The Pessimistic Side Of Homosexuality

Mental health is real and I want to spread more awareness to young gay males because many of them don't take it seriously and it affects their personal lives. In a psychological and emotional way. They not even aware because they used it and their brain is programmed that way. Gayness comes with lot of pessimistic things that damage the individual. I wrote this according to my gay journey and my experience. We have different experiences and some may relate to mine and understand themselves better. Psychological which leads to delusions where you think every heterosexual (straight) person might be attracted to you judging by their actions and the little gestures they do to you. The type of attraction that first pops up to your mind is romantic attraction because you find it strange for a heterosexual person to behave that way towards a gay person. Being delusional as a homosexual man lead me having limerence for every guy that will be more than kind to me and that sucks because that's not the case. Others where being kind to show me that they are not homophobic and others took me as their cool gay friend. During this moment you think everything is possible because you are delusional, you believe everything your mind tells you. And when it's time to feed your delusions you dont successed because that person is not on the same page as you, They view you as their cool friend. Then am the one who is overthinking and left with feelings that are hurt and emotional. These feelings lead to depression, anxiety, limerence and self doubt . I have experienced this many times from secondary to high school because i had lot of heterosexual friends. Being gay as a young teen in high school was not cool, Because I was falling and crushing for dudes that are heterosexual. And i will console myself thinking maybe they are bisexual and they not, then i end up in the mental health trap. Sometimes you are not delusional you can't fall for someone just because they being kind to you, You fall for them because they are falling for you too. Just that they are scared to show their feelings and it's hard for them because they care about the social norms. So they play on the safe side. They show their feelings by teasing them(the gay person) to get their attention, saying nasty comments about them. Or even bully them like beating them for no reason, follow all their social media accounts and stalk them. They create fake accounts where they can be gay free and text them, The list is long it goes on and on. They do these things because they can't control their feelings when they see you. Even when they try to mute them the butterflies get worse everytime. People who stay in closet their mental health is not okay. And when you like them you join them inside the closet and their unhealthy mental without realizing. Lot of heterosexual man are good at gaydars but when they do it much thats a sign they might be gay. Not gonna lie right now everybody is gay and they are really good at hiding it so it can be hard to see unless the person makes it very clear.