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1276 Words
Chapter Nineteen
Jungkook bit his lower lips groaning when he realized that today is his day-off. He doesnt have anything to do for today.
In this kind of moments, he wished that he wouldnt stop working. He doesnt want to have a free time knowing that his mind will just drift off somewhere- to the moments that makes him happy but now gives him pain knowing how he wasted it.
"I am having a hard time loving you...."
Jungkook hissed remembering those exact same words from his lover. He can still see the pain and dissapointment in Seokjin's eyes that night.
All of the words that Seokjin has said that night is really, it hit him right on the feels knowing that he's saying nothing but the hard damn truth.
Seokjin did nothing but to work hard just for him to continue doing what he loves, he didnt even notice how his lover is slowly losing the glow in his face and slowly turning into a robot that is programmed to give everything that he needs. He feels sick thinking about that!
That night when Seokjin asked him to leave, he really did left. He wants to give Seokjin some time to calm down and he also wants to spend a night reflecting his actions for the past years realizing how much he became a torn wrapped around Seokjin's neck.
He doesnt have a plan on permanently leaving the younger, he loves him all too much to do that. Though, the call that he received from his mother- he just cant ignore it.
He wants to go to Seokjin but the thought of leaving his mother who cant even walk and is too broken because of his bastard of a father is haunting him, he cant do it.
He doesnt know what to do. Not only did his father threatened him about his mother but also Seokjin- telling him that they would suffer together. He knows all too well that his father can do that, saying a word in every company to put dirt on Seokjin's name.
Now, Jungkook realized that no matter what he do- his father wont really changed.
The sacrifice that he did is useless. His mother is still in pain and he is hurting without the presence of his most beloved.
As for Seokjin, he's fine as long as he wont ever crossed path with Jungkook. He's still not ready to face the man who broke his heart, he doesnt think that he would ever be ready for another torture that he though- he already overcome.
Jungkook made him happy and he is very much inlove with the older. It's just that he couldnt see all of those moments now because all he could think of is the pain that he felt when he left him, it's unbearable.
"Stop thinking about Jungkook." Jimin hissed rolling his eyes.
He raised his eyebrows at his friend looking very much offended because of what he just concluded.
"Im not thinking of him!" He defended.
Hoseok let out a mocking laugh which earned a death glare from Seokjin. The model shook his head trying to shrug it off.
"Really? Stop bringing him up." Seokjin said rolling his eyes.
Hoseok and Jimin looked at each other before laughing and giving each other a bump that made Seokjin stomped his feet whining because of his friends teasing him.
"You moved on, right? If that's the case, you shouldnt be affected with anything that is related to him." Jimin said.
The model suddenly stared at the plain wall taking in a deep breathe as he clutched onto the bowl of popcorn that he's holding.
He shut his eyes closed silently cursing himself for still thinking about Jungkook and wishing that he can turn back time- make sure that he wouldnt leave just like what he did.
Funny, really funny how he still loves him even after all the pain that their relationship had. It is toxic, he realized it as he looked back at those moment.
It is exhausting and it's draining every ounce of his energy just by thinking about all the things that he has done while trying to survive the life that he's living with Jungkook.
But he doesnt care about that, he never really cared about the tears shed in their relationship- he just love Jungkook with all of he could offer and he wouldnt trade that for anything.
And knowing that he's now back scares him a bit, he's scared at the fact that he may come running towards Jungkook and even accept him if the older wants to come back.
He wish, Jungkook wouldnt do that. He knows it. He doubt that Jungkook even has feelings for him, it's been a long time.
He's pulled back into reality when his phone rang so loud that Jimin threw a pillow at him.
He screamed because of that kicking Jimin's feet before picking up his phone walking inside the kitchen to answer the call.
"Tae...."
He smiled when he heard the older chuckled from the other line.
He shut his eyes closed silently cursing himself for still thinking about Jungkook and wishing that he can turn back time- make sure that he wouldnt leave just like what he did.
Funny, really funny how he still loves him even after all the pain that their relationship had. It is toxic, he realized it as he looked back at those moment.
It is exhausting and it's draining every ounce of his energy just by thinking about all the things that he has done while trying to survive the life that he's living with Jungkook.
But he doesnt care about that, he never really cared about the tears shed in their relationship- he just love Jungkook with all of he could offer and he wouldnt trade that for anything.
And knowing that he's now back scares him a bit, he's scared at the fact that he may come running towards Jungkook and even accept him if the older wants to come back.
He wish, Jungkook wouldnt do that. He knows it. He doubt that Jungkook even has feelings for him, it's been a long time.
He's pulled back into reality when his phone rang so loud that Jimin threw a pillow at him.
He screamed because of that kicking Jimin's feet before picking up his phone walking inside the kitchen to answer the call.
"Tae...."
He smiled when he heard the older chuckled from the other line.
"You guys having a sleep over?"
"Yes with Jimin and Hoseok..."
The other line went silent for a moment which made Seokjin bit his lower lips.
"Can I join you guys?" Taehyung shyly asked.
Seokjin didnt say anything for a minute.
It's okay if Taehyung would join them but he's sure as hell that his friends are not going to stop teasing the both of them.
"Yeah sure..."
Taehyung let out a small laugh, "Open your door now, then." He mumbled.
"What!?" Seokjin screamed.
He hurriedly made his way towards the door making his friends looked at each other curiously.
He opened the door and jutted his lower lips out when he saw Taehyung already standing there with an awkward smile plastered on his face.
"What?" Taehyung scoffed, "I missed you." He said before pulling Seokjin closer to him.
The younger let out a very wide smile as he let Taehyung enveloped him into a tight hug kissing the top of his head.
He snaked his arms around Taehyung's waist burying his face on the older's chest inhaling his scent trying to relax his nerves.
Taehyung, his friend, his greatest comfort.
- Writer
