15th February 2013
I cannot do this anymore. I cannot stay here again, I can’t live here again. There is nothing else left for me in this world. It hurts to find out I’m alive every morning. It makes me miserable. I thought I could do it, I thought I could stay but I can’t. I need to go. I need to go meet Alyssa, she is waiting for me. She is lonely there I know. I can feel it. I want to see her again. I wish I could sleep and see her in my dreams, smiling like she always does. But it’s hard, it’s been impossible for me to fall asleep unless I take those goddamn pills. But now, they don’t even work anymore. And I know it’s a sign, a sign for me to leave for where you are Alyssa. I miss you so bad it hurts. It’s pathetic but I cry every time I remember what I did to you, how badly I treate
