OUR STORY (BxB)

Chapter 10

-TAMARO-

I've started shooting my first drama, sharing scenes with some of the biggest actors and actresses. It's exciting—but mostly, I feel lost. Everything's new. I don't know what I'm doing. And from the moment shooting wraps, I head straight to dance practice. I haven't told the members how stressed I am. I keep it all to myself.

I barely have time for Akiro anymore, and I miss him more than I can admit out loud. Every time I come home to the dorm, I fall asleep instantly. It's like my body's on autopilot—no energy left to feel.

I haven't told anyone that I cry when I'm alone. That I feel this bone-deep exhaustion.

One night, I finished shooting and went straight to the studio. I was starving—my head aching from hunger and fatigue. When I saw a box of pizza, I didn't even think. I reached for a slice, just needing something to hold me up. But Jemuel got angry. We argued. The fight was childish, I know... but I was too tired to care. Too hungry to explain myself. We got kicked out of the studio.

I wish someone had asked if I was okay.

After the fight, Jemuel and I avoided each other for days. The air between us was tense and quiet. I couldn't even talk to Akiro properly—I was too stressed, too wrapped up in everything. And I could feel he was keeping his distance too. Maybe he was sulking. Maybe he was hurt. I felt it.

One day, after my shoot, I got a message from Jemuel. He wanted to talk. So, I went to the park—the place we always go to when we're overwhelmed. I sat on one of the benches, waiting. He approached quietly.

"Tamaro," he said, his voice tight with emotion.

"I'm sorry. I was so insensitive that day."

He was crying.

"Hey, stop crying," I said gently. "I know we're all exhausted, all stressed. Don't worry—I understand you." I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, holding him close.

We talked everything through, not just the fight, but the weight of it all. I told him how tired I was. How heavy things had felt. Jemuel is my best friend—my soulmate. I can't stay angry at him for long. That's how much I love him. That kind of love is solid. It's the kind that stays, no matter how rough the days get.

I just wrapped another day of shooting and headed back to the dorm. There's no dance practice tonight—we have a performance tomorrow, so everyone's resting. When I arrived, they were already asleep. I crept in quietly and lay down next to Akiro, pulling him close. He's the only one who can ease this kind of tiredness, even though lately, he's been pulling away.

I understand him. I haven't had time for him—not like before.

"Roo, did you just come home?" he asked softly, pulling my hand tighter around him.

"Yes, baby... let's sleep. I'm tired," I murmured, drifting off before I could hear his reply.

Time passed, and my drama filming started to wind down. The exhaustion never stopped. I shared my stress with Jemuel—he's my safe space for venting. But I never opened up to Akiro. And maybe that was my mistake. He began creating distance—stepping back when we were alone with the members. I felt it. Quiet moments that used to be ours started slipping away.

Then he posted something—his art, titled "CHANGE ME." I stared at it. Something about it felt... like a message. But we never talked about it. I didn't ask. I just let it sit there. Like us.

"Scared of what?" I asked, my voice barely holding steady.

Akiro took a breath but didn't look at me.

"Scared of feeling like I'm not part of your world anymore," he whispered. "You're meeting all these actors, growing so fast. You're changing... and I'm just here. Watching from the side."

I didn't know what to say right away. I squeezed his hand—hoping it would speak for everything I couldn't.

"I never wanted you to feel like that," I said quietly. "You're not just part of my world—you helped me build it."

He finally looked at me.

"I know you love me, Roo. But sometimes I feel like I'm being left behind. And then I wonder... am I just someone you're used to having beside you? Or do you really need me there?"

That question hit harder than I expected. Because it's the same one I'd asked myself, just nights ago.

"I do need you," I said. "Even when I'm busy... even when I don't say it. I still look for you."

"I'm scared of everything," he said quietly. "I'm scared because I'm not sure about my feelings for you. I'm scared because... what if the company finds out? What will happen to us?"

The words hit me harder than I expected. I felt myself freeze.

So, I was right. He was confused. About us.

I let go of his hand. Slowly. Quietly.

He looked at me then—his expression searching, unsure. Like he was hoping I'd say something, but not certain what that should be.

For a moment, I just stared back. The weight of everything we hadn't said resting between us.

"Did I rush things?" I asked, my voice low, shaky. "I'm sorry I haven't had enough time for you. I'm sorry I made you feel afraid. But you have to know... I'm scared too."

I couldn't look at him. Not yet. One glance and I'd fall apart.

"But every time I see you, I find the strength to keep going. That's how much I love you, Akiro."

He looked at me, soft and trembling.

"Roo, don't say sorry. I'm the one who's confused. It's me... I'm the problem. Not you."

"I think... I'll give you time," I said softly. "Time to be sure about your feelings for me. Don't worry, I'll wait for you—no matter what. Just remember this: I love you."

Without waiting for a reply, I stood up and quietly left the dorm. My vision blurred with tears as I walked—every step heavy with the ache of something I hadn't wanted to hear.

I didn't break up with him. I couldn't. I just gave him space. Space to figure out what he truly felt. But still, it hurt deeply.

I wandered through the streets until I reached the small park near our dorm. It was late—the kind of silence that wraps around you when the world is asleep. I sat alone on a bench, and when I couldn't hold it in anymore, I cried. Loud, unfiltered, the way you do when it's just you and the night air.

And after a while... after my breathing settled and the weight began to lift, I stayed there. Letting the stillness carry me a little closer to peace.

When I got back to the dorm, everyone was asleep—except Akiro. He was sitting quietly in the living room. As soon as he saw me, he stood up and looked in my direction.

I gave him a small, tired smile and walked past without a word, straight to our room.

I lay down, facing the wall, and the tears came quietly. I cried without sound, letting each one fall as slowly as the weight I carried.

I shouldn't have done that to him.

I shouldn't have walked away like that.

Shouldn't have left him to wonder.

But I did. And now, I'm lying here with tears in my eyes, wishing I had just turned around.

The next morning, everyone was caught in the rush—we were flying to Thailand for our concert. I stayed quiet the whole day. No one spoke to me. Maybe they sensed it, maybe they didn't.

At the airport, I sat still, scrolling through Twitter, trying to keep myself distracted. Then I saw it. Akiro's tweet. He recommended a song... and added a screenshot at 1:23, highlighting the lyrics: "Please come back to me."

I froze.

The words hit harder than anything I'd prepared for. My chest tightened. I tried not to cry—tried not to let it show. I was sitting in front of the members, and I couldn't afford to fall apart here. So, I did the only thing I knew how to do: I pretended I didn't see it.

I kept silent.

Even as we landed in Thailand. Even when we all moved like usual—laughing, rehearsing, performing. That one line kept playing in my head. Over and over.

We were staying at the hotel when I received a message from my family—the most heartbreaking news I've ever received. My grandmother, the woman who raised me for fourteen years, had passed away. And I wasn't there with her.

When I received the message, I dropped my phone. It hit the floor with a soft thud, but I didn't flinch—I kept staring at it, still reading the words that didn't feel real.

Everything around me went quiet. I didn't hear a thing.

The members turned toward me, concern slowly settling across their faces. Stephen walked over. He bent down, picked up my phone, and read the message. He didn't say a single word.

Instead, he pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. Then, gently, he handed the phone to the others.

No one spoke. And somehow, that silence said everything.

When Stephen hugged me, that was the moment I finally broke. My knees buckled beneath the weight of everything, and I cried—messy, trembling, unable to hold it in. Still, Stephen didn't let go. The others came soon after, their arms and words gentle, trying to gather my pieces.

Why is this happening to me? First, the exhaustion from drama shooting—the kind that empties you out. Then Akiro, so suddenly uncertain, pulled away with no warning, no closure. And now, the worst of it—my beloved grandmother, gone.

Why?

I don't remember doing anything wrong to anyone. I gave my all. I loved quietly, fiercely. So why does it hurt this much to live right now?

-AKIRO-

My whole body felt alive when Tamaro was with us. It's always more fun when all seven of us are complete—he brings so much life into our group. He's so cheerful that it's impossible to tell when he's feeling down.

It's our last day in Norway, and we're heading to the airport. Tamaro's not with us this time—his flight got delayed again. Just like when we first left, I messaged him to let him know where we were and what I was doing. He did the same, messaging me back. When we finally arrived in Sweden, I sent him a quick update.

Harly and I headed to the apartment where we'd be staying. We were on the bus when he suddenly turned to me and asked:

"How are you and Tamaro?"

I blinked, surprised.

"Huh?"

He smiled.

"Haiztt. How's your relationship with Tamaro? What's it like... being in a relationship?"

I scratched the back of my neck, feeling a little awkward.

"What?"

He laughed.

"You two are really becoming teenagers," he teased.

"Right now, things are okay between Tamaro and me," I told Harly, smiling softly. "We're still adjusting to each other. There were moments we didn't see eye to eye, but we always managed to fix things quickly."

"That's part of any relationship," he replied, squeezing my hand. "Understanding each other matters. And remember, your brothers and I are always here to support you."

"Thank you, bro," I said, heart warmed by his reassurance. We've always known our older brothers have our backs—and it means the world. Their presence, their quiet strength, that's exactly what we need right now.

When we arrived at the apartment, Harly and I went straight out for a walk. I took photos of whatever caught my eye and sent them to Tamaro—just my way of keeping him close, letting him see the things I was seeing.

A few hours later, he called. He was lost. He didn't know where they were. And just like that, my anxiety kicked in. I knew the staff wouldn't leave him behind, but still... I couldn't help worrying. That's just how it is when you care.

Still, Tamaro's a positive soul. I know he'll find joy wherever he ends up. And true to form, he kept sending me pictures of the beautiful scenery around him—each one a little reminder that even in the unfamiliar, he sees something worth sharing.

I still couldn't shake the thoughts from my mind. I kept wondering where he was. The sky had already darkened by the time we gathered at the restaurant for dinner. I should've been thinking about Tamaro, but everything shifted when chaos broke out—Renz had lost his passport. Panic spread fast. Everyone feared he might have to return to the Philippines alone, missing out on our trip to Finland.

Minutes later, Tamaro arrived at the restaurant. I wanted to hug him right then, but there were too many staff around us. The moment was difficult—quiet, restrained. We just looked at each other and somehow, that was enough. No words. Just a glance, and we understood. We ate dinner with the group and then headed back to the apartment. We needed to rest; we'd be leaving early tomorrow.

That night, Tamaro and I slept beside each other. We were always at ease like this. He couldn't sleep without a pillow to hug, so sometimes he hugged me instead. And just like that, he'd drift off. I'd gotten used to it—he's been doing that since we were trainees.

Tomorrow, we'll make new memories with the members. I feel it already—something good is waiting for us.

-TAMARO-

I found myself alone again, traveling without the others. We took the wrong bus and ended up in a place I didn't recognize. I was with the camera director, and rather than complain, I chose to walk around and take in the scenery. This place was unexpectedly beautiful. I snapped a photo and sent it to Akiro—he always wants to see what I'm seeing.

I knew he was worried; his messages kept coming. So I called to ease his mind, telling him the staff would come for us soon. I kept thinking, I want to take him to places like this. He'd love it here—I'm sure of that.

An hour passed, and the staff finally picked us up. When I arrived at the restaurant, there was a bit of a commotion—Renz had lost his passport. I saw the fear in his eyes. I gave him a small smile, and he understood what I meant: breathe, you're not alone.

The next morning, we went to a tourist spot somewhere in Sweden. But somewhere along the way, we got separated. Akiro climbed the hill with Joshua and Stephen. I stayed behind, watching from a distance.

I rented a bike to explore the area, and just as I was circling back, Akiro came down from the hill. He hopped on the back and we rode off together, laughing the whole time. Moments like this only happen once, and we knew how precious it was. After biking around, we walked a little, soaking in the place before boarding the ferry that would take us to the cruise ship where we'd stay overnight.

The ferry ride was its own little adventure. I even pranked the members—turns out they'd hidden my bag, so I acted a little extra annoying just to stir things up. I know them well enough to catch when they're just pretending, so I played along with their tripping.

Everyone was surprised by my prank—except Akiro. He knows me too well. He figured out right away I was just acting, but he went along with it anyway. We both laughed until our stomachs hurt.

This... this felt good. That rare kind of good where you're not thinking about deadlines or expectations. You're just doing fun things. Just being.

Akiro and I sat side by side on the ferry. We had taken so many photos together—just for us, keepsakes tucked away as quiet memories. After we ate, I asked him to come with me to the deck. I wanted him alone with me in a place like this. It was so romantic. I told the staff not to follow; thankfully, they agreed. They needed rest too.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as we stood facing the wide sea, ringed by tall mountains. He leaned his head against my shoulder, one hand resting gently around my waist.

"It's beautiful here, baby. I want to go to places like this with only you," I said, pulling him closer.

"We will, Roo. Maybe not now, but someday. That's what I want too," he said, smiling as he looked up at me.

I kissed the top of his head, and together we watched the quiet beauty before us. I felt full, content. Today, I'm with the person I love—and that's enough.

We arrived at the port where our cruise ship was docked—massive, shining, unlike anything we'd boarded before. This was a first for all of us. And after five years together since our trainee days, it felt like we'd finally found a pocket of freedom.

We explored the ship, wide-eyed. It looked more like a floating hotel than anything else, filled with people, lights, and laughter. Eventually, we made our way to the roof deck and stayed there for a while, soaking in the energy. We even danced—for a glass of beer. The members wanted to drink, so we danced. People gathered, watched, clapped. But since I don't drink beer, they handed me a glass of strawberry juice instead.

Later, we visited the arcade. I was with Joshua and Akiro—we tried all kinds of games, laughing as if we hadn't a single worry. Another memory I'll keep close.

After dinner, the staff called us into a cabin. They said they had something important to share. Akiro sat beside me, noticeably restless. I wrapped my arms around him gently. His anxiety was starting to surface.

The staff informed us that Renz wouldn't be joining us in Finland—his papers hadn't been approved. We were heartbroken. It wouldn't be the same without him. I felt sorry for him, knowing how much he wanted to be there, to experience it all with us.

After the conversation, everyone began to settle in for the night. Akiro and I had separate cabins—he was sharing with Joshua. But I couldn't sleep. I messaged him, asking if he was still awake. He replied that he couldn't sleep either, so I invited him to meet me at the roof deck of the ship.

We both wore hoodies; the cold air wrapped around us as we sat quietly side by side, looking up at the moon. I reached for his hand, and he turned to look at me.

"Are you happy with our relationship?" I asked gently.

"Of course, Roo. Why do you ask?" he said, surprised.

"I just wanted to hear it. This is our first time in a relationship," I smiled, unsure but hopeful.

He squeezed my hand tighter. I looked at him.

"We're not going to let go of each other, are we?"

"Never, baby. I'll hold your hand until the end," I assured him.

"No matter what trials come, I hope no one gets left behind."

"That won't happen," I said, leaning down to kiss his hand.

Akiro and I will go through so much more in the years ahead. Especially now, when the company still doesn't know about us. Our group is only just beginning to gain recognition abroad—we're still at the edge of our dreams. That's why we have to be careful. Quiet. Intentional. But I'm not worried. He promised me he wouldn't let go. And I believe him.

We were at the airport, ready to fly to Finland. Renz was there too, but his flight was headed back to the Philippines. We were sad—we wouldn't be complete on this part of the journey. But we all held onto one thought: we're still whole, no matter where we are. Especially when we return home.

When we landed in Finland, we went straight to the camping vans. We were headed into the countryside. But first, we stopped to eat and buy groceries. Akiro and I stayed close, just laughing with the members, enjoying each moment. The cameras were there, but we didn't think about them anymore. The staff were used to seeing us together.

They just don't know why.

They don't know that we're in love.

After we finished grocery shopping, we drove toward the campsite. Akiro and I stayed close the entire ride. We didn't do much—just played cards, exchanged jokes, and laughed together. It felt so good to be away from the stress... away from the expectations... away from the reality of everything we're trying to hide.

It was already night by the time we arrived. Everyone pitched in to prepare dinner, though the rain made it tough. Stephen struggled with the charcoal—it was our first time cooking over one, after all.

And then came Akiro, saving the moment. He fanned the charcoal with exaggerated flair until the flames puffed up, dramatic as ever. We couldn't help but laugh—my baby's always got some kind of mischievous charm going on.

He's always the ramen guy. Even back in the dorm, he makes ramen for all of us. That night, he served me first, placing some on my plate before fixing his own. That's just who he is—thoughtful, caring. Total boyfriend material. Honestly, between the two of us, he feels more like the older one.

There are days I don't take life all that seriously. I just go where things take me. But when it comes to him... I'm serious. Always.

We ended up staying up late, almost until morning. After dinner, we just kept talking, kept laughing. It's one of those nights I'll carry with me—light, unfiltered, quietly meaningful.

When we woke up, the members agreed to spend the morning by the sea. The breeze was crisp and fresh—it felt good on the skin, like a gentle reminder to breathe slower. We started writing whatever came to mind in the sand. I picked up a stick, drew a big heart, and inside it I wrote: "Akiro loves Tamaro forever." The members burst out laughing when they saw it.

I just wanted them to know how much I love him. When I glanced at Akiro, he was scratching the back of his neck, trying to hide a smile.

We danced our newest song right there on the sand, carefree and loud. Our playfulness echoed with laughter across the shore. While some of the others chased each other around, I noticed Akiro standing alone at the edge of the water, eyes closed, face turned toward the sea. He was a bit far from everyone—quiet, thoughtful.

I walked up behind him, wrapped my arm around his waist. Instinctively, he rested his head against my shoulder.

"What are you thinking?" I asked softly.

"Nothing, Roo. Just letting myself enjoy the sea breeze."

I stayed quiet after that. I wanted to enjoy it too.

Then he said my name.

"Roo."

"Mmm?"

"What if the company finds out about us? What happens to us?"

I paused. "Would you agree if we were separated?"

"Of course not," he answered, looking up at me. "I've never felt like this before. Not once in my life."

I smiled and tightened my hold on him. "Don't think about it now, baby. We'll face that bridge if we get there."

"Haiztt... you never take anything seriously, do you?" he said, grinning.

"There's one thing I do take seriously," I said, my voice more certain. "You."

He smiled. That kind of smile you remember long after the moment has passed.

We stayed for a few more minutes until the members called us back to the van. It was already late. We had to prepare dinner, and tomorrow we'd be leaving, so tonight would be our last sleep here. After we ate, we cleaned up everything so there'd be nothing to worry about in the morning.

The staff had already turned in for the night. It was just the members now. They agreed to have a few drinks before bed. While they talked and sipped quietly, I sat next to him, my head resting on his shoulder, scrolling through pictures of the two of us from the trip.

Stephen looked over and asked seriously, "When we get back to the Philippines, what are you two planning?"

I paused, lifted my head, and took a deep breath.

"We're not telling the company yet. Akiro's only nineteen... maybe after his birthday," I replied.

"But they have the right to know, Tamaro," Joshua added.

"We'll tell them, bro. But not now. Our group's just starting to get noticed," I said, voice steady but firm.

Stephen nodded. "Whatever your decision, just remember—we're here to support you."

"Thanks, bro," I said softly.

They kept drinking into the night. I don't remember if they went on until morning—I'd already fallen asleep, my eyes heavy with exhaustion and my heart full from everything this trip had become.