happening. I needed to conduct an experiment on myself to test what these feelings meant.

"I'm not entirely convinced that that was you."

My entire body relaxed when Alex let go of those words. They looked up at me and pushed my laptop away from my lap. Alex scooted closer to my body and got under the covers- stopping midway.

"Can I close the curtains?" I nodded my head.

Alex stood up and closed all the curtains before getting under the covers. They lifted up the end of the covers and smiled, signaling that I should go under with them. I giggled, thinking that this was a childish way to ask someone, but still went with it. Guess I'm childish too.

"What about the movie?" I asked Alex. Alex just grinned before pulling me closer to their body.

I felt their warmth get to my body.

"Don't think about anything else. Just enjoy this moment."

Did Alex wait for an opportunity to be alone with me? How did Alex know that I was going to be alone in this storm? Were they worried about me? I want to ask, but again, I don't know if I have the right. All these questions will never make it out of my mouth. They will forever be stuck on the tip of my tongue.

"Are you commanding me?" Alex rolled their eyes,

"Pfft. Now, this is the Gevia that I know." I flicked their forehead.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you easily get cold?" they avoided the question.

I know what Alex meant. Not only were the people around me saying that I had changed, I too noticed that. I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing though. If Alex were to ask me what influenced my sudden change, I wouldn't be able to answer.

Although I did manage to pinpoint two possible causes. Only two people have come into my life until recently; Joshua and Alex. Either of them has got to be the reason for my sudden change. The softness that even I can't grasp, nor thought that I was capable of being.

My rock hard shell, and bitchy side were slowly breaking. Does that also mean that I am going to get hurt more easily now? Now that I've let people inside my life, do they share the happiness and pain as well?

"How'd you know?" the side of Alex's lips turned upward. A genuine smile was plastered on their lips. I couldn't speak, but I was stuck staring at their lips.

What a beautiful smile. I couldn't help but think of why I'm only seeing this now. A different smile. One that rarely appears. Alex looked so at peace at the moment.

"Your body was shaking and your hands were cold."

Keen eyes. Was Alex this attentive?

"You're just imagining things." I replied coldly. I don't want Alex to know that I'm easily touched.

I have to remember that we're only f**k buddies.

"Just like how you easily shrugged me off when you heard me earlier?"

"I don't get what you mean."

"Hmm," Alex trailed off, wearing a teasing smile.

"Do you miss me that much that you started hearing my voi-" I hurriedly covered Alex's mouth with my hand. I could feel Alex's smile widen on my palm before kissing it.

I hurriedly retracted my hand. I felt their lips move! I need to calm down. I need to breathe normally.

"Let's not."