Love n' Dear

Chapter 11: Do your best!

It's been three days of Mom being discharged from the hospital. My life continue as it is, I busy myself to seriously do my part-time job, since today is the day for my college entrance exam. Of course, I can't enter if I don't have money to pay for my tuition. I'm just glad that Mom is still backing me up behind Tito's back.

On the other hand, Mom is not that overworking herself to do some chores but keeps pestering me about my boyfriend kuno and pushing me to Zero and speaking of that man, the last time I saw him was when I confront him in the coffee shop. I guess, he came back to the country were he belongs to.

"Goodbye!" Kumaway-kaway pa ako bago inalis ang t-shirt na ipinatong ko lamang sa suot kong dress. May uniform kasi sila rito so I had to wear that one and I've already applied for a half day, yesterday, because I had to take my entrance exam and I'm glad Ma'am is very understanding. Before I left, they gave me some luck.

Busy akong nagtitipa sa cellphone ko kasi kailangan kong mag-book ng sasakyan ko papunta sa school. Medyo malayo pa naman iyon dito, buti sana kung may driver pa rin ako at less hassle. I'm just glad na less than 20 minutes dadating iyong sasakyan ko kasi ayoko talagang maghintay. But I think, I can grab a meal before I can answer the exam.

Dumiretso ako sa isang resto at um-order nang makakain. Balak ko sanang magtipid pero naamoy ko kasi itong seafood nila kaya ang ending, iiyak ako nito mamaya kasi ang takaw ko na naman. Pwede namang sa fast food nalang ako kumain pero todo seafood pa iyong craving ko.

Hindi naman nagtagal iyong in-order ko at kumain ako ng mapayapa. After savoring my precious food, I went to the comfort room and brush my teeth, even used a mouth wash because I don't want them to smell some bad odor from me. I want to make my first impression, a good one. After cleaning myself and settle with what I look, I get out and left. Saktong-sakto ang pagdating ng ni-book kong sasakyan.

Naging madali lang ang biyahe at natuwa ako sa driver dahil hindi siya madaldal. I hate talking, I prefer silence than anything in this world. I mean, I understand some driver who wants to entertain their passengers but I'm already tired talking to our costumers, I just wanted to rest.

Hindi na ako nagulat nang maraming estudyante ang nakaambang papasok sa gate. I expected na sobrang dami talaga since we're talking about entrance exam. Madaming gustong makapasa at makapasok sa paaralang ito. Nonetheless, I choose this school bukod sa malapit sa bahay, quality din iyong turo. This school is in top 5 of the best school here in Greece. Ang mahal lang talaga ng tuition.

Ipinakita ko iyong entrance slip ko bago ako pinapasok ng guard. I had to look for my room. Ang bobo ko lang sa part na hindi ko ito nalibot noong nagpunta ako. Mukha tuloy akong mangyan.

But I can ask! What's the use of my mouth kung hindi ko gagamitin, right? May ilan akong nakakasalubong pero inuunahan ako ng kahihiyan at kaba. Bakit ba kasi ang hirap makipag-usap sa tao? Sobrang bilib talaga ako kay Elle, kung paano siya nakaka-adjust agad sa sitwasyon at madaling makipagkaibigan kasi I always find it hard. Sino ba namang gustong makipagkaibigan sa taong ayaw sa kapwa tao? Whatever! Ma-le-late ako kung hindi ako magtatanong.

Tumigil ako at talagang nagbilang ng ilang anghel para lang mabigyan ako ng lakas ng loob. Parang mas kabado pa ako magtanong sa ibang tao kumpara sa katotohanang may exam na nag-aantay sa akin.

Saktong may lumagpas sa aking lalaki. This is it! "Excuse me," I said pero parang hindi niya narinig kasi nakatalikod pa rin siya sa akin. Sino ba naman kasing tangang magtatanong without thinking na may cellphone siya sa tainga? Syempre may kausap iyong tao dagdag pang ang hina ng boses ko. Ang tanga ko talaga!

Tumakbo na lang kaya ako? Pero no! Isang kahihiyan na lang rin, ituloy na natin para siya lang iyong maka-witness.

Wala talaga akong balak hawakan siya pero I have no choice kundi kulbitin siya para ma-catch ko ang attention niya.

"Excuse me, can I ask where is the Building for Culinary?" tanong ko pero nakatungo at nakatingin sa entrance slip kong hawak. I know, it's rude pero nahihiya talaga ako. Kung hindi ko lang kailangan magtanong, hindi ko talaga gagawin.

"Opposite of this building, you can see the garden, there would be three building, the one with an embeded letters of Culinary, that's it."

Sinundan ko lang iyong kamay niya, medyo malayo pero kaya namang lakarin. Narinig kong bumalik ang atensiyon niya sa kausap. Ayoko namang marinig pa iyong pinag-uusapan nila kaya tumunghay ako bago ngumisi ng pinakamatamis na kaya kong gawin.

"Thank--" natigilan ako sa balak na sabihin. Ang dami namang pwedeng pagtanungan bakit sa weirdo pang ito? At bakit ko ba nakalimutan na pumapasok siya rito when in fact, pinakita niya ang id niya sa akin noon?

Hindi siya nagsalita pero halatang nagulat siya na makitang nandito ako. He quickly dropped the call at inilagay sa bulsa niya iyong cellphone. Pwede bang umalis na lang?

"Entrance exam?" he asked.

I nodded. "Thanks for the information." I was about to bid my goodbye when he said something.

"I'll go with you."

"You don't need to, I'm a good follower---" Hindi niya ako pinansin at naunang naglakad. Marunong naman akong sumunod sa direksiyon. Isa pa hindi naman ako bata, kung maligaw man, may bibig ako, I can ask.

Umiiling akong sumunod sa kaniya. Bukod sa matangkad, ang laki rin ng kaniyang hakbang. Dalawang hakbang ko ay katumbas ng isang hakbang niya. Simpleng maong na pantalon at malaking puting t-shirt lang iyong suot niya pero amoy na amoy kong mamahalin siya at mamahalin ko. Just kidding! Di ko naman pangarap maging boyfriend siya. Hulma palang ng mukha niya, alam kong babaero na siya.

One thing I hate about men, they are bunch of unsatisfied being. Why is it normal for men to cheat and find someone to satisfy their needs but double standard when it comes to women? I'm not saying, it's okay to cheat because it is not and will never be. I just hate the fact that in today's world, it still acceptable and justifiable why men cheat. Screw cheater! Rot them in hell!

"Aray!" ungol ko. Hindi ko naman napansing napasarap pala iyong pagsasabi ko ng masasamang hinaing tungkol sa cheater na hindi ko namalayang tumigil siya maglakad.

"Walk beside me," he commanded na para bang kapag di ko sinusunod, tigok ako sa kaniya. Hindi na ako nakipagtalo at sinunod na lamang siya. Ayokong mauntog ulit sa likod niya. Halatang alagang gym pa naman iyong katawan niya.

Nakatungo ako habang naglalakad at napansin kong ang laki ng sapatos na suot niya. Well, what am I expecting? Na pang-baby iyong size ng paa niya to think na ang tangkad-tangkad niya? But I wonder what it feels to walk with that kind of shoes, a sport one.

Living in this country, I had to live and satisfy their expecatations because I'm carrying the name and reputation of being a politician's daughter. Only few people know it but that’s few people are expecting too much for me. From physical apperance to my academic capacity and skills that I'm not inborn with but I had to practice and to master because I need to survive. My mom and I need to surivive in this cruelty of world.

I bitterly smile looking at our different kind of shoes, heels and sport shoes. They are both footwear, but one needs a proper training. Someone had to get blisters over her feet before she can manage to wear it while the other one is very comfortable, he may get blisters too, for wearing a size that's different from him. Nonetheless, they are both hard to wear.

Naramdaman ko naman ang paghawak ni Luis sa taas ng ulo ko bago siya mismo ang humarap sa akin.

"Nervous?"

I shook my head. Why would I feel nervous just because of an exam? I'm more nervous asking a stranger than this one.

"I believe you can do it,” seryoso niya iyong sinasabi sa harapan ko habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko. Walang halong biro or what sa mukha niya pero ramdam ko ang sincerity sa boses niya. It suddenly feels warm. It feels someone hugs me when in reality there is no one. Does it make sense?

"I know," I replied and look over his shoulder kasi nandito na pala kami. Nasa harapan na kami ng building kung saan akong mag-e-exam.

Bumalik ang tingin ko sa slip na hawak ko. Hindi naman ako bobo pero 3A means third floor, right? Should I ask him? Well, I think so. Para isang kahihiyan na lang. Atleast, siya lang iyong nakakita kung paano ako manlamig kapag nagtatanong.

"What do you mean about 3A? Third floor?" Hindi siya sumagot at hinablot lang iyong papel sa kamay ko. Tumango lang siya tapos nauna na namang maglakad bitbit iyong slip ko.

"I can manage here, thanks for accompanying me." Para akong buntot niyang nakasunod sa likod niya. Saan ba kami pupunta? Ang gusto ko lang naman ibalik niya sa akin iyong papel na inagaw niya para makapunta na ako sa third floor at matapos na 'to.

May ilang kababaihang rinig kong pinupuri si Luis nang dumaan kaming dalawa. So he's popular? A basketball player? I think, I should stay away from him. I hate gossips, lalo na kung si Elle ang gagawa noon.

Hinila ko iyong suot niyang itim na sleeveless para tumigil siya sa paglalakad.

"I can go alone, thanks again." Inilahad ko iyong palad ko and he did give back the paper. Akala ko magtatapos na roon pero hinawakan na naman niya ang ulo ko tapos hinila ako. Habang naglalakad, napupunta iyong kamay niya sa leeg ko kasi ang laki ng hakbang niya that I can't even breath.

"Wait! You're choking me," angil ko. Tumigil kami sa paglalakad at hinayaan niya akong ayusin ang nagulo kong buhok at huminga. Mukha ba akong aso at kailangan niyang hilahin?

Tumingala ako para makita ang mukha niya. Medyo namumula iyong tenga niya tapos nakaiwas ng tingin sa akin. What is that?

"Here's an elevator, bye!" I waved my hands and walk away from him. May ilan akong kasamang pumasok sa elevator. I feel my handbag vibrated. I had to look for it and notice Kerr sent me his screen record of our facetime that I, his sister promised him to go tonight and have fun with him.

I look around the elevator kasi mukhang walang may balak pumindot ng floor. They all look nervous samantalang heto ako, nakangiti dahil makikita ko na naman si Kerr.

I was about to push the number three button when someone quickly enter. Halos manlaki iyong mata kong makitang si Luis iyon. Akala ko umalis na siya?

"Is he the number 1? Luis Savvidis right?" I heard some girls giggling with him. So basketball player talaga siya? Kaya pala bolero. Well, bakit hindi ko ba iyon naisip agad? Matangkad siya plus I saw him and his cousin, Renz na naka-uniform ng basketball so basically ang bobo ko.

Pinindot ko na iyong button kung saan ako papunta. "Excuse me, can you take us picture?" someone asked me. Okay lang naman sa aking kuhanan sila. Nothing big deal about it pero agad na hinablot ni Luis iyong cellphone na nakalahad sa harapan ko.

"Let's just take a selfie," he said. Okay? Weird talaga siya. Akala niya ba tatarayan ko itong babae?

Hinayaan ko silang kiligin sa pa-sweet talk ni Luis. Mukhang ayaw na ayaw pa nilang umalis sa elevator. Kung hindi lang tinanong ni Luis kung anong floor sila, malilimutan pa nila. Tsaka may pa sugar coating pa na galingan daw nila. Second floor iyong room nila so I end up with him again, alone.

I suddenly remember our kiss. Ano ba ako bata? Nasira ang pag-e-emote ko sa kiss when I heard a shutter sound so I look at him seriously holding his phone that I think pointed at me? Did he just capture me? Pero hindi naman siguro?

"You can ask for a selfie, I don't mind." Feeling ko talaga, pinagsaksakan ako ng lakas ng loob para magyabang na maganda ako at ang assuming ko naman kung ako talaga ang pini-picture-an niya.

Mabilis niyang ipinulupot iyong kamay sa balikat ko bago tumalikod kami para makapag-picture siya sa salamin sa likod. Nakaharang iyong cellphone niya sa mukha naming dalawa bago niya i-click ang red button.

"You said, you don't mind taking a selfie."

He is really trying to prove to me that he's weird. "My pleasure to have a selfie with a basketball player wearing number 1 jersey,” I sarcastically said.

"Jealous?" he asked. Bakit naman ako magseselos? Tsaka dapat ba? It's not like nag-iisa lang siyang. Maraming mas gwapo pa sa kaniya.

"Don't be, I'm still your boyfriend," wika niya na seryosong nakatingin sa cp. Probably, scanning iyong picture naming dalawa. Pero saan niya ba nakuha ang ideyang boyfriend ko siya?

Magtatanong na sana ako pero naunahan niya.

"How long is your exam?"

Tinaas ko lang ang balikat ko. I don't have any idea. I mean, nakalagay sa slip na 1-3 pm but if I can manage to finish early from the time given, I think I can go home. I need to go and enjoy the rest of today with Kerr.

"3 pm, right? I'll wait for you. Let's eat something."

"No! You don't need to wait. I have some important thing to do."

Hindi naman sa ayokong makipag-hang-out sa kaniya pero syempre may prior commitment ako kay Kerr. I'm just glad na tinulungan niya akong mahanap ang building kung saan ako naka-assigned. Maybe, I can also buy him food pero hindi pa ngayon.

"Alright..." he paused at hinawakan na naman iyong tuktok ng ulo ko. He crouched down para magkasing pantay ang pareho naming mukha at makita ko na naman iyong mata niya.

"Do you best!" he said before pushing me out to the elevator.