Love and Wolf

Chapter 10

Maybe in another day, age, and time Sirahi wouldn't have minded partaking in a marriage ritual. Hell, she would have been excited but because she was being held against her will, and her mate not giving her what she wanted, she wanted the ceremony to be over.

There were celebrations and though others were happy and partying merrily, she couldn't bring any happiness to overcome her. She was annoyed and sat to the side of others as Jamis was out and about in his own ceremony attire talking to everyone but her.

When it came time for them to speak to the elder and proclaim their bonds in front of the council and be recognized as one, she was waiting at the door.

Even though everything else was like a village of not huts and teepees, but handmade cabins and homes almost, the elder's hut was just that. A hut and it reminded her of Indigenous peoples huts. It was massive and in the middle a fire to keep the cold out. When they entered, three elders sat at the far end and Sirahi and Jamis took the walk to get to them. Both of their outfits were heavy because of the cold and she found warmth within the skins and furs.

Jamis had taken her hand and led her to where the elder was sitting and they kneeled in front of the women who were adorned in jewelry and beads. She was quiet as they were instructed to place their palms upside and she tried to numb herself when the elder slit Jamis' palm first, the velvet blood pooling and the knife came to her.

The slice of pain hit her as they did the same and they then were instructed to place their bloody palms together over a bowl that was filling with their dripping blood. As the elder started chanting and the candles burning, the older woman stopped and looked at them both. "The ritual will not be complete for you tonight." She said and Jamis made a face as the other two murmured. "Why not?" He asked and she felt his palm squeezing hers tightly.

"You have not truly mated."

"Yes we have, I can shift into my wolf. We have mated." He said and the elder shook her head at him. "Child, you have not truly become one. Until your mate has accepted one another, you will not be recognized." She stated as Sirahi wondered what that really meant.

Jamis was glued to his spot and he didn't say anything as they were dismissed. "So..." Sirahi said as she wiped her already healing wound. "We're not recognized." He said between clenched teeth and she still wondered what it meant. "Okay and?" She asked and he turned to her as she craned her head to look at him without her headdress coming off. "If you truly haven't accepted me, we could both lose our powers." He said and Sirahi was aware of that. When Source Members met their mates, they had a limited time to accept one another and truly open up their powers to each other to fully benefit from mating. If they didn't mate or accept one another, they could lose their powers and that was the Source's way as a check and balance and so that mates weren't forced to mate just so one partner could take advantage of another one.

Most cases of mating were like arranged marriages and they eventually fell in love with one another after mating. In the case for them, Sirahi didn't know Jamis and even if he accepted her, the elder was right and she hadn't accepted him.

"Don't look so confused. You brought me here against my will, did you think I'd bow down to being your captive?" Sirahi asked as his blue eyes glowed and she wondered if it was for anger or because of the semi full moon. "Take me home." She said and he stared at her with a ferocity. "I'm serious. If you don't take me, I'll disappear and you'll never get to fully mate." She threatened him and she saw the furrow in his brows as he said, "You'd lose your powers too."

"I'd lose everything If I stayed here with you. I don't want this life where I'm your brood mother or whatever it is your mates do." She told him and he looked devastated and confused. "That world is not yours. You're not human." He said with a harsh tone and she felt herself coming to her own defense. "I might not be but that is my world. I don't want to be in your world if this is all you offer me." Sirahi told him and she saw the anger and hurt in his eyes as emotions flickered through them. They didn't say any more as she spun on her heels towards his home thinking he was right behind her.

When she got through the door and it was just her, she whirled around and found herself alone. Cursing up a storm and filled with pure anger, she painstakingly took off her head dress and was about to throw it when she remembered that no matter how angry she was, she wouldn't disrespect the head dress that was a part of his family and placed it gently on the table.

When she thought of different ways that she wanted to stab and murder Jamis, she drew up a bath and tried to relax in it to calm herself down. She would find a way to leave and she needed to do it now. Calming her nerves, she started to hum a melody that her mother used to sing and it felt like her mother was there to embrace her and tell her everything was okay. Just the thought made her calm down and Sirahi almost wanted to cry. This was why she avoided finding a mate this early and why she craved her own identity. She needed to be free to sing of her own volition and she'd be damned if she let her Wolf mate stop her or put a thorn to her plans.