The darker it gets

It is 7:00 am in Umhlanga, Durban (South Africa), I am greeted with hugs and kisses from my mother. Moms can be so embarrassing sometimes, it's time for breakfast, so I go downstairs. On this beautiful Sunday morning, my mom and I sat outside and shared jokes while watching the distant waters. I never knew my father; it was only my mom and me. When my mom's family found out she was pregnant, they disowned her immediately. They are Christians and couldn't take the shame they would receive from the church. I have no idea how my mom has survived all these years taking care of me all by herself; she's the only person I call my family. Oh! Uncle Tom also comes to check on us from time to time. He and my mom have been friends for a long time, and he's always been there for her even when she was struggling. I live a fortunate life, get everything I want and sleep in a comfy expensive mattress compared to those kids I see on the television with no food and shelter. My mom has made sure I eat and be sheltered, she is my Hero. Currently, I am in grade 11 at Reddam House Umhlanga college. I have been attending this school since grade R. This school is the best in Durban and I, Melissa Smith, am lucky enough to attend it. The phone rings just as I'm washing dishes after breakfast. Mom must go to Mozambique for work. One of the moments I dislike is when my mother doesn't stay long, especially when we are bonding. In spite of it, I have learned to accept it, and now that I'm 17, I am able to care for myself without a babysitter. As she hurries to her bedroom to start packing, I finish the dishes and rush to assist her. My eyes well up with tears as I help pack, realizing she might not be there for my 18th birthday in 2 days. “Don’t worry my baby, I’ll be back sooner than you know and I’ll have a special gift for you”. She kisses my forehead and heads downstairs. "Uncle Tom will be checking up on you, alright? (laughs) "I do not need a babysitter (rolls eyes) " she laughed as she went out saying I LOVE YOU. As the door shut, the house seemed big again. I went to my room to read Witch & Wizard by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet while listening to loud music. Unknowingly, I doze off, and a touch on my legs startles me. I woke up with my heart racing, now remembering that I didn’t lock the door after mom’s departure. When I turn, it is Uncle Tom “Oh My God uncle, you scared me to death why didn’t you knock”. I’m sorry just got carried away. Your mom told you I’ll be coming by often right? Do you need something?” that’s my Uncle, he always worry about me I sometimes wish he was my father. On that note I still haven’t figured out why he and my mom never dated, they would have done a perfect couple. “No, I’m okay Uncle, the only problem I have is my birthday party next week Saturday. Mom and I were supposed to plan and do the arrangements, now she’s gone I do not have anybody to pay all the bills, and worse, I already told everyone I’m having a party and can’t cancel “no worries I’m here I’ll be your blesser, and won't cancel your party”. I sometimes want to call him Uncle luck because whenever I am in trouble, he’s always there to save my ass. “Let’s go watch a movie and have dinner, dress up and meet me at the car outside” I quickly got up and went to my closet to find something then a hear a voice saying, “wear that pink dress!” Uncle Tom has a great taste for fashion you can trust him on that department. I rush downstairs wearing my short pink dress, black sandals and lock the door. By the time we got to the cinema, it was 19:00. I'd like to watch Venom: let's be c*****e, but the movie starts at 20:10, so Uncle Tom suggests that we go to the restaurant since he's hungry, so we went and found a table. We are at a fancy restaurant with a name I can't pronounce. A waiter comes to us and gives us the menus “Good evening, can I get you anything?” I will have a glass of water” soon as he walks away, I open the menu and I see the prices, and WOW! This is an expensive restaurant and thanks to God I’m not the one who is paying. After the waiter returns and gives me my water, he asks uncle if he's ready to order, to which he replies, "not yet", then he asks, "How about you ma’am?" Did she just call me ma’am? Maybe I look old. After observing my change of mood, Uncle Tom asks the waiter to excuse us and tells me to ignore pity things. Seeing a toddler sipping his dad's cold drink while he looks away, I am able to return to my original mood and smile. "Let's make this your one day,” uncle says when he sees me seeing that. I am in shock, but I refuse to look at him. "I don't think you'll have any other men like that, because I don't want any boys around you." Does that boy Tha…Thapelo still follows you around?” Nope! He is afraid of you. I don’t know what you did to that poor boy, only God knows”. He laughed and called the waiter so that we could place our order. I order Spinach & Ricotta stuffed Tortellini with confidence. Then said, “with any of your best tasting red wine” like one of those rich women on Tv. Mind that I don’t know any of these things I ordered. This is my first time seeing such names and I hope I’ll be able to eat it. We ate then chilled as we wait for 20:00. I laugh at what uncle is telling me about his childhood, and child girlfriends. Then wondered why he never dated my mom; all he says about mom is how good and tight their friendship is. I go to the cinema alone because uncle thinks “venom is for kids”. As soon as I come out, I see uncle smiling at me, and gosh I must say he has a beautiful smile. I go to him, and we go to the car. He listens to me as I am filled with the excitement that I got from watching Venom. I see how I was blubbering so I stopped and looked at him, he keeps quiet and smiles. This is a man I would like to have, not the kind of guy that comes after me. Earlier this week, a guy named Alex walked up to me and told me he's been in love with me for four years, which is funny because we've been in the same school for two years now, and he dated a girl I was friends with last year, which lasted three weeks, this is not the kind of guy I want to date. Then I sat there and thought about the kind of guy I would want to have for myself, and I noticed some traits that Uncle Tom had. A guy that I, Melissa, would like is someone good-looking, trustworthy, loving, a person who will pamper me every time he sees me. I find it hard to find that person, then I felt a hand on my shoulder and realized that we had arrived at home, so uncle walked me to the door, and we exchanged our goodbyes, and he left. Quickly, I enter the house and locked the door. I then went to my bedroom where I immediately threw my purse on top of the bed and headed to the shower. In the process of taking off my clothes, his face, his smile, his touch, and his voice all entered my head, it was like he was there. I don't know what is happening to me, but I feel like I'm suddenly in need of a man's touch. A beeping sound from my phone disrupted me, it's mom she is asking if I'm OK. I then reply that I'm fine. As I turned on the shower hot water ran from my head to my toes and I unconsciously moved my hand down my neck to my breast and squeezed not only did I do that, I moaned. To tell the truth this is my first s****l arousal and it’s enjoyable. My mom must never find out about this, it is a secret I take to the grave, I am even ashamed to think I am in love with someone I call uncle, THIS IS WRONG! But I better enjoy it silently. Usually, my baths take 15 minutes but today it took me about 30 minutes. “Oh God, will I be able to sleep? why am I falling for such an old guy, a person I call uncle?” Right now, I'm so ashamed of myself for finding uncle attractive, I am not someone who finds older guys attractive, but this time I do, and I don't understand why. I am a mess, I step out of the shower, wore my night gown, and went to bed with the hope that I will immediately fall asleep, but the moment I close my eyes I see Uncle Tom’s face. Finally, I manage to fall asleep, and I dream myself having twins with Uncle by my side, we were a happy family. It was 05:00 am in the morning when I got up, I went to the kitchen made some coffee and some biscuits, then sat outside just to clear my mind and get these disgusting thoughts out of my system. I think of Mom, she hasn't called since we got cut off by her boss who asked if she was here to work or play with the phones. I hope she is ok, she seemed to be stressed. I, therefore, dialed her number and called her, but no one answered. Okay, I am now worried she has never left her phone. I tell myself to calm down maybe she’s in a meeting or something, I must worry about my upcoming party. Many popular guys will be coming, and I don’t have a dress to impress, nor have I done my hair. I jump and quickly went to prepare to go to the mall to shop for something. It takes the uber 5 minutes to get here, and it drops me at the first entrance of Gateway mall. I go in and went to Mr. price and LOVISA for jewelry and accessories, ZARA, Cape Union Mart, Foschini, and Pravina’s hair salon. Then after I went to spur because I was famished, I ordered steak with onion rings and chips, with a chocolate milkshake. As I was seated, I saw one of my classmates with their family laughing and enjoying themselves, in this I remembered mom as she is my only family and tears went down my cheeks. I called the waiter asked for a doggy bag and packed up, for I didn’t want anybody to see me in my tears, and left. When I got home, I went to watch the TV, watched ridiculousness, now that's something I hardly do nowadays. The house telephone rings, and I quickly pick it up and said hello, in a strange voice spoke the woman on the phone and was asking of Sarah who of which it's my mother’s name. I ask who she is, and she says outright she's her mother, this angered me and I cut off the call. I don't know why all of a sudden, they want to reach out to my mother after all these years. I'm about to turn 18 and out of the blue, I have a grandma calling. Does she know that her daughter gave birth to a baby girl? Once again, the phone rings, it's her, I pick up and she says, "please, tell Sarah that her father has been diagnosed with cancer and we need her help now. We do not have anyone we can call, we are in dire need of her help. Do tell her to immediately call us back" rudely I responded, "my mom doesn't have any money to give you PEOPLE, so you better leave her alone and, please, I beg you to delete this number since there is no possibility that we will have any future conversation with you, goodbye" I was furious and ended the call and went back to the couch. The only question in my mind is Why now?