if I was me

like air can move ocean, they move me like that. who is that air? their is a proverb who says "Childerns are like white paper Their is peoples who write in that white paper and they are first family,then teachers,and People you are very close to". one of this stages (the writers) were bad.b/c of this i moved to somewhere i would never, ever to be their.let's discuss about them one by one: 1,family thank god,They were like candle,who burn to light me.Of course their is nothing perfect in this world but They were best to me. 2,teachers again thank god,b/c of having teachers like them.i don't wanna to call them my teachers They were like mother to me.but its not all of them were kind to me some of them were difficult to communicate or to do anything else.but most of they learn me sometimes by corporal punishment and sometimes by advice me.but not school teachers only so was spiritual teachers (ustaz). 3,People you are very close to in this stage i don't now What would i say thank god again or why my god for specified them people you are very close to me means for me is two peoples first:neighborhood peoples and then friends. let's see them: A,neighborhood peoples in this case neighborhood peoples were so negative to me,by what b/c of my brother, means he was not bad for me but the neighborhood peoples were created conflict with us.let me tell what what things were different between us:first of all he was very Preferred by neighborhood peoples but i was difficult for them.b/c of this they start Separation us morally like saying to my brother you are different,you are not like him, and even saying he is not your bloody brother.i was child how i can tolerate this but until this time i burried thus case in my heart. B,friend this is the worst of all.b/c of they despise me in there eyes i am some kinda of alien not human.i begged them but They were not accepted me until i insert in their favorite things.then for a few years,then They gone one by one.first we were 5 amir,a.hafiz,yunus ,Mohammed,and saad. amir: was live with his uncle until that day come.in that day there was money in the house.then the money disappeared then they locate there fingers into amir by this case he mad and he go to his parents. a.hafiz:he is some kind of nervous but we were liked each other.when we complete the book (Quran) he said i don't want to continue then he go. yunus:he was lovely freind but when the time come he was living to his aunt then he go to his parents rural area. saad :the most difficult freind of all but b/c of i know him we liked each other.but one day in the school he threw me and i goes sick after that time we don't like eachother like before. Mohammed :the most hurt me friend.i was sick b/c of that my behavior was so changed he didn't understand me so he hate me.but if i was me i would not do that fault. so i am left alone.b/c of this i don't wanna anyone to come in my life so in my heart again. then i said to my self "loyalty from others is like nothing at all.