UNN or nothing

UNN or Nothing *Present. Admission Office, UNN* “Eww,” I muttered, collecting the letter. My fingers trembled against the paper. “From medicine to microbiology.” I felt like puking, but my cut-off mark was 279. I was really close. MBBS needed 310, but this freaking non-indigene wahala won’t give me the chance. *One week earlier....* “I would love the state university. At least it's close to home,” I said. “What do you think?” Hannah asked. Silence. “Joyce!” Hannah snapped, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Are you even here?” Hannah waved at my face. “Huh?” I blinked. “What were you saying?” “All the while you were out of the world. Are you even okay?” “I'm fine.” “I was saying, will you study in the state university? At least it is affordable, quick to obtain admission, and even close to home. What do you think?” “Ah! You never tire for this place? Born here, kindergarten here, primary school here, secondary school here,” I said, counting on my fingers to her face. “And now university, you still wan make I study am here! Haba! Now dem swear for you?” My dream school is UNN, University of Nigeria, Nsukka. Got it!” I said, fanning my face. “Sometimes you dey daydream, oh,” Hannah said, touching my forehead as if examining me. “Just snap out of it. Better put UNIPORT or it won't be easy for you, o. Mine is UNIPORT and I'm 90% sure I'll be admitted.” “In 4 years I'll be a professional accountant,” she said, closing her eyes dreamingly. I gave her a hard knock on the head, and you should see the expression on her face. “You are the dreamer here. Imagine yourself in the future, four years ahead.” “May I ask who gave you those weird decisions? I'm not against you being an accountant, or whatever. But aren't you really tired of this environment? Like, are you not planning to travel beyond this your father’s land?” “That's not it. It was my big sis’ idea. You know she's a graduate — she really knows everything about university.” “Now I get why your eyes are too small to realize what you're preparing yourself for. Heck, I'm sick of you.” “What are you trying to say? That my sis doesn't know what she's telling me?” Hannah huffed. I tugged her ear like an African mother advising her only daughter. “Come to think of it, your sister wey say make you study for UNIPORT, wetin make she no go the UNIPORT na? She twerk go UNIBEN. Why your own come dey different, abi? Wait o!” I folded my hands, releasing her ear which I’m sure hurt badly. “No tell me say na because of David make you still dey for this Port Harcourt. Aye! Wallahi, you are wasted, Hannah. You are really wasted.” “Abeg, no bring David matter here. Who dey even talk to that moron sef!” she defended herself. “No be you go put UNIPORT and wetin sef? That una yeye polytechnic as second choice, hmm.” “UNN or nothing,” I said. “Nothing person wan tell me na my first and last choice.” “Na you know,” Hannah said, popping her bubble gum. “Graduate from UNIPORT, an indigene of UNIPORT. I also heard she finished her secondary and pre-primary school in Port Harcourt. And now she is getting married to a Port Harcourt man, Mr. David Augustine. Imagine that biography na?” We both burst out laughing. “Shey e funny you?” I said. “Take my advice and you will thank me later.” “You dey dangerously funny. Abeg, make I dey go my house before you feed me with your poisonous advice,” Hannah said, standing up. “Who invited you in the first place? In fact, I’ve changed my mind. Na USA I want study if e dey possible.” “African Joseph! Keep dreaming, your dreams shall come through,” Hannah replied, shutting the gate. *Present. Admission Office, UNN* “Young lady, I am sure I’m not the cause of your predicament. You changing course does not warrant you throwing such a hateful glare at me.” “Accept it or you rewrite the JAMB,” he shrugged, showing no sign of remorse. “No!! I won't. That's a big No! In capital letters. Rewrite my butt. How would you say such a thing? My anger fit boil a pot of porridge yam.” “Then get lost! You are occupying the space for other incoming students.” “Eww. I hate this. I really do. If not for seniority, I for pam that e bald head make e for feel the kind pain I feel.” I left the office. My anger knew no bounds.