The Alpha's forgotten Luna

The drums were still echoing when he uttered it. "I, Kaelan Blackthorn, refuse to be your mate." Those words cut the ceremony like nothing else could. The room turned into a vacuum of sound — wolves numbering in the hundreds, watching, their breaths held, waiting for the noise to die down. However, the noise did not disappear. It was so deep, burningly rasping, that it seemed the only thing I could hear. For a moment there was only an illusion — the kind that lightened his face to golden against the inky darkness of his hair...it was unbelievable. He was like a god made from darkness and authority — every inch of him being the Alpha he was meant to be. My Alpha. My one and only mate who was destined to be. And now... my destroyer. "Kaelan," I murmured, not too loudly, simply just whispering. "Repeat your words, man." Kaelan snapped, his lips a thin line, eyes averted." I felt a rustle in the audience. Some wolves were obviously shocked. Others started to grin. Each one of those lurking eyes tortured my skin with its stare. "No," I declared, moving closer. "You can't. You felt it — the bond—" “Stop.” From his voice, it sounded like his words were actions, a kind of whip. “You are unfit to be near me, Lyra. I will not let a weak omega be my Luna.” All around and out of nowhere came a gasp. My body became cold, my wolf pressed against my ribs, whimpering. He doesn’t mean it… he can’t. Trying to reach him, my hand shook. “Kaelan, please—” He moved away disgustedly before I could even come in contact with him. That small motion was enough to shatter everything. “I unbind you,” he said coldly. “Go ahead, be relieved of me.” In my chest, the bond moved and turned with a pressure that ripped and snapped it. I was aware of— an invisible thread that was slicing through my soul, which created such an unbearable hollow ache that it made breathing difficult. Bent over fingers clutching my chest as if I could somehow keep the pieces from falling through. The pack murmured. Among the whispers, I heard one, “Rejection… by the Alpha himself.” Later, a voice even crueler, yet amused said, “What else could she have thought, a mutt for a Luna?” I had a case of double vision. The great hall, the torches, the faces—all these mingled in a fog of shame. The brand on my neck started to sting again and then went numb, feeling cold within my flesh. My wolf growled slightly again, the sound being so disjointed as if it was a death cry inside me. I managed to get myself up. My heart was breaking up, but I wouldn't let them see me break. "'I wish the strength that bound us together were that warm," I shook out, feeling the tremor of my own voice but raised high enough for them to hear. "Cause when it dawns on you what you’ve done, Kaelan Blackthorn... I won’t be there anymore to give forgiveness." He took a quick peek at me for the first time—there was a strong wave of sadness along with coldness in his eyes—and then he looked away. That was worse than the rejection. Worse than the gossip. Because it proved he had meant what he said. I wobbled out of the hall. I was the subject of ridicule, and that laughingstock was also the cause of my mercy and surprise, but rather little of their concern. On the contrary, in my mind there was just a breath, and if I didn't breathe, I couldn't start again. That cold dark night struck like a meteor. The beautiful moon illuminated from above with hard, frigid light. And off I went. The fresh, cold air that slammed down from the heights seemed to s***h through my insides. My feet were bared and my royal-looking dress’s hem was snagging along the slender branches because it was so heavy with beads. Yet, I wasn’t bothered. I ran until the hollowness of the packhouse’s noises behind me was not audible anymore, until the cedar and storm wind smell of Kaelan had faded. The wolf living within me wailed and tried tearing the joints of my psyche apart. Mate. Mate. Please come back. At the same time, she was fading, too and her being present was becoming weaker and weaker with every step that we took. The bond’s echo was tearing both of us apart. I crashed into the clearing, fell down on my knees and howled. It was a full moon and the scream went on—with the trees reflecting it back—brutal, ugly, wild. I never realised I would be able to make such a sound. It wasn’t just a signal of a physical hurt. It was the voice of loss. I tried to calm myself down by pressing my hands against the mud but, the earth being chilly, wet, and cold, didn’t resonate with my feelings. It just can’t be real. My wolf whimpered for the last time and finally shut up. When I raised my head, the moonlight looked blurred by the tears. “Why?” I whispered to nobody. “Why would you reject me?” I was so surprised and dumbstruck that nothing could escape my lips, except the whisper of the wind could be heard past the trees. Then we were so cold, it seemed to me that the very last bone of the bond between us had been cleanly broken, and at that very moment, blood was gushing from my nose quite leisurely. The rejection was totally confirmed by my way of walking away. I wouldn’t tell the time, as minutes turned into hours, and the forest was completely mute, just waiting. After some time, I was barely able to catch a whisper. "Lyra?" She was no one but my Adira. As lovely as she was, I could smell her, which was exactly what she was - the fresh scent of rosemary and rain. The very moment she saw me, she ran towards me. Her cloak was draping in mud and she was very loud, "You poor girl! The cut on your face!" I swiped at my face. “It’s nothing.” “It’s everything!” She knelt, grabbing my shoulders. “What happened in there?” “You saw,” I cut in, my voice rough. “He made sure everyone did.” Adira’s jaw tightened. “There’s more to this, Lyra. He was forced—” “Don’t.” My voice cracked. “Don’t make excuses for him.” She sighed, eyes glistening. “Then at least let me help you. You can’t stay—” “I'm going away.” The decision of mine was almost spontaneous. The words burned in my mouth like iron and finality. “Before the sun shows.” Her mouth dropped open. “Leave the pack? Lyra, the council—” “Let them believe that and be silent. I can stand the company of rogues easier than theirs.” She was on the point of saying something in reply, but I was already moving away. Every step was painful — but every step was also breaking the silence. Over my shoulder, Adira said quietly, “So, be very, very afraid, Lyra. Do not turn back, ever.” Luna coming to me directly was even more terrifying. Luna stopping me from running. Was it me running because I had done something bad? I fell sinking down on my bed and hugged the coat. It was still hot because of her touch. The metal routinely shivered like the human heart. A sign. A parting. My thorax was in pain, but I would not cry again. I did not have the least emotion. When I slept at last, I was still wide awake. All that came was a flashback. The voice of Kaelan. His eyes. The glance that wanted to hold back but couldn’t. Letting the pain of the bond pass, the echoes reaching to the farthest branches of my body. The sun was up when I had already packed my small bag — wrap, bread, Luna’s bag — and walked away into the mist-filled forest. The air was icy, and it smelled of pine and grief. I did not turn around. For if I had, I would be aware that I lacked the courage to leave. Upon crossing the border, the bond reacted one last time, and in the morning mist, I quietly said, “You’ll be sorry, Kaelan Blackthorn. One day, you’ll see what you have lost.” The wind carried away my words. In the depths of my being, my heart beates weakly. y, but it's still there. So, we took the leap — into the woods, into nowhere, into a tomorrow that still hadn't gotten my trust.