My childhood best friend is a bad boy

Chapter six - Not again

Ellie's POV:

Can someone tell me how can I be so stupid? I almost told Scott everything. Now he won't stop asking me why I said it. I hope that he will forget about it. I gladly would tell him, but that won't change anything. He'll continue to be who he is and won't be the best friend which I used to have. I'm trying to hold myself as much as possible, but I can't. When I look at him I see how much he has changed and it hurts me. A couple of years ago he was normal. Trouble was something that he'll never get in. Now it looks like this is his life. To show everyone how bad he can be so all the girls could fall for him. 

Today I don't have school so I decided to walk around the town. I didn't make friends yet, which means that I'll be alone. But to be honest this is better. Right now I don't need company. I arrived at one park. Most of the people were families with little kids. Soon one little girl came to me. 

- Will you play with me? I want to play hide and seek. You will count and I will hide. 

One thing for sure is that I can't say no. I may have problems with telling no to people. But this story is for another day. 

I counted to thirty and then searched the little girl. I found her behind one tree. 

- I got you. Now it's your turn. Or do you want to hide again? 

- Emma come here. I'm sorry about my daughter. Sometimes she doesn't have limits. - her mom said

- No, it's ok. I love little kids. They are cute. Just like this girl right here. - I tapped Emma's nose, which made her giggle

After half an hour I decide to go for food. I don't know how long I'll be outside, but some fresh air will be good. I went to one diner and order some pancakes. This seems like a good start to the day. I don't like coffee so I ordered some juice. 

Later I walk around to couple more places. I wanted to find more quiet one. There were a lot of kids outside. Since the weather is nice, why shouldn't they go out? Soon I went to one basketball playground. I saw some boys there, including Scott. I guess he will follow me everywhere. Ok mostly everywhere. He was playing with some boys. I know one of them. Basically, I have seen him at school, but I don't know his name or whatever it is about him. We have never talked. 

When Scott came closer to the seats, I hid behind one tree. I don't want him to see me. I heard what he was talking about with the boys. 

- How are things with your girl? Get better or worse? - one of the boys asked

- I don't know. I really want to try with her, but she made it impossible. I am hurting her before I could actually do something. She is not mad at me but definitely doesn't like me. 

- Dude, give her some time. Soon she'll be yours. Like every girl in our school. 

- I'm not sure about that. The fact that she is crying every time when I am around is getting me. Usually, I don't care about that, but this time is different. 

- She was Ellie, right? Why don't you try one more time to talk with her? And if she keeps acting the same just give up and go after someone else. 

That hurts. He treats girls like crap and doesn't even care about their feelings. Maybe it's better if we don't talk to each other. At least I won't be hurt. Something which I expect from him. But the fact that he is happy makes me think that maybe this is what he needs. Who he has to be. I am no one, so I can't tell him what to do. Not like he will listen to me anyway. 

- Haven't peopled told you that it's not polite to listen to someone else's conversation? - one boy said which made me flinch

- I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. 

- The boys would be happy to see that they have a fan here. 

- No, you can't tell them. Just shut up. - I said and put my hand over his mouth

- It's too late princess. I would love to hear what are you doing here. Will you tell us?

- Guys with who are you... Ellie? What the heck are you doing here? - Scott said

- The town isn't yours. Plus we don't have school today so I decided to walk around. Is there a problem with that? 

- No, I just didn't expect you to be here. So you couldn't resist not seeing me, huh? 

Does he have to be so annoying? But again this is not the person who I used to know. It'll be better if I walk away and go home. 

- You are not worth it anymore. Now, if you excuse me, I'll go home. 

- Ouch, that hurts. She is not an easy one. Good luck with that mate. - one of the boys said

I was about to leave, but guess what? Scott did the only thing, which he does every time. He grabbed my hand and turn me around so I can face him. 

- Not that easy princess. We need to talk. Again. And this time you won't run away. 

- Why don't you want to leave me? You won't get anything from me. And even if you do, it still won't be as good as all the chicks which you have. I don't see a point in trying. 

- Leave this to me. Guys can you leave us for a while. This conversation is private. 

The boys didn't say anything and sit back in their seats. I refused to look at him. If I do it the chances to start crying again are very high and I promised myself that I won't waste my tears for him. 

- For what do you want to talk with me? Be quick, because I don't have a whole day. 

Scott didn't reply but pinned me to the tree. Not again. I guess I have to get used to it. How I see this is his way to communicate with girls.

- Why did you say that yesterday? What does it mean?

The only thing that I was afraid that he'll ask me. There is no escaping now. But I can't tell him the truth. I don't feel ready for that. I slightly turned around to see the boys watching us. Great. This is the last thing that I needed. 

- I... don't remember what I said. I'm sorry. 

- Don't play these games on me. They won't work. Look I don't want anything from you now. I just want to know why you said it. Will you tell me? And please don't cry again. 

- I can't tell you, because I don't trust you. I'm sorry Scott, but things are not that easy. Can you let me go now? Please. 

- You need to tell me, Ellie. I couldn't sleep last night, because of that. I need to know and you have to tell me. I won't tell anyone else. Just tell me. 

I looked him in the eyes. My biggest mistake. Hold on Ellie. You can do this. Don't let your feelings take control. Not right now. But I get weak again. I wanted to hug him so bad, but I couldn't do it. I won't lie that I miss my best friend, but I have to accept that he is gone. 

The boys came here. Maybe they'll distract him and he'll let me go. 

- Man, we'll go. Call us when you are free. 

Scott didn't reply. His eyes were still on me. Probably this is the worst day since I came here. 

- Ellie, will you answer me? I won't get mad. 

- No, I'm sorry, but I can't.

- Why? Why don't you want to tell me what did you mean yesterday? 

- Because it won't change anything. You still will be the same boy which you are now. 

- What do you mean? The boy he is now? Girl, did you hit your head somewhere? He always was like that.

Didn't the boys say that they will go? I guess they lied. 

- Ellie what are you talking about? 

Hold on, hold on. He doesn't need to know the truth, no matter that it hurts. 

- Just forget it. I really have to go now. 

But Scott didn't let me. He held me even tighter. Why he has to be like that?

- I will let you go after you tell me everything. I have nothing else to do so we can stay all day. Now tell me why you are saying all of that and what the heck does it mean?

I couldn't hold it anymore. I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes. He wants the truth, he'll get it. 

- BECAUSE YOU WERE DIFFERENT, NICE AND CARING. NOW YOU ARE ACTING LIKE AN A**WHOLE. YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. I CAN'T STAND YOU ANYMORE. LEAVE ME ALONE. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, GO AND SEARCH FOR SOMEONE ELSE. I HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT. 

I pushed him and walked away. More and more tears were coming, but I didn't stop them. I guess this is what I deserve. For trusting the wrong people. I have to admit that my best friend will never come back. He is gone. But I need to control myself more. If I keep talking to him like that, I may tell him the truth and this is not good. 

When I walked into my room, I laid on my bed and continue crying. I promised myself that I won't cry for him, but I can't stop it. It's stronger than me. Soon I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Maybe little sleep will be good. I have to stop thinking about him. Scott Lincoln is not worth it.