OUR STORY (BxB)

Chapter 12

-AKIRO-

After my birthday, Tamaro talked to me about our relationship. I felt like I had lost someone very important to me. He apologized, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. The truth is, I'm the one dealing with a problem. I can't handle the intensity of my feelings for him. I'm caught between wanting to confess and doubting what I truly feel. I'm already twenty years old and legally an adult, but I still find it hard to navigate these emotions.

I know he loves me deeply—and I feel it in the way he looks at me, speaks to me. I love him too, but not as deeply as he loves me. When he said he would give me time to sort through my feelings, I suddenly realized something: I don't want to lose him.

That night, I felt anxious while waiting for him in the dorm. It was three in the morning, and he still hadn't come back. I didn't sleep—I just kept waiting. When he finally returned, I stood up, ready to go to him. But he only looked at me and smiled faintly, then walked past me and entered the room. My heart felt like it was torn apart when I saw his eyes, red and swollen from crying.

When he entered the room, I was still sitting on the sofa, staring at the door. I didn't even notice my tears had started falling. What did I do to him? I should have understood him—I'm his partner. But I let my immaturity take over.

It hurt, seeing him hurting. I cried silently in the living room, replaying everything I'd said and done. I was selfish. I was a coward. And all I wanted was for him to come back to me.

We were at the airport when I posted a song on Twitter. I screenshotted the lyrics at 1:23, with the line "come back to me" highlighted. It was my way of telling him, without saying it out loud, that I still wanted him. He didn't break up with me, not officially—but since my birthday, we haven't spoken. And it feels like a breakup anyway.

Joshua sat beside me and bumped my shoulder. I turned to him, and he was serious.

"Tell me. I'll listen," he said.

I knew exactly what he meant. I just pretended I didn't.

"Huh?"

"I know something happened between you and Tamaro," Joshua said seriously. "It's not just me—everyone in the group feels it. We've kept quiet, but now... tell me what it is."

I sat still for a moment, his words settling into me. I wanted to burst into tears right then, right there, with Joshua. I swallowed hard before I started talking.

I told him everything.

He didn't interrupt. He just listened.

When I finished, I looked at him and said, "Joshua... it's my fault." I was trying not to cry. We were sitting a bit away from the others, still at the airport, surrounded by people—but in that moment, it felt like it was just the two of us.

"It's natural to feel confused about your feelings for him," Joshua said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "But that doesn't mean it's your fault. You're still young, Akiro. Maybe you're just used to being with him all the time, and you've mistaken that comfort for love."

"Bro... I don't want to lose him," I said quietly.

"Then talk to him. Tell him everything you need to say," he replied.

"Thank you, bro."

I'm genuinely grateful—to be surrounded by people who understand, who don't judge, who let me feel all of this without asking me to hide it.

When we arrived at the hotel in Thailand, we gathered in one room for a brief meeting. He stayed silent in the corner the entire time.

When the meeting ended, we all stood up, ready to head to our rooms—then we heard something hit the floor. We turned around and saw his phone lying there. He just stared at it, motionless.

We glanced at each other in quiet concern. Stephen stepped forward, picked up the phone, then handed it to Joshua. Tamaro still hadn't moved. I noticed his hand shaking slightly.

Without saying a word, Joshua pulled him into a hug.

When Stephen hugged him, he burst into tears. My heart sank seeing him cry like that. Joshua handed us his phone, and we read the message. Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw that his grandma had passed away.

I rushed to him right away. Stephen gently let go and stepped aside to give me space. I hugged Tamaro tightly and cried with him. I could hear the other members crying too.

"Roo, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," I whispered in his ear. He hugged me back, still silent, just crying and letting the pain take over. Seeing him like that hurt me even more—it made everything feel twice as heavy.

The members and staff offered their condolences to Tamaro. I stayed with him the whole time. I walked him to his room and let him rest. We didn't say anything—we just held hands on the way there, and I didn't want to let go.

When he sat down on the bed, he started crying quietly. I hugged him and cried with him. I could feel the depth of his pain.

"Roo, I'm really sorry. I know this isn't the right time... but please come back to me," I said through tears.

He didn't respond, but he hugged me tightly. I cried even harder. I knew what that meant. He had accepted me again.

Even though he was in pain, the show had to go on. We continued performing through the concert and all the way until we returned to the Philippines. I stayed by his side the entire time, and slowly, we found our way back to how things used to be—like the argument had never happened.

Whenever the cameras were rolling, you'd see him smiling, laughing, acting like everything was fine. But off-camera, he was still broken. He misses his grandmother deeply, and that pain hasn't gone away.

The members never left him alone. We made sure he was okay. But the pain didn't stop there. The company has started to pull us apart. We never told them about our relationship, but I think they're beginning to suspect.

There were moments when I just wanted to sit with him or stand beside him, but the staff would signal for us to keep our distance. It's really hard.

But when there's no camera, they can't separate us.

We're backstage now for our final concert in the Philippines.

The staff asked us to keep our distance from each other—for our own good, they said. We followed the instructions.

The concert began, and we performed in front of thousands of fans. Then came the time for our closing messages. None of us expected him to talk about his grandmother's passing. As he spoke to the fans, I stood there listening. Everyone was crying for him.

I couldn't stop my own tears. They flowed like a river.

I felt every bit of his pain.

I wanted to run to him and hug him in front of everyone. But I couldn't. I stayed where I was.

I hated it.

I hated feeling like a coward.

When he finished speaking, Jemuel ran to him and hugged him. I cried even harder. I should've been the one hugging him. I should've been by his side.

I hated myself for being a coward.

After the concert, we packed up and went straight back to the dorm. Everyone was tired and went to their rooms. Tamaro and I stayed in the living room.

"Roo, you're not sleepy?" I asked.

"I can't sleep," he said, resting his head on my shoulder. I gently held his hand.

"Roo, I'm sorry. I wasn't strong enough to fight for you," I said, trying not to cry again.

He looked at me, confused.

"What are you talking about, baby?"

"I'm scared, Roo. I'm scared because they're starting to separate us," I said.

He cupped my face, and I looked into his eyes.

"Baby, they're only keeping us apart in front of the cameras—not behind them. See? We're still here. I can still hug you. I can still kiss you," he said, smiling.

That's what I love most about Roo—he always finds the light, even when everything feels heavy.

I didn't respond with words. I just kissed him, and he kissed me back.

"I love you, baby. Thank you for staying with me," he whispered.

"I love you, Roo. Thank you for coming back to me."

Being in a relationship with him is risky. We don't know what could happen if the company finds out.

The question lingers in my mind:

Are we ready for the consequences?

-TAMARO-

It's been one year since our relationship began. Our first year was filled with moments of immaturity and selfishness, but we've grown through it together.

We celebrated our anniversary quietly, right here in the dorm. No fancy plans—just a simple cake, shared with the members. The company still doesn't know. Everyone's waiting for the right moment to tell them.

We've become bolder in public. Even at music award shows and other events, we always stick together. We don't care about the cameras—everything between us feels natural. And behind the scenes, it's the same. We're inseparable.

We're busy today with a show to attend.

When I woke up, he was no longer by my side. I heard noise coming from outside the room, so I got up. Everyone was already getting ready for the day.

"Tamaro, be ready. We'll head to the company first before the show," Stephen said.

I went into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready.

"Tamaro, eat first," Akiro said as he invited me to the table. I sat beside him. He placed food on my plate, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you, baby," I whispered.

After we ate, we headed to the company. We had a meeting before going to the show. I noticed that his phone kept ringing, and he was unusually focused on it. He doesn't normally enjoy chatting, but this time he was constantly typing and even laughing. It caught me off guard.

Even after we arrived at the show venue, he was still glued to his phone. He stood quietly in the corner, smiling as he read something. I kept watching him, and slowly, jealousy started creeping in.

When the MC announced our performance, he came to stand next to me.

"Roo, are you ready?" he asked, bumping my shoulder with a smile.

I didn't respond.

I just stared at him, blankly.

The jealousy was getting to me, and I didn't know how to hide it anymore.

During the encore stage of our song, I kept ignoring him. Every time he came closer, I moved past him and walked to the other side. I didn't look at him—I just kept singing and waving to the fans. I knew the members felt the tension between us.

You can't blame me. Jealousy is getting the best of me.

He chose to spend time talking to his new friend instead of giving time to me.

Yes, I'm hurt. I want to be near him. I want his attention.

After our performance, we filmed a short video for the fans. Jemuel sat beside me, trying to get my attention, but I ignored him. I felt frustrated. I hated seeing Akiro talking and laughing with others, knowing how distant he'd felt from me lately.

I love him. But I can't stop thinking about what he told me before—that he was confused about his feelings for me. It scares me. What if he realizes he doesn't love me anymore? What if he ends up liking a girl instead of someone like me? The "what ifs" in my mind won't stop.

After the greeting video, I got up and left the group. I sat in a quiet corner and leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes. I heard someone sit beside me, but I didn't look. I already knew it was him.

"Roo, are you mad at me?" he asked.

I opened my eyes and looked at him sharply. He gulped.

"Ask yourself," I replied coldly and started to stand up, but he stopped me.

"Roo, please tell me. What's the matter?" he asked, annoyed.

"What's the matter? Seriously, Akiro?" I mocked.

"How would I know if you don't tell me?" he said, clearly frustrated.

"Go talk to your new friends. Seems like they're more important than me," I said, crossing my arms.

"Roo, we just met recently. I'm happy I found new friends," he explained.

"Friends? You've been busy with your phone since we left the dorm. All the way here. Do you know how that made me feel?" I said, trying not to cry. We were in the dressing room, a little away from the staff and the other members.

"Roo, I don't think there's anything wrong with making new friends, right?" he replied.

"No, there's nothing wrong. But it bothers me. After you told me you were confused about your feelings for me... I've been feeling anxious all the time."

"Roo, please don't say that," he said, now sounding worried.

"I'm sorry if you felt that way. But don't be jealous. Even if I talk to them and become friends with them—I'll still choose you," he said, reaching for my hand.

"I don't want to lose you. I love you. I know it's petty to be jealous over something so small, but I can't help it," I said seriously.

"I'm sorry," he replied.

I looked at him and squeezed his hand.

"Why is it that I can never stay mad at you for long?" I asked with a small smile.

"Because you love me?" he said, smiling back.

"Yes, I love you. I just hope you won't take that for granted," I said quietly.

"I won't, Roo."

After we talked, things went back to normal. We became sweet again, like the jealousy hadn't happened at all.

We're still young in this relationship, and we don't always know how to handle it properly—but we're trying.

We've started to be more affectionate, both on and off camera. We even talked about telling our parents about us—maybe after our concert in Singapore.

As days passed since the jealousy, I felt like things were finally settling. But then, I found out something... Something that broke me into pieces.

We've all been busy since winning at the music show. The schedule's packed with constant dance practices, recordings, and preparations for our upcoming concerts in Chile and Brazil. Even with everything going on, we've returned to being sweet and caring with each other.

Still, there are moments when he's unusually focused on his phone. One day, he told me he was meeting up with his new friends. I let him go—I realized that getting jealous again wouldn't do us any good.

I didn't touch his phone. I didn't read his messages. I gave him space. This time, I chose to trust him, holding on to what he once told me: that he'll always choose me.

But after that meetup, something felt different. During breaks, he would immediately reach for his phone, busy chatting. I started feeling anxious—he's never been into messaging like this. But now, it's constant. And it doesn't feel like him.

I pretended I wasn't bothered by his actions, but the truth is, I was holding it all in. I was eager to ask him about it.

After dance practice, we went straight to the dorm. One by one, everyone headed to the bathroom to shower. When it was his turn, he left his phone in the sala, right next to where I was sitting.

I was casually scrolling through social media when his phone rang. The number wasn't saved. Out of curiosity—and thinking it might be important—I answered it.

I didn't say a word. I just waited quietly, listening to whoever was on the other end.

When I heard the voice on the other end of the line, it felt like cold water had been poured over me.

I didn't want to overthink, but the way they said Akiro's name was different—gentle, calm, almost too familiar.

I ended the call abruptly. I didn't know what else to do. His phone was still in my hand when a message came through. It was from the same number that had just called.

I didn't open it. I only read the preview on the lock screen. The moment I saw the message, it felt like something blocked my throat. I didn't even realize I was crying. My knees and hands were shaking as I held the phone.

When I heard him finish in the bathroom, I quickly wiped my tears and placed his phone back on the table where he had left it. I acted like nothing had happened.

I sat back down on the sofa and pretended to be watching something on my phone when he walked out.

"Roo, go take a shower," he said, picking up his phone.

I didn't respond. I didn't look at him. Because if I did—if I spoke—I knew I'd break.

I walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and sat on the floor, crouching under the water.

As the water poured down, my tears fell with it.

I covered my mouth with my hand so no one would hear me sob. I cried silently.

No matter how hard I tried to hold it in, the tears kept falling. My heart felt broken.

Why? I hadn't done anything wrong. I just loved him.

I stayed in the bathroom for nearly an hour. If Stephen hadn't knocked, I wouldn't have come out. I took a moment to fix myself before stepping outside.

"What took you so long?" he asked.

"I just wanted to soak in the water, bro," I said quietly, not making eye contact.

No one was in the living room when I came out. As I was about to pass Stephen, he gently grabbed my arm. I didn't look at him—I just lowered my head.

"What's wrong?" he asked, serious but gentle.

I swallowed hard.

"N-nothing," I said, my throat tightening again.

"Wait for me here," he said, then went into his room. When he came out, he was wearing a hoodie—and he handed me one. I looked at him, confused, with a small frown.

"Come with me. I'm going for a walk in the park," he said, turning his back.

Even though I was confused, I put on the hoodie and followed him.

We walked in silence. I couldn't help but remember the last time I was in that park... it was the day we had that misunderstanding. Stephen and I sat on a bench facing the playground.

"Say it. I'll listen," he said, eyes forward. I wasn't surprised. He knows me too well.

The moment hit me hard—I couldn't hold back anymore. I started crying beside him. He put his arm around me, and I cried even harder. I hadn't said a word yet, but everything was falling apart inside.

He let me cry until I calmed down.

"Bro... what do you think? Does Akiro love me?" I asked, wiping my tears that refused to stop.

"What do you feel?" he asked.

"I love him. But I found out something earlier," I said, then told him everything.

"Did you ask him?"

"No... I'm afraid of what he'll say," I admitted, the anxiety creeping in.

"Nothing will change if you don't talk to him. Communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship, Tamaro," he said, gently patting my back.

"I don't want to ask him first. Maybe I'm just overthinking," I said, trying to smile while wiping my tears.

"As long as you're not restless either, talk to him." I'm thankful for Stephen. He's always there whenever I feel anxious or overwhelmed.

When we got back to the dorm, everyone was already asleep. I didn't go into the room—I stayed in the living room and fell asleep there.

The next morning, I woke up to the noise around me. That's how I ended up sleeping in the living room—just listening to what they were doing. I only slept for about two hours.

They were already getting ready. We had dance practice again today. Our studio's just in the next building—it's close enough to walk.

I didn't see him in the living room. One by one, the members left, and I was the only one still there. He was still in the room.

I got up to prepare. I went to the bathroom first and washed my face before heading to the room.

He was awake—sitting up, holding his phone again. I felt a sharp sting in my chest when the memory of last night came back.

"Baby, get up and get dressed. They're all in the studio," I said as I walked closer. He quickly set his phone down and got up. Without a word, he kissed my forehead.

"Good morning, Roo," he said with a smile.

"Good morning, baby," I replied, forcing a smile. There was something different in his eyes today—something like excitement.

He walked out, leaving his phone behind.

Pretending you're okay in front of the person you love is one of the hardest things.

When you love them this much, you hide every hurt, every doubt—just so you don't lose them.

I picked up his phone when it vibrated. It was the same number from last night. A new message lit up the lock screen.

I love you too, Akiro.

That one line shattered everything. All my doubts had found their answer. The truth was staring me in the face. Everything came rushing back—and this time, it hurt even more.

I didn't know how to confront him. I didn't know what to say. He walked into the room just as I was still holding his phone.

For once, I couldn't hide my tears.

"R-Roo," he said, startled—his eyes flicking between me and the screen.

I smiled through the tears. That kind of smile that doesn't hold any joy, just pain dressed in silence. Looking at him hurt even more than reading the message.

Should I listen to him? But the message... the message was enough.

-AKIRO-

I'm meeting new friends today—Mark and Agusto, both members of the Pirate P-pop group. They're the only ones available right now, but I'm grateful for the chance to connect. I told Tamaro about our plans, and he was supportive. I feel happy. Since training began, this is the first time I've made friends outside my own group.

At my age, I'm still learning about who I am. I love him—but I carry doubts, too. Fear. Worry.

When I arrived at the café, Mark and Agusto were already there. They don't know about me and Tamaro. No one does, really—not outside the members. We've kept it quiet. I've been careful. I just want to protect what we have. I don't want either of us to get hurt.

"My cousin's coming. I'll introduce her to you," Mark said as we continued eating.

"Is she beautiful?" Agusto teased. I just smiled, quiet in his mischief.

"Of course—our race is beautiful," he added, pride coloring his voice.

A few minutes later, a girl approached us. She looked just a little younger than the rest of us.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Ohh, Yana, you're here," Mark greeted warmly. So, this is his cousin, I thought.

They talked among themselves while I mostly listened. I've always been more introverted. Onstage, I perform without nerves, but behind the camera, I stay close to Tamaro. He's where I find my strength—he's the reason I've begun to step out of my shell.

I kept quiet while they chatted, though I noticed Yana glancing at me now and then. I didn't give it much thought; my mind was elsewhere—on Tamaro.

Eventually, Yana excused herself. She had somewhere else to be. We didn't stay long either, with dance practice still ahead. I headed back to the studio.

Everyone was already there when I arrived. Tamaro was sitting on the floor. I walked over to him.

"Baby, how was your meeting with your friends?" Tamaro asked, resting his head gently on my shoulder. I smiled.

"It was okay, Roo. We just ate and talked," I said. I didn't mention Mark's cousin—there was no need. That part didn't matter.

Practice has been hectic lately, with the concert coming up next month. Still, we're doing fine. He doesn't get upset anymore when I chat with friends. He trusts me more now, and I feel that.

During our break, Mark messaged me—said his cousin was asking for my number. I didn't want to say no. I'm afraid they'll think I'm arrogant if I refuse.

Yana and I began chatting more often. She's easy to talk to, and I admit—I feel good around her. But I didn't save her number. I rarely save numbers, unless someone's really important to me.

I guess I've always been relaxed about my phone. Tamaro never goes through it, so I just leave it wherever. There's trust between us. I'm close to Yana now, but I'm not dating her. It's not hard to love someone like her. But I can't leave him. Not Tamaro.

The truth is, I'm still figuring myself out. At this age, it's hard not knowing who you really are. I talk to Yana because maybe—just maybe—I'll understand myself better in the process.

I'm confused. And I'm scared.

Yana and I aren't together, but we've started calling and chatting. I told myself it was necessary—part of figuring things out. But in chasing clarity, I ended up hurting the person who means the most to me.

The moment I returned from the shower, everything shifted.

I opened the door, towel still in hand, and froze. Tamaro was sitting there, holding something—I didn't even notice what it was at first. I just saw his face. He was crying. And smiling.

That kind of smile breaks you. Like he was trying to be strong, trying to understand... but the pain had already settled in.

"R-Roo," I stammered. My chest tightened with nerves as I stepped closer, but he backed away. The space between us felt heavier than ever.

"Since when?" he asked, his voice trembling beneath the surface of restrained tears.

"Roo, I'll explain," I said, my own voice breaking. The tears came without warning.

"When?" he demanded. "When did you start fooling me, Akiro?" His voice rose, cracked by pain.

"I'm sorry, Roo. Please... let me explain," I begged. He came closer then—his hands reaching for my face, gently wiping my tears. That gesture shattered me.

"Why does it hurt me more every time I see your tears?" he whispered, crying now too.

I sobbed harder. The ache in his words pierced through the wall I'd built. I was being selfish—again. Not thinking how this would affect him. Just chasing answers, I wasn't ready for.

"Roo, please," I cried. "Let me explain."

He closed his eyes. Silent. Tears rolling freely.

"Okay," he said at last. "I'll listen."

I told him everything. He didn't interrupt. Just sat there with his head bowed, silently crying in front of me. It broke me. Shattered my heart into pieces.

"Roo, I'm really sorry," I whispered. "Please... don't leave me."

"You know how much I love you, Akiro," he said, his voice steady but thick with tears. "But I hope you won't take advantage of that. I try to understand you—everything about you. Isn't that enough?"

I couldn't speak. I felt it—guilt curling deep in my chest. I knew I'd hurt him.

"Find yourself first," he continued. "Because I'm always the one left hurting. I take all the pain, Akiro. And I keep asking myself what I did wrong. Why am I always the one who gets hurt?"

"R-Roo, please," I sobbed, his pain echoing in every word.

"I became complacent," he said, quieter now. "I didn't question what you did because I thought you were happy. I trusted you. But in the end, I'll be the one broken."

He stood slowly and turned to leave. I reached out and held his hand—desperate to keep him close.

"Tamaro, please. Don't leave me," I said, my voice breaking. He knelt in front of me, gently wiped my tears, and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. I cried even harder.

"Don't worry. I'll wait for you—until you're ready. That's how much I love you," he whispered.

Then, with a quiet steadiness, he added, "Fix yourself first. The others are waiting at the dance studio."

He smiled. Stood up. And left.

And I stayed—alone in that room, crying.

I feel so foolish. A coward. Only now do I realize I can't lose him. Not Tamaro. But I don't know where to begin for him to accept me again. I've hurt the person I love—again.