When the Fate Changes

Chapter 15

DYLAN

We stayed quiet inside the car for almost an hour but I'm still feeling angry about what she thinks of Tammy even though she actually doesn't know a single thing about her.

"Can you stop the car?" I said not looking at her, breathing heavily.

"You know, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to say that things to--

"Just stop the car! I don't want to hear any words you want to say for now. I want to think. You know I thought you would understand me, because it's not only you who thinks she's bad. I don't have someone by my side. I'm feeling all alone but then... I don't know. Just stop this car, please!"

She slowly stopped the car on the side of the road and I opened the door and go out quickly. I just keep on walking and trying to stop myself from looking at her. I know she's still not driving the car even though I already walked meters away from her. But, suddenly she drove so fast and I saw her passing the cars easily.

I'm not thinking that she will pull me to go back to the car and stop me to walk from these cold night. And, I even more realized now that she actually doesn't really care for me. I don't know where am I going I just want to walk and forgot everything for a while. I feel depressed, I still feel hope that I can still see Tammy and we can marry and live together again.

But, the fact that I'm also feeling hopeless because I can't still find my body is the hardest thing to think about. Why do these things happen to me? I live as a lawyer serving for the people and I know that I don't have enemies but why? Why it has to be me to feel this miserable life?

The hardest thing of putting my feet on other shoes is when I can't remove it and go back. I thought I needed to always forgot my past and move forward but in my case, moving forward is the hardest thing to do. I feel like this time, I can't do everything I always used to do. I need to forget all the people I used to know. And, live as if my fate changes.

I'm having a dilemma if I will still continue to go back and continue everything or I will move forward and forget everything.

I got my feet hurts and got chills through the cold night from thinking and walking with kilometers. I don't know where to go and the only place that will help me is Dr. Hillary's place. I feel tired and I think it's time to lower my pride. I know this will also end. I think if I will find Tammy that is when I need to decide if I can continue or not. Actually, still thinking of what I need to continue but for now, facing Hillary again is the best thing to do.

I actually hope she still wants to help me.

I rode a bus to get to Dr. Hillary's house. It was really too far and I'm thinking if she's already sleeping or if I got there my stuff was already outside the house and she doesn't really care about me anymore. But, I don't think she's that type of person.

Why do I have to shout on someone who's actually helping me to get back to my life? I know it's really her opinion, it's like I'm not the person a while ago.

After the ride from the bus I walked again to go to Dr. Hillary's house. I feel my heart's beating so fast from anxiety and nervousness. As I get to her house, I saw the gate was freely opened. I don't know if I will get angry again or not about why did she forget to close the gate knowing that she's a girl and many bad people can take this opportunity to do bad things to her and the house.

I locked the gate and as I walk again I saw the doors and windows are still open too. I get inside and lock the door. I turn around and saw Dr. Hillary sitting and sleeping in the sofa while hugging the pillow sitting on her lap. She's still wearing the dress she wear that means she waited for me. I smiled from overwhelm, she actually cares for me.

I don't want to wake her up. I saw her lips move like she's murmuring something so I go near her face and try to listen on what she's saying.

"I'm... Sorry Mr. Dy... Dylan" she said. I feel my heart race for a bit as I looked at her face closely. I know I don't have to feel that way but I felt the sincerity of that words she said.

I saw her slowly opening her eyes. I want to move but I feel my body locked from her and the distance of our faces was not too far from each other. She looked me in the eyes shocked and she turn her face on the right side that's when I stand up.

"I'm sorry, its just that I'm trying to listen on what you're saying while your asleep" I explained. She still can't talk and look at me slowly.

"I'm the one who needs to be sorry about what happened... You know, I'm glad your back I thought you really run away. I'm actually trying to give you space to think and relax and I'm still thinking of how I''m going to get back at you about everything I said to Tammy. I know it hurts your pride so much. And I promised you, it will never happen again. " she said and smile.

"It's okay, I'm also really sorry" we talk about what we realize on everything. We talk comfortably like we know each for too long. It was the nicest thing happen after feeling angry, depressed and lonely for everything.

Dr. Hillary is the only person I can talk to about my past and my future. She's the only person for now who can help me walk on these shoes and find ways to remove it.