Ashes of the Mate Bond

Astrid Lindgren POV “Astrid,” Alpha Renier, my mate and soon to be husband, called but I couldn't grasp his voice. “You should understand my point here. I am not saying you won't have your place in my heart, but I am saying you just have a few months to live and I need to have my back up. A woman that would hold onto the pack.” I raised my brows up at the ceiling of the hospital ward as tears dropped down my face. I just couldn't believe this. Believe that I gave up my life for a man that doesn't even see it. “I….” I tried to calm my nerves however, I couldn't help but stutter. “Ren, you told me that I was still going to be your woman after the doctor talked about the complications.” I said, coughing out blood in the process and he didn't even help me up. He stood there, staring at me with nothing but disgust. “It isn't my fault. You were too careless even after you donated your kidney to me. You got yourself into an accident and now the pack doctor says you have only a few months left.” He responded casually with no remorse in his tone. You called me a fool? Yes, I might actually be a fool for trusting a man with one of my kidneys and I was finally facing the consequences. Renier held his gaze on mine as he gulped in hard. “The doctors said….” “I know what the doctors said,” I cut him off, my chest heaving. “But you want me to be beside you, out of pity? Because you I was dying?” He went silent at my questions and it all answered it.. A cold chuckle escaped my lips. “So, let me get this straight…you weren’t going to marry me because you loved me, but because you thought I wouldn’t be around much longer? So then you replace me with another person?” Renier reached for my hand, but I jerked away. “It wasn’t like that, Astrid. I…..” “No,” I snapped, tears threatening to fall down my face. “It’s exactly like that.” “I just can't do this anymore. I can't continue to live or be hanged with someone who is about to… “Be dead? Doesn't have a life? Can't you give a child?” I dropped the questions at him and I watched his expression change into nothing but annoyance. “Do not make me a bad person, Astrid. I am saying something that would even be beneficial to you and you dare to play it like nothing? You will always be my first bit at the same time, it is needed to get someone capable.” No amount. No amount of words he said could take back the tears that now started to fall without restraints. That statement. A proof he never cared. But I still didn't want to believe everything he was saying. It could be a lie. We had grown up together, trained together, fought alongside each other and we still stood. I had given him my heart, my soul, and my trust, believing him with every fiber of my being that we were meant to rule together. Donating my kidney because it perfectly matched his and causing me nothing but damage. But still, wasn't it enough? “Astrid, can we not be delusional here? I helped you and you helped too because that was your duty. As my future mate you should help…. “And then you decided to dump me?” I interjected and as he was about to make a response, the door to the hospital ward opened wide and my best friend entered. “Star,” My best friend's voice, Liana came in and I swiftly cleaned up my tears before she could say a word but then as always she caught me. She took one look at my face and then at Renier’s. “What’s going on?” she demanded. I turned to her, with her trembling voice. Even if I had to pretend, it isn't with my best friend. “He is marrying another. He was only going to marry me because he thought I was dying. I…mean n…” Liana’s eyes widened before they narrowed at Renier. “You bastard,” she hissed. He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his head. “This isn’t what I wanted.” “Then what did you want?” I demanded. “To feel good about yourself? To make yourself look noble before tossing me aside? To replace me?” He didn't flinch, but his next words shattered whatever was left of my heart. “I can’t go through with it, Astrid. I’m marrying Selina.” And for a moment, it felt as though the world had turned against me and everywhere became so hot, too hot to endure. Selina. The name sent an arrow through my chest, piercing hard. I shook my head, laughter that didn't reach my heart, stumbling up, but filled with devastation. I was devastated. “You’re marrying her? After everything we’ve been through? After what I gave up? You are marrying your best friend that couldn't even blink an eye for you?” “It’s for the pack,” Renier said, as if that justified everything. As if it made a difference that he couldn't come out for me. “The alliance is….” “I don’t care about your damn alliance,” I spat, my voice shaking. “I gave you everything. Everything no one would ever give you. And you’re throwing me away like I meant nothing?” He said nothing and just like that, the door clicked open and his beta, Gideon rushed inside like there was an emergency. “Alpha Renier, I…I think we might have a problem. She needs your attention.” That was just what he said. The three last words and Renier were nowhere to be found. He couldn't even tell me he loved me. After he left I held tightly onto my chest, tears dropping down my face as I felt pain…hard pain in my chest. A pain of heartbreak. It was heavy to know how it truly feels to be abandoned by someone you have given all your heart to. Liana placed a gentle hand on my shoulder as if it would calm me down anyways. “Astrid, you….” “No.” I stood up almost immediately. “No, he can't be doing this to me right? I am not dying in weeks. The doctor might have heard it messed up. I can't allow him to get entwined with her” I said, walking closer to the door as more tears trickled down my face. “No! Astrid please. Please do not do this to yourself. It will only cause nothing but more problems. I don't want to lose my best friend. You are the only one I have left and…” But I did. I had to see it with my own eyes. I had to see what was really happening. Perhaps he was pulling a prank on me. “Please, Lee. My only request from you now is to help me. Help me with the ceremony. • The ceremony was more extravagant than he did mine. Yes, I had to admit to that. It was nothing simple like mine. The pack gathered in the courtyard, with fireflies in displays in the evening air. Every step I took toward the aisle felt too heavy, but I refused to believe he was replacing me. I stood at the side of the gathering like an outcast, my heart bleeding with so much, as I watched Renier standing beside her. With a smile. One of the sweetest smiles I had ever seen him with. Selina was bodied in an elegant silver gown, her blonde hair cascading down her back in waves. She looked radiant, cute even, as if she had already won. And in some ways, she had. She won and I was useless. As always like I did. Putting a man first on everything. Renier’s gaze turned toward me for the briefest second, but he quickly turned back to the Elder standing before him like I was an irrelevant being.. The ceremony continued, every word cutting deep into me like a hammer. Then came the final blow. “I, Alpha Renier of the Shadowcrest Pack, choose Selina as my Luna, to strengthen our alliances and ensure our future.” Gasps echoed through the crowd. Even those who supported the union were shocked by his cold, public rejection. I clenched my fists, willing the tears to stay put. Because I wanted to scream out in tears. The humiliation coursed hot under my skin, but I couldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me broken, because of him. I turned to leave, to escape before the pain was the end of me. But then Selina's voice got through the room. “Oh, are you running away already, Astrid?” she cooed, her voice weirdly sweet. “I thought you were stronger than that.” I stopped in my tracks, my heart pounding so hard. The pack murmured, sensing the new tension in the room. I turned to face her slowly, my gaze holding onto hers. “I’m not running,” I said, firm and calmly even though it betrayed me at the end. My voice betrayed me. Selina smirked. “Of course you are. You just can’t accept that you were never meant to be his Luna. Even after all you did.” That was it. I stepped forward, my hands shaking with nothing but fury. “You don’t know a damn thing about me.” Selina laughed, a sinister and wicked sound. “I know that you’re pathetic. That you actually thought he would choose you over me because of some donation.” The pack was silent, eyes bouncing between us. Then, before I could think, Selina shoved me. Hard to the ground. I stumbled back, barely catching my balance. And that was it. I met her gaze, and before I could stop myself, I shoved her back…just as hard as she did to me. Selina groaned out, stumbling in her heels as gasps erupted around us. And then Renier was there in an instance. “What the hell is going on?” He yelled angrily. Selina instantly shifted into the role of the victim, gripping his arm. “She attacked me, Renier,” she whined. I laughed, shaking my head. “She pushed me first. It isn't even as if you didn't see her when she did it.” Renier’s gaze hardened as he looked at me. “Astrid, don’t make this worse. I have given you a choice.” Something inside me snapped, that crazy bond for me and my wolf whimpered. “Worse?” I repeated. “You’ve already humiliated me in front of the entire pack. What more can you take from me?” Renier remained silent, and that silence spoke louder than any words ever could. I let out my breath, my heart pounding painfully. “I loved you,” I whispered. “I trusted you. And this… this is what I get in return.” I watched his gritted teeth. “Astrid…. I told you that you can always be beside me ....” “No,” I cut him off. “I’m done.” I turned my back and made my way outside but something in me wanted it. Wanted that he to call me back and tell me all of this was a prank. But no, he didn't even do any of that and that was when I knew it was finished. “Astrid,” I heard Selina's cold voice and I halted mid-step. “You should as well pack your things and leave the house now.”