Self care 🎀
Self-care is often romanticized on social media as bubble baths, scented candles, face masks, and cozy Netflix nights, often showing aesthetically pleasing setups with soft lighting and carefully arranged skincare products. While these things can be relaxing and enjoyable, the real meaning of self-care goes much deeper than just pampering yourself. In reality, self-care isn’t always glamorous. it’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, mental, and sometimes even spiritual well-being, even when it’s hard or boring. It’s waking up on time, eating balanced meals, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep, saying no when you’re overwhelmed, setting boundaries with people who drain your energy, and going to therapy or journaling your thoughts when you’re struggling. Self-care can also mean doing the laundry even when you’re tired, finishing assignments before the deadline, or logging off social media to take a mental break. It’s not always fun, but it’s necessary. The romantic version often focuses only on the soothing side of care, ignoring that real self-care sometimes looks like making tough decisionsand doing uncomfortable things for your long-term peace. For example, choosing to walk away from a toxic friendship, taking accountability for your mistakes, or forcing yourself to take a break when you want to keep pushing through stress. True self-care is more than temporary relief it’s a way of life that helps you become emotionally balanced and mentally stronger. It includes learning how to manage your time, practicing positive self-talk, and avoiding comparison with others. You don’t have to spend money or be perfect at it. Sometimes, self-care is as simple as brushing your teeth, taking a shower after a long day, or turning your phone off at night. Everyone’s version looks different, and that’s okay. What matters is doing what helps you recharge and feel more like yourself. It can also include creativeoutlets like drawing, listening to music, or writing poems. But remember, it’s not always about avoiding hard feelings—it’s about facing them gently and learning how to deal with them. The problem with how self-care is shown online is that it sometimes makes people think they’re doing it wrong if they’re not doing something picture-worthy. But real self-care doesn’t need to be posted or seen by others. It’s personal. You don’t need to buy expensive products or have the “perfect” routine. Even resting when you feel guilty about it is a form of self-care. So while it’s okay to enjoy candles and warm baths, we should also learn to appreciate the less shiny parts like asking for help, crying when we need to, or organizing our room because we want a clear space. These things don’t get many likes online, but they matter just as much. If you want to start practicing self-care, try making a small daily routine. Ask yourself: “What do I need today?” Then try to give it to yourself. Maybe it’s a five-minute break, a healthy snack, or deleting an app that’s stressing you out. Start small. Be kind to yourself. Self-care doesn’t fix everything, but it makes life a little softer and helps you stay balanced even when things get messy.Another important part of self-care is understanding that it’s not selfish. Many people feel guilty for putting themselves first, especially when they’re used to taking care of others. But the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take care of yourself so you can be present and strong for others too. It’s not about ignoring your responsibilities or being lazy it’s about making sure your mind and body are not constantly running on low energy. Sometimes this means turning down an invitation, taking a nap instead of overworking, or even treating yourself kindly when you make a mistake. Self-care is also about emotional honesty being real with yourself about how you feel and allowing those emotions to exist without shame. You don’t always need to be strong or happy. Feeling tired, sad, angry, or confused is okay. Real self-care helps you deal with those feelings in a healthy way instead of hiding them behind fake smiles or distractions.In addition, self-care can include learning and unlearning things. For example, learning how to say no without explaining yourself, or unlearning the habit of people-pleasing. It means understanding that growth is not always pretty—it can be painful, confusing, or slow—but still worth it. It also includes forgiving yourself for past mistakes and understanding that healing is not linear. Some days you will feel great and other days not so much. That’s normal. What matters is that you keep choosing yourself, little by little.Self-care doesn’t always need to be done alone either. Sometimes, it’s reaching out to a friend when you’re feeling low, or having someone sit with you when you don’t want to talk. It can be about surrounding yourself with people who support your well-being instead of harming it. Asking for help is also self-care, even though it can be hard. Whether it’s talking to a counselor, therapist ,opening up to a friend, or just admitting you're not okay these are all strong, brave forms of self-care.Real self-care is not a trend or an aesthetic. It’s a quiet, personal commitment to being gentle with yourself. It’s about building habits that support your future self, even if they feel boring today. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. Honestly taking about the idea of self-care is everywhere—on i********:, in YouTube vlogs, on Pinterest boards, and even in advertisements. It’s often shown through soft pastel colors, calm morning routines, fancy skincare products, aesthetic planners, yoga poses, and peaceful vacations. While these things can be beautiful and even helpful, they only show one side of the picture. They sell a version of self-care that’s neat and attractive, when in reality, true self-care is often messy, quiet, and not at all camera-worthy. It isn’t always about making your life look perfect—it’s about making your life feel more manageable, safe, and balanced, even in small ways.The problem with romanticized self-care is that it can make people feel like they’re not doing enough. If someone doesn’t have time, money, or energy to follow those perfect-looking routines, they might think they’re failing. But real self-care doesn’t need to be expensive, organized, or trendy. It’s about what you need—not what the internet tells you to need. For one person, self-care might be taking a walk in nature. For someone else, it could be deleting toxic people from their phone. For some, it’s choosing to rest, while for others, it’s pushing themselves to do the things they’ve been avoiding. It depends on where you are in life and what your body and mind are asking from you.Let’s take an example. You might see a post online showing a “perfect morning routine” with green smoothies, journaling, meditation, and working out by 7 a.m. That’s great for someone who enjoys that and can keep up with it. But if you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, burnout, or even just a bad day, self-care might simply look like getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, and having a glass of water. That’s enough. You don’t need to meet a standard set by someone else. You just need to meet your own needs in a gentle, honest way.Another thing we forget is that real self-care often involves things that don’t feel good in the moment but are necessary. Like going to the doctor when you’ve been avoiding it, turning off your phone to protect your mental space, or having a difficult conversation that brings long-term peace. It might also mean breaking old habits, leaving a toxic relationship, or finally dealing with emotions you’ve been avoiding. These things are hard, uncomfortable, and sometimes painful but they are deeply healing and powerful forms of self-care. You don’t need to light a candle every time. Sometimes, just surviving the day is an act of care.It’s also important to mention the role of consistency. A one time spa day might help you relax, but it won’t solve deeper issues if you constantly ignore your needs the rest of the week. Self-care works best when it’s built into your lifestyle not just used as an emergency fix. That means checking in with yourself regularly. Am I tired? Am I hungry? Am I mentally overwhelmed? Am I treating myself kindly in my thoughts? These small check-ins can help you understand what needs attention before things get worse.Let’s talk about emotional self-care. This part is often ignored in favor of physical self-care, but it’s just as important. Emotional self-care means allowing yourself to feel your feelings instead of bottling them up. It means validating your emotions rather than judging them. You don’t always have to be positive or strong. It’s okay to cry, to feel sad, to take breaks, or even to ask someone to just listen. Journaling, therapy, mindfulness, and open communication with trusted people are all ways to take care of your emotional well-being. When you process your emotions regularly, you prevent them from piling up and exploding later.Mental self-care is another layer. It includes things like managing your thoughts, avoiding overthinking, reducing negative self-talk, and giving your brain a break from constant stress or stimulation. Taking time to read, learn new skills, or simply rest your mind by doing something calming—like painting, watching a movie, or walking—is helpful. It’s also about protecting your peace by staying away from arguments, social media drama, or people who constantly criticize you. Setting boundaries, both online and offline, is mental self-care. Saying, “I need time for myself” or “I don’t have the energy for this right now” is not rude. It’s responsible.Spiritual self-care, which not everyone may relate to in the same way, is about connecting with something bigger than yourself. For some, it’s prayer or religion. For others, it’s meditation, journaling, or simply spending time in nature. It helps you find purpose, calm, and clarity. Taking time to reflect on your life, values, and goals is a beautiful way of caring for your inner self. Again, it doesn’t have to be grand. Even sitting quietly with your thoughts can be a form of spiritual care.Now, let’s be honest: building a self-care habit isn’t easy, especially if you’re used to ignoring your own needs. You might feel guilty or unsure at first. That’s normal. Society often praises people who overwork, always say yes, or put others first all the time. But burning yourself out for the sake of approval or productivity is not sustainable. Self-care teaches you that rest is not a reward—it’s a right. You don’t need to “earn” it.So how can you start? Begin small. You don’t need a long checklist. Just ask yourself each day:
– What do I feel right now?
– What do I need right now?
– What is one kind thing I can do for myself today?
Then act on it. Maybe you need to go for a walk, unfollow someone online, clean your desk, or just lay down for 15 minutes with your eyes closed. Over time, these small acts become habits. And those habits shape a healthier, more balanced life.
Also, don’t compare your self-care journey with others. Someone else might be able to do yoga for an hour every morning, while your biggest win is getting dressed and taking a shower—and that’s just as valid. Everyone has a different starting point, different struggles, and different needs. Respect your own pace.Self-care isn’t about escaping real life. It’s about making real life more livable. It doesn’t promise happiness all the time, but it does help you feel more grounded, more in control, and more compassionate toward yourself. The goal isn’t to be perfect—it’s to be present, honest, and kind to yourself through the highs and lows.In the end, true self-care is quiet. It happens behind closed doors, without filters, without applause. It’s brushing your hair on days you feel like hiding, setting boundaries with love, feeding yourself with respect, and learning to be your own safe space. It’s not always pretty. It’s not always fun. But it’s always, always worth it
