his love for me

ch 20: What is love

I woke up with the sound of alarm , ended it and then saw time. It was just 7.30 now, i could sleep five more minutes. I closed my eyes and the next thing i knew was my mum's shouting. Anora!wake up,it is 8 am. These mothers....I don't know whether this happens with me only or all the mothers are same. if it is 7.45,she will say it is 8 am. I opened my eyes , looked at clock and i was ready to shout that mum it is just 7.40 but my voice died in my throat. It was really 8 a.m. I was late. Why??? I set three alarms, i woke up at time in first place then why? Why does this happen with me? I did my morning rituals, ate my breakfast in hurry and my mum was murmuring the same things: "if you had woken up at time,you wouldn't have to eat in hurry. Now finish it, you leave your bread daily". I left almost half of my breakfast as daily and went to college. I gave lectures, took tests and in free time i watched "how i met your mother". Yes, it is an old season but i didn't watch it yet because i thought it would be a love story and after breakup you can't watch love stories. It would bring all the pain back. But today i thought i should give it a try because I didn't want to think about Nigel or Jayce. Episode 01 season 2: a boy was crying because his girlfriend left him for her career. Ok! it is interesting. I like headstrong girls. The boy cried in whole episode and my temper was getting thin. Who the hell cries for a girlfriend? Boys just make others cry. This writer must be living in some other world. I couldn't watch more episodes. Actually the problem was with me, not with the writer. I came back home,spent good time with my mum ,watched a good movies, cooked dinner and did other chores. I was trying to be super busy because even one moment of rest was giving me thoughts of Nigel and like that guy in episode I was forcing myself not to call my ex. The only difference was of friends, he had friends with him but I didn't have any. I hate Rachel and all my so-called friends. Ok, one more reason to remain busy.1) don't think about Nigel 2) don't think and melt for Jayce 3) Don't hurt your feelings by remembering that how selfish friends you had.

                    It was night and i was drained. I got on my bed and about to sleep when my cell's screen lit up. It was some unknown number. i hesitated because who would call me in late hours. I was pondering over whether to pick the call or not and in that time call ended. I put it aside and then there was a beep. I picked up , there was a message :"missing you." and my heart perhaps missed a beat. It was from Jayce . I always wanted such sweet texts from Nigel but after first year of our dating he never sent such messages. He called again, i picked up, "i was missing you wolfi",he said and my patience evaporated."i am not a wolf",i said it through gritted teeth "and how dared you call me a wolf? do i have sharp teeth or my whole body is covered with fur?" My anger was on another level. He laughed, he seriously laughed. This man had the nerve to laugh after making me this much angry. " I said i was missing you and the only thing you listened and focused on was wolfi",he laughed again. I couldn't speak for a moment. I was embarrassed but why would i accept it. I would rather end the call than accepting my negativity. "Do you have anything else to say because i am sleepy",i asked in a very serious tone. "can I come to see you",he asked and i jumped on my bed. "What,no! No, you can't come". "Are you challenging me?",he asked. I rolled my eyes. Why would i challenge him and before i could say anything,i heard a noise and when i looked back he was standing in my balcony. Damn, why is he trying to become my Romeo? He was wearing a light green shirt and brown trousers and that green was not anything compared to his eyes. He was smiling. It was that type of smile which had charm. It was that type of smile when you are a child and mistakenly you have poured all yogurt on a carpet and your mother comes with flaring nostrils and then you give her this smile and she melts. I didn't know I was smiling back."Someone is very happy to see me",be said in a cocky tone,yes i hate him. "Who said i was happy to see you", i asked in an equal cocky tone." You were smiling ear to ear after looking at me honey",he said in a friendly way but how dared he attack my ego. "Well, I saw a very handsome boy in college. I saw you in shadow so for a moment i thought you were him", i said it with a grin and he obviously looked offended.

Anora 1.         Jayce 0

He pulled me towards him and put his hands on my waist , my hands were on his chest. His face came close and i closed my eyes. His breath was tickling my ear. Is it going to be a kiss? I should have pushed him away but i couldn't. I gripped his shirt a bit in anticipation. " Does that boy have same influence on you or only i can make you close your mouth and eyes in a split second",he said it like a whisper and i was chagrined

       Jayce 100.       Anora 0

 I pushed him and by now i was ready for splenetic rant . But again just like he has read my mind,he raised his hands in surrender and said ok ok i am sorry. I raised my one eyebrow. " I love it when you do it and plz stop doing it otherwise i would not be able to stop myself from hugging you",he said with a smile and i rolled my eyes. " We have to go after two days and this time our stay there can prolong", he said in a serious tone," last tome people tried to investigate things between us . So why can't we understand each other in a better way". " How can we do that",i asked him in a monotone. But then suddenly it hit me,"let's play 13 w's",he looked at me like i wasn't talking in native language. It is a game of 13 questions usually start with "w" like what ,why,where...etc, I explained and he seemed convinced. I used to play it with Rachel and Jiggy. He asked me what do i like to eat, movies and stuff, colors. he asked me what do i hate most? lies and liars. What do i like in person? his sincerety and behavior. He asked me what is love in my opinion, i looked in air, remembered my pain and said: love is like an abyss. You fall and you don't know how deep is it. You kept falling, hoping a good end but then you hit the ground and it gives you immense pain. Love is like a dark forest, you come inside by holding a hand which you assume will never leave you, but it leaves you. Now you don't know how to go back. You are middle of no where. Love is like a wrestling match. Your opponents are your insecurities,his lies and your attachment. These things smack, whack and zonk you but you don't feel it in appreciation of your lover but then after that match you sit and feel soreness of your eyes and affliction of your heart. My knuckles were on carpet behind my back and i was resting against one side of bed. I was sitting on a carpet and i was still looking in air like I am in another world. I stopped speaking. Was there any other thing to speak?He asked me other things to lighten the tension like my celebrity crush, i told him about Brad Pitt,he asked me reason and i told him that he has a genuine boyish smile,to which he laughed and asked if he get plastic surgery and get same smile,will i have a crush on him? I laughed at this and mocked him.

Then he asked Which thing i liked in him, I wanted to tell him that I like when he smiles, not the normal smile but the only time when he smiles for me, when his eyes see me as most beautiful girl of this planet, when he takes my side, his masculine body, when he plays with my hair but I can't say any of these. I pretended like I was thinking and after a few seconds i said "umm,, there is nothing that would attract me . I have seen better" . I thought he would get hurt or behave aggressively but on contrary he started laughing. Actually,he was gone hysteric. He was so uncanny and unpredictable.