Love n' Dear

Chapter 38: Brownies

"Ms. Violet someone is asking for you," the prof said and resumed the discussion that was halted because someone knocks the door.

I forced to get out though I'm really annoyed about it. I hate people who interrupt my studies. I'm very serious when I'm in the school because I want to study well. I'm part of the population where students are very competitive.

I saw Luis leaning against the wall with his hand in his pocket.

"Are you asking for me?"

There's a possibility that he's looking for someone instead of me. I'm not assuming things; just want to get this done because I love our lesson for today. I want to hear everything my prof said.

"Here," he said, giving me a black box. Tapos naman na iyong birthday ko so bakit may pa pa-present siya?

I accept it at kinalog-kalog, looking for a hint of what's inside of this.

"Your handkerchief," he said, sensing that I look stupid shaking the box.

I turn my gaze away from him kasi ang tagal na noon. Isang linggo na ata ang nakakalipas at alam ko namang nasukahan ko siya kaya nga bumili na ako ng damit na pamalit niya.

"I don't use something I lend." Ibinalik ko sa kaniya ang kahon kasi baka itapon ko lang. Feeling ko nga, naghahanap lang siya ng paraan para magkita kaming dalawa. Naka-block pa rin siya sa akin and I don't accept his friend request at requested follow sa account ko sa iba pang social media platform.. Buti talaga mabilis ang radar ko at nai-private agad ang account ko. Isa pa, hindi naman niya alam ang number ko so there's nothing to meet up.

He looked confused all over his face but I don't have time entertaining him so went to the trash bin and throw it inside. "I throw something I lend, so nothing? Can I go back?"

He grabbed my wrist and said, "Louisse--" nahihirapan niyang sabi.

"What? I already said I don't accept something I throw, in terms of things and human," pagpaparinig ko sa kaniya.

Lumalim ang paghinga niya at mukhang may tinitimbang. He can ask me question and I can answer it hindi iyong pinapatagal pa niya. May klase nga kasi ako.

"I'm busy, anything else?"

"At least accept the handkerchief," he said. I can see in his eyes na sobrang naiinis na siya sa akin pero pinipigilan lang. I wonder kung sasapukin niya na talaga ako this tine.

I laughed, trying to provoke him more. This poor guy. Why is he being emotional? That's my handkerchief! I throw what's mine so why bother?

"You should have accepted it when you heard me telling that I might throw it up."

He sighed again then touched his nape. "Alright, lunch?"

"No vacant," I answered and that's true and I don't have money. I just pay for my midterms because I don't want to hassle myself finding money and my exam is coming in two weeks. Dumating kasi iyong scholarship ko which is di naman ganoon kalaki atleast nakatulong pambayad and I just bought his shirt so I'm literally broke. I need to save again.

"After class?"

"No, I don't have time." I ignore what he's trying to say and walk inside the room.

After three periods, I immediately went to office to assist some instructor there. I was told to go to the library and assist there so I organize books and encode the names of the people who borrowed and return the book. I also checked if the condition of the book is good or not.

I didn't notice the time and just felt my stomach growling. It's already 1 pm when I take a break and order a burger and water. I look around and saw there are few people who are also eating here.

I scrolled my phone, chatting my oldest brother because he's asking about me. I'm actually annoyed they didn't go to my graduation party. Hinayaan ko na ngang hindi sila magpunta noong graduation ko noong high school because they are busy making ends meet at bagong lipat pa lang kami ni Mama rito but when my graduation of senior high came, they are also not present. I'm not even asking for them to live with me or be present on every birthday I have, just only the events that are once in a lifetime though they know that I won't get married so only in terms of graduation so that's it. Is that hard to do?

"Here," someone said then pushed a lunch box towards me and because it's transparent, I'm salivating when I notice its adobo.

I look up just to see Luis with his serious face. Did I ever tell him that I really want adobo? Hindi ko na nga malambing si Mama tungkol sa gusto kong kainin.

"Are you serious?" I asked plastering my most genuine smile I ever did. Syempre, wala ng agawan 'to. I'm so happy. Hindi siya sumagot at naupo na lang sa harapan ko.

"You won't poison someone you're addicted to her lips, right?" I jokingly said kasi sabi niya nakakaadik daw iyong labi ko noong nagsasayaw kami but he furrowed his eyebrow and ready to say something when I mouthed 'Thank you.' I haven't had a proper lunch since my college life until he came and offered me adobo.

Unang subo pa lang pakiramdam ko lumipad na ako sa Pilipinas muli. "Your mom is a good cook. She can start opening her restaurant and I would probably live there." I continue eating and I suddenly feel home while chewing it. This is it! The taste of home-cooked food filled with love.

Tahimik lang siyang pinanonood akong kumain habang panaka-nakang tumatango kapag may nangangamusta sa kaniya. Weird! Bakit ko hinahayaang nasa harapan ko siya? May ilang tao pa rin dito, may possibility na ipagkalat nila itong ganap ngayon.

Sa sobrang pag-aalala ko na baka magka-isyu na naman, binilisan ko ang pagkain and freak, I got choked. Gusto ko lang naman tapusin na ito at umalis.

Luis quickly handed me a bottled water and let me drink it. He even tapped my back, trying to ease what I'm feeling.

I'm so stupid! And I said I'll be in a diet but here I am getting choked because I'm so dead hungry and weighing other's opinion.

I acted fine and tone down my eating pace. I slowly chew and swallow it. I keep observing him because it's really embarrassing but he keeps looking at his wristwatch. Is he late?

"No need to wait for the lunch box. I'll bring it to you after I wash it, go now." That's the thing! Kung hindi ako aalis, edi siya na lang.

He just shrugged and takes out his phone, maybe texting his cousin that he'll be absent.

"You don't have class right now?" I wiped my mouth with tissue.

"Why?" he asked, looking at his phone.

"What's with your ‘why’? Then go attend to your class. I don't want to be the cause of your absent."

I really don't want it that he'll cut classes because of me, accompany me to eat and I'm already embarrassed. Can't he just leave so I can save my face? And there will be no issue of us eating together?

He seriously looks at me, hesitating to leave or stay here. But come on! Just go... far away!

"Alright, just don't get choke again."

Why does my mind turning green when he said is nothing?

Screw choke!

I nod, I'll be extra careful when eating pero hinawakan niya lang ang buhok ko at ginulo ito. He utter his favorite word 'silly' then stood up.

When he left, I realized that he trick me! I'm mad at him! I should avoid and ignore him but here am I, being stupid and choke myself by eating his food. This is very silly of me.

Lumingon ako sa ilang nandito at napansin na parang wala naman sa kanila iyong nangyari. I hope so!

--

Mukhang napapadalas iyong maagang pag-uwi ko dahil wala masyadong gagawin sa office, hinayaan na kaming umuwi. Naunang nagpaalam si Troy sa akin dahil may pupuntahan pa raw and it's not like kailangan kasama ko siya palabas ng gate.

I was about to tap my id when I smell a familiar scent. I look around and saw Luis tapping his id too. Kaya pala pamilyar, pabango niya iyon. Tumigil ako sa labas ng gate at kinalkal ang bag ko para maibalik na iyong Tupperware kasi nga baka kailanganin niya. Sa totoo lang, I had a hard time na isa-isahing kausapin ang lahat ng naroon sa caf at sabihing walang kami kahit na mukhang wala talaga silang pake. Basta honest lang talaga ako.

Paglingon ko sa pwesto niya, nawala na siya. Kung kelan naman nakita ko na ang baonan niya. Ayoko na ngang magpakita pa sa kaniya, panibagong chance na naman kasi iyon para mapagmasdan niya ang mukha ko. Ipinasok ko muli iyon sa bag at nakasimangot na naglakad papunta sa gate 4. I don't know kung naroon na si Zero pero alam naman niya ang schedule ko. Noong napagalitan siya, ibinigay ko na lang ang sched pero sinabi ko naman na hindi ako on time makakarating kasi may ginagawa rin ako.

Inayos ko ang buhok ko at pinilit na itali iyon habang naglalakad. Should I go with a bun?

Napatalon ako sa gulat nang may bumusina sa gilid ko. Papatayin ata ako sa gulat nito. Wala naman akong ginagawang masama.

Mabilis akong ngumisi at dinampot ulit ang Tupperware niya. Kanina lang hinahanap ko siya akala ko umuwi na siya and here he is.

"Thank you," I said, waving his thing. Ilalagay ko na sana iyon sa loob dahil bukas naman ang bintana niya nang bigla niyang sinarado iyon.

"Hop in," he said, in his one inch rolled down window.

Wala akong nagawa kundi pumasok. Dapat talaga ibibigay ko lang but since maarte siya edi tapusin na talaga. For the past few days, okay naman ako. Naalis ko na siya sa buhay ko since wala kaming connection sa isa't isa and Zero is not annoying anymore. Napaka-professional niya at talagang hatid-sundo na lang ako and I'm really happy na unti-unting bumabalik sa dati ang lahat. One of these days, I could probably do an exercise.

"Here, tell your Mom I said thanks," wika ko. Inilahad sa harapan niya iyong pinaglagayn ng adobo. Wala siyang galaw at nakatingin lang dito. Wow magic na naman ba ito? Mapupunta sa kaniya ito kapag tinitigan lang?

"Wear your seatbelt," he said. Bakit naman ako mag-se-seatbelt when I just need to return this thing?

"Without my consent, this is k********g," I reminded him.

Seryoso lang ang mukha niya at siya na mismo ang nagsuot ng seatbelt sa akin at agad na pinaandar iyong sasakyan hanggang tumigil sa may tagong parte.

"Who's k********g who? You said you don't want issue and no one can find us here."

Nangunot naman ang noo ko sa medyo di ko gets na sabi niya. "Why do we need to go here when I just need to give you this thing?"Inilahad ko sa harapan niya ang container na pagmamay-ari niya.

"Can we talk?"

"If this is what you did, I told you forgiven." May kasalanan din naman ako sa kaniya so fair lang kami sa isa't isa.

Kinuha niya sa akin ang baunan niya at may inabot mula sa back seat na brownies? Tapos ibinigay sa akin. What? Nasabi ko ba sa kaniya na paborito ko ito?

Hindi ko iyon tinanggap pero nilapag lang niya sa kandungan ko. Ang bait niya ngayon, ha.!Mukhang pinatataba talaga ako.

Walang pakundangan kong binuksan iyon at naamoy ang chocolate flavor. Amoy pa lang naglalaway na agad ako. Kumuha ako ng isa at isinubo sa bibig ko. Tamang-tamang lang iyong gayat dahil hindi siya malaki, hindi rin maliit, saktong-sakto sa loob ng bibig ko. Iyont tsokolateng natutunaw sa dila ko. Napakasarap ng pagkakagawa nito.

Lumingon ako sa kaniya nang tawagin niya ang pangalan ko habang seryosong kumakain ng bigay niya pero mukha siyang paiyak na. Ano na naman kayang ka-weird-uhan ang naiisip niya?

"I don't want to hear another sorry from you. Everything is done and I accepted your apology and you are forgiven."

Tumango ako para masigurado niyang okay na kaming dalawa sa tanong niyang kung sigurado ba ako. Nakakaasar lang that I can't find my handkerchief na tinapon ko kanina. Pagkatapos ko kasing kumain at makipagklaruhan sa estado ng relasyon namin ni Luis, bumalik ako sa basurahan but unfortunately it's gone. I won't use it, that's my rule but someone's whispering me that there is something there and Luis is nice, he gave me adobo. Nakakalungkot lang na hindi ko na mahahanap pa.

"Where did you buy this?" I asked, stuffing my mouth for the fourth time. Pito iyong laman ng bigay niya sa akin at nakakaapat na ako. Mukhang mauubos ko ito at baka kulang pa.

Nagulat akong sumagot siya but instead magsalita, nilapit lang niya ang mukha niya sa mukha ko at seryosong pinunasan ang nguso kong maamos gamit ang tissue.

"You want?" Kukunin ko na sana iyong isang gayat nang hawakan niya ang mukha ko at mabilis na dinampian ako ng halik. May kung ano na namang kuryenteng dumaloy sa akin, something like spark and I know that is risky.

Mukha siyang nagpipigil ng ngisi nang lumayo sa akin at nagpanggap na nag-po-phone, hawak-hawak iyong batok niya habang namumula pa iyong tenga.

Umambang sasapukin ko siya pero agad naman niyang nakita kaya nagmadali akong nagpanggap na ine-exercise ang kamay na tatawa-tawa.