Addiction

44

Ellen walked over and set our plates down in front of us. She gave us a sympathetic look. When she walked away I looked back up at James. "And it does matter. Can't you sue them for printing this nonsense? They didn't even check any of their facts. It's a joke of a news report."

He sighed. "I just want this to blow over as fast as possible. A lawsuit will make it worse. It'll draw it out. I don't want to drag you into this. I'll be fine."

Drag me into it? I'm in the middle of it already. He wasn't dragging me into a fight with his ex-wife. This involved me too. I must have made a face because he squeezed my knee.

"Really, it's fine."

"I'm coming."

"Well, we need to get going soon if you insist on coming, so eat."

I wasn't hungry. I couldn't believe he wasn't mad. I was mad for him. I picked up my fork and took a bite of the eggs. They were probably the most delicious eggs I had ever eaten. "Ellen, these are fantastic."

She smiled over at us. "I'm glad that you like them. Eat, James."

I hadn't realized that James was just sitting there. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He smiled at me and began to eat.

The dynamic between James and Ellen was pretty clear. She was very motherly and caring. She was the mother he never had. I appreciated her even more because of that. When I finished my eggs and toast I pushed my plate away.

James stood up but hesitated. "Do you want to wear a hoodie or something? I don't want..."

"I want to be with you. No more hiding. Besides, everyone already knows."

"I'd really prefer if you let me do this by myself, Penny. There's no reason why you should be there."

"I'm going to get in trouble too. I have to be there."

He lowered his eyebrows slightly. "You won't. But if you insist, let's go do it then." He held out his hand for me and I grabbed it.

"Good luck," Ellen said to us as we stepped onto the elevator.

When the doors closed I looked up at James. "I like her. She seems really nice."

"She is."

I looked down at my shoes. "Are you nervous?"

"Not really. I have everything that I want. Teaching doesn't define me. Like I told you on our first date, I don't think we're doing anything wrong. This feels right to me."

"It feels right to me too. It's weird, you know. I never in a million years thought I'd be in this situation. I didn't even have my first kiss until last semester. And now I'm embarking on this big scandalous affair with my professor. I'm not even sure my parents will believe me."

James laughed. "You should have called them already. This is just going to get worse as the day goes on."

"I'll call them later. I need to know what the dean says first." I squeezed his hand. I was procrastinating. I was dreading that phone call. "What did you vandalize?"

He laughed again. "There was this professor I hated. I had him for an 8 a.m. The night before one of his classes my friends and I broke into the classroom and drew...vulgar things all over the chalkboard."

"With chalk?"

"Yeah."

"Is that really vandalism?"

He shrugged. "I didn't think so. And I didn't get arrested for it either. It was a harmless prank. Hilarious, but harmless."

"So another lie."

"Mhm."

"And were you arrested for underage drinking?"

"I got a warning. They had a three strikes policy like they do here. I only had two strikes, one for that and one for the chalkboard thing. I was never arrested while I was in Harvard."

In Harvard? I didn't want to press him about it right now. The doors opened and we walked over to his car. He opened up the door for me.

"Well, you're lucky I don't hate you. Or maybe I would have pulled a prank like that on you. I wonder what you would have done if you came into class and there were obscene things all over your chalkboard?"

"I probably would have thought you were giving me suggestions of what I should do to you next." He raised his eyebrow at me and then pulled the car out of the parking spot.

I laughed as we exited the parking garage. As soon as his car emerged, cameras started flashing. I held my hand up in front of my face. "So are they here because you're a rich, eligible bachelor or would this really normally be that big of a deal?"

"I don't know. I'm sure my name doesn't help the situation." He sped off down Main Street. It was early and there was barely anyone out. "I want you to let me do the talking, okay? I'm going to fix this for you. That's my top priority." He pulled into a spot outside a building I had never been in before. Luckily there weren't any news vans outside.

"I wish you had just been a student."

He laughed. "I think you love that you're dating your professor."

My stomach was in knots. "I do. Let's get this over with." I reached for the door handle.

"Hey." He grabbed my chin in his hand. "We got this, okay?" He leaned toward me and kissed me. When he began to pull away I grabbed a fistful of his hair and deepened the kiss. I needed reassurance. I wanted to believe that I wasn't throwing away my education for nothing. He was my future. This was real. It had to be.

I heard the familiar groan in his throat. "We need to stop or I won't be able to go in there. Having an erection during our meeting with the dean would probably be frowned upon."

I laughed and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you." He opened up his car door and walked around to my side. He put his hand out for me and I grabbed it. We continued to hold hands as we went into the building. It was the first time we had done something like this in public. And I was grateful for his touch, because I was so nervous.

We entered through the side door and made our way through the lobby and down the hallway. He dropped my hand when he opened a door and I walked in before him. There was a young, blonde receptionist. She immediately smiled when she saw James, but her face fell slightly when he grabbed my hand again.

"Hi, Becca. We have a meeting with Joe."

"Yes. Joe is expecting you." She picked up a phone on the desk and punched in a few numbers. "Your 7 a.m. is here." She looked over at me. "Yes, she's here too." She paused again. "Okay," she said and hung up the receiver. "He'll be right out." She looked once more at James and then her eyes drifted back to her computer screen.