Ceaseless love

Episode 9

Ava's Point Of View,

I was already tired. But somehow I managed to go out and get a cab to college. I was not worried about my car. It would be standing outside of the bar or maybe Lucas would take care of it. I know him so well. He did not leave it just like that, and I also did not even feel like driving. I just do not know why I feel like I do not have any strength left in my body. I just never felt that tired for so long, god knows what the hell he did to me last night. Soon I reached the college and headed inside. After paying for the cab, I went into the staff room to fill out the formalities.

"Good morning Miss pretty", I heard a familiar voice and I turned my head and I smiled at him.

"Good morning Mr overactor", I said to Mr. James as he laughed at my joke. He is my friend, the true friend I talked about. We are really close friends. He helped me a lot. He even helped me to get this job, so that is why I just respect him so much, but no one knows that we are close friends because I did not want anyone to think wrong about us. So we kept our friendship a secret at the workplace.

"Ava, what happened to you", he asked me all of a sudden as he came close to me. Luckily there was no one, so I just took a deep breath.

"James, someone will see us or hear us. You should not talk like that here. I do not trust anyone here, if someone found out about us then everyone would get the wrong idea", I said, but he just put his hand on my head and I just took a step back.

"Ava, you know so well that I do not care about anyone, I do not f*****g care what others say or think. I only have a few special people in my life and you are one of them. So I do not care what anyone says. I will do what I should do, and you also should not think about others. Now tell me why you look so pale. What happened to you? Did you not sleep well last night", he asked me. He was looking so worried and I would feel so guilty because there was no way that I could tell him the truth and lying to him is really painful.

"James, I am fine, do not worry. I am just tired. I wanted to take a leave but I got a call from Sir that we lack staff so I had to go. So I could not ask for leave. But do not worry, I am fine. You should just go, the class has already started", I said to him, but I could see how worried he was looking.

"Then why did you tell me before? I could have talked to him and I am sure that he would not dare to say no to me. You do not need to come if you are not well. Why are you so stupid? I do not understand Ava", he sometimes scolds me if I do things like that and I just smile at him.

"Just go, I am fine, I will see you at home, okay", I said and pushed him out because he was not leaving me alone there. I somehow feel so blessed to have him in my life. I just do not know what I would have done if I did not have to find him here with me. He has been helping me so much since he met me, and I do not know if I will ever be able to repay his kindness. I just drank some water and went to class. I felt that my head was getting dizzy and my eyes were also getting heavy, but I could not leave it.

I just washed my face and made my way to class. It was so hard for me to even stand up straight, but somehow I managed to attend that period. I walked out and made my way out when I saw him. I wanted to ignore him, but it is still hard for me to ignore him. No matter how hard I try, it sucks that I can not ignore him. He came to me when we were like kids. But I did not want him to get involved. I know him so well. He can not stay away from my business.

It was useless to make him understand, and I was so shocked when I got to know that the principal was calling him. I thought that he was gonna do something maybe. Maybe a problem for me, but the way he was looking at me, I just got relaxed. Because deep down I know that he will never do anything that will hurt me. So I just started walking back to the staff room. My eyes are now really tired, they need sleep and my body is aching and my legs are already giving up on my body, but I still managed to walk. On my way to the staff room, I got a call from the principal. I just do not know why I feel that he did something, he really did something. That is why Sir told me to take a half day off. In the morning, he called me and asked to come because of the lack of staff, and now he is saying to go home. That is really strange, but at this moment I do not care. I really want to go home and take a long nap, maybe for two days. I really need sleep for some good days. Gosh, seems like my mind is also tired, it is thinking nonsense.

I took a deep breath and took my bag and made my way out already. That is what I wanted, so I could not wait any more, but with each step. I was taking. I felt that my vision was getting blurry. It was hard for me to even open my eyes. I could not think straight. My body was also getting heavy. I was glad that I was not driving my car right now, or else I could have had an accident today. I was still walking when I felt that someone had taken my name, but I did not have any strength in my body to turn my head and see who it was. I know that voice was kind of familiar but I just could not make it. And soon, I felt that I lost my vision as my eyes got closed and my legs gave up on the weight of my body and I just fell down, but I remember that someone did not let me fall and held me in his arms.

Hours later-

I am feeling much better now. I felt the bed was so soft and cozy. I can sleep for the whole day. I slowly opened my eyes and rubbed it. I am feeling so fresh now. I am glad that my headache is gone too. This feeling is really refreshing and relaxing. I did not know that I could feel this better. I just tried to get up in bed and that is when I realized again that I was not at my place. I looked at him again. He was sleeping near my legs. Well, if I describe it, he was not sleeping but he was sitting on the chair while his head was down on the bed near my legs. Why the hell is he sleeping like that? I wanted to wake him up but I just did not want to disturb him. Maybe he is tired too. That is why he fell asleep like this.

But why am I here again? I did not drink. Now, how come I ended up here? It is really strange. I just tried to think hard. I tried to recall what happened. My hand just went on my head when I understood it. It was he who saved me. I lost control on the road and I fainted there and it was him who saved me and he brought me here. He does not know where I live. Gosh, what should I do with him?

I know that he still cares for me, but there is no way that I can trust that he is in love with me. It has been four years now. I can not forget the day he left me and now he is back and still saying that he feels the same for me. I have no idea where he is going and there are chances that he will have met a lot of people there. In those four years, he did not see any other girl. If we talk about a boy, then this sounds really impossible and now I just do not know what the hell I should do. I just tried to get up slowly without disturbing him, but it is kind of hard because his hands are wrapped around my legs and if I move my leg I am sure that he will wake up. I do not want him to wake up now, because of me and I just want to leave here before he wakes up.

"I am glad that you are up, how are you feeling now, love", he asked me and I just got scared because I did not know that he was up too, because his head was still down,

"Amm thank you, why did you bring me here", I asked him and he just looked at me with confused eyes.

"What do you mean why I took you here", he asked me. He sounded irritated.

"I mean you could have taken me back to college. Why did you take me to your place", I asked him and he just got up and rubbed his eyes.

"I do not know where you live, you did not tell me that. So, what do you expect me to do? Where should I take you then, to a hotel, huh", he asked me. He was now looking angry too. Why the hell is he getting angry like that? I do not think that I asked something to piss him off. Why the hell is he behaving like that? It seems like he is having mood swings too.

"I did not mean that. I just meant that", he just cut me off and got up from the chair.

"Go and wash your face, I will be back soon", he literally gave me the order and walked out of the room. What the hell does he think of himself? He is no one to tell me what to do, but I really need to go to the washroom and pee. So I just have to get up from here. So I got up from bed and made my way to the bathroom and washed my face. And right now I am feeling so fresh. I wiped my face and walked out of the room and I started looking at his room.

I felt that I did not see his room the last time I went there. So I just started seeing his things. The room was not changed much. It was still the same, all the things were at the same place and I saw the hanging picture on the wall, and I turned the picture and my heart started beating so damn fast, it was the same picture he gifted me, it was the picture when we met for the first time, we both were looking kids, we were kids although still I did not like this picture much, but he wanted to have this picture, he said I was looking so cute in this picture, but I just did not wanted it, I am still having this picture, my heart was aching in pain to see this, why the hell he is still keeping it when he does not care all these years.

"It is still the same right", I heard his voice and I just jumped at my place, s**t, I did not want him to see me here, but he did, so I just nodded my head.

"Why are you still having this picture", I asked him and he just glared at me.

"What the hell you expect me to do, you want me to throw this or burn this, is that what you really want, huh", he asked me and I just turned my head to see him, he was having a tray in his hands as he walked close to me and placed the tray at the bed, I did not say anything, I just do not know what to say, after all, he just held my hand and made me sit on the bed, I did not say anything, I just sat on the bed and he served food in the plate, I was just looking at his handsome face, he is still the same, the same shine on his face and his deep, pretty eyes, I just missed him like hell but he did not even care, he did not care about anything, he did not care about me and this thing hurts so much, I just can not explain this how much it hurts.

"Now do you want me to feed you", he asked me as he dragged me out from my thoughts and I just shook my head, I saw the food he brought, it was the same dishes I used to love, I still love them and I am glad at least he still remembers it.

"No, thank you, I can eat by myself", I said and staerted eating without saying any word to him, I was so damn hungry, I did not eat anything since yesterday, so I will not say anything to him that why did he bring me here and all, I do not have any strenght to fight with him, I really need to eat something, so I took a bite of pasta and a moan escaped from my mouth as the pasta melted in my mouth, it was so damn yummy and it tastes still the same, so he cooked for me, I can never forget the way it tastes, this is so yummy, I was eating like I did not eat anythig since years, and this food is amazing, he was just looking at me while I was eating, I wanted to tell him that stop staring at me but I just did not say anything, I turned my gaze away from him and focused on my food, I took a sip of coffee, that is yummy too, gosh, I am feeling so happy all of the sudden, food makes me so happy and specialy when it comes from him, he was always a better cook than me, everyday he used to make breakfast for us, those were the best days of my life, I can never forget those days, but there is no way that those days could come back again, he just ruined everything, he ruined our perfect life and it hurts so much.

"Why did not you eat breakfast in the morning, do not you know that it is not good to leave your home with an empty stomach", he started lecturing me but I did not even look at him, I was still eating this yummy food and moaning like crazy coz it is melting in my mouth like honey.

"Ava, can you please stop moaning like that, it sounds something else, and if someone will hear it then they will get a wrong idea", he said to me and the food got choked in my throat as I coughed hard, how could he say such thing to me, he is still so shameless, he came close to me and started rubbing my back and the moment he touched my back, I felt that a current ran into my body, he still has that charm, he still could distract me, he is still the same, he could make me feel nervous, I just pulled myself back, as he held my waist and tapped my back and that is when I somehow felt calm, but he was still rubbing my back.

"I am fine now, thank you", I said slowly and he got up from there and sat back where he was sitting before and I just gulped hard, I am not feeling hungry anymore, I am feeling full all of sudden.

"Thank you so much, I am full now, I should leave first now", I said to him but he did not say anything, that is when my phone started ringing and I just took my bag and pulled my phone out and saw mom's number and picked it, I tried to keep my voice low, I do not want him to hear anything so I just went a little far away from him.

"Yes mom, what happened", I asked her as I heard his worried voice, I thought it was about Luke.

"Honey where are you, Luke is asking for you, James said that you left college in the morning, where are you", mom asked me and I just got confused, she was right I left the college in the morning, what time it is, I looked at my phone and my eyes almost popped out, what the f**k, it is eight in the evening, how the hell I could sleep for that long, oh god, seems like something is really wrong with me.

"I am so sorry mom, I just got some important work so I could not inform you, and how is Luke, is he fine, please tell him that I will be back soon, okay", I just hang up the call, I was so worried, my baby would be upset again, I am really getting angry with myself, how could I be so stupid and careless, how the hell I can sleep like this, gosh, please just do something for me, I am not feeling good now, I should leave right now, I just turned my head to and my head collided with his hard chest as he was standing right behind me, and I had no idea that he was there, I did not even feel it, did he hear that, god, what the hell do you want from me, what if he heard what I said, what I will do then.

"Why the hell you did not wake me up, it is so f*****g late, mom is so worried about me, why you did not wake me up Lucas", I asked him as he was looking at me with a lot of emotions in his eyes, I do not know what he is thinking right now, I am feeling so scared all of the sudden, what if he asks about Luke, what the hell I am gonna say, how I will cover it for him, I know that he is the daddy of Luke and he has all the rights to know about him, but I do not want to tell him about Luke yet, he hurt me, he left me alone, he was not with me when I was bearing Luke, so he does not deserve to know about him until I will see that if I can forgive him or not, and god knows what he will do if he will know about it, what if he tries to take Luke from me, what I will do then, I am not even rich to fight it with him at court and there is no way that I can afford to lose Luke, he is the heart of me, I will die without him.

"You were so tired baby, and you were sleeping so peacefully, so I did not dare to wake you up, so I let you sleep", he was not having any expression on his face, his face was neutral and it was really hard to understand what he is thinking.

"I should leave now, thank you for everything you did for me today", I said and made my way out but he held my hand again and I just closed my eyes and took a deep breath, why he always makes things complicated for me, it is really hard to leave him alone.

"Let go, Lucas, I am getting late, mom is worried for me, and I have some work to do, I have to leave", I said and turned my face to him.

"I send your car to your home", he said and I just looked at him with wide eyes, he knows where do I live, oh god, is that mean he knows about Luke too, what the hell I will do if he already knows about him, no, no, that can not happen, if he knows about him then he would talk about him for sure, he does not know anything, right, I just gulped hard and took a deep breath.

"Do you know where I live", I asked him and he slowly nodded his head.

"How do you know, I mean if you know where do I live then why did you take me here", I asked him and I know I asked a tough question coz he does not know the answer, he was just finding an excuse to spend some time with me, so he did.

"You are getting late right, you should leave now, let me drop you", he said and I quickly shook my head, there is no way that he can drop me, he will see Luke for sure and the moment he will see Luke, he will know the truth at the same second, Luke exactly looks like him, same eyes, same skin tone, the same face cut, he just looks like his carbon copy and then I do not know what will happen, so there is no way that I can take such risk.

"No, no, Lucas, I am fine, I can go by myself, and by the way thank you for your offer, and for the food too", I said to him with a fake smile, I grabbed some cash from my bag and placed it on the table.

"This is for such yummy food and for your offer, you cook really great", I said with a smirk on my face and I saw how he got angry and how his eyes turned red due to anger, I know I am hurting him, maybe my words are piercing his heart but he has no idea what he did to my heart, he has no idea how much he hurt me, so this is nothing in front of what he did to me, he came close to me and held my arms tight and pulled me close to him, I cried out as it was hurting so much, I know he can not control his anger, and maybe I just triggered his anger and now he is hurting so much.

"How dare you do this to me", he asked me as he grabbed my jaw, it was hurting like hell but I did not do anything, I was looking straight into his eyes, I did not cry in pain, it was great to see him burning in his own rage.

"Aww, my baby is angry, what happen, Lucas, are you hurt, you did not like my words", I teased him and he got angrier than before.

"Why Ava, why you are doing this, you know I am really guilty, please just give me one chance to fix this", he said and I saw how the wave of pain raised into his eyes, I really did not enjoy seeing him in pain, but I just want him to make feel the same pain I felt.

"I am so sorry if you are hurt Lucas, but you have no idea how much you hurt me, you have no idea how did I felt when you left me in the aisle, on our wedding day, you have no idea how I was feeling when people were looking at me with pity in their eyes, you know nothing, so just stay away from me", I just get rid of his grip and took my bag and left from there without even looking back at him.