Nightmares

Stranger

I woke up and stared at the ceiling of my office. I knew when I started the plagues she would come. She would have no choice. Even if her human mind didn't remember me, the unconscious part of her would draw her body to me and our fight would begin.

I started first this time, usually she comes to me before I start but this time I thought I could get a few souls before she showed up. I wanted to draw her to me, I was tired of waiting.

I just wanted it to be over, I was tired of fighting, tired of hurting my best friend over and over. I loved her and to be repeatedly punished for thousands of years was too much. I couldn't even imagine how my brother felt. I know I told her that I didn't love her like my brother and in reality I didn't, I loved her like a sister. It was hard in our dream walk to convince her I was really the bad guy, but I needed to be the bad guy. I needed to end this quickly before more feelings got involved.

He came today, my brother, to warn me that somewhere in this city, the girl was here and the hunt had started. I huffed in annoyance, I knew I would draw her to me, but this whole situation was bittersweet.

I just wanted us to go back to the beginning, where we were all friends, family. I don't even know how this all happened to begin with, I don't know why our father had made our life this way. I'm ready to give up. I'm tired of this endless circle, we've been punished for so long,. Whatever it was that happened, I think we all deserve to rest like any other soul.

She was there, in my head again, this night. This meant I would be the first to go. This game was stupid and I was fed up. I would pretend to fight her; I would give her my rage and show her my hate like I did at that last moment, but in reality, I just didn't care anymore. Having her in my arms brought me back to the life we all once had.

I loved her like a sister, she was the best of us. The one who could give you the most love, the one who could melt your heart with just a smile. When she whispered in my ear, I had to try hard to contain my laughter. She was always teasing me, trying to get me to beat her in races and other silly games. That was her motto to me, "Try it." I could almost say she was closest in this final form to her original self. Cocky girl, good thing I like games.

I would forgive her this time though, forgiving her for falling in love with my brother. I couldn't really fault her for falling in love anyway. I don't even know how it went this far. I felt sick with myself for the rage I've held for thousands of years. How could I do this to her? Or myself? I was better than this, I was above human feelings. She was better paired with Michael than any one of us. There was no reason they shouldn't have been able to have each other.

I smiled as a memory popped into my head. She and I were sitting at a pond in the human plain, no one in sight. Humans weren't mass-produced yet; we were eating lunch when she asked "Do you believe in love?" I looked at her confused, "humans love, so yes." She smiled shyly. "Yeah, but do you believe we can be in love? Have a soulmate?" I laughed at the absurdity. "were above that, you know that. We don't feel that way. Our feelings are one. We don't need that kind of feeling." She smiled "Yeah, but don't you feel... gipped? I mean I see how humans love; don't you want that?" I thought for a minute "I don't think so, love brings pain. I don't like the look of that." She laid back on the grass. "I don't know, I think it would be worth it. The goosebumps, the swelling of the heart, the rush." I sighed and laid down beside her so I was facing her. "sounds like you already are in love." She blushed "No." she quickly said. "you know, you can't feel that way. Our mates are chosen for the good of our race, that's how it always has been." I took a piece of her hair and twirled it in my finger. "Yeah I just wish that's not how it was, that's all." I paled and sat up."Don't let anyone hear you say that." She nodded slightly "I know. You're my brother, I just needed to vent, I guess. I've been feeling strange lately, maybe spending too much time with the humans." I agreed "Maybe you should take a break." she smiled, the sun shining down on her. She was always so beautiful. "Yeah maybe."

I should have known that day something was off. I think she knew then that she was in love with him. I wonder if he knew then or it wasn't until after.

I wonder if she still thinks it's worth it? This much pain, I don't think it was fair at all, but being human sorta for the last few thousand years, I would have to agree now we should have the choice of who to love. Maybe that's why I can forgive her this time. I hope my forgiveness sets us all free. If I can forgive maybe the others can too. I couldn't try to convince them though. It had to be their choice. But my choice was forgiveness and it would be from now on, no matter how many lives I would have to live. My soul felt at ease with my choice, I knew it was the right move.