Film of Love

Vingt

Once again, I am with my friend in the place that I’ve been going on since I was a kid. This place never left my side. I’ve been living my whole life on this shiny ice floor where you can slide and spin until you feel dizzy.

“I never thought I will see ice rinks again,” I sighed. “I thought that will be my last time!”

I am getting sick of the place but it still holds a lot of memories not just me but Dem. A special place for me where I grow, challenge myself, surprised by the thing I never knew I had. Learning and gaining experiences. Ice rinks have so many stories to tell, from my first fall, the first cry out of frustration and joy, first win, the first applause from the crowd. After, Dem’s competition my life will be soon in progress, hopefully.

I just realized that I never really asked Dem about her plans, or do I?... Moving on, the rink is packed with other ice skaters all around the world. People are on their padded jackets and all even though it’s a bit warm autumn here, well it's basically on the outside but the rink is cold so I never argue with it. I might be invited inside to skate as I saw some familiar faces and I see that they are again the representative from their area.

I don’t try to hide my identity or whatsoever in the eyes of other people. They can think what they want as long as they keep it to themselves.

“Oh! Look at them feeling so confident!” Dem whispered to me. We entered earlier and we always know that we will line up if you want to practice. It’s a public practice rink so we need to be stricter so that we will not tumble on each other.

A quote from my confrère says that “When you fall, you fall alone. Don’t try to grab anyone”. From the past years, I have been in a situation like that inside the rink, we are all trainees and newbies from figure skating. Dem and I were practicing that time, we hold each other and after some time we thought that we are doing pretty well, which is not, and we skated in the center not until she lost her balance. Trying to save herself from falling, her reflex was to hold me and nothing happened but felt the pain from the impact. We are lucky that we have our butt pads or aka crash pads on, our protective gears are on because if not we will not be able to join that year’s training.

My mom and dad overreacted about me getting hurt because of slipping on the ice and having to think twice if I should be continuing the practice and staying at home, learning some piano lessons, or reading a mountain of books. I gather my only strength to persuade them along with Dem and honestly, it works.

“Are you not going in?” asked Dem who is currently tying her skates.

“I don’t think so. Double knot the laces, babe!” I responded and remind her about the shoelaces. Another thing, shoelaces is also one of the sly b***h I know. It gets on my nerves whenever they will go lose their knot in the middle of the performance. So I always remind her to double knot those sneaky sabotages.

Blabbering stuff as I often remember the past before I am knocked out by someone or on my own, who knows what happened. There is like a border between those years and only remembers the year and so on after I woke up. Funny it is but it’s getting annoying like my mind is limiting me to make flashbacks. A wall between my little me and my adult me. They said that those memories will guide us to our present behavior and predict future outcomes.

I never thought that childhood memories were that important, I never give care if kids my age in the past talked about memories of their childhood. I don’t know where Dem and I first met or our hangout places. It’s like there is one persona on me that is missing.

Missing pieces on my puzzle is difficult it's like you’re swimming to go up but something is making you stop so that you can’t reach the surface.

A “Kid”, I thought. 9 years ago is a long time, and I should not be acting like a kid that age but it’s not always the case. The memory I have that time when I came back is a memory of my adolescent years. The time I first heard amnesia, the first time that someone talked to me and the first time I saw a film camera, all of that happened when I was 15. I realized that I do have childish behavior but I wonder how long I slept.

I chuckled like a mad man but I can’t help how I looked dumb that time. I felt sorry for myself for not knowing anything, not even amnesia, but I wonder why I am classmates with kids of the same age. I should be late in schooling but here I am finished my course and applying to a company.

Aryn didn’t know that all of that are one of the clues behind her own story. A hideous compensation they gave to them and left like nothing happened. Everything seems blurry right now and the plots are a bit tangled with each other, and everyone seems like a bad guy but as soon as she steps forward, little by little it will be revealed.

“Whoa!” Dem screamed shamelessly and went to the barrier in front of me to rest a little. Skating is a lot of exercises needed to match the benefits it gives us.

“I forgot again!” I exclaimed as I remembered it.

“What did you forget?”

“I forgot to go back to my exercise routine,”

“that suck’s!” she commented. “Like lady, stop procrastinating please!”

“I am not!” I denied.

“Yes, you are!” she strongly insisted.

“I am not! I’m just having the best rest in my life before I face the boss,” I said.

“who’s your boss? Your boss in work?” I nodded because who will be it if it’s not him.

“Are you sure? That’s your final answer?” she asked making sure that will be my answer.

“You’re wrong!”

“Then who is it?”

“The person behind your misery!” she pointed out.

“Oh…!” that’s a bit loading there but I understood what she is implying.

“That will be the final boss!”

“Oke Dokie!”

“Go back now!”

“Why would I?” she asked with an attitude.

“Because you must be in there to practice!” I responded. “I thought you want to go home big!”

I spit fire into a fire because she will not be going until it happens. This is just me teasing or roasting each other peacefully. Peacefully? Nah that will be our nightmare if ever we stopped teasing each other. I can foresee that we will be teasing each other even we both have white and gray hair.

The music starts and people in the rink start to move to the rhythm with their movement and styles. It’s fun to see how people in their ordinary clothes will be looking elegant when they are now in their spotlight.

I am peacefully watching Dem practice not until I heard the voices of somebody. I lower my head so that they can’t see or notice me.

“Did you know that there is someone from Normandy who is a newbie in competing?” a girl asked.

“No?”

“That’s odd!”

“I know right!” the third voice agreed. There are probably three persons behind me. I am not sure what they are talking about. I am not eavesdropping is just that they are too loud.

“Did you know this is my first time competing in the Olympics because of hard work, but I can’t see that she is working hard,”

“maybe she is a puppet,” the one that asked chuckled.

“Oh!”

“they said she came from Honfleur!”

“Really?”

“Aww! Ms. January is from there too!” the third one said. I was startled a bit as they mentioned my name without them knowing I am just a few seats away from them.

“Oh! Really?” the first one asked surprisingly.

“Yes!”

“I am sad that I can’t even compete with my idol as she retired now!” the second girl said. It made her heart move because it’s the first time that someone idolized her.

“That’s sad!”

“well, you can compete first with that sly newbie!” the first girl said. “she is not even in our levels.”

“Who is she by the way?”

“D-Dem? I think that’s her name, I don’t care but yeah!”

Well! Well! Well! Indeed, she is not on their levels because she gets the eight-level faster as she competes in the local, regional, sectional, and national levels, but this will be the first time at the international level. She might not be famous or lack in skills but she is a hard worker and never gives up and importantly she is not belittling other skaters. She has some crack parts in figure skating but GSU saw her potential.

They left the bench as they walked around the rink like they are commenting like those sports commentators. What behaviors are so annoying like can they be at least being low-key. They thought that they might catch someone’s attention but they should stop messing around like that and judging people by what they see.

I am grateful on the part that they look up to me but I hope they also look at others without those judging eyes because first of all, they are skaters not the judges of the competition. I know what it feels like to be judged because of winning, or just being qualified and those motion, gets everyone’s attention. You can’t escape as long as there are eyes around you. I can’t control them but I should not listen to them. There’s jealousy inside of them, there’s envy in their eyes as they try hard to hide those feeling but their mouth can’t and that proves how they are. I wish them a good life in the future.

“Are you finished yet?” I asked.

“I am!” she responds. “Don’t be too mad!”

“I’m not!” I denied it because it’s not that true. The truth lies somewhere deeper in my eyes.

“Whatever!” she just said while removing her skates.

“Did you know that there are rodents out there speaking non-sense—only one of them by the way!” I told her and it will begin again. I told her as detailed as possible but a little bit of paraphrasing right here and there.

“Well, they think they can’t outdo me?”

“Oh!!!” I said with a swag! She is starting, she is heating the icy stage right there! I’m not that worried to tell her because of how strong her mind is, but it’s just a piece of meat so that she is aware. Dem doesn’t care but I do care.

“They should be spitting facts—not spitting jokes!” she said and I cheered. “They make me laugh, goodness!”

“We should start packing up so I can drive you back,”

“No, you should go back. I can get a lift with my coach anyways,”

“Yes, you can! How can I forget!” I face-palmed myself for my stupidity. We went out of the place and walk to the parking lot.

“See you in two days!”

“See you! Dem, Tu peux le faire!” (Dem, you can do it!) I cheered for her.

We finally went out on our different parts as some will soon fade. What a day or reminiscing such memories even though there’s still a border, realizing something and having fun with her.