Full Circle

I blinked back tears as I fled the dining area, the scene of my most embarrassing moment yet. A servant breezed past me, roughly brushing me as I ran up the stairs. I only slowed down when I was on the floor that lead to my room, bursting in and falling down on the floor before breaking into sobs. My mother was no doubt annoyed that I had stormed out of the dining table when we had prestigious guests over. That night was a disaster. The Berkeley’s, the family my youngest sister Larrisa was marrying into had been invited over for dinner. It was to get to know the rest of the family, they said and had my parents insist I stay back and miss an important meeting only to have them arrive and sour my mood. Recounting the events of the evening had me cursing myself for falling into the trap, I already knew how it was going to end. Too weak to get up from my position, I resolved to laying on the cold marble ground that did everything but comfort me. The Berkeley’s had brought a meat dish, and my mother, as always, insisted on serving it first. It wasn’t about the food—it was about proving I could take it, and when I couldn’t, her disappointment was palpable. I had taken only one round of serving when everyone was on their second before I requested to have something else. Mr Berkeley, the old i***t commented that he had been waiting for me to tap out as he knew that weak and wordless females stood no ground against their counterparts not to talk about against men. Mother had been too quick to agree, telling him that she had tried to toughen me up but I was too weak despite her efforts, openly calling me a wasted effort in the present of polite company. I had stood up, quickly to excuse myself from the dinner but the Berkeley kid sitting next to me kicked my leg and had me falling backwards. Then pretended to be helping me right my stance and asked me to be much more careful as I was too clumsy, my lack of wolf was apparently showing. My mother seconded his statement saying that there were some human kids who were better than me and she wished I had turned out to be like one instead. My mothers ‘joke’ sent the rest of the table into a laughing fit with my own siblings jeering at my misfortune. It was simply too much and I took off for the safety of my room. The walls of my room, once a sanctuary, now felt like a cage, closing in on me with every tear that fell. The scent of lavender, my mother’s favorite, clung to the air, a constant reminder of her presence. From where I lay on the hard and unforgiving ground, the moonlight shone brightly. It is said that on nights where the moon is full, one’s wolf feels rejuvenated and fully recharged. I closed my eyes and tried to pay more attention to my insides and feel the effect, but I felt as sad and unhappy as I had been throughout the dinner. I sighed, the weight of my thoughts making my chest tighten. My eyes opened and fell on the photo of Ian—his grin frozen in time. The laughter in that picture seemed a lifetime ago. I missed him more than I could put into words. Ian had just up and left half a week ago and hadn’t kept in touch with the rest of the family. He was the only one who truly looked out for me and now he was no where. His absence hurt. It wasn’t just the silence that hurt. It was the empty chair at the table, the absence of his laugh that had once filled the room. Ian had been my protector, and now, without him, the world felt even colder. **** A douse of cold water woke me up with a squeal. The cold water splashed over me with brutal force, an act meant to shock me out of my sleep. Samantha’s face was unreadable, but I could see the glint of satisfaction in her eyes.” Samantha, my assigned maid and her assistant stood by my head staring down at me, as if daring me to speak up and question their act. I wanted to snap at her, to say something sharp, but the words caught in my throat. Instead, I clenched my fists, silently vowing that one day, she would see me differently. The arrogant look on their faces spoke volumes about how willing they were to fetch another bucket and repeat the process if I didn’t rise to my feet immediately. “Your mother asked to get you up immediately.” Samantha informed me as I rose to my feet, peeling away the dress from my body. I shivered, not from the cold water but from the humiliation. Every drop seemed to mock me, each one a reminder of how little control I had over my own life. I blinked, confusion clouding my thoughts. ‘My mother?’ I asked, as if the very idea of her giving me any attention seemed too foreign to be true. Mother usually went out of her way to avoid me only resurfacing to remind me about how much of a failure I was and to manage an attempt at trying to set me right. Ignoring me, she walked around the puddle she had created to my bathroom to prepare the water for my bath, meekly, her assistant followed before changing her charisma and slamming the door to my bathroom as she entered. I move towards my closet and shed my clothes in preparation. Something was definitely about to happen this morning, I could feel it in my bones. If I were more in tune with my wolf sensibilities, I would be able to eavesdrop on their conversation and have information ahead of time about what I was about to walk into. I emerged from the bathroom after the hot bath that helped soothe the aches in my bones I had gotten from lying stiffly on a cold floor all night. Samantha and Hillary had both exited the room leaving my outfit of the day lying on the bed for me. The dress was one I did not wear on an ordinary day, because it was a dress fashioned to impress. It was royal purple dress, full length and made of pure silk with slits that sat high in my thigh and a low neckline and showed more than a little chest. It was the kind of dress my mother demanded all her daughters wore when she had a guest she was hell bent on impressing. My spirit sunk with the realization that there was yet another chance for a repeat of last night. By the time I had arrived for breakfast, the dinning area had been rearranged to suit the taste of a king. Further indication of my proposed motion. “Why are you loitering around?” Mothers voice arrested me as I walked into the empty dinning area. “I just came down the stairs. I…” She waved the rest of my statement off. “Always full of excuses aren’t we? Anyway, we barely have the time for that and I want you to go fetch your sisters. They must be taking their sweet time getting ready for our guest, they’ve been all over the moon all morning.” Her voice had a hint of pride as she spoke about the daughters she was pleased in. I could tell I was the only one unaware of who we were expecting and everyone had taken it upon themselves to hide the information from me. “And who would our guest be?” I asked following her as she walked out into the living room area. The servants were up and about, preparing the house. “Of course, that would be the only thing you’re eager to know about, never mind that you do not know enough to help you be a better person.” My shoulders involuntarily slump at her words. Mother’s words were always like two wedges swords with the sole aim to kill. “Go get your sisters now,” she instructed, ignoring my obvious reactions to her words. Turning on my feet, I redirected my destination to the twin bedroom that my sisters stayed in. True to mother’s words, both of them where buried in a makeup palette polishing themselves up for our guests. “Would you shut the door Chantelle,” Pricilla, my immediate younger sister yelled as I walk into the room. “We do not want to servants or anyone for that matter having a sneak peak of us getting ready before we show them.” “Mother has asked me to fetch you both,” I informed them as I do as they had asked. Both of them proceeded to ignore me and bicker with themselves whose powder had blended better than the other and what shade of blush looked best. Taking advantage of their snobbishness, I decided to entertain myself by looking around their room. Besides from when mother sends me to fetch them which is quite rare, I almost never get to see what their room is like. Cut out photos of foreign men and love quotes are littered on the side of the wall with a bookshelf against it. On another side is pastel butterflies and fairies pasted just beside a full length mirror. The window was opened and I walked towards it. They had a perfect view of the garden, another beautiful thing my mother preferred to pour her time into instead of me. “Yes, we are open to housing you for a few weeks while we work,” my fathers voice boomed from outside, just below the window. I stood on my tiptoes to peep, very certain that the esteemed guest was who my father was speaking to. They walked into the open, just where I could see them and the wind carried my scent towards them. They he guest had a sharper nostril than my father and turned around immediately to look at me. Father turned as well with a sneer on his lips. “I see you’ve met one of my daughters. That would be Chantelle, Ian’s sidekick.” My breath caught in my throat as the guest and I maintained eye contact for longer than necessary. His lips curled up slowly into a smile and he winked at me before turning his attention back to my father and whispering something to him. With his attentions now off me, I tried to still the racing of my heart to no avail. My heart thudded in my chest, faster than it should have. The possibility of him being under the same roof sent a twinge of excitement, but also a sense of dread. Did he remember me? Oh Ian, I thought to myself, where have you gone? It was have been an excellent time for him to tell me how to and how not to win an alpha’s attention.