Rebirth Aftec Death

Puppy: Potato

At night, I finished washing up downstairs. I was afraid of disturbing Li Chishu, so I deliberately walked upstairs lightly. He still heard me when I entered the room. Li Chishu didn't seem to be doing homework. The first thing he did after he found me was to fold something and put it in his schoolbag in a hurry.

"What are you writing?" I asked him while wiping my freshly washed hair.

"No." He closed the pen cap and turned around, "Have you finished washing?"

I nodded and sat at the end of the bed: "Where did you put the hair dryer?"

Li Chishu said: "It's in the cabinet, where you put it at the beginning."

I slowly leaned back, supported my hands on the bed sheet, and closed my eyes: "I'm so tired, can you help me get it."

"Okay."

I heard the creaking sound of the old wooden cabinet, and Li Chishu took the hair dryer and walked in front of me.

I tilted my face and slightly opened my eyes: "Can you help me blow it."

Li Chishu continued to hand over the hair dryer, lowered his eyes and didn't say a word, and was stubborn with me.

Cut.

I said, "I fell down today and can't hold it."

He didn't believe me and argued with me, "Where did you fall?"

I didn't say anything and looked at him with a smile.

"..."At night, I finished washing up downstairs. I was afraid of disturbing Li Chishu, so I deliberately walked upstairs lightly. When I entered the room, he still heard me. Li Chishu didn't seem to be doing homework. The first thing he did after he found me was to fold something and put it in his schoolbag in a hurry.

"What are you writing?" I asked him while wiping my freshly washed hair.

"No." He closed the pen cap and turned around, "Have you finished washing?"

I nodded and sat at the end of the bed: "Where did you put the hair dryer?"

Li Chishu said, "It's in the cabinet, where you put it at the beginning."

I slowly leaned back, supported my hands on the bed sheet, and closed my eyes: "I'm so tired, can you help me get it?"

"Okay."

I listened to the creaking sound of the old wooden cabinet, and Li Chishu took the hair dryer and walked to me.

I raised my face and slightly opened my eyes: "Help me blow it."

Li Chishu continued to hand over the hair dryer, lowered his eyes and said nothing, and argued with me.

Tsk.

I said: "I fell today and can't hold it."

He didn't believe me and argued with me: "Where did you fall?"

I didn't say anything, and looked at him with a smile.

"..." He covered the place on the back of my head where he had blown for a long time, rubbing and apologizing: "Sorry, sorry..."

"What do you want to eat tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Tomorrow?" Li Chishu's thoughts were really easily led away by me. As long as I threw a question, he would forget that he was still in my arms.

"Tomorrow..." He was thinking seriously, "I'll cook tomorrow."

"You?"

"Yes." He said, "You've done it so many times, it's my turn."

I didn't comment: "What do you want to do?"

When it comes to this, he becomes embarrassed again: "I... I don't know much. I can stir-fry potato shreds, stir-fry a piece of meat... I can also cook noodles."

I listened quietly and realized that this is how Li Chishu dealt with himself when he lived alone since he was a child.

It's true that children from poor families grow up early, but he doesn't know how to cook too many meals.

From the age of seven to the rest of his life, let alone the beginning of everything is difficult - there are thousands of things, and there is no one to knock on the door for him. Survival skills are like thorns, and growing up alone is enough to make him bleed.

"Okay." I said, "Then I want to eat the noodles you cook, stir-fried potato shreds, and a piece of meat."

——

The next morning, his cell phone alarm rang on time. After pressing it, I thought Li Chishu would stay away from me to avoid the encounter of the previous day, but he didn't show any signs of moving away. I didn't open my eyes. I heard him lying with his back to me for a while, then he turned over very slowly and faced me.

After an unknown amount of time, Li Chishu stretched out his finger and touched the tip of my nose.

I pinched my thigh under the quilt to prevent myself from laughing and being discovered by Li Chishu.

——Li Chishu, be braver! Kiss me! Kiss me! Put your mouth on my face!

When his fingertips touched my eyebrows, I couldn't help but move my eyes.

He was probably startled, afraid that I would wake up suddenly, so he immediately withdrew his hand and then got out of bed.

…

I slowly opened my eyes, rolled up my pajamas and looked at my thigh that was almost pinched by me.

… A dog's stomach can't hold two taels of sesame oil, and it was obvious that he almost kissed me.

——

Li Chishu's noodles tasted very good, the seasoning was simple, and the noodles were cooked very soft. Speaking of this, he smiled and explained to me: "Because my grandmother comes back occasionally, I will cook noodles for her. The old man eats soft food, so I am used to cooking softer."

Slurping a bowl of noodles, I asked him to go upstairs to do his homework. Li Chishu looked back every few steps: "Are you going to dig potatoes?"

I said yes, and he ran over again: "I'll go with you."

I said: "Don't you do your homework?"

He said: "I did a little bit of today's work in advance yesterday, so I'm not so nervous." Generally, when Li Chishu said "a little bit", it meant that he was almost done. There is no doubt that Li Chishu is rigorous in learning, and I didn't refuse too much, so I took him there.

The weather was very good that day, there was not much sun, but it was not gloomy, and the wind was gentle all the way. I also put two bags of snacks in Li Chishu's pocket.

Halfway through digging potatoes, an uninvited guest came.

At that time, I was putting two newly dug small potatoes into a woven bag not far away. When I turned around, Li Chishu was already playing with a little yellow dog that came out of nowhere.

He even opened the snacks I picked for him and fed them to the dog.

The little yellow dog had been lurking for a long time, and only jumped out and got close to Li Chishu after seeing me leave. Just his two eyes were full of ghostly smell. When he met my eyes, he barked with a pinched voice and kept rubbing against Li Chishu.

Li Chishu was touching his head when I grabbed his arm: "You still touch it when it's so dirty, be careful of fleas."

He smiled, took back his hand, poured the snacks on the ground, and waited for the little yellow dog to lick them clean.

I looked down at Li Chishu's dark hair and asked, "Do you want to take it home?"

"Take it home?" He looked up at me, looked around, and finally shook his head, "Forget it, it's so well-behaved, it shouldn't be a stray dog, maybe it's raised by someone nearby."

"It's so dirty, it's not wild," I helped Li Chishu up and brushed the mud on the back of his pants, "Even if it's raised by someone nearby, it will find its way back home when the time comes."

Li Chishu still smiled and said, "Forget it."

As a result, when I went back to the kitchen to boil water, Li Chishu peeked out of the door again.

I was about to ask him what he wanted to say, and two dog ears appeared on the threshold at his feet.

"..."

I made a little more dinner, not only for people, but also for the dog.

I saw that Li Chishu didn't eat two bites of a bowl of rice, but was busy teasing the dog, so I moved my eyes to the yellow dog at my feet.

It's not ugly, but it's covered in mud. Fortunately, it's obedient. It's spinning around to make Li Chishu happy. When his hand touches his head, he rubs against it. He doesn't bark. He knows who has a good temper between the two. He's quite snobbish.

I asked Li Chishu again: "Do you want to take it home?"

He was playing with the dog with his head down. He was stunned for a moment when he heard this, and then confirmed with me: "Take it home?"

"Take it home." I said.

He thought for a while and said: "Forget it. I usually live in the school. Taking it home is also-"

"Take it back to my home." I interrupted him, "I have an aunt at home, and I go to school every day. If you miss it, come to my house to see it."

Anyway, my home will be your home sooner or later.

"But wouldn't that be troublesome..."

"I can't afford a dog yet," I picked a piece of meat from the plate and threw it into the temporary dog ​​dish, "It's okay to raise one more person."

Li Chishu obviously didn't understand the second half of my sentence, and only looked at me eagerly to confirm: "Is it really okay?"

I put down my chopsticks and told him seriously: "Yes."

What Li Chishu needs for anything he desires is not a casual promise, nor a few joking replies. His strong sense of insecurity about the whole world makes him willing to believe that what he expects will have a result only after hearing a firm and affirmative reply.

Such insecurity comes from the winter and summer vacations when his parents always missed home before he was seven years old, or the pension that was delayed after he was seven years old, or the summer when he worked hard under the scorching sun for half a month and his boss deducted most of his salary for various reasons when he was eighteen years old. More importantly, he has never had everything that countless peers are accustomed to, such as praise, encouragement, courage to retreat on the road of growth, and love that his flesh and blood relatives will never betray.

So when Li Chishu asked any question, Shen Baoshan would remember to put down everything he was doing, focus his eyes on Li Chishu's face, answer him in an unquestionable tone, and tell him: he would remember and agree to all his requests.

I said: "The first time I saw this dog, I knew that it must go home with me."

Li Chishu asked: "Why?"

"Because you like it." I picked up the chopsticks again, picking up dishes intermittently, lowering my voice and telling him in an exaggerated tone, "Your eyes are full of "Shen Baoshan I like you so much, let me take it home, I beg you, Shen Baoshan!'"

Li Chishu smiled so hard that his eyes were bent: "How could I be like that."

"You didn't, you didn't." I glanced at the puppy and confirmed that I and it were still in the stage of disliking each other, "I like it too much, okay - stop playing, eat well."

In fact, the 27-year-old Li Chishu once wanted to raise a puppy.

There was a time when he mentioned it to me twice: "I kind of want to get a dog."

After he got sick, he mentioned many things on a whim, and when I asked him seriously, he would suddenly regret it. But Li Chishu mentioned this twice, which caught my attention.

So I stopped what I was doing and asked him: "What do you want to get? I'll ask someone to pick it."

"Hmm..." He sat on the sofa with a blanket over his head, holding a cup of almost unfinished coffee in his hand. The living room was dark, and only the dim light of the movie screen opposite him wandered on his face - he didn't like to turn on the lights, and this habit was particularly serious after he got sick.

He said: "Shiba Inu, Corgi, Samoyed - but it seems a bit stupid. But if there are stray dogs to adopt, choose stray dogs first."

Later, I took him to the kennel that was waiting for stray dogs to be adopted. He walked to the door and backed off temporarily: "Forget it."

"Why forget it?" I asked him.

"I... don't want to keep one. I feel it's troublesome to keep a small animal." He changed his words with that kind of apologetic smile.

In the days after he left, I figured out that Li Chishu knew from then on that one day he would give up the world where he had lived for 20 to 30 years. He chose not to raise a puppy because he didn't want to add another life that was connected to him. After all, parting forever is very energy-consuming. Saying goodbye to Shen Baoshan was already enough of a headache for him, and the crying of the speechless puppy made him even more helpless.

Or maybe he wanted to save himself at that time, by raising a puppy to save himself - Li Chishu might have thought that if there was a concern at home, he might be willing to stay longer.

But am I not his biggest concern?

He was willing to abandon me, so why would he stay for anything else.

He also figured out this truth before entering the kennel, so he didn't give any of the puppies in it a chance.

And what about me now. I am desperate. I don't want to let go of any connection that can happen to Li Chishu in this world. Whether it's a dog or food, even a comfortable and soft pajamas or a bowl of dumplings, the more things he has, the more he misses this world. When he wants to leave, I will have more power to pull him out.

——

October 3, sunny

I went to the cafeteria late today, and the only dish was sold out. I went to the supermarket to buy a pack of instant noodles. The cheapest one was 1.5 yuan.

If I went to the cafeteria earlier, I would only spend 80 cents.

——

October 3, sunny

Today I cooked noodles for Shen Baoshan, and also made potatoes and shredded pork. He said they were delicious.

I also picked up a puppy. Shen Baoshan said he took it home to raise it. I don't know if it's true, but he asked me to name the puppy and said I was its owner.

I actually have a puppy now.

I named it Potato because I met it when I was digging potatoes. Shen Baoshan seemed very satisfied with this name. I don't know if Potato likes its new name.

Shen Baoshan also said that he would take it back to get vaccinated, find someone to give it a haircut, and buy it special dog food. I wonder if he will forget it when he returns.

But is there really someone who can give dogs a haircut? How much does it cost? I don’t know if Shen Baoshan will tell me the truth. Every time I ask him about the price, he doesn’t seem to be telling the truth.

He seems to think that it’s not obvious that he’s lying.