Living in Spite of You

{Sage’s POV} I’ve been broken, ever since I could remember. At the age of 10 I was forced to watch my parents take their last breaths. Someone broke into our house in the middle of the night, rounding us all up in the living room. I still remember it like it was just yesterday. I screamed, and cried, hugging my mother as she brushed my hair back from my face. “She’s just a child.. let her go, please! She won’t remember you! She won’t know who you are! She doesn’t know anything, just please.. let her live!” She begged them. They agreed, but only if my mother and father gave them the information they wanted. They let me live.. but my parents.. they didn’t give them the same chance. The people that killed them, took me with them, and for eight months, I was used as a servant, and beaten every day, I was the one they used to get out their frustrations. They left my body broken, busted up my face, tore up my legs with whips when I didn’t listen. It was horrible, something that left me afraid of everyone, and everything. Eventually, I escaped, and was found in an alley,, curled up, scrawny, battered, and petrified. I was thrown into the foster care system, completely traumatized. I suffer from selective mutism, watching my parents being murdered in front of me.. my body didn’t know how to respond, how to react, so instead it just shut down. I was depressed, anxious, and couldn’t speak.. I was too afraid to. In the orphanage I was often mistreated because of my mutism.. the woman who ran the orphanage heard “selective mutism” and immediately claimed that I could speak if I wanted to, and not doing so was an act of defiance. The other girls in the orphanage took out their frustration of not getting adopted out on me, not to mention when I would get picked to go to a foster family, they would always bring me back, some of them even abusing me, because they knew I couldn’t tell anyone. I was forced to be their maid, their nanny, their chef, anything they needed done, I was always the one they made do it. I cooked all their food, did all their laundry, cleaned the house from top to bottom, and took care of so many children I’d lost count. When I aged out of the orphanage, I had nowhere to go, so the headmistress Dianna Crillen told me I could stay, but only if I worked for her, taking care of the girls that stayed here, cooking, cleaning, and staying out of the way. I’ve been here ever since, taking care of the younger girls here, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, and things like that. I was like these girls maternal figure, the only one they had. A baby girl names Mabel Sands has been attached to me since they brought her in. According to the headmistress, I have the same hair color as her mother did. The poor girl was dropped off, her mother saying she couldn’t afford to have a baby. That’s how many of these girls ended up here.. their parents either died, or abandoned them. I sighed, rolling over in my bed onto my side, another sleepless night. Suddenly, I heard Headmistress Dianna stomping through the halls, her heels echoing through the corridor was a sound I was used to, just not this early. It was maybe four in the morning at this point. I rolled out of my cot, and opened my door, poking my head out, seeing her heading towards the front door. She turned to me with a sigh. “Someone’s here Sage.. just..” she said, raising her hand to her head, and pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just go back to sleep, you have to be up in an hour to start breakfast for everyone!” She snapped at me, continuing on her way down the hall. I nodded, before carefully closing my door back, making sure not to make a sound. I slowly walked over to my window, looking outside. I could see it was pouring the rain, and outside in front of the orphanage, was a car. The headlights were still on, showing the rain pouring down hard around the car. I tried to look down on the stoop, but I couldn’t see anything, my window was up and to the left, so I couldn’t see past the little roof overtop of the stoop. I turned back, looking into my room. My tiny cot, and the small quarters, I was tossed into one of the supply closets, like most of the girls who stay here after aging out. All I had was a small trunk, my cot, and a chair beside my bed, that had a lantern on it. I lit my lantern, and decided to go ahead and get ready. I pulled my nightgown off of me, and folded it, placing it in the trunk. I pulled out my grey button up dress. It buttons from bottom to top, from my knees to my throat. I put it on, buttoning it up, and grabbed my apron, wrapping it around me. I grabbed my old worn out boots and slid them on, tying them up. Then stood, taking my hair out of the bun I slept in. I quickly brushed my hair, and pulled it back up into a messy bun, and put everything back in my trunk, making my bed. I decided to go down and prep for breakfast a little early, but as I passed by the nursery I heard Mabel crying. She wasn’t even one yet, I rushed into the nursery, grabbing the baby carrier, and putting it on. I picked up Mabel and placed her in it, rocking her against my chest. I walked back out of the nursery, and packed her downstairs with me. “I’m sorry sir, I can’t just rush around and drag my girls out of their beds. You’ll have to come back later today.” Said the headmistress, her voice sweeter than I’d ever heard it. I walked out, and down the hall, before hearing a man say. “Go get Sage Winters, and make it quick, if you don’t, I will have the police here within ten minutes! It’s taken me this long to find my goddaughter, and you are not going to keep me from her!” He snapped. I rushed to hide behind the pillar by the stairs, my foot sliding against the floor. Mabel cooed on my chest, and I bounced her, trying to get her to quiet down. “Who’s there?” The Headmistress snapped. I knew if I didn’t go out, she’d lose her temper, so I quietly stepped out from the shadows, walking to her side, looking down at Mabel. I kept my eyes on Mabel, bouncing her softly, trying to get her to go back to sleep. “Sage..” she said softly, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Sage.. Sage Winters?” The man asked from next to me. I looked up to the headmistress and she sighed, turning to him. “Yes.. this is Sage.. but sir, you have to understand.. she..” she began, but the man rushed in the door, pulling me into a hug. I stiffened up, looking down to Mabel who was smiling up at me. He looked down, staring at the two of us. “Is this.. your daughter Sage?” He asked. I shook my head, but kissed Mabel’s head, and brushed her hair back. “No, Mabel is one of the girls that lives here. Sage just takes care of her, I guess it’s her maternal instincts, she’s always been so good with the other girls.” The headmistress walked over to me, and held out her hands. “Give Mabel to me dear..” she demanded. I pulled Mabel closer to my chest, hugging her tightly, as tears begun to spill down my cheeks. I kissed her head, over and over again. I knew that leaving her here would be detrimental to her, she’d be absolutely devastated, and alone without me. “How about this..” the man said from beside me. “We could take Mabel with us, my sister has always wanted a child, but couldn’t conceive on her own. She lives right next door, so you could check on her at any time.” He smiled down at me.