Her Secret Desires

Her Secret Desires

Nel's pov

It's been an hour now since I woke up. I was still hiccuping from crying last night. I was alone in bed when I woke up, and I didn't know how to feel about that. The bed felt big and empty, void of all body warmth gone from the sheets. I jumped at the sound of my alarm blaring. I’ve never been a morning person, and today wasn’t any different.

Taking a deep breath. I felt the fresh spring breeze caress my skin from the opened window. I missed my house with the smell of mom’s Marigolds outside my bedroom window. They were her pride and joy.

The color of the gold flowers always reminded me of her yellow hair. The view from the penthouse apartment was always breathtaking, I just didn’t want to see it today. I felt numb to it all, and all I wanted to do was lay down for the rest of the day.

I picked my head up and turned to look out the window. I laid back down, grumbling. The sun wasn't even up yet. But I had made it my mission to get up early and run. It was refreshing, and it allowed me to get pumped for the day and work on myself.

I didn't like my appearance all that much. I wasn't Cousin It or anything. On the contrary. Growing up, my friends and my brother had gotten into too many fights on my behalf. I just..didn’t want the hassle. My chest was way too big for my liking. It causes a lot of negative attention.

I just ended up clinging to oversized clothes. I would rather get teased for that at school. I looked like I was wearing my older brother's clothes, which didn’t help the rumor mill.

They started saying I was wearing men's clothes because I didn't have time to change between guys. I had gotten the nickname balloon Nel and Dairy queen. It was not very original if I had to say so myself.

My a** wasn’t any less decreet. My stomach was small, just not model flat, back then. It didn’t help that three of my best friends were dropped dead gorgeous man candies. But we were completely inseparable. Us five against the world.

I hadn’t realized I was smiling thinking about them. I finally felt a little more inclined to start my day. I went into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and combed my long

curly brown hair. Putting it into a ponytail. It took a while, It needed a trim. My hair landed a little past my waist.

It was the color of my dad's own bouncy and warm like a silk blanket. He was always a carefree man who always had full belly laughs. He was fiercely protective of us.

Especially with my mom, he was super possessive of her. It was sweet. When they weren't gross, they were not afraid of PDA. I wished they were. He was the life of the party.

My friends followed him everywhere. In my dad’s eyes, he had four sons, not one. Being bestfriends with their parents gave him all the freedom he needed. West’s father was always busy and would brush him off.

West understood. I didn't, I hated it when they were in pain, and he never showed it, always hiding under his playful nature. But I knew he longed for his father. I didn't mind sharing my dad. I tried to curse the guys out one time because of their ‘bromance’ with my dad.

(Flashback) five years ago

Sneaking away from the guys to surprise them was nearly impossible. I was so thankful for Aubrey, but I still faced resistance from the guys. Kil had his arms around my waist “And why can’t we go again?” He was leaning against his kitchen counter with me in his arms tightly,